Behind the lies

sitting in my room, on my laptop playing my favorite game The sims 3. like most teenagers my age you could always find a dirty bowl and dirty cups laying on the floor of my room. my room was pretty basic, usually most teens would have have a room that matched their personality but my room was cream walls , nothing on them no poster's, plain colored single bed sheet's and drawers and a wardrobe, the window had a red blackout blind the only living thing in the room was a bamboo plant in a blue pot that i had been growing. even my carpet was plain beige. it wasn't like we just moved in we had been in this house for 4 years. "Jane?" "Jane?" the voice of my mother shouting from downstairs, "What?" i mumbled  i knew she wouldn't hear me especially with my door closed over i bought myself at least another few minutes of gaming before getting nagged by my mum. i could hear her foot steps climbing the stairs muttering swear words. i knew she wouldn't be happy climbing those stairs. the door opened i looked up "why didn't you answer?" my mum said "I did twice" (i lied) "do you have any dirty dishes in your room?" "yes" i said # dragging myself away from my laptop i got off the bed and picked up the dirty dishes in my room and handed them to my mum "for f**k sake" she let out "i was looking for spoons" she continued. i shrugged. she took the dirty dishes and walked out. i closed the door behind her and sat back on my bed. shutting off the laptop, i took a deep breath in the stale smell of the room i decided to open the window. behind my parents house was a big open field i could see kids my age playing football with all their mates. i hated football. i could never understand what was so great about kicking a ball around in the dirt. yet i found myself Envying all those other kids outside a slight feeling of jealousy stabbed me in the gut. I wasn't normal, i didn't feel normal. yes i was the same height as every teenager my age i have brown hair, and brown eye's i was even blessed with clear skin. i was paler than most girl's my age but that was because i hardly go outside and when i did i would always wear jumpers covering my arms. i was ashamed of my weight, i wasn't the biggest girl but i was still over weight. But this wasn't my only problem. i was so shy around people that i didn't know how to act or what to say. the reason i wore the jumpers was because of anxiety i had a sweating problem which even with deodorant on was useless. i didn't wear perfume because i found the smell to cause me to be sick. and Make-up was a no no. Not that i wasn't curious about make-up but with having anxiety i didn't want to wear make up around my parent's. Not that they would of bothered, it's not like i am a only child i actually have two big sister's and a little sister and a big brother. I WAS just the odd ball of the family. i had a phone a LG Ks360 slide phone. i got it for my birthday last year. i begged my mum for this phone it was so stylish. yet lately i have been wondering why i asked for a phone. apart from phone calls from my parent's im lucky enough if i even get a text back from my best friend Roxanne. ROxanne was the total opposite of me. She was allowed to dye her hair blonde. she has grey colored eye's and very skinny she often wore a lot of make up. she was totally popular at school she was with a different boy every week, her mother let her stay out where and whenever she wanted. smoking, party, drugs. she was into it all. i always knew she would only speak to me when she could be bothered or when she needed to look good in front of people and by people i mean boy's. i tried desperately to fit in. i even took up smoking. i remember my first cigarette  i honestly threw up everywhere it was so bad the brand was Mayfair. you would think that would be enough to put me off smoking but nope. i was so desperate to fit in i got passed the sickly feeling. Monday. -  dreaded Monday. i was only 15 and had school. that morning i got up, brushed my teeth it was weird trying to get used to not having braces anymore i only got them taken out last week least i could smile without being embarrassed or worry about having food stuck in my teeth. i had a shower and got ready into my school uniform i always wore trousers, a shirt and school hoodie. the actual school uniform code was a skirt for girls but my mother had loud words with the deputy head about this knowing how uncomfortable  i was to wear a skirt. so now i don't get pulled up by the deputy head teacher anymore. my younger sister Claire she is only eleven month's younger than myself and is a total stunner. she is skinny a little shorter than myself has lots of friends very popular girl she also has brown hair and brown eye's she wore makeup and skirts to be totally fair she looked good in everything. we don't have the best relationship but she's still my baby sister. she is in third year of high school, i am  in 4th year. my last year of school once i turn 16 in November i will be gladly leaving school i have been up since 5am thanks to my mum , both my parent leave at this time to head to work leaving myself and claire at home alone. our older three siblings all moved out years ago, it was so ironic my mum and dad bought this four bedroom house so we could have more space but my three older siblings moved out the family 3 bedroom house we had before we even got a chance to move into this bigger home. the bright side is we got our own rooms. the only thing that had me annoyed was the fact claire got giving the second biggest room whilst i got a smaller room. but my mum was always like that it's no secret claire is and will always be my parent's favorite child because she's the baby. "Are you ready to go?" i shouted up to claire who was still upstairs "in a minute just putting my coat on" she shouted she came down the stair her hair all straightened and her bag over her shoulder. "your not straightening your hair?" she asked me "no i have brushed it just not straightening it" i said feeling embarrassed. she scoffed  "okay" she said we got out the door and i locked it behind me. we both walked together until the traffic lights "okay i will see you later then jane" she whispered.   she moved away from me and greeted her friends ignoring me as if i were a total stranger. i didn't say anything to her. in fact i was used to this every morning she would ditch me for her friends. i knew she was embarrassed about being seen next me. i didn't hold it against her after all i was the embarrassment. i kept my head low when walking emerging with all the other school kids as the huge crowd of Mearadale high school lots of other students walking with their friends, laughing and chatting. it filled me with sadness just how lonely my life really was. Walking up to the school entrance i could feel it my soul dying i truly hated this place. the only thing that kept me going was the fact a few more months until my 16th birthday i would be free of high school. i could even choose to live with my grandmother my mum's mother 5 hours away from Mearadale least then my life will be ordinary, mearadale wasn't an ordinary town in Scotland. it was territory of Alpha Malcolm Mcintosh and his Luna Chrissie Mcintosh they are strong couple i actually go to school with their two twin son's  and their daughter is my sister claires best friend, Alpha malcolm has many human's in his pack i am one my older sister Amy she is also a human my mother is also human. but my father and my brother billy my other older sister Kerry and my younger sister claire were all born as werewolfs. it's not uncommon especially since my mother is a human. it does happen. but alpha Malcolm does accept us but we always do get a choice , my big sister Amy the oldest of us all she choose to leave and is the now living in england. with her husband. she's got a great job and never ask's my parent's for anything i do truly miss her. i think she left because of the same thing i went through. usually the humans would go to school at other side of town East dale academy. mearadale highs school is a private funded school for all the wolf families. problem was my mother thought she was doing me a favour by getting me in this school at second year because claire was here by herself in first year. i had to leave all my friends at east dale now i have suffered daily since second year at school. Amy also got put in mearadale high school because my father being good friends with the alpha he pulled a few strings.  i took a breath in. ready to go into hell.