My Ex-Lover's Revenge

Chapter 3

Meredith had woken up very early. She sat in the living room with the lights out. This was one of those moments when her heart would ache like it would tear out of her chest on its own. The longing had returned. She wanted to be held by the strong arms of a man not birthed by her. She never let her son see her cry, let alone allow him to hold her. She just felt that that part of her life was strictly not any of his concerns. She sobbed silently, hugging herself like it would suddenly cure the loneliness she was stricken with.

Kevin tossed restlessly in bed. He had tried severally to ignore his parched throat because he didn't have enough motivation to step out to the kitchen and get some water from the fridge. But he knew one thing: if he didn't get some water right away, it'd feel like he'd burnt his throat badly. Reluctantly, he came out from under the covers and set both his feet on the wooden floor. Luckily, it wasn't as cold as he thought. He turned on the lights and stepped out of his room onto the corridor. Just a few more steps and he'd be in the kitchen.

Meredith heard her son's door open and close. She quickly wiped her face. For most nights when she sat here in the living room to bemoan her unhappiness, he never came out of his room for anything.

“Jesus Christ, Mom!"

Meredith managed a short laugh.

“I'm sorry, Kevin. I didn't mean to scare you. I couldn't sleep so I came out to the living room to pass the time."

Her voice was hoarse from all the silent crying.

“Why are you up so early?"

Kevin grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge and turned the living room lights on. He joined his mother on the settee. He handed her one bottle and began gulping down the other.

“I came down for some water. Had a parched throat in my sleep. Did you?"

Meredith shook her head. For a while, her gaze was fixed on her son and he in turn looked at her without saying a word. Kevin observed his mother. If he was ever going to get any satisfactory answer to all his questions as regards her effect, now was the time.

“Mom, do you ever feel sad?"

Meredith was shaken by the question. Shaken because she had never anticipated the question or thought he would have the brawn to voice it. Or maybe she thought he only imagined her to be hermaphrodite, able to impregnate herself. Bringing her mind back to the present and her son's question, she nodded slowly.

“But you never show it. I've never for once seen you break down, even in the slightest way, over anything."

She chuckled awhile. She ran the fingers of her right hand through his hair.

“That's what years of looking out for yourself and a little man does to you. I had to be strong for you, Kevin. I don't know if seeing me cry always would have affected you negatively in your early years."

She paused and let a light sigh escape her lips as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“I didn't want you to think that our situation was totally hopeless. See how far we've come. We're off meal tickets and you went all the way through high school. I had to be strong to work that hard."

Kevin reached out and rubbed her shoulder, trying to soothe her.

“But you don't have to work that hard anymore. I'm here now."

Meredith smiled sadly as he kissed her hand and placed it reverently on his forehead. She looked at him again. Her little baby boy is now a young man. A hardworking one at that. He had inherited his father's bone-chilling grey eyes, her teeth, and dark hair. She reached out and touched his face. He was beginning to grow stubs. Would they be in the same pattern as his father's?

“Do you ever wonder if you have a dad?"

Had would have fit better in that question but she let "have" be. He was of age now and was able to decide what extent to which the whole concept could hurt him.

“Yes. But I always push it to the back of my mind. Since you never mentioned him, there was no way I could bring him up in our daily conversations. And we are doing fine without him."

Meredith’s eyes shone as she admired her son's resilience. He'd known all this while but repressed his curiosity because he didn't want to cause her any pain that could easily be avoided.

“You've known this whole time?"

Kevin chuckled.

“How could I not? I'm not dumb, Mom. I've seen you fight so hard to remain strong. All these years and you still aren't tired of fighting."

A tear escaped her eye and she looked at her feet, sniffling.

“It only gets harder, Kevin."

“Why don't you consider remarrying? It's not like my father would come back for you anyway. You need to be happy with someone you trust, and who can take care of you."

Meredith laughed dismissively and gave him a playful slap on his thigh.

“My baby…that's too much. I feel it's too late already. No virile man out there would want to settle for and with a hag like me. They'd go for the younger ladies.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what you feel or what you think?”

"Both, Kevin. It's just that I feel more lonely these days.”

She paused as if hoping that her son would read her meaning. Kevin eyed her suspiciously. She had brought up the topic of wanting grandkids once and it didn't go well that day. He hoped that she would just let the matter slide.

"When do you plan to give me grandbabies? I'm getting old.”

Kevin rolled his eyes and threw his head backward over the settee. His guts weren't wrong after all.

"I don't feel ready for marriage yet, Mom, let alone parenthood.”

"I wasn't ready for parenthood when I had you, I had to start fighting for both our survival. That was the only way I could help myself stay useful. You hadn't left me; your father did. So I had to care for you.”