SHADOWS OF THE PAST

Chapter 07

BELLA

"okay, I'm supposed to say sorry now?" He says in between laughs. Choking on my own laughter I respond.

"yes, now no one will tell me what really happened there" I can't keep a straight face because he's just crazy today.

"I'll give you the minutes" he takes a bite of his chicken Alfredo trying not to laugh.

"mxm" I sip on my water and he cracks up laughing.

"I'm really sorry then, but don't worry,"

Whatever he says. We in his office going through some paperwork he wanted me to help him with. It's after hours so it's the two of us only in the building, except for security obviously.

"remember the papers I once gave you?"

I look at him. He continues "the once I told you to please check for me, before I… the day mirabelle was here"

I nod my head yes. "have you taken a look at them?"

"a little, they just confusing, it's a bit similar to the Japan project right?"

He looks at me and lazily nods his head "right" he says as if he's not sure.

"what i don't understand is why it has codes, it's double coded"

"how do you know that?" I look at him as if he's stupid.

"I double majored in mechatronics and I. T stupid" he smiles.

"so what does that say?"

"we'll, from what I know, it's not just an easy project, like I said, it's similar to the Japan one, Japan has a double code that's why we didn't get it, because our presentation for it had no code detector, if barbie b***h had allowed me to say something we could have at least decoded one "

He chokes on his food.

" Alexandra? "

" yes, barbie b***h " I take a bit from his plate, he swats my hand.

" ouch " he smiles.

" can you decode it? "

" I don't know, it needs time, a lot of it for that matter"

"okay the"

"is it important, I can ask someone to-"

"no it's fine, don't worry about it"

"okay"

"I love you" an involuntary smile makes its way. I loke it when he's like this, when he randomly confesses his love for me. Somehow it makes me fall for him even more.

"i love you too" he takes my hand and kisses it.

"so when are we getting Married?" suddenly he's become even more serious, here we go again with that question.

"or you Dont want to get married to me?"

"Travis" I hate it when he's like this, he seems a bit vulnerable, I hate seeing him like that.

"it's not that it's -"

"it's what" he interjects.

"dont do that Carlos" I know the ropes, one minute we happy the next we are fighting, I've had a great day so far I won't want him to start a fight all of a sudden.

"Do what Isabella?" sigh. Here we go again. "honestly it's a yes and no question, but don't worry, your silence speaks volume" he stands up and start packing away the papers.

"what are you doing?"

"what does it look like"

"Ohkay, you honestly being stupid right now" he stops and stares at me, chuckles a little bit and continues packing.

"mxm, I honestly don't understand your moods, we were okay five minutes ago and now you sulking like a little girl, I never said I don't want to marry you, you just decided to concluded without even giving me a second to give you an answer" I pack my bag and stand up.

"and if this is your idea of a proposal, pull up your socks man"

I pack away the food containers and put them in a plastic, I even lost my appetite mxm.

"what are you doing now?" He asks. When I grab my phone and bag.

"what does it look like" now I'm the one that's pissed.

"touche"

Before I even walk out he's on the door locking it.

"move out of my way please"

"I'm sorry okay"

"you always are"

"I know, I know baby" he sighs and rests his forehead on mine. "I'm sorry please"

He cups my cheeks and brings my lips to his. Suddenly I feel vulnerable, I have too many emotions all at once.

"please don't cry okay, I'm an i***t, please forgive me"

"then stop trying to pick out a fight with me every single time okay, please, I'm getting tired of it"

"I'm sorry, please, please forgive me baby" he says in between kisses…

I'm tired of fighting with him, we can never have a single day of peace and quite, we always have to argue about something, either big or small. He continues saying sorry, whilst kissing me, he hooks me around his waste and travels to the couch next to the shelves, puts me down and gets in between my legs, with my hands around his neck amidst it our clothes get lost.

Travis

" I'm getting tired” she said, those words hurt me the same if not more than hearing her say that she wanted a devorce back when she didn't know that our marriage Is fake. I can't have her tired, I can't afford to have her tired of me. If she's tired then it would be the end of us, that one I know.

I take my time with her, I want to remind myself of how lucky I am that this woman right here is mine, how much of a f**k up I am and she still loves me. I caress her shoulders and kiss all her scars, I know how she got them, she won't tell me so I made it a mission to find out and for this, I need to settle her score.

Her breathing pattern has changed; I know she loves it rough but I want to take my time with her.

I position myself and enter her from the back, she whispers so I stop.

"continue" she says, and I do exactly that.

As I move in and out of I think of how reckless I have been, when was the last time she had her injection. But somehow I find myself wanting to get her pregnant, as f****d up as it is, if she has my child, she and I will be tied together for eternity.

The thought of having a child scared me, but now that I have her, I wouldn't want to lose her, so I'll make it ky mission to plant a little human in that m

She's has her head on my chest and is trying to catch her breath. I find myself brushing her stomach thinking how she would look barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen.

I know I'm full of s**t but for the first time I'm scared of loosing someone, for the first time I want to win, to win not just this battle but I want the altimate win, her heart. That's what I want, because she makes me happy, she makes me want more. Falling in love was not part of the deal, it wasn't even an option, but I did and I can't go back, I don't want to go back, ever.

"when I was a kid, I wanted to be a painter, I don't know why, I just found painting to be this amazing" she says. "I told father one day before things changed, he said, if I wanted something, I should go for it"

For so long I believe that, I wanted to be a painter, but it all changed after one day, he came back different, since that day I wanted to do everything that pleased him, that’s why I studied robotics to begin with, because he wanted a male child, so I tried by all means to make him proud of me again. But - "

" he never was "he says m

" he never was "

" it's not your fault you know "

" mmmh. Maybe if he had a male child the he won't have a reason to treat me like this."

"well, I'm glad he didn't"

"what?"

"how else would I have met you?"

I find myself laughing.

"but seriously, I'm tired of all of this, being something that I'm not, I want to do what makes me happy, so… I Will marry you"

"what?"

"you heard me, I will marry you, because for the first time I feel loved, I'm lived by someone that I also love"

"and I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy miamor"

She trows her self inside the covers and switches her bedside lamp off, I have a stupid smile on my face when I switch my lamp off too, she shifts so that her head rests on my chest, I find her hair and play with it, this right here is my solace, my resting place.

"when can we get married?" she asks.

"I don't know, tomorrow?" she chuckles and looks up at me.

"okay" she has a cheeky smile on her face.

"you don't want to plan it?"

"not really"

"how about next month? The 8th"

"any day Is fine with me really; I just want to get married to you"

I smile and kiss the top of her head.

"we have to tell my parents"

"okay"

"we'll go over to their house tomorrow after work, how about that?"

She smiles and nods yes before she kisses My chest.

"what was your favorite memory when you were a child"

She sighs and leans into me, for a second j thought she wasn't gonna answer me, but she surprises me.

"the day before he left, he woke me up and wanted us to suprise mom with breakfast. I was so happy and excited, I threw my covers away and ran downstairs with him following behind me. We made a mess in the kitchen, mom came downstairs, looked at us and shook her head, she started cleaning up our mess and before we knew it, she was the one making breakfast for us. I know it's nothing but that's the last memory I have of us as a happy family, I wish for that, to have the love they had before things took a turn for the worse "

" no I understand you, my happiest moment was spent with naina, she was more of a mother to me than my own mother, my aunt used to visit every now and again but only when mirabelle was not around, I remember playing with her daughter, she was so tiny, a cute looking baby, but grandma died a few years after that and life became, I don't know, more difficult, until finally grace decided to take me in, and I found myself a happy child again "

I never told anyone this, she's the first person I'm ever sharing the story with, even my then therapist didn't know it, even-, I won't mention her name but even she didn't know, I never told her anything.

" what's your favorite color? "

She laughs and shakes her head. "I don't have one, black, that's if it's a color"

"no, you do. You love pink" she snorts.

"no I don't"

"yes you do. You always have something pink on you everyday, you might not notice it, but you closet is full of pink clothes"

"whatever. What's your favorite color"

"man don't have favorite colors"

"says who?"

"have you ever heard a man talk about their favorite colors?"

"yes, Matt has one"

Snort. "baby that's because he's gay" she laughs.

"luk does too"

"okay, maybe Grey"

"ah, what's your -".

"no, it's my turn to ask"

"no it's not, I was return back your question, and you asked two, I will ask two questions also"

Woman and completion. "go on then"

"how old are your exactly" what?

"27, in August, you?"

"20"

"what? I thought you 23"

"don't be funny, next question"

"okay, shoot?"

"who was your first love"

Fuck, i hope she doesn't hear how fast my heart is beating right now, I don't think she would like my answer.

"baby, why that question?"

"I just want to know, is it wrong to ask?"

"no it's not its just-"

'knock, knock'

"Tyler?" I call out.

"someone is here to see you"

"who us it?"

"I… I think you should come see for yourself" I feel his footsteps fading away. I get up grab my pajama pants off the floor and wear them.

"Travis?"

"I'll be back baby, sleep okay" she nods her head but I know she won't sleep.

Who the hell could it be at this time of the night, it's after ten for heaven sakes. When I get downstairs I find Tyler throwing his cigarette bud in the ashtray.

"what the f**k did I tell you about smoking in my house?"

He looks at me and then ignores me, pulls out another one and then lights it.

"what the f**k are you doing in my house this late"

He too ignores me and continues pacing around. Rubbing his face in frustration.

"what the f**k is going on her Lucas" she stops and looks at me and then at the stairs lading upstairs.

"she's not gonna come downstairs dont worry" he nods his head yes but still continues pacing, driving me insane in the process, unlike them, I left someone in my bed so I need to back and if they not going to tell me anything I will turn around and go back to my room.

A few minutes pass with no one saying anything so I stand up only to be stopped to steps away from the stairs.

"what the f**k?" I must have heard wrong.

"she's dead, I didn't mean to u swear" he has tears in his eyes already.

"pull yourself up man, what the f**k happened?"

"I don't know man, I promise you. She canes over to talk and then things escalated the next minute I had my hands around her neck and she wasn't breathing no more, I didn't mean to do it I promise you man" he crying, he's fucken crying. Jeez.

I hear her before she can speak.

"Luk?" she is only in My t-shirt and her fucken legs are out exposed on the open.

"Bella go back up please" she ignores me, instead she continues down the stairs towards his friend.

"what's wrong? Why are you crying?!"

He quickly wipes his face

"nothing"

he snaps, I see her flinch a little bit. Motherfucker better not upset her because he will have me to deal with. I walk over to them and wrap my hand around her waist.

"baby, please go get us some drinks" he looks at me, Tyler and the Lucas, I try pleading with her through my eyes.

"okay" she reluctantly agrees, I kiss the top of her head and watch her walk towards the kitchen. The minutes I don't see her anymore, I turn to this fucker right in front of me.

"where's her body?"

He stops and looks at me a bit, confused? Maybe, until he quickly recovers and start pacing again.

"in the boot of my car"

What the?

"okay, where Is it?" He stops and looks at me, then Tyler and then he again.

"Here at the basement"

What the hell us his problem. What is he doing bringing a dead body to where I live. f**k this.

"Tyler sort it out"

He nods his head yes and walks away with Lucas tailing behind him.

"f**k" this us a disaster waiting to happen. What will Bella think once she finds out.

Suddenly, I don't want her to Find out. Yet another secret added to my closet.