the life of Thomas

chapter 1 the beginning my name is Thomas and when I was born I came out dead. I was what they call a blue baby I was brought back to life I grew up abused not just mentally and but physically I was molested at the age of six by my sister's grandfather and when I was 9 I was playing out side and got stuck in front of my house by lightning that's when my split personalities came to be there's Roy he is a d**k he is a bad man and there's Andrew he is a nice guy I hear from the age 9 to 13 methamphetamines also selling my body to help my little brother and sister feed them and all that cuz my mom she was out high as hell on whatever drugs she can get her hands on so it's up to me to take care of my siblings a few years go bay I get in a lot of trouble and go to boot camp from age 13 to 16 I got out and started to run around Chicago ran into some gang me and a friend of mine kind of had it in good with the Chicago mayor of of the city of Chicago when we would go in paint houses as they call it we would paint them red but would go in and take care of all them sick nasty chomo child molesting mofucks and see at that point when we would take care of business like that Roy would take over me he's is a very evil man he would laugh at the innocent just is very crooked man and he would be the one to take care of all them unnecessary people about age 17 I step outside the bar and I get stabbed right in my stomach and writing my back kidney my right side my friend Jay comes out pops a couple of them gets me in the car as we drive away I get shot in my right leg we get to his mom's house she stitches me up with fishing line and burns the bullet wound with a hot iron damn that hurt worse and getting shot by this point I was on any type of drug that you can think of except for heroin never touched that was not for me. chapter 2 a new life age 18 coming along I had my first daughter novalee that was one of my most proudest moments of my life I couldn't be in there and a delivery room because her mother's mom wouldn't let me if her mom was 17 years old at the point in time so I stayed with her about a year and a half went by I was being treated like a dog by her mom my life was not a good I took off i was barely there so I didn't come around till probably about 6 months to a year after spending some time in jail I get out and I start to patch things up with novalees mom which then she gets pregnant again we split up again I just couldn't be with a woman who cheated and hit me then there was my second daughter korigan come i was in the room for her i tried to make it work me being i tried to be there for them all the time there mom told them i didn't want to see them I was out doing drugs I was so high on methamphetamines and Coke and anything I can get like I can get my hands on then i got married to a girl named Bethany I became addicted to spice synthetic m*******a as my son named Thomas was being born i sold spice and me and bethany were highly addicted to spice my son was about 2 years old she cheats on me with my best friend. chapter 3 my world is spiraling down I get lost around for a little while two years I'm driving down 52 with my brother and I supposed to Uncle he goes about 120 mph pulls the heat break we go over the westbound Lane of 52 and State Road 52 at the media go over the southbound completely clear the road hit the top of a 10-ft tree we were going so fast we went up here and roll down to a lake my uncle hold me out and told me that Phillip was dead so I kept passing out you know from shock but eventually I pulled him out of the car I carried us to a house close by us a whole football field and link to some old lady's house save his life that day if I wouldn't have been there he would have died if I went out of drug him that far plus I had a broken hand that hurt like hell by this point I'm around 25 still kind of f***** up running around then I meet up with my friend Quinton so me and my childhood friend Morgan live in a house together for a while I run into a girl named Kylie we were together for a a little while I was also addicted to spice synthetic m*******a she got pregnant with my son who she tried to stab in her stomach Keegan she keeps him away from me he has no clue who I am he thinks somebody else's his father which is happier now I'm glad that you didn't have to deal with the whole fighting me and his mom did all the time she was crazy chapter 4 a new change I was still struggling trying to find my footing at the age of 30 Unexpectedly, I crossed paths with an extraordinary individual who would become an integral part of my life. A woman in her thirties, she captivated me instantly, and I fell deeply in love with her without hesitation or reservation. I was willing to go to great lengths to demonstrate my commitment, thus I made the conscious decision to abandon destructive habits such as substance abuse and engaging in illicit activities. she was like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life she's happiness to my life I've never thought anybody was more beautiful than she is still to this to this day chapter 5 I want to give thanks and disrespect Thanks to her unwavering support, I was able to secure custody of my two older daughters, whose mother was unfortunately entangled in substance abuse issues. The woman I fell in manly love with, Brittney, show me what it was like to have a heart again show me what it's like to have a family and people who give a f*** about you I never really had that until she came around also had a three-year-old daughter named Farrah, whom I gladly embraced as my own she began to call me father or dad. It is worth oh thank you and gratitude to bring after about 2 years Brittney became pregnant with my son Blaze during this period. Regrettably, I betrayed her trust by engaging in conversing with other women and relaxing on methamphetamines while she was expecting. This led to the dissolution of our relationship.Despite the upheaval, our love remained incredibly strong, and we eventually reconciled after a few years had passed. However, my self-destructive tendencies resurfaced, and I once again began interacting with other females. This time, my actions were discovered, resulting in another breakup. because I was back on meth I relapsed Remarkably, she decided to give me one last chance. As of now, we have been together for seven years. Our son is now five years old, but unfortunately, Brittney made the difficult decision to leave me a few months ago due to my repeated on tweak again and then started talking with other women. this is something that needed to be addressed I had a problem and every time I would touch that stuff I will talk to other females I would be an Unfaithful piece of s*** if you're not taking it anymore she decided to leave me. I should have gotten help a long time ago like she told me to do and now I have horrible nightmares Despite the tumultuous circumstances, I cannot bear the thought of Brittney being with someone other than myself. I acknowledge my numerous mistakes, but she will forever be my family, my beloved. As the years pass by, my love for this remarkable woman remains unchanged. No other woman can compare to her in terms of her stature, her beauty, and most importantly, the love she brings to my life. Without her presence, my existence is rendered meaningless. and that I will always be thankful for her for being there and show me what that was chapter 6 depression and loss of family This separation has plunged me into a deep state of depression. Desperate to hold onto my family, I reached a point where I held a firearm to my own head in front of her, expressing my despair at the thought of losing her. and my family You see, I had the privilege of witnessing our son Blaze grow from from crawling a walking to talking it was something I never been around for I lost my family that day yeah I should I'm done things differently should never have hold a gun on myself I just I was afraid I've never been with her again and losing my family Despite the tumultuous circumstances, I cannot bear the thought of Brittney being with other man besides myself. I acknowledge my numerous mistakes, but she will forever be my family, my beloved. As the years pass I hope will always grow stronger that one day our love can rekindle by, my love for this remarkable woman remains unchanged. No other woman can compare to her in terms of her stature, her beauty, and most importantly, the love she brings to my life. Without her presence, my existence is rendered meaningless. I can't think of anybody else I don't want anyone else she was a big part of my life the only other woman I've ever loved that much and I'll never find somebody like her she showed me what it was like to be a father she showed me what was like to be a man she a good mother a very good partner and she still will be my best friend if there was a day that she tells me to come back you bet your ass I'll be right there and then be a better man for her chapter 7 A knew challenge unfortunately, she harbors resentment towards me due to my past actions. Throughout the years, she and I had developed a close bond, and it pains me to see her disdain towards me. Similarly, my second oldest daughter holds similar sentiments towards me I am deeply devoted to the woman who holds my heart; her presence is indispensable to my existence. The absence of her breath renders life insipid; facing each day without her by my side feels hollow. it'll be a while before I ever get with anyone else if I do because no one can take her spot Time passes, and our son embarks on his education journey. I'm wishing I could have been there if it was a better man I would have been Meanwhile, my eldest daughter has reached the milestone of 18 years, but her heart brims with animosity towards me. It is a consequence of the bond we forged over the years; she considered me her closest confidant. Even my second eldest daughter harbors resentment towards me, as she blames me for the pain inflicted upon her mother. and the pain that I called her and for me to break the family up Farrah, who now affectionately refers to me as Thomas not "dad," which I understand that but forever holds my unwavering support, for I hold the title of her father. and I will keep that The timeless message conveyed through this tale is the importance of cherishing every facet of love one possesses. In the blink of an eye, all that one holds dear may cease to exist, leaving them stranded and solitary. If granted the chance to rewrite my past, I would strive to become a superior individual, and possibly rekindle the flame with the woman who eluded my grasp. Amidst my and was always therDespite the tumultuous circumstances, I cannot bear the thought of Brittney being with someone other than myself. I acknowledge my numerous mistakes, but she will forever be my family, my beloved. As the years pass by, my love for this remarkable woman remains unchanged. No other woman can compare to her in terms of her stature, her beauty, and most importantly, the love she brings to my life. Without her presence, my existence is rendered meaningless day I'll show them i can be the one thay always wanted me to be within this time period. chapter8 the Knights of Savior I was going through extreme stress I about shot myself twice to take me right straight out to the Dome my dear friend Matt was the beacon of hope who guided me to Sycamore Springs. Since the first day we crossed paths, he has been a steadfast presence in my life. and I appreciate everything he's done for me he's a good man really good friend I have has my back like I have is Another individual, Keith, played a pivotal role in introducing me to the path guided by faith. into the Lord Jesus strive to emerge as a more virtuous being, wholly aware of the potential I possess.. and hopefully one day God will give me the path to being a good man to being a good lover and father a faithful man and trusting man in one day I could have my family back if that will you will forgive me I just have to show them I have changed and all I can do is hope for the future to see us together again thank you for reading