Chapter 1
Yes, weekends were those times of the week when she could finally see herself for who she really was. Away from the hustle and bustle of college on the weekdays. No lectures to worry about and some quiet time to try out new techniques she had learned in the past week, if any. Her dorm mate had quite nagged about her small way of living life, reminding her constantly of how boring and lonely she'd end up. She never went to frat parties on campus and really, she didn't care. But her roommate did.
“Why not try something different this weekend? Away from pastels and canvasses", she had said when they woke up earlier today.
The idea was dumb anyway.
“Why don't you go shopping as always? You know the better stuff and how to get larger-than-life discounts."
Her roommate waved away the idea, but not unkindly. Shortly after, her eyes shone like she had hit the jackpot. She sat up in bed, the sun behind her ears making them so red.
“Why not you go shopping this once?"
She had rolled her eyes. What worse lot could be cast for her today? She shook her head vigorously.
“I can't, Vieve. You know what a mess I am in public spaces. That's like a death sentence."
Her roommate rubbed her chin thoughtfully and then sprang to her feet, and began rummaging through her wardrobe.
“Let me get something nice for you to wear from my stuff.”
Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets.
"I'm a 6; you're an 8.”
"At least I'm not a 10. No one will know unless you tell them with your big mouth. And right, you have a rather queer way of being honest to a fault. Don't you see that as a problem?”
She had felt like her character was being questioned. Attacked without due cause. She decided to keep mute and every other question would go away. She'd just stick with what her socially acceptable roommate wanted. Did it matter anyway? She didn't even say a word. Genevieve stopped rummaging through her clothes and turned to stare at her, expecting an answer.
"Alright. I take your silence to mean a yes. Now look what I found!”
Genevieve was smiling anyway but she looked rather horrified. The gown was a mild turquoise color and it seemed rather suited for a ball or a formal party. She shook her head.
"Thanks, Vieve but I'd rather stick with my sweater and cargo pants.”
Genevieve's eyes went round with exasperation.
"You're impossible, Emma!”
Emma sat there on the bed, the blank look in her eyes not changing.
"Alright. You can go with your cargo pants but why not try a tank top in place of the sweater? You have a nice figure to flaunt but you barely dress to do so.”
Like she had any interest in that whatsoever. She reluctantly had a shower and got dressed. The orange tank top really went well with the black cargo pants but now, she thought of the perfect footwear. Genevieve came to her rescue with a pair of black strap sandals that had low heels.
“Elegant."
Genevieve looked her over and snapped her fingers.
“Right. Hair and light makeup."
The light made her relax. She didn't want to look like those girls on campus who always wanted to make a show of what she couldn't understand. Powder, lip gloss, and eyebrows. Hair wax, ribbons, and a swift pull-up. That was it. Even Emma couldn't help but admire her reflection in the mirror. Of course, she could look like this every other day of the week but she felt it was a bit too late for all of that.
“Thanks, Vieve", she said in a low voice, still checking out her looks from various angles. Everything was beautiful.
Genevieve handed her a list.
“There. To guide you through your shopping and help shorten your stay in the public space. Please stick to the brands I indicated. Some of them are running discounts today."
Emma took the list, nodding while she tried to go through it. Body bath tools and foodstuff, sanitary towels. Sanitary towels.
“Vieve, can I add some painting materials to the list? It looks quite boring. I might get some fruits too."
“Yeah, whatever. Now get going before it's too late. Most of them have limited stock at the mall."
Now here she was, standing across the street staring at the revolving doors of the mall. The first time she had come here, it was in the company of Genevieve and some other freshmen. She had felt quite odd, out of the circle. She finally made up her mind to cross real fast, not turning to exchange pleasantries or have a long look at anything or anyone no matter how compelled she felt. She remembered how a hulking guy had cornered Vieve when she lingered too long at a shelf. She's not the brawny type and doesn't quite have a loud voice.
Once inside, she walked straight to the section where she thought she could find all body care products. Soap. Why did Vieve specify goat's milk though? She wrinkled her nose as she tossed it into the trolley. She preferred bars anyway. Shampoo. Gentle on the scalp, she read off the label. These things were really what they were labeled to be. Just a marketing strategy. That was because the last time she had used the shampoo, it seemed to have a bit too much menthol.
“But what use is a shampoo without menthol?", Genevieve had asked, obviously in defense of her favorite brand.
She continued quietly through the mall, reading labels and cross-checking discount tags. Just to be sure she got the right thing for the right price else Vieve will have her eat her own tongue. But not literally. Not by any other means though. Margarine. La Roy wasn't available so she thought that just any brand would do. Margarine was still margarine, right? She stopped and hit the trolley lightly, almost acting out her thoughts.
“Hey. Need help with something?"
Six foot two inches or six foot four. Whatever. But definitely a six-footer. He wore a sweater but his body made it fit so snugly that she wondered what type of gown the sweater would make on her. She swallowed hard, feeling so irrelevant under his gaze. Somehow, she couldn't find her voice.
“Are you alright? You're breaking out in a sweat."
Emma shook her head and lowered her eyes, trying so hard to hide her embarrassment and clear her throat.
“I'm sorry. I mean I'm fine. I was just having a little conversation with myself."
The look his gray eyes gave her made her think twice about her reply. She tightened her grip on the trolley and pursed her lips for a while. Could this be some plan of Vieve's? She fought the urge to take out her phone and put a call through to her roommate. She'd rather explain to him that she isn't crazy, wasn't crazy, and had definitely never been in an asylum.
“I'm not crazy though."
Her brief but concise explanation carried her full meaning to this good-looking stranger. Do not stir up love until it pleases. She had had many Bible study sessions back in her teen years and most of them usually centered on that verse. He laughed lightly and bent slightly at the waist.
“I didn't say that.”
"Your eyes did anyway.”
She was surprised by her sudden boldness. Did I just sound too friendly?
"Looks like you've found your voice. May I know your name?”
Many thoughts began to run through her mind. Did Emma sound too regular and plain, perhaps shallow? April could make a nice name but what if they met somewhere else where she didn't happen to be by herself like now? What if people made fun of her because she lied about her name to some random guy at the mall? Would Vieve rule her out as being crazy? What, really, did she stand to lose?
“You're breaking out in a sweat again."