HIDDEN (hide or die)

Chapter Fifteen

ANDREW'S P.O.V.

Concern swam in his eyes, and that was all I could think of. My hands itched with the need to pull him against me, to see if his skin was as supple as I'd imagined it to be. If only I could-

"May I?" I blinked away my impulsive urges but failed to detect his intention. I nodded once, feeling aloof for losing myself in the skies trapped within his gleaming orbs.

He sat beside me, and I was confused for a moment, did he really ask for my permission to sit beside me...? It was a thought I couldn't dwell on long, as my body erupted in tingles when his knee brushed against mine as he settled in, closing our bubble from the surroundings.

It was silent for a while, he had wrung his hands together at his lap, face drawn downwards while I took the moment to marvel at his beauty, the sun made his hair shine in different shades of blond, and his eyes a breathtaking crystalline blue.

"Do- Do you hate me?"

I almost flinched at his words, his declaration taking me aback. What had I done? I led him to believe that I harbored feelings of hatred towards him when what I felt for him ranked at the other end of the spectrum, I adore him.

But how will I convince him otherwise? When all I did since we first met was lash out and sneer in his face? I was a foolish i***t for thinking that could solve anything at all, or diminish my feelings for him. It only further complicated everything.

Yet, I stayed silent. Could I really tell him the truth? For it holds promises I couldn't uphold to. If I told Kyle how I truly felt about him, what would happen then? That would demand things of me I wasn't quite prepared to face, nor did I have a solution to anything. So I lied.

"Yes."

The word felt heavy as it lodged its way out of my throat, my stomach immediately clinched in regret, and I wanted to take it back. More so when his expression fell and immense sorrow glazed over his eyes.

He stood abruptly, shock and embarrassment clear on his face as he fisted his trembling hands in humiliation. My blood went cold, and my mind went into overdrive when tears threatened to path down his rounded pale face.

His lips trembled, and he managed a few steps away before I latched onto his wrist, wrenching him back into me. His body molded into mine as the truth tumbled out of my mouth, the fear of forever losing him outweighing the fear of everything else.

"No! No, I lied. I lied, I don't hate you," my words were a heavy breath against his dewy lips.

And as I looked into his moist eyes, our close proximity settled in and sent waves of dizzying desire that impacted me greatly. His lips, so close, parted and inviting. So I did the only thing that made sense to do. I kissed him as though kissing him was the purpose behind my being. As though it was the only thing that made sense because it did.

I clenched my eyes tightly as I took in his sweet taste, a part of me waited for him to push me, slap me for kissing him maybe, but when his arms wrapped around my neck, and his lips parted against mine, accepting my eager kiss, I was undone.

The fire I was trying to diminish within me, roared to life as I cupped his beautiful face. Pulling him impossibly close all the while thinking how right it felt to do so. Taking more of his lips before I slowed down to savor the moment for as long as I can. Moving one hand to cup the back of his neck, tangling in his soft locks, the other to wrap around his surprisingly slim waist.

Birds chirped, and a car honked in the distance. But I paid it no attention, content to stay wrapped up in him. Apparently, he thought different, his hands pushed against my chest until I released him, reluctantly. But my reluctance was quickly replaced with concerned when he fell against the tree bark, tightly covering his ears. What?

"Kyle? Are you okay? W-what's wrong?" I hesitated for one full second before I crouched in front of him. He looked pained, and I panicked.

"Kyle! Answer me," I shook him slightly, grasping for his attention.

"Make it stop! Make it stop..." looking up, he whimpered then pushed his face into my chest.

I reacted on impulse, gathering his form into mine, I stood with him in my arms. Surprised by his unusual lightness but I pushed that back, I looked around and turned in the way to school. My first thought was to take him to the nurse. What else could I do?

It was maybe a minute into me walking, that he quieted down and his trembling ceased. His body relaxed into my hold, and his face retreated from where he had lodged it in the crook of my neck. His flushed face was tear stricken, but his weak smile told me what I wanted to know. He was okay.

I blinked as his lips pressed against mine in a chaste kiss that did nothing to sate my hunger. I groaned, tightening my hold on him as I leaned back a bit. Barely able to hold the both of us up from the sheer force of wanting him.

Then, he was out of my arms and away from my vision range, disappearing behind the thick bushes lining the woods' entrance.

-

I was pulled out of my revere when Mathew's car skidded to a halt in front of me. My eyes lowered to matt's face as he rolled the window down and I had the sudden pressing feeling to flee, but I knew I couldn't avoid this any longer. Even if my brain was already working on conjuring lies for me to spew to his face, and guilt over, later.

His eyes were cold and hard, telling me exactly what I needed to know. And that feeling to flee came back, "Don't even think about it Drew. I'll hunt you down, I swear."

I stayed still, watching as he grinded his teeth, grabbing the steering wheel too tightly before he reached across to open the passenger door, "get in i***t, what where you doing standing there looking at the distance, anyway?"

Other than that, he said nothing. And neither did I. I felt a bit of guilt for treating him the way I did this morning. But this was no ordinary problem that I can go to him for, and I didn't know how to come clean, when coming clean included only half the truth, and as little lies I could include without giving anything away.

But the silence was too defying. Rides with Matt were always so chill, and by the time he put the car into parking by my front yard, I had made my mind.

"Look, matt-"

"Don't. If I'm going to force the issue out of you, then I don't want to hear it."

"What...?" I blinked, flabbergasted. He sighed, then looked me straight in the eye,

"I'm your best bud, Andrew. I shouldn't have to chase you for you to tell me what's wrong. If you wanted me to know, and you're ready to tell me, I'll listen. Just know that I have your back, alright?" he looked away then, and grimaced slightly, as though saying that went against everything he stood for. It kind of did... he wasn't the kindest or most understanding person. So hearing that from him was... weird.

I'm used to his persistent presence, pushing and pushing until I cracked-often pushing beyond the limit which resulted in high tensioned silent treatment, until we somehow made up- so I had a half-mind to call him out on his bullshit, but I didn't.

I'd do anything to not have to lie, and if he didn't want to hear me, then that's even better. Even if I didn't believe his sudden change of heart.

"Thanks, brother," I said at last. And he playfully punched me lightly in the shoulder as a reply.

"'s alright. Now get out of here buster. I have to go."

A minute later, he was speeding down the road, and just before he rounded the corner, he switched the light in the right-hand corner tail light of his car for a millisecond. A wink.

Typical Mathew, I shook my head fondly and headed inside.

I got a text from my mum that they were going to be late, which worked in my favor since they won't know that I skipped classes. The only downside to that is that now I have to either cook something or order something. But I'm too spent to put effort in the kitchen, and ordering from any restaurant in Bluefield is like a beggar being a chooser.

But that's an issue for later. I thought to myself as I went up to my room, I was practically dragging myself up the stairs. It's pathetic really. Being kept awake all night because of a boy. How did I even manage to stay upright for this long?

My groan was stifled by the sheets when I threw myself face-first into the bed. Big mistake. It felt as though my limbs would fall off. I closed my eyes and tried to relax my body. I'll be so damn stiff when I wake up.

The glass of the window rattled violently as it was thrown open, sending me tumbling out of bed in shock. I turned around, my heart pounding in my ears- then everything grew muffled.

"Ang- Kyle?!"

But it was neither of them. For the anger and hatred that shone brilliantly in his eyes, the intensity so clear in the rigid lines of his face, erased all traces of grace and peacefulness I found in the two. His brows were slopped down in unmasked anger. Anger that seemed to brew in him for so long. Anger aimed at me.

Bolts of lightning illuminated his rage, and thunder was in tune with his steps as he advanced towards me, and before I had a chance to live through the action; I was thrown harshly onto my bed. I quickly sat up, questions flying out of my head at his unexplained behavior.

But as quickly as I sat, I was thrown off by his advances again. This time landing beside the bed. My ears rang, and it took a second for my sight to come to focus. When it did, however, I was greeted with his figure looming over me, you'd not have ever guessed that this was my petit boy.

I felt so small, engulfed in his shadow. And I hated it. He felt so small just hours ago when I held him against me so why is he so- his hand came down to land me a slap across the face, just as thunder clapped outside. It was as though that act paralyzed me- or perhaps guilt- for I sat there and waited for more of his punches. They never came through, instead, his fingers wound up around the base of my throat.

"Kyle?" I whispered hoarsely, he snorted. At what I wasn't sure, but the voice he spoke in, was venomous. The wind from the storm outside tousled his hair and sent chills of cold to my body that nearly rivaled the chills he gave me.

His fingers tightened around my throat, slightly cutting off the air, he sneered down at me with an emotion I didn't want to find there and that made it all the more harder to breathe "I hate you. How much of a stupid fool you have to be to not realize that we're-"

His words rang in my ears, and I closed my eyes shut. Hearing him say it sent a flood of pain that filled my chest and clogged my throat. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before. A physical pain as though my heart decided to stop. I opened my eyes, realizing he had stooped saying whatever he was going to tell me.

But as I blinked, he was gone, my window was closed shut and the sky was masked in hues of dusk, I was no longer on the floor, instead face-first onto my bed as if I have never left. I scrambled to sit straight, my eyes shakily looking over the room, as I felt up my neck.

I didn't. It was a dream.

-

How I got past the panic and out of bed, into the shower and then in a clean set of clothes, I have no idea. Now, I'm standing by the kitchen counter trying to find my senses from the haze that filled my head. This isn't like being on autopilot, this is worse.

For I hadn't realized that I had even left my bed until I was headfirst under the shower spray.

I hate you.

And even now, when I'm fully aware of the fact that it was only a dream and that I'm completely awake, I couldn't shake the residual tremor out of my body. I could feel the pressure of his fingers around the sides of my neck. Shake it off Drew. Its mind games and you're not easily frightened. Get a grip.

"Mind games... in what world would sweet Kyle be a fallen angel? Surely I'd notice."

I sighed. I'll drive myself insane with this faster than driving to my first car accident. Might as well get food. On cue, my stomach rumbled loudly, a result of me skipping both breakfast and lunch.

Pizza sounds really good right about now... the only issue with that is that we don't have a pizzeria in this sick joke of a town.

I never understood what appealed to my parents when they decided to live in such a small insignificant town with people whose minds were even narrower when they could have lived in the city. With endless chances and possibilities.

"'Pixies' will have to do." I ran my hand through my halfway wet hair a few times and deemed that to be the only effort I'm capable of putting with a mind that could zone out right into a battlefield and still not notice. I pulled my sneakers on and pulled some cash from the 'food allowance' that was left for me and headed out.

There was a slight wind swishing about, but nothing out of the ordinary. The street lamp ahead was still flickering unsteadily, the skid marks on the asphalt street the same as it has been for the past countless years, only a bit more faded, and my bicycle was where I had left it last. I eyed it for a few seconds, considered using it for a split second then walked past it and into the main street.

I'd like to keep my head where it is. I looked at the house across from mine, still expecting to see an angry mother marching at me, or an angry Kyle glaring from the second story. But it was as still as it has always been.

Almost unlived in, if not for the vibrant flower pots lining the front porch, you wouldn't know anyone lived there even.

I huffed out my breath and walked ahead, thinking back to everything that has happened as of late. I'm still confused about why he hadn't ratted me out. And then this morning... how it felt to hold him, breathe him in... I shivered in both delight and fright.

If felt so right that I feel dis- I halted in my steps, suddenly too aware of my surroundings and the fact that I nearly walked straight ahead into the woods, when I got this feeling within me.

It's not simple to explain, but it's like a tug that stems somewhere at the bottom of my chest yet unidentifiable at the same time. It's both heavy and light but it always signaled to one thing- he was near. I just knew. And I stilled, hoping that he'll come out. I was adamant about finding him but seeing as I was so close to the woods, spotting him would be difficult.

Especially if he didn't want to be spotted.

Minutes ticked by, and the dim lamppost kept flickering away, the wind howled about, unbothered by my stance at the crossroads, right where I was just hours ago. I gasped when the feeling intensified in a negative way, as though he just left and I nearly doubled over, but I held my ground. I really just want to see my angel and get my food.

Houses begun to blink off, signaling the phase of dead- they go to sleep early. So it must be well past seven. I sighed, bailing on dinner because even if I left now, it would be too late of an hour to walk back home. Dark and gloomy and I just realized I forgot my phone- f**k.

I turned around agitated at myself, but it was only a few steps that I took when his sweet voice got caught in the wind "A-Andrew! Wait!"

I watched as he ran over, a brown bag clutched tightly in his hands. And then he was right in front of me, craning his head to look up, and l*****g those tempting lips of his. I wanted a repeat of this morning all of the sudden. But amplified.

"The hell where you doing there? Does your mum know you're out?" I was still focused on his lips though. Wondering why he wasn't panting and instead stood straight as though running with his size and condition was nothing out of the norm.

I averted my eyes then, and holy, was I glad I did, because I caught the exact moment his checks rosed up, and it must have been the most ethereal scene I've ever seen, not one picture I took compared to how soft he appeared in his flustered state. With his head tilted downwards in unmasked shyness, the way his golden locks dipped into his downcast eyes nearly creating a halo around him.

"I... got this fo- for you."

Fucking adorable. He stuttered. Stuttered. And I found that adorable.

When it repulsed me at other times. The bag slipped from his fingers into mine, then he was all in my space. And before I even processed it, his lips landed at my cheek, near my jaw, as he was too short to reach. And I wish my brain worked faster this one time. I could have had his lips on mine instead.

His warmth petered out from around me and when I looked up again, for the second time in a goddamn day, I saw was his back retreating back into the woodlands.

I glanced at the paper bag he handed me, the Pixie's logo slapped at the front. I blinked, confused. But then I opened the bag and I was even more confused.

"Huh. It's my exact order." I shrugged. Content to have something in my stomach today that I won't even question it.

A taste of his lips would have made it all the more better though.