SEE YOU

Chapter 4

Joreign's POV

I glanced at Vin who was silent. After what he said, it seemed to me that words came hard to come by. So, instead of continuing the silence I stood up and looked for something that would help us kill time. I went straight to Dalta's room and rummaged through his drawers.

"Ah, kita ko na." I mumbled. I was holding a box of cards as I came back. Vin who was silent eyed the box. I lifted it to show him.

"We should play." I demanded. Umupo ako across him as I started to unbox the cards. Dalta had recently bought this but I'll be the one to use it first. Pahiram lang muna Dalta.

"What's that?" Vin sat up straight looking interested in the cards.

"Uh, I'm not that sure either but these are cards that have some questions in it and we both answer...that's the game I think?" I bit my lips because I can't believe that I'm trying hard to ease this sitauation.

"There are levels, just like a standard game there are three." I pointed the divisions in the cards. "Easy, hard, and the last one...uh these are deep questions I think?" From my peripheral I saw Vin raising his brows in confusion. Hay, ako rin naguguluhan. Ah basta we can just play and learn.

"So basically, it's like a game of truth or dare?" I nodded in agreement.

"Kind of, but without the dare. We pick three cards in each level. You go first." he shook his head and pointed at me.

"Lady's first." he softly said. I just pursed my lips as I had to pick first.

Tiningnan ko ang mga cards sabay bunot ng isa mula sa easy level.

I chuckled as I read the card.

"What does it say?" Vin curiously asked.

"What is your job?" It was a very easy question so I got tensed for nothing.

"I'm a restaurant owner and a shareholder, currently I'm planning on launching a cosmetic line and establishing my own brand." there are a few things too but I'd rather not tell. I don't want him to see me as someone who's boasting off of my achievements.

"Wow, you're amazing for that."

"What's so amazing 'bout that? you're a singer have you forgotten?" I teased. He scratched his forehead as he sighed.

"I was, but right now...well you can say I'm jobless." He nonchalantly says. I hit him on his knee to my frustration. He looked shocked at what I did. Of course! who wouldn't we just got to know each other and here I am hitting him.

"You can always make your music again. Stop holding on to some unworthy people who drag you down. The best way to rise is to start again from the ground." I lectured. Why is he good at keeping himself depressed? and why do I see my younger self in him? and why did it rhymed?

"Yeah, you're right. I'll take note of that Jo." he then smiled, I saw his eyes flicker in hope and that made me smile too.

I clapped. "Okay! your turn..."

"How old are you?" he read. "I'm twenty-five." So i'm two years older than him? He looks pretty invested in the game so I placed my hand on the mediocre leveled cards.

"Moving on to the next level." I said as I picked a card.

"How are you?" it said on the card. I couldn't come up with an answer right away. Funny how I never asked this to myself before up until now. It's like a road block that's stopping me from spitting out words.

How am I?

If i'm going to compare myself a few years back...I guess i'm doing well. But am I? Compared to before, I made progress. I couldn't even look at a man before and yet here I am alone with only Vin in this house. I guess I never learn.

"I'm fine." I said. He pierced me with his questioning eyes.

"Y'know, I always wonder if women tend to be really fine when they say that word." he snatched the card from me and looked at it then he looked over at me again.

"Are you really fine?" I gulped holding back the emotions trying to reach out to his question. Time was ticking by and I can feel his gaze being softer, there was a hint of pure concern in it.

"Women are viewed as someone who is weak and fragile by men. But really, women tend to say that they're fine because even if they're not they'd still be viewed for being too dramatic or sensitive."

"Either way if we say we're fine, men will have doubts and if we say we're not fine men will see us as someone who always complains...so does it matter if we're telling the truth or not?" sometimes its a women's instinct to tell lies and it's usually for the greater good.

"I think you misjudged something Jo," he gently placed the card on the floor while his ocean blue eyes looking me straight in the eye. "Not all men think of women that way." he firmly says. "Besides, a weakness can be a source of strength too..."

"I know someone..." he began.

"She was very beautiful, kind-hearted, to the point that she'll say she's fine even when she's not. She gives everyone a part of her 'till she has none, even so, she said she was fine. She would wake up a little less than she was yesterday and she'd continue to do that for more days to come. People think she's a fool...for always prioritizing others instead of focusing on herself. So I asked her why...why does she put others first before her? Why would she empty herself just so she could fill some void she didn't cause?" he sounded so hurt as he continued to speak.

"Can you guess her answer?"

I couldn't dare to speak up because I believe that I do know the answer but I refuse to say so.

"She said to me, 'The world is already a cruel place to live in, so I chose to be kind to those people who refuse to be kind for themselves.' and do you know what she did next?" he asks.

"The next day I saw her hang herself." he paused for a moment before he could proceed.

"I couldn't stop her nor I couldn't ask her beforehand if she was fine. But I do know deep down, she's been bottling up those feelings 'till there was no more space for it. I was pretty sure those words that she said were all lies. So Jo, I don't think lying to yourself would do you any better. The world will continue to spin, people will continue to lie and deceive you but in this world the only one you can truly trust is you...so what's the point of lying to yourself?"

I felt like an open book only to be read by him so easily. The welling tears have travelled down to my cheeks. I couldn't help but be taken down by his words. I've gone through the darkest dark in my life, I've run to some far away land to hide and I've tried my best to live by without anyone knowing of my pain and the shackles in my heart. Yet here, in this very moment...for so long I have held it in only to be unraveled by him.

I wiped the tears and composed myself.

"Can I be honest then?" I asked. The corner of his lips went up halfway through as if he was expecting my question, he then placed his hand on my head and gently gave me a pat as if he was comforting me. No words were said but I felt understood.

"You're right. I shouldn't have lied nor do I have to hide from myself. But, sometimes you can't blame me for doing so. The world I live in had forced me to go into hiding. My face remains neutral, my body covered, and my emotions concealed. It's a cruel place yes, but what's more ruthless are the people who live in it." I smiled bitterly. I cannot even remember the last time my lips curved up high and how my heart was embracing the sky.

"Hey," he called out softly. "Someone is bound to find the truth that had gone into hiding, someone will water the seeds that you've been anxiously planting. Someone will nourish you by loving it all. The past, the present, and the tomorrow... no matter what's gonna happen. Someone will hear about your lonely battle and fight for you, be with you and see you with all your battle scars. By then, there'd be no more hurt, no more hiding because that someone will give you a reason to love yourself again.."

"You were brave for enduring, so try to widen your patience...just a little more...who knows right? maybe you've met that someone. Yet you just don't know it."

I was silently laughing in my head. Not because his words didn't reach me but because of his claims about meeting a special someone. I think he has yet to fall in love. How lovely it would be if I could just shrug the past and believe again, start over and fall all over again. His words were pieces of a puzzle unfitting of this shattered soul.

"Vin..." I reached for his hands that were placed in my head. How warm it was unlike my hands that were frozen cold with no one to hold. It was my fault anyways, for hiding, for leaving, for blocking the people who were reaching out. I was door-slamming them in the face as I weep my young heart in the dark cornered room. I placed his hands over his chest, where his heart lies in between his rib cage...where his heart beats.

"You can fall in love that's nice. Lend your heart to the hands of a woman who knows how to cherish it. Write songs, sing to her...be the comfort she's been searching for. I think you have a heart full of love to give, and I'm thankful for your kind words but.." I saw his other hand move wanting to reach mine but I pulled away and kept my hands to myself. "I don't think I'll ever fall in love again. I'm just too tired to ever want to be in a relationship, i'm too broken to be fixed."

"Just who damaged you like this?" Silence filled the room for a couple of seconds before I could respond to his question.

"Let's just say I was a girl that had fallen for a boy. He was able to build my world and he was the only one capable of tearing it apart."

"And you? the woman earlier in your story...perhaps she was a woman you love?" I tried to refocus a different topic but instantly I regretted it.

He smiled painfully.

"She's my mom." I gasped. I shouldn't have asked!

"I am so sorry. I didn't know."

"It's fine, it's all in the past now."

"Jo, you seem like a good person and I don't want you going down the same path as my mom did. I had regrets...of not checking up on her, of not being there for her. Up until now I still wake up at night because it haunts me how I couldn't save someone close to me. So if you ever need someone...to talk to, to listen with," he offered his hand to me. I stared at it. His warm hands were welcoming, but it still fears me. But I wonder what would happen if I held on to it.

"I'll be someone who'll show up for you." So I accepted it.

"I'm counting on you." I sincerely said. His warm hand gently squeezed mine and it's crazy how I felt safe in his hands. No short breaths, no chills down my spine...just pure warmth from his touch.

"I'll be your partner in crime don't worry." he suddenly joked and that made me laugh. I got here so I'd comfort him but I was the one who got comforted instead. I should do better.

"Now I think it's your turn." I pushed the pile of cards to him and without hesitation he quickly pulled one.

The sky was slowly enveloped in the dark but the moon shines through the window pane while the clashing of the waves can still be heard as it wasn't too far away from where they were. And that night, there was a woman who chose to have faith and a man who chose to heal something he never broke.