Finding Love Again

Chapter 8

The next week we spent all our time together, getting to know even more about each other. We discussed that I would go on the pill, we talked about holidays we would love to take, got to know food each of us liked or didn’t like. The one thing though that was hardly talked about was Cody’s family. He hadn’t mentioned me going to meet them, plus he was at my house all the time, staying over most nights, he even had a toothbrush and some clothes already here, surely they wondered where he was. I just finished plating up our dinner as we sat down on my outside table to enjoy the sunset and warm weather while eating dinner. 

“Babe, can I ask you something?” I began. 

“Mmm of course!” 

“Are you going to take me to meet your family at some point? You hardly mention them.” His face fell a bit, not expecting me to ask that question. He slowly swallowed his food, looking like he was trying to figure out how to answer. 

“Umm.. well. I mean I guess I can arrange that.” He said as he pushed food around on his plate, avoiding eye contact. I started to panic, what was he hiding. I thought things were great but now he was acting all cagey. 

“What’s wrong? Do you not want me to meet them? Will I not be good enough for them or something? Do they even know about me? Surely they wonder where you are!” He looked shocked at my outburst, then immediately ashamed. 

“No, no I haven’t told them about you. It’s not you! Please, please believe me with that” he placed his hand on mine, he would have seen the hurt in my eyes at hearing that. “My mum, she’s just full on. She scares people away. Then.. well, it’s like my mum hasn’t gotten over my ex. She’s always saying why don’t I make amends and go back to Kali. I’m worried she won’t accept you, not because of you. You’re perfect. Just because that’s what my mum is like. She thinks I’ve been staying at Tom’s because of work. I’m sorry. I should have told you.” 

I didn’t know what to say. I understood on one level, but on another I was really hurt. I leant back in my chair suddenly not hungry at all. Did I believe him? Was it about protecting me from her? But then where did he see us going if he hadn’t told his mum. She would have to learn about me one day. 

“So, how long was I going to be your secret then? I mean, if we have any future they have to have a chance to even know about me. Even if it’s uncomfortable or I have to win them over. You can’t just avoid it” I finished quietly, I was trying to not get angry, but also not to cry. 

“I know” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I’ll tell her. I’ll arrange to bring you to meet her. Just please don’t hate me when you do meet them.” 

“Cody, I couldn’t hate you for your family. Me of all people understand that we are not our family. But you might be surprised.” With that I got up and took my plate inside. I wasn’t hungry anymore, but I also didn’t want him to see me cry. I just needed a moment. I stood looking out my kitchen window when I heard him come inside behind me, place his plate on the bench and come behind me, snaking his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry.” He muttered, kissing my head. “I might go home tonight. Give you some space.” I just stood staring forward. He kissed my head, grabbed his wallet and keys and left. As I heard the front door close the tears fell. No matter what he said, I was left feeling like I’m not good enough and he is ashamed of me. 

I was lying in bed later that night watching Netflix. Feeling awfully lonely for the first time in months, I hadn’t felt this shattered since after Matthew died and everyone had finally begun to stop watching over me like I would break at any second. For weeks after he passed there was always someone at my house, taking turns to sleep over, making sure I was ok. After a while everyone backed off, which is when I really mourned as I was finally all alone. Now as I lay there, I was feeling that familiar, aching loneliness. My phone buzzes next to me. I thought about not checking it, but curiosity got the better of me. 

Hey baby, I’m sorry I upset you. I told my parents about us when I got home. Mum wants to have dinner on Sunday night. Would that be ok?  

Yeah sure. I know you thought you were protecting me, but I don’t need protecting. I want a future with you, that means knowing each other’s families. 

I know baby, I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, promise. 

I’ll hold you to that. I’m going to sleep, my bed is a little colder tonight :(  

Now I feel even worse! I’m sorry, night babe xx 

Night xx 

I couldn’t stay mad at him. After all, he went straight home and did tell his parents about us. If his mum doesn’t like me, then that’s her bad luck! Surely she can’t be that bad! Sunday night, great, only 3 days to stress out over her not liking me! I had to call Sarah and tell her. There was no way I was sleeping while I worried about this. I dialed her number, hoping she was still awake. 

“Hey girl!” She answered. I quickly spilled out everything that had gone on tonight. 

“She can’t be that bad can she? I’m likeable!! Plus if Cody likes me, then what reason could she have to not like me?? Also- who is this ex. Can you ask Tom? I need to be armed with info.” 

“Wow! Calm down girl! I’ll speak to Tom and see what I can find out. But honestly, parents love you! My parents wish you were their daughter more than me! Cody is also crazy about you, so please calm down and go to sleep. If your still feeling crappy tomorrow, head to the gym and exercise out your stress!” 

I signed, she was absolutely right. “ you always know how to make me feel better. Thanks girl. I still want to find out about this Kali though!” She laughed at me, “ I’ll do my best! Now goodnight!” “Night, thank you, love you!” I hung up the phone, feeling a bit better. I guess we’ll just see how this plays out!