Hate me, love me, kiss me

Simon and the Ring

Another day passes by, and another, until a month has come by, graduation, I never thought those words would come about. Every Monday in my history class I sit in my desk and wait for someone to come through the door but, my heart knows that someone isn't showing up. My brain has forgotten who this person is, I sit at my desk to try and remember- but I can't. I lean my head against my hand which is resting on the desk. I close my eyes, we're watching a documentary about the Spanish flu, so now is the perfect time to get some rest. 

"Tell her to remember- she was loved" I raise my head from my desk, that voice? I get up from my desk, my heart racing. I grab my bag and walk out of the classroom. I pull out my phone and look at the name, Alan. My heart skips a beat, it wants to remember, but why won't my brain remember. I rub the pulse on the base of my head, why is this hurting me? 

"Siren?" I turn around, my brother stands behind me. What is he doing here? I once again find my self not being able to breathe easily. I collapse on the floor struggling for air. 

"SIREN?" My brothers voice has an intense amount of concern. He carries me to the office,

"She can't breathe." He states. I don't have asthma, nothing like this has happened to me before. 

They load me into an ambulance and start treating me with something called DuoNeb. Suddenly, breathing got easier, I started inhaling deeper to get the full affects. 

"Have you ever been diagnosed with Asthma or bronchitis before?" The paramedic asks. I shake my head no. I feel tired too, my brother had to bring his truck to the ambulance so we don't have to walk home. I take the tube out of my mouth and ask,

"How much will I have to pay for this? I'm an orphan who doesn't work." They were surprised by the news, they shouldn't have been,  the whole town knows who I am- I think.

 They put an IV in me, claiming that I haven't had enough water but I think I have. They roll me in a room and my brother comes in shortly after. He rushes over to me and grabs my hand.

"Ryan I'm fine, please stop acting like a drama queen. They are telling me it's an asthma attack."

"But you've never had asthma-" The doctor pulls the curtains aside, this might be the fastest ER visit in the history of ER visits. She holds a clipboard, this town is too cheap, I swear. She smiles and asks me how I am doing, I tell her I'm much better despite the fact of me not being able to breathe. I grab the base of my head and begin to rub. 

My brother interrupts her questioning to ask why I had an asthma attack even though I don't have asthma and she answers,

"Not everyone is born with Asthma, or other respiratory distresses, Sometimes it is caused with PTSD. Very much like a panic attack, being that your guys' parents have just died-" I look at my brother, I haven't told him yet about my parents death. Please don't overreact right now, I wait for his reaction. The only thing he does is excuse himself from the room. 

"My Parents died in a car accident- hit by a drunk driver. Why would I have PTSD about that?" I ask. The doctor shrugs,

"Sometimes the brain makes repressed memories." She hands me the paper and I grab it from her. She walks away and puts her hand on my brothers shoulder, he looks troubled. 

Repressed memories

A rare psychological situation where traumatic evens are placed in an unconscious place to be blocked by a normal function of 'remembering'. 

She's saying that my brain is blocking a traumatic event from my memory? By why would it replace with something totally false? Ryan comes into the room and sits back down in the chair. He asks me whats in my hand and I reach across the bed to hand him the paper. He looks at me,

"How did they die?" He asks. 

"They were in a car accident, a drunk driver killed them." He looks at the paper, 

"You sound like you've been practicing those words, siren." He looks at me without moving his head from the paper. That's just what happened, I can't say anything else. I know that they loved me, we had a great last day together and I won my volleyball game that night as well. Then they- they were, why did they leave? I was at school- how did I get home. I begin to rub the base of my head, I can't breathe again. I grab the tube on my lap at place it back in my mouth breathing the medicine coming out of it. If there was a trauma how can I get those memories back. Does my brother know something I don't,  there are so many questions. I put on my shoes and grab the bag the doctor gave me. An inhaler is inside the bag, she told me she'd give it to me for free this time around. I sit in the front seat of my brothers truck and stare out the window, rain hitting the window. 

"How is Alan?" He asks. I look at him with my eyebrow raised,

"Who is Alan?" His lips tighten up, I look out the window. Does this Alan character have something to do with my trauma? Is that why I can't remember him but he's in my phone and my brother knew him? 

"I'm going to kill him, he shouldn't have done this to you." he mumbles. But I didn't pay any attention to it. Ryan brings me home and I unlock the door with my keys, I open the door and throw the keys on the counter. I walk around the corner, I look up and the wind blows through my open window. I rush over to it and lock it. I breathe in and out trying to calm down. Ryan looks around. 

"Good thing Grandma Terri paid for this place before she died." Ryan says. Wait, Grandma Terri died too? When?! I look at him with my head tilted to the side. 

"Mom and Dad told me not to tell you." He said. Must be revenge that I didn't tell him about Mom and Dad. 

Ryan helps me pick up some of the place, I know Mom liked to throw things around every once in awhile and I'm desperate for a change in this house. It's looked this way for the last 27 years.. My brother was -3 years old. My parents just rented this place out in replace of my grandma going to a nursing home. My Grandma had a lot going for her, but this place wasn't one of them. In fact, she was quite wealthy, had lots of money coming in from a group. She was happy, except with her daughter, she hated her. So my mother tried living up to her standards but drove herself insane- eventually into a drunk. It was interesting to me how obsessive she got with trying to keep my grandmother happy. I just wish I could have asked her a few questions before her death. 

Ryan told me he was going to stay for a few nights in his bedroom in the shop- well, I told him to stay with me. I rolled over on my side and hugged my pillow. The events of today have concerned me, what trauma would I be experiencing? What memory is my Brain keeping from me?The wind blows through my open window, I better close that. I get up and push on the top of the window, pushing it down until it closed, I locked it. 

"Serenity." I heard behind me, I jump and backup towards the corner in my room. He looks in my eyes, he has black hair with red glowing eyes. A tattoo running down his arm, his hand dripping with blood, I can't breathe.He gets up real close to my face and licks it. He grabs my face with his hand and makes me look him in the eyes,

"Let her go Simon." His eyes stop glowing and anger has been painted across his face. A dark figure in the hallway,

"Leave us Alone Ryan, it's time for my revenge." Ryan? Who is this Guy? 

"I said let her-"

"DOWN WOLF!" Simon yells, Ryan quickly gets down on one knee and bows his head. The Simon character picks me up and lifts open the window, 

"RYAN!" I Screamed hitting the guy who is carrying me. I look on this guys hand and notice my watch,

"That is my watch." I said. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head.