Everything She Never Wanted

Chapter 6

6

The door slammed behind Cynthia as she walked to her car. She turned, expecting to see Henry approaching her to say goodbye without his cousin lurking, but instead, Zach was headed in her direction.

She unlocked her car and tried to get in before he could reach her, but luck was not on her side. He must have run to reach her that fast.

Dammit.

“What are you doing here?” Zach demanded.

“Having dinner.”

He narrowed his dark eyes at her. “You know that’s not what I meant. Why are you getting involved with him? Haven’t you done enough damage?”

“Damage? What damage did I do?”

“Seriously? You’re going to play the forgetful card? How about you ripped his heart out? How about you strung him along for years? How about you deserted him when he needed a friend?”

“I was there for him! I went to the wake and the funeral. I didn’t desert him.”

“Yeah, you did. Fifteen years ago when he told you he was in love with you. Not only did you forget to be his friend that day, and be gentle with him, but you disappeared and never looked back. He’s worked hard to get over you, and you breeze back in and have him in knots again. And now, of all times. He’s f*****g emotional. His dad just died. You need to drive off this property and never come back.”

“Are you threatening me?”

Zach shook his head. “No. I’m not threatening you. I’m asking you to think of Henry. I’m asking you to put him before you. He’s not thinking clearly right now. He just lost his dad, but you’re not a replacement for Uncle Victor. Let him grieve. Let him heal. And if you’re truly interested in him, then you can be together. But I think we both know you’re only here out of a sense of obligation. Or nostalgia. Or something. You don’t love him, and you never will. You only love yourself.”

Cynthia choked back a sob and climbed in her car. She couldn’t speak or even breathe. She just had to get the hell away from Zach.

Because the worst part of everything he said was that he was right. Every word of it.

Vivian Hill sat at her kitchen table writing her grocery list. She never thought she’d be shopping for Cynthia again, but she was happy to have her daughter home. She knew Cynthia was a lot less thrilled, but Vivian loved their time together. Especially since she knew it would end. Cynthia was never going to settle in Bereton, no matter how badly Vivian hoped she would.

The door slammed open, startling her. Her hand flew to her chest as cold air filled the kitchen, followed by one pissed off daughter.

“What’s wrong?” Vivian asked immediately.

“Nothing,” Cynthia said.

She tugged off her jacket, catching it on her gloves. She groaned and yanked off her gloves, throwing them across the room. Her jacket got tossed to the ground in an angry heap. Boots were kicked off, one hitting the side of the ancient beige fridge Vivian kept planning to replace. When Cynthia sunk into a chair opposite Vivian, she finally met her eyes.

“Zach Bennett happened.”

“Zach Bennett? Why do I know that name?”

“He’s Henry’s cousin. He was a year younger than us and good friends with Kip Arnold.”

“Ah! Now I remember. Didn’t you all go to prom together? You and Easton. Kip and his girlfriend. Henry went, too, didn’t he?”

Cynthia nodded, her face clouding.

“What happened?” Vivian wasn’t sure whether she’d get an answer about prom or about the mood her daughter was in at the moment, but she didn’t care. As long as she kept Cynthia talking, she’d feel better.

“Zach told me to stay away from Henry. He said I broke Henry’s heart years ago and that I wasn’t a good friend to him. And he’s right, Mom. I did that.”

“You didn’t mean to though. I have a hard time believing you would be cruel to your best friend on purpose.”

“I was,” Cynthia said softly, admitting something Vivian didn’t know.

“How were you mean to him? When he said he loved you?”

Cynthia sighed and looked up at Vivian. “He kept pushing, and I ended up yelling at him. In front of his family. I felt horrible, but I knew I was going back to school and I…” Cynthia paused, her eyes flickering up to meet Vivian’s for a moment. A moment that said there was more to the story than Cynthia was sharing. She shook her head and continued. “All I’d ever known love to do was destroy a person. I didn’t want that to happen with Henry. I couldn’t see him that way. He was my best friend, but Zach’s right. I destroyed him.”

Vivian sighed and rested her hand on Cynthia’s. “That was a long time ago. You’re very different now. And just because you said some hurtful things back then doesn’t mean you don’t deserve another chance. If you want one.”

Cynthia immediately shook her head. “No. I need to stay away from Henry. I’m having trouble figuring out who he really is, and who I am when I’m around him. I feel like I’m in high school again, since that’s when we were friends. But he’s not the same guy he was back then.”

“You’re not the same either,” Vivian said gently. She knew Cynthia had changed a lot over the years. Fifteen years ago, her daughter was a little selfish, some times more than others. But she found a group of friends in college that helped her to become much more compassionate and kind. Not that she was a nasty person, but Cynthia didn’t have many female friends in high school. Since she’d moved home, Cynthia maintained contact with a couple journalist friends from the Post. Vivian knew something happened before Cynthia lost her job, but she hadn’t been able to figure out what. Knowing her daughter was turning to her friends gave her some comfort. And she included Henry in that.

Or she did.

“Henry suggested going to the Finger Lakes Gazette and asking if they had any temporary work I could do. Then I could back off on some of the freelance and be able to help you out more.”

Vivian shook her head. “You don’t need to help me. I’m fine.”

Cynthia lifted an eyebrow. “You weren’t planning on me moving home, Mom. I know you’re good with your money, but having an extra mouth to feed isn’t cheap. I was hoping you’d have moved on with your life by now.”

“Moved on how?” she asked cautiously.

Cynthia shrugged. “Dating. A man. Or a woman, if that’s your thing.”

Vivian shook her head. “It’s not my thing, but neither is dating.” The lie tasted bitter in her mouth, but Vivian wasn’t about to let Cynthia feel guilty for putting a stop to her attempts at dating. Vivian made that choice all on her own.

Shortly after Joshua, Cynthia’s dad, left, Vivian considered dating. She went on a few dates, but she felt like a horrible mother for leaving her toddler with a babysitter. She didn’t try again until Cynthia left for college, but gave up then, too. A couple years ago, she thought she’d give it one last try. Dating was hard when she was young and healthy and willing to have s*x. Dating at fifty-six with quickly fading brown hair and a few too many pumpkin pies on her hips was just depressing.

“I always felt like you put your life on hold because of me. It’s one of the reasons I always wanted to leave. I figured if I wasn’t here then I wouldn’t hold you back from doing the things you always wanted to do.”

Vivian blinked away her shock and studied her daughter’s frown. “Why would you think that?”

Cynthia shrugged again. “You never did anything. I don’t say that to be mean, just that you would go to work and then come home. I thought you didn’t trust me at first, but you’d let me stay home alone when you were working so I knew that wasn’t it. I felt bad that you didn’t have a life because of me.”

Vivian shook her head. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. You are my life. When you were younger, yes, I avoided dating because I felt horrible taking away the little bits of time we had together. As you got older, I was scared. I worried I’d find another man like Joshua, and I didn’t want to put either of us through that.”

“He’s an asshole.”

Vivian nodded. “True, but he’s still your father.”

“I don’t remember him. He’s not my father.”

“You have his eyes.”

Cynthia drew in a breath, her chest rising. She hated hearing about her father, and Vivian knew it. She felt she owed her daughter a chance to know the man who shared her DNA, but Cynthia was never interested.

“I know you’re trying to be nice, Mom, but I don’t want to know anything about him. Besides that, we were talking about you dating.” Her eyes brightened and she clapped her hands together. “I know! You should let me set you up on a date.”

Vivian shook her head. “No.”

“Why not?” Cynthia asked, her face falling.

Vivian hated seeing her daughter upset or sad. She was so excited seconds ago at the idea of fixing her up on a date. Could she do it? Could she date again? She knew if she said yes, she’d have to give it a real shot.

“I don’t know, Cynthia.”

“Come on, Mom. It’ll give me something to do so I can stay away from Henry.”

“I think that’s a bad idea, too.”

Cynthia laughed. “Yeah, well, I was never good at listening to you about good and bad decisions.”

Vivian fought a grin. She considered letting Cynthia set her up. She hadn’t had any luck on her own. Maybe Cynthia would do better.

“Fine. One date.”

“Seven.”

“Not a chance.”

“One is not nearly enough. How about five?”

Vivian took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. But not one more.”

“Good,” Cynthia said, standing and grinning. “Five men, five dates. And if you find one you want to go out with again, it doesn’t count toward the five I set you up on.”

“Five men?”

Cynthia walked down the hallway toward her room, leaving Vivian to stew that she’d been outsmarted by her daughter. And she was going to have to date five different men.

What had she gotten herself into?

Henry hadn’t heard from Cynthia in almost a week. He asked Zach what he said to her when he went to his car to get his phone, but Zach wouldn’t tell him. All he said was he told her what she needed to hear.

Henry doubted that since she refused to answer his phone calls or texts. He was getting irritated and decided he’d go see her and then be done. He’d walk away knowing she wasn’t the woman for him. It didn’t matter that kissing her was the only way he’d found to forget about losing his dad, or that she said it was the best kiss she’d ever had.

He couldn’t hang anything on that.

Henry closed the door to his Wrangler and trudged through the snow to the front door. He knocked and waited. And waited. He peered through the curtains, feeling like a creep, but there weren’t any lights on inside. He figured either no one was home, or Cynthia was doing a hell of a job avoiding him.

Hands on hips, he faced the street where his Jeep was parked. He saw his boots prints through the deep snow and sighed. He told himself he was giving her one last chance. If he walked away, he wasn’t going back. He had a little more pride than that.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have enough to walk away without giving her a chance to explain. So he grabbed a shovel and set to work clearing the snow from the driveway and sidewalk.

An hour and a half later, Henry was breathing heavy, his muscles aching from moving so much snow, and both the driveway and sidewalk were clear. He peered down the empty street and knew he had to go. He was due for dinner with his mom and Ryan in an hour, and he definitely needed a shower.

Henry returned the shovel to the side of the house and admitted defeat. He had no choice but to be done with Cynthia, once and for all. He headed back to his Jeep and was about to get in when a car turned the corner. A glutton for punishment, Henry waited until the gray sedan pulled into the driveway. When Cynthia’s mom got out, without Cynthia, Henry wasn’t much happier.

“Henry Wilson. Did you shovel my driveway?”

He nodded and approached her. “I did. I was looking for Cynthia and found myself with some time on my hands.”

“She’s at the Gazette. She went over there on Monday and they gave her a job. At least until she finds something and leaves us again.”

Henry heard the wistful tone and couldn’t argue. He felt the same way about Cynthia leaving again. “That’s good. Hopefully that takes some pressure off her.”

Ms. Hill nodded. “She’s been a bit less stressed this week.” She nodded toward the house. “Do you want to join me for a cup of coffee?”

Henry shook his head. “I can’t. Sorry. I’m heading over for dinner with my mom and brother.”

“How is your mom doing?”

Henry shrugged. “Not great. I’m trying to be there for her as much as I can be.”

“That’s quite a burden to put on yourself.”

“It’s fine. I’d do anything for my mom.”

Ms. Hill smiled. “You always were a very loyal and kind person. I imagine that’s part of why you’re here to see Cynthia. She hasn’t called you, has she?”

Henry wondered if Cynthia shared anything with her mother. She always thought of her mom as her other best friend, besides him, so it wouldn’t surprise him if Ms. Hill knew everything that was going on. He shook his head. “I’ve tried to get in touch with her. I guess she’s been busy with work.”

Ms. Hill glanced up and down the street before she said, “Your cousin, Zach, told her to stay away from you. She took it to heart. She doesn’t want to interfere with your life any longer.”

Fury tightened his hands into fists. “Why would he say that?”

Ms. Hill smiled. “He loves you. She hurt you. He doesn’t want to see it happen again.”

“It won’t. I’m not a lovesick puppy any longer.”

Ms. Hill lifted an eyebrow and pointedly trailed her eyes down her clean driveway and sidewalk. Henry laughed.

“Okay, I get it. Maybe I am a lovesick puppy where your daughter is concerned.”

Ms. Hill shook her head. “I think you need a friend right now. You just lost your dad. Everyone in your life is a relative. You can’t go to them because they’re grieving, too. Especially your mom. She’s entitled to that, but so are you. I hoped Cynthia could be that for you.”

Henry nodded, his throat closing up. “I hoped for that, too.”

Ms. Hill pulled him in for a quick hug and patted his back. “I’ll let her know you were here. Say hi to your mom for me. I’m going to run inside.”

Henry nodded and headed to his Jeep. He headed home with Cynthia on his mind, like she had been constantly since she walked back into his life.

Less than an hour later, Henry walked into his parents’ house. No. His mother’s house. It slapped him in the face that it was his mother’s house and no longer his parents’ house.

“Hey, Ma,” Henry said, following his nose to the kitchen. He realized he should have picked up something so his mom wasn’t the one doing all the work.

“Hi, honey,” she said, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“How are you?”

She smiled at him, but her eyes were sad. “It’s been a long week.”

Henry nodded, understanding exactly how she felt. People kept telling him it would get easier, that he would feel better, but it was too soon to imagine feeling better. It had only been ten days since he’d lost his father. Ten of the worst days of his life. With the funeral behind them, everyone else’s lives were returning to normal. But for Henry, his mother, and his brother, normal was shattered.

Ryan came in from the living room holding an empty beer bottle. He tossed it into the recycling and approached Henry for a hug. They embraced, something that was relatively new. They’d spent more time sharing noogies and punch-bug punches than hugs, but Ryan turned to Henry when their dad died, so he was strong for his brother, holding on until Ryan let go.

“How’s it going, bro?”

Henry nodded. “As good as can be expected. How about you?”

Ryan shrugged. “It would be nice if we had some work to do. I’ve been hanging around with Leo and Kristen, but I feel like I’m in the way.”

“It’s hard to be alone, isn’t it?”

Ryan met Henry’s gaze, admission in his light brown eyes. He nodded once, like he didn’t want to agree but couldn’t help it.

“Have you been on any fires lately? Usually you pick up a few more shifts in the winter.”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been hanging around at the station a bit. Working out and trying to do something. It’s… not easy though.”

Jo hooked an arm through theirs and pulled them close to her. “I’m glad I have you boys.”

“We’ll always be here, Mom,” Henry assured her.

“I know. We have a lot of people who care. Like Cynthia. She came by a few days ago. It was nice to see her.”

“She came by here?”

Jo nodded. “Yeah. We had wine and talked for a while. Haven’t you seen her?”

Henry shook his head. “No. No, I haven’t.”