Hallows: Pretty Snakes & Devils

She's Me

Godhand- Constant State of Worst Case Scenario

Carson

Jimenez is pacing as B.B. gets ready in our room upstairs. He's nervous about us going out this way. Hunting rarely ever involves guns and protection. Especially since B.B. learned to control her Reaper. It's honestly taken the fun out of a lot of things. But this is different. This is personal. f*****g hunters have had it coming for years and B.B. has been under a lot of stress as of late. So much that's she letting Eve bite her more than she ever has before. Numbing the rage is something she reserves for straightening souls out not killing them. As of late, reformation hasn't been on her mind. Not the way it was when we went after the dead jock squad.

"Do you guys want to see something cute?" B.B. rushes into the library. We all turn to face her. "Pink," she laughs and opens her jacket to reveal a pink vest and pink holsters. The butts of her guns have cute pink charms on them. "I told you I could make my accessories cute,"

"You did," I laugh. "I also told you that it would make you stand the f**k out,"

"Ah," she points at me. "Someone take a picture,"

"What?" Dec laughs.

"Take a picture," she jumps up and down excitedly. Lucien takes his phone and snaps a picture of her.

"What the f**k?" he laughs. He turns the screen over to me. Not only does the light make it hard to see her face but the color of the vest shows up blue.

"Super pretty reflectors and they work in all lighting," she does a little wiggle dance.

I want to be worried about this behavior but her happiness is contagious. Her laughter, her smiles, and the genuine excitement in her eyes. How can I say no to that? Why would I shut it down when her usual setting is crying? She's coming into her own.

"Are you okay?" Jimenez asks her. Everyone looks over at us. B.B. is changing. I don't think it's a bad thing. Not with everything that's happened and everything coming our way. We all need to be mentally prepared for it.

"What do you mean?" she asks fixing her jacket.

"A couple of weeks ago, you were really upset that we were killing hunters coming in through the East and now you've tagged about forty of them and we're going on a goose hunt. Maybe the others don't care about this drastic change but I want to make sure you're okay. That this isn't going to f**k you up more than it should in the long run,"

"B?" Lucien looks over at her. "Is there something you want to tell us?"

"I didn't think you guys would be opposed to this," she says rocking back and forth in her combat boots. She looks over at me with my favorite evil little smirk.

"We're not, but he has a point, B," I scratch the back of my ear. She looks down at her watch and nods before waving her hand telling us to stay put. She runs into her lab and comes back with a big sketch pad and some files. She places the pad on the table and holds up one of the folders.

"These are Vanessa's medical records," she says.

"Why do you have those?" David puts his hands on his hips. "The funeral home told me, you and that f*****g little weirdo asked to see her remains,"

"Right and the best they could do was give us some pretty cool scans," she laughs. "Okay, so maybe I lied when I told you that it was better for Van to be out of the way. I couldn't drop it and Damian brought me a couple of his cartilages and this super cute pink and gold battery last night. We kind of started talking about Van. He told me that he couldn't believe she died this way and I said, me too. Then he started talking about her hips and her body shape.

"And I was like I have no idea what the f**k that means but I found it interesting. So, we broke into her computers and he was right. Vanessa is one of those women who could probably have a huge family. You know like the East Side ladies who have like eight kids and they're all only like a year apart? This shouldn't have killed her," she hands him one of the folders. "Look at this.

"From the samples you got me I found penicillin in her bloodstream. Now to most people that's not uncommon but it is to f*****g pregnant lady and Van is allergic. Since birth. It wasn't given to her during her C-section. She ingested it before going to the hospital. That's not the only thing I found. I found levonorgestrel,"

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's a progestin. It's what the morning-after pill is made of. It was a really high dose which is probably what sent her into labor. What happened?" she asks him.

"Liam and I were doing a sweep of her office. Someone had broken in. She was alone for about an hour and a half before she called me. She was freaked out. When I got there she was bleeding and she was barely coherent. We took her to the hospital immediately. If something had been wrong with her, they would have told me," David shakes his head. "Why was- Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she nods. "I ran the tests here in my lab. Damian and I were high but it turns out we work better when we take the emo s**t out of the equation,"

"I don't-" he shakes his head.

"It was them," B.B. says looking down at the sketchbook. She opens it up and shows him a drawing. He takes it and looks up at her.

"What is this?" he asks her. "I didn't know you could draw,"

"Not people, David. I'm good with shapes and blueprints. Grim drew that. That's his feed of choice. It's his curse. Mine is Mercy and his is maternal agony. He said that it was strong and that her soul cried out so loud that it woke him up. He was in Seattle. When he heard that she was your wife he called me. He was in the middle of drawing her. He had been drawing her for days," she flips the big pages to show him more pictures. In some of them, she's pregnant. In others, she's not. "When a soul cries out like that, it's kind of a banshee effect. It calls out to death to save it. Kind of like your soul does for me. I can choose to help or just take it away. By the time he got there, she was already dead and he had no choice but to reap her. He didn't know she was one of ours,"

"Why didn't you show me before?" he looks up at her.

"This happened last night and you had a lot to deal with. The press, her family, and the stress of hunting marks. I didn't want to make things worse. I still don't. I just wanted to show everyone that I'm doing this because I need it. We all do. I want them to help me do this so we can practice working in teams,"

"Thank you," he nods.

"Since we're all here," she adds. "I think I should put the mark back on David,"

"What?" half of us growl at her.

"Hear me out," she laughs putting her hands up defensively.

"You better be f*****g joking," Dylan shakes his head.

"He'd fully belong to me," she shrugs. "A lot of people want him dead. Including my parents and Chance. It wouldn't be the rune of absolute obedience this time. It would be the rune of devotion,"

"Wait," David shakes his head. "Why devotion?"

"Devotion would mean you can't betray us anymore. Not just me. Any of us. You'd be devoted to protecting us and the boys. You'd still be your normal douchey self. They wouldn't be able to control you anymore. I wouldn't be able to control you. You'd just be the greatest dad in the entire universe. Dante Blackstone two point oh. All that aggression and suicidal s**t will all just fade away. Maybe not fade away, but it definitely wouldn't be your main priority. I have the journal it explains everything," she says and takes it out from inside one of the folders. "It would be your choice.

"I don't want to give you up, David. Not like this. You have been through a lot and I'd like to give you the death you deserve because you deserve something grand. Your death needs to mean something. Everything you've done needs to mean something. To us and to everyone you've killed. Otherwise, it would be a mindless slaughter. Legendary only to those who worship the mechanics of mindless killing. Like Dahmer and Manson. You'd die the same way your family has. That's not the example my brothers deserve. You owe all of that,"

"B.B. I hear what you're saying but if you continue to insist on keeping me alive, Chance isn't going to forgive you. There are other ways to punish you. Maybe you're right. He's not going to hurt everyone in hell. But he can take the guys from you. He can take Delilah back and put another demon in her body. There are plenty of things you can lose and for what?"

"He knows he'd lose his leverage over all of us if he did. This thing between us is- I don't know. He doesn't want to admit that he feels anything. He doesn't want to heal. He wants to remain angry and keep the path in front of him. He knows if he lets us in, Lucifer and the throne aren't going to matter anymore.

"Tony said that hell has been run through intimidation and fear since Hades stepped down. Chance wants to prove to his father that he's bigger and scarier and letting go of that is not an option for him. That's like me wanting to be a better Black Death. I'm not. I'm nothing like my dad. I'm Merciful Death. Chance isn't Lucifer and he doesn't want to look soft so he's lashing out,"

"It's not up to you to fix that. Especially when you have so much to lose," he argues. B.B. always sees s**t the rest of us really want to ignore.

"Maybe, but I don't see anyone else looking out for him. Everyone has labeled him the enemy including us. He's completely isolated. Just like we were and we look like the assholes now because we're trying to get everyone to see that we can be assets if they just let us show them what we've got. He's not going to hurt us, but he is going to try and take a shot at you. I need you to be protected,"

David takes the journal and nods. This entire thing has always been black and blue for me. Chance left B.B. and Stacy out in that jungle. That's not something any of us can just forgive him for. I'm with B.B. on this one. He needs to learn that he can't treat her that way. Any of us. They could have died. It's clearly hurting B.B. deeply. She's been on edge since she's returned. If Eve's presence isn't enough proof of that, I don't know what is. I regret setting the rules I did because now that we need to be close, she's compartmentalizing all of us. Keeping her individual relationships separate is becoming a problem. It was selfish. There are eight of us and it's starting to look like we're going to be a part of him just as we are a part of each other. She can't handle this on her own.

"None of that answers my question, Bonita," Jimenez takes the files out of her hand and tosses them on the table. "I want to know if you're okay,"

"Ro, I-" she looks up at him and then scans the rest of us. "No, I'm not. But I want to be. We need to fix some of this stuff. We need to show them that we're not f*****g around. I need this. Between my parents, Chance, and the hunters I feel like I'm suffocating. Tomorrow is Monday and I want to spend it sitting around the pool with all of you guys half-naked being assholes the way all other normies our age do it. But tonight, I need to let go,"

"One last question," Victor raises his hand. "Remy. What the f**k is going on with her?"

"Okay, if I tell you guys this. Do you all promise not to freak out?" she asks worriedly.

"I'm already freaking out," Delilah raises her hand.

"Me too," Stacy adds.

"Just tell us," Dec encourages her.

"She's me," she says looking down at her hands. "The me that died the night I was born. The part of me that fully belongs to Chance. The me that was supposed to be by his side. It's why she looks like me. Why there are times when I don't know if it's me or her doing what I do. She's the darkness inside of me. The demon that should have been Belladonna Blackstone from the start,"

"How is that possible?" Delilah asks. "How do you have two souls?"

"I don't. I mean not really. Remy isn't a soul she's a demon. She's lived in Hell from the moment I died. What he did was recreate the human part of my soul with the sacrifices my dad provided. He gave it power and up until Remy woke up I was basically Belladonna Villanueva. No Reaper. No Snake. Eve is actually the black mamba inherited by my Phantom lineage the same way you inherited grandma's viper,"

"What about the Reaper?" she asks.

"We both have the personalities for it. At least, we did. Before you died, it could have been you. But because Remy exists the way she does, I got it. It could have been both of us if Dad had not sold his soul. You'd probably have inherited the Black Death. It doesn't matter. The fact is that Chance has a strong hold on Remy. The same way the guys have over me and he took advantage of that. He took advantage of us,"

"How do we help you?" Vic asks.

"You don't," she cups her face. "You can't. This is something only Merciful Death can do. I need to change his mind or when we die and he takes our souls as sins, we're all f****d. Not just us as individuals, but everyone. Humanity, Hell. and Heaven. He'll burn it all down just to prove a point,"

"You don't know that," Dec shakes his head.

"Yes, Hun. I do. I know he will because that's exactly what I'm doing. What we're doing. Except he's going to be doing it for all the wrong reasons. He doesn't want to save anyone. He doesn't want peace. He just wants to make himself feel better. He doesn't care if he destroys us all in the process,"