Hallows: Pretty Snakes & Devils

I Don't Feel Better

Palaye Royale- Off With The Head

B.B.

Rage is a very consuming emotion. It's something I've struggled with most of my life. I've never really known how to manage it and even now, I've been using Eve's venom as an outlet. However, the only other person I know with a bottomless pit of anger is Carson Hayashi Kennedy and he is one of the sweetest guys I know. He's held me together on nights when I couldn't even breathe. This man channels all of that rage into his work and it says a lot because Car is only seventeen. Three months shy of eighteen and he's already accomplished more than most men can in a lifetime. His example is inspiring but I don't know how to be satisfied with my actions. None of it is ever enough.

Violence has always shamed me. I've always thought that I had control of this. That I could manage the way it came out. Through my work. Through my writing. Through hours of exercise or logging. It's all linked but lately, it's been overwhelming. I feel like I'm stuck in my head and all I can think is that he did this to me. Whatever his reasons were, he f*****g betrayed the little sliver of trust we were starting to build and the rage can only transfer into violence. Violent thoughts. Violent words. Violent s*x. And finally, Violent actions.

I'm not a big fan of guns. A sick part of me doesn't find it fulfilling in any way. Shooting someone from a distance is pathetic. There's no intimacy, no closure. A quick drawl does nothing to satiate the anger I feel inside. There's also the memory of me getting shot. The feeling of the bullets piercing my body, hot and lonely. It's really a stupid way to die.

The animosity between the hunters and us is obvious. We hate them and they hate us. They hate us enough to become the very things they swore to cleanse the world of. To change everything that makes them beautiful and powerful. They prefer to damn themselves rather than accept that we're not wrong to exist.

Now that, I can understand. It wasn't that long ago that I would have tried anything to be one of them. To rid myself of these things that haunt me. Things that changed everything I used to believe in. The only difference between us is that I came to terms with the fact that things aren't going to be what I want them to be. If it has to be us versus them, I choose to us and I know we're strong enough to make them a part of us. Whether it's the easy way or the hard way it's going to be up to them.

"Four teams of three," Carson instructs and gives us all an assignment. Victor and I are with him. Lucien. Dec and Ro are in another team. Delilah, Marco, and Ahsan. Stacy, Dylan, and Natalie.

Remy is standing in the opening of an alley staring back at me. Eve has been with me since our argument and has refused to acknowledge her in any way. I understand her position. f**k, I get it. Trust isn't something that I've ever struggled with but this is different. I've put my life in her hands repeatedly and I had refused to believe that she would let anything happen to me. It wasn't just me. It was my little eerie redhead I could have lost. I spent weeks blaming the fact that I hesitated to take him out. My compulsive need to do this the hard way finally caught up to me and it sucked.

I don't want to live like this. Guarded and paranoid. But how do I get over this? How do I move on from this without losing my mind? Chance hurt me and it's not like when the devils do it. This hurts as bad as it does when the crows hurt me. I expect it from the devils it's in their nature to be deceitful. Not the crows and I didn't think Chance would either. From the beginning, he's been straightforward with all of us. I never detected any lies, but as he stared back at me just before I lost it, I saw it. His guilt. He's a master liar and I don't know what to do with it.

"I'll take the high ground. You two stay low," Vic says taking a big case from the back of the Hummer.

"Here," Carson holds up an SMG and a couple of spare magazines. He tucks them into the pockets of my cargo pants. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nod making sure my gun is loaded.

He watches me making sure I do it correctly before he reaches for his own. While he prepares I check the guns in my holsters. I started off tonight in a great mood but seeing David defeated is getting to me. He's supposed to be the asshole that came into Hellourne to take out the Hell Stone once and for all. His guilt is eating him alive. How the hell does my dad thrive on that s**t? Tasting David's guilt is a lot like eating a ghost pepper with no chaser. I know it's the biggest reason why my father is completely in love with him.

"Their trucks are armored," Delilah's voice comes through the earpiece Carson put in my ear.

"Dylan," I crouch down.

"Jeepers Creepers time?" he laughs. I grin.

"Jeepers Creepers time," I confirm.

"What the f**k is Jeepers Creepers time?" Carson laughs.

"Just watch," Marco laughs. "You're going to love this,"

I reach into my utility belt and take the two porcelain ninja stars Dylan made. From the other side of the street, I see Dylan come out of the shadows. He grins and gives me a nod.

"Get ready," I tell everyone.

Four armored trucks are coming up the street here on the West side. They're headed for the borders. I look down at my watch to find there are only two minutes left in the cease-fire. Not that I care. f**k them. I don't see the difference between what they did to Vanessa and what Chance did to me. They served us up to death on a silver platter. My brothers could have died if it wasn't for the marks on their necks the same way I could have died if it hadn't been for Eve.

"Do we want one for questioning?" Stacy asks.

"You little shits were going to f**k s**t up without me?" Liam jumps down by Stacy's team. "Over my dead body, peep squeaks. Van didn't deserve this,"

"Just Vanessa's father," I answer. "Everyone else is up for grabs,"

"We're starting s**t with everyone," Delilah laughs. "Let's f*****g do this,"

"B.B.," Dylan gives me a nod. "On three,"

"One," I whisper.

"Two," he laughs.

"Three,"

The two of us rush out from the alleyways. I throw my first star getting the front wheel of the first truck. I jump up using my claws to crawl up the side of the empty warehouse. Three trucks swerve around. I reach the top of the building and wait for them to come out. As soon as one of the doors is opened I throw the second star. One of them cries out and falls out of the truck with the star embedded in their forehead.

I tuck the SMG under my arm and aim it at the cars. The doors open and they open fire. I watch as the others come out and start lighting up the street. The building shakes as Eve makes her presence known. I jump down on her head as she passes by. I crouch down on her holding my hands out in front of me using my bubbles. I push them under the trucks flipping them over to remove their cover.

"On the snake," someone calls out. My spear materializes as one of the hunters rushes in my direction. He pulls a grenade out and throws it at me. I flip the rod of my spear and swing it hitting the grenade like a baseball.

"Let's go, Baby," Carson laughs. The grenade goes off as soon as it hits the hunter in the chest.

"Snack time, Eve," I call out.

Eve doesn't hesitate to charge. Her mouth opens up and clamps down on the first hunter she reaches. They open fire on her. The sound of their bullets bouncing off her scales sounds like shattering glass. I extend my spear and hold it out as she slithers past four of them. The spear cuts through them with ease. I jump off of her letting her take off. I rotate my spear getting their filthy blood off the blade.

"Retreat," someone shouts. On the other side of the street, I see a man I recognize right away. Vanessa's father. "Get back!"

"You don't deserve to call yourself a father!" I shout. He freezes and turns back to look at me."You didn't deserve her,"

"f**k you, you f*****g abomination," he calls back and pushes some of the remaining hunters ahead of him. "You're everything we knew you would be,"

"Oh, yeah," I laugh. "Everything and so much more,"

I lift my spear and launch it in his direction. Just as it reaches him someone pushes him out of the way and the spear pierces them through the center of their chest. I raise my gun and open fire on all of them. Some of them go down but he doesn't. I toss the gun aside to take my heated blade out from under my vest and press the button. He's not going to get away from me. I run after him despite Carson and Victor calling me back to them.

"I killed her," he taunts me when I get close enough. He's holding a gun similar to the one David gave my father.

"I know you did. She suffered,"

"Good. She was a traitor just like Helsing. She was stepping down," he shouts holding his gun up and aiming it at me.

"I hope she tears your f*****g soul apart, motherfucker,"

He fires just as I drop low and swing my katana upward. He screams when my blade slices through his arm. Someone calls out to him when I kick his gun away from us.

"Master Sargent!"

I pull my gun and aim it at them.

"Get the f**k out of here," I growl. It's Brennan. She holds her arm out stopping the three others behind her. "Now before I change my mind,"

"Let him go, B.B. He's my father," she shakes her head.

"You people killed mine," I scoff. "I am never going to let that go,"

"B.B.," she shakes her head and rips her mask off her face tossing it aside so that I can look at her.

"Get the f**k out of here, Brennan," I scream. She flinches pushing the others back.

"Kill her," her father shouts. "Kill her, Bren!"

"You can try," I smile at her. She looks between me and her dad. "He killed her, Brennan. He poisoned her. There was no reason for her to have died," I toss her the USB I saved her information in. "She would have been happy here. She was happy,"

"You don't know that,"

"I do," I step down in her father's stumpy arm making him cry out. "Van was the kindest person I'd ever met. Not once did I ever suspect she was one of you. She would come over and check on me. She would tell me stories about my parents. Her soul was warm. Loving. She would have made an excellent mother and this sick f**k," I stomp on him again. "Took that from her. Leave or die with him,"

"Shoot her, Bren," he shouts. "f*****g shoot her!"

The woman looks down at her father and then lowers her weapon. He cries out to her as she turns his back on him and pushes the others away from me. Carson and Victor catch up to us. I look down at Vanessa's father and smile. His eyes are wild with fear as he looks up at the three of us.

"You know, I didn't think I was going to like killing all of you this way. I mean there was no real point to it. There isn't. It's just mindless killing. I don't enjoy it but this," I lift him up to his feet and push him towards the guys. "This I am going to enjoy,"

"f*****g monsters," he spits at us as the guys push him toward the alleyway we came from.

"What do you want to do with all these bodies?" Marco asks.

"Leave them. The fringe or the other hunters will come for them," I shrug. "They can rot here for all I care,"

I place my foot on the body my spear went through and grip the rod with both hands to pull the rod out. The body twitches and blood bursts out of it with a disgusting squelching sound. This didn't help what I feel inside in the slightest. If anything I feel much worse because what I just did isn't any better than what they've been doing to us for centuries.

"I'll meet you guys at the house," I tell Dylan and Delilah. They both nod and motion me to go back to the Hummer. I pop us back to the house. Victor takes the hunter to the box in my lab.

"You're on edge," Carson stops me from marching inside. "That didn't help,"

"I don't know what will," I admit. "Let's see what we can get out of him. See if he knows anything about David's aunt,"

"Okay,"

"There's something I want to try. I could use your help. You're kind of the expert," I smile at him. He laughs.

"You want to try compulsion? I thought you weren't interested in that,"

"I'm not, but that man is a lot like the other headhunters. He's not going to tell us anything useful unless we play dirty. We need to find the other Helsings. I want to know what they did to get the boys like that. What they did to Van should have killed them as well and they're fine. They're growing at a steady pace. There's nothing wrong with them, Sweetie. That's not normal,"