Love, Cutter

Chapter 3

Chapter 1

“DON’T TRY TO TALK, Sweetie.”

That seriously can’t be my mother’s voice. That is impossible, unless it’s my penance.

“Everything is going to be okay. The doctor’s say I need to keep talking to you so I’m going to do that.”

Dear God, please don’t let her do that. I can’t take her talking. Please just let her go away.

“I realize you’ve been going through a hard time lately, but I never thought it was this bad. I mean I knew you were depressed, but I… I don’t know,” she let out a long sigh, “I wanted you to be okay again. I’m sorry honey. I’m so sorry.”

My mom is apologizing. This is hell, I’m now convinced. This doesn’t make any sense though. If I’m dead, why is she apologizing? If I’m alive why is she apologizing?

“I should’ve asked more. I thought you’d grow out of it,” she continued.

Did I just ask God for something?

He tried to open his eyes but he couldn’t. He could hear his mother crying. He could barely hear beeping sounds.

“Doctor says we wait,” a male voice said.

Dad?

“It’ll be alright, Susan,” he reassured her, but the crack in his voice was evident.

“Mr. and Mrs. Stone? I’m Dr. Leigh. Your son…,” the pause was accompanied by a shuffle of papers, “Carter, has cranial trauma due to the fall. The scan does show a contusion of the brain, which is an indication for the swelling of his face and his unconsciousness; however, those are not the primary concerns. His brain doesn’t appear to have any hemorrhaging or swelling, but we’ll have to keep an eye on that for the next few days. Lucky fella though, if it weren’t for you hearing him collapse he would’ve died from the pills he ingested.”

“Thank God!” his mother cried, “Thank you God! Can he hear us, do you think?”

“There is no way of us knowing that specifically, however in some cases, yes, they can.”

Carter felt the rush of air around him just before he heard his father whisper in his ear, “Son, come back to me. This time we’ll face it together.”

***

Carter found his head was still pounding when he came to again.

“Going to change your drip real quick here Carter and cleanse you.” He could hear rustling around in the room, “Better me than Big Bertha, who is also on duty tonight. She’s not so gentle. I will be one of your evening nurses. I’m Kinley.”

He immediately found himself frustrated that he couldn’t talk or move. He knew she was talking to herself, but he could hear every syllable like it was a drum and he wanted to scream for her to shut up.

“You are a strong guy. That’s good. You’ll need to be to get better.”

I don’t want to get better.

He heard the same whooshing sound of the door open and he thought for a second she was gone until he heard his mother’s voice.

“Hello.”

“Hello ma’am. I’m one of his night nurses, Kinley. Good to meet you.”

“I’m his mother, Susan.”

“Well, it’s good to meet you, Susan,” Kinley continued, “I am going to need you to step out for a few minutes though, so I can bathe him and then you can come right back in.”

Both of their voices were so calm. Still, they were like heavy drums pounding into his brain.

“That’ll be fine,” his mother said softly, “I’ll go to the waiting room. How long do you think?”

“Oh, I’ll call one of the ladies in there and she’ll let you know when I’m done,” Kinley replied.

Whoosh.

“Okay, Carter. Let’s get you clean. I apologize in advance if I hurt you. You should have enough pain meds in you, but who knows though, right?”

He could feel the pressure of her rolling him to one side, but no pain, other than the headache.

“I read a book when I was younger about a woman in a coma and she could feel everything happening to her. It was horrifying. Of course, I’ve been told that it’s not common, although it’s been known to happen. Anyway, I wanted to be careful, you know, just in case.”

Comforting words there, Nurse. You don’t need to talk to me, really.

“I don’t know, because I’ve never met anyone personally who has said it, but I’ve heard it is common when you are coming out of a coma that your head feels as if it is going to explode, no matter how much pain reliever is in your system.”

Good, then this is almost over.

“Carter, I don’t know what led you to be exactly right here, in this situation, but I am sure whatever the reasons are, you can get through them.”

You are right, you don’t know, so please don’t talk anymore.

“One thing I do know is that I am going to have one of the best, most juicy burgers in the world right after this shift. It’s the best place, just outside of Baton Rouge and most people pass right by it because it’s an ‘old hole in the wall’, as Gram says. Still, it’s the best burger in town. Sad you have to miss it.”

I can’t move, lady. Wow, you get the medal for worst nurse ever.

Carter could feel a little pressure when she rolled him to the other side.

“You know, people say you can’t hear, and maybe that is true, but somehow I think that people can hear. Even if it’s only with their hearts.”

Oh brother, please shut up. Last thing I need is Kumbaya crap. This truly is hell.