Detoxify

Chapter 12

Escape

Avery's Point of View

Dahil sa nangyari kahapon, hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako maka-get over. Like, hello? Ako na ang president ng Dance Club! Seryoso, it feels surreal pa rin sa akin kasi just a week ago, iniisip ko lang kung paano maka-survive sa mga majors ko tapos ngayon, I'm suddenly carrying the title of president sa isang org na kilala sa buong Hendrix University.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung matutuwa ba ako o matatakot. On one hand, proud ako kasi I worked hard din sa audition and I know I have the skills. Pero on the other hand... pressure ito, mga teh! As in, kailangan ko nang mag-step up hindi lang as a dancer, pero as a leader na may sense of direction at hindi puro pasabog lang sa stage.

Seryoso, hindi ko pa yata fully naiintindihan kung anong responsibilidad ang kaakibat ng title na 'yon. Hindi lang ito tungkol sa pag-perform; this means coordinating schedules, talking to faculty, handling conflicts, at syempre, representing the club in front of the whole school. At alam niyo naman ako... minsan impulsive, minsan petty, pero syempre gusto ko rin naman maging maayos sa trabaho.

Pero eto, umaga na naman at may nakapatong sa katawan ko. At hindi ito metaphor lang, ha dahil legit na may mabigat sa dibdib ko na parang hindi ko na maramdaman ang ribs ko. Napakunot ako ng noo kasi parang hindi normal ang breathing ko sa bigat.

May kung anong bigat sa dibdib ko kaya napadilat ako. For a second, akala ko mantika lang ito ng pagtulog ko. You know, like kumot na nag-bundle sa 'yo nang sobrang sikip. Pero no. Mas mabigat siya, mas warm, at parang humihinga rin siya.

"Bwisit..." bulong ko, half-asleep pa pero ready nang mag-roll eyes.

Pagtingin ko, si Elliot! Nakayakap siya sa akin na parang unan. As in, hindi lang basta-basta hug; 'yung tipong possessive hug na as if may karapatan siya.

Literal. Na. Unan. Like girl, may pillow ka sa gilid, bakit ako ang napili mong gawing comfort item?

Parang sinanay niya na sarili niya na ganito matulog sa 'kin! Hindi ko alam kung ginagawan niya ito ng conscious effort o automatic na lang sa kaniya, pero grabe, parang muscle memory na niya ang yakapin ako nang ganito. May parte sa utak ko na hello, boundaries? pero may isa ring parte na nagpa-fast forward ng mga delulu scenarios ko.

Halos hindi na ako makagalaw. His arms were locked around me so tight na kahit gumalaw ako ng kaunti, mas lalo lang siyang dumidikit. Jusko, mapipisat ata ako sa sikip ng pagkakayakap niya. And don't get me started sa init ng hininga niya sa leeg ko dahil nakakakilabot pero in a way na hindi ko ma-explain kung bad or... medyo good.

"Amoy alak na naman 'tong lalaking 'to," reklamo ko habang pilit inaalis ang braso niya. As in, ramdam ko 'yung amoy na parang halo ng whiskey at beer, tapos may konting faint na scent ng cologne niya. Nakaka-confuse kasi kahit amoy alak, mabango pa rin siya in a way. Pero still, gross kasi madaling araw na!

Pero mas lalo lang niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap. As in tighter na parang wala nang bukas, parang gusto niya akong gawing human seatbelt. Kung may award sa clingiest sleeper, sure win na siya, walang duda.

Aysus Maryosep, para na akong lumpiang nabalot sa yakap. Like legit, kung may sauce lang sa tabi ko, puwede na akong i-serve sa buffet. Hindi na ako makahinga sa sobrang dikit niya! I swear, naririnig ko na halos ang heartbeat niya sa tenga ko.

Inatras ko ang katawan ko nang todo para maabot ang phone sa bedside table. 'Yung tipong stretch na halos ma-dislocate na 'yung balikat ko. Stretch pa more, Avery, you can do this! Nakakainis kasi kapag gumalaw ako, mas lalo niyang nilalapat 'yung dibdib niya sa likod ko.

Finally, nakuha ko rin. Parang Olympic win ang pakiramdam, swear. "Thank God, I got it." bulong ko, sabay silip sa screen.

4:00 AM. Ang aga pa, teh. Sino ba naman ang gumigising ng ganitong oras kung wala ka namang flight or emergency? For sure, hindi pa nagluluto si Edward ng almusal. And knowing him, baka tulog pa rin siya sa oras na 'to.

Kaya imbes na bumangon, pinikit ko na lang ulit ang mata ko, hoping to get a bit more sleep. Pero siyempre, hindi madali matulog ulit kapag may lalaking naka-kulong ka sa braso niya.

Pero bigla kong narinig, "You changed a lot."

Napadilat ako agad.

Si Elliot. Gising siya? Like, wait, anong ibig sabihin niya roon? Curious ako pero medyo kinakabahan din kung anong susunod niyang sasabihin.

Pagtingin ko sa kaniya ay nakapikit pa ito. Huh? Sleep talking ba 'to or pretending? Eh, hindi naman siya mukhang tulog kasi parang may faint smirk sa labi niya.

Tinitigan ko siya at doon ko lang talaga napansin... ay hindi! Lagi naman kase ata, ang gwapo niya. But this time, may something sa mukha niya na sobrang soft. Hindi ko alam kung epekto lang ng liwanag ng lampshade o ng alak, pero he looked like an angel. The kind na makikita mo sa perfume ads having flawless skin, perfect jawline, at parang may sariling wind effect sa buhok kahit wala namang hangin.

'Yung tipong mahirap paniwalaang tao lang siya. Like, seriously, unfair sa mundo na may ganitong klase ng mukha tapos personality... well, let's not talk about that part right now.

Over naman sa papuri, Avery!

May nakita akong maliit na speck sa pisngi niya, parang konting alikabok lang. Automatically, inabot ko gamit ang daliri ko para tanggalin pero bago pa ako makadampi, nagsalita siya.

"What exactly are you trying to do?" mababa at parang inaantok pa ang boses niya.

Nagulat ako at agad umatras. "Uh... you had something on your face. I was just—" sabay tulak ng bahagya para kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya.

"Hmm. My bad, didn't realize I was holding onto you," may kasamang half-smile na tipong alam niyang hindi talaga siya sorry.

Tsk. Okay lang naman... I guess? Okay nga lang ba talaga, Avery?

Tumayo ako para ayusin ang suot kong oversized cream knit sweater at black lounge shorts. "It's fine," sabi ko casually, kahit sa loob-loob ko ewan kung naniniwala ako sa sarili ko.

"You're up early," sabi niya habang tumutuwid ng postura at parang walang pakialam na ang gulo ng buhok niya. Pero somehow, bagay sa kaniya.

"Even I'm not sure why," sagot ko, trying to sound unaffected.

Then he tilted his head at me, his eyes catching mine. "So... am I that comfortable to hold?" The way he said it—low, teasing, almost like a challenge. Grabe, agad sumirit ang init sa pisngi ko.

"Ha? No. You're actually heavy," depensa ko, pero sablay kasi I could literally hear the smile in my own voice.

He raised a brow. "You're blushing."

Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko instinctively. Sh*t. Mainit nga. "I'm not—" sabay iwas tingin, praying na magpalit siya ng topic.

Tahimik kami pareho habang hawak ang kanya-kanyang phone. Pero alam mo 'yung feeling na kahit hindi ka tumitingin, ramdam mong may gumagalaw papalapit? Yeah, iyon. Unti-unti siyang lumapit hanggang halos magdikit na kami.

I turned to him. "What now?" kunwari deadpan tone, pero inside I'm already bracing myself for whatever stunt he's pulling.

He smirked. "Is it such a crime to sit this close?"

"Hm, no. But... you're in my space," sabi ko habang umuusog ng kaunti. But this man—walang effect. He just stayed there.

"Ayan, tell me—what time is it?" he asked, as if wala lang ang closeness namin.

I glanced at my phone. "It's only 4:20."

"Too early for breakfast... but perfect for coffee. Come to the garden with me," yaya niya in that calm-but-commanding tone.

"Tara," I said, standing up and heading downstairs.

"I'll follow. Go ahead, I'll make the coffee," he replied, glancing up at me with a small, soft smile.

And oh, my God. That smile. 'Yung tipong hindi mo alam kung na-imagine mo lang or deja vu kasi parang nakita mo na sa panaginip. Nakaka-disrupt ng system.

I stepped out into the garden and sat on one of the wrought-iron chairs, opening my phone to scroll.

Pero wala. I couldn't focus on the screen. Because honestly, that smile he gave me before heading to the kitchen? It's still replaying in my head... on loop.

Madalas kasi akong managinip na may isang lalaking kasama ko sa beach na hawak kamay, nakatayo lang kami sa buhanginan habang hinihintay ang sunset. Pero laging blurred ang mukha niya. Never ko ma-recognize. Ngayon, ewan ko ba, pero parang si Elliot 'yung nasa panaginip na 'yon. Jusko, Avery, you sound so delusional.

"Here you go," boses niya ang gumising sa akin sa sariling overthinking habang inaabot niya sa akin ang isang steaming mug of coffee.

"Thanks," sagot ko, trying to sound casual, sabay ngiti at kinuha ko sa kanya. Both of us took a sip at the same time, and the warmth hit perfectly—bitter, but just right.

"Ang sarap sa feeling, 'no?" he said, his gaze drifting upwards to the soft orange sky.

"Tama ka," I replied, following his gaze to where the early light was starting to break through the clouds. There was a certain stillness in the air, the kind na bihira mo lang maramdaman sa city.

"Sana ganito palagi..." dagdag niya, his tone softer this time.

"Yung 'di tayo nag-aaway?" I teased. That earned a small laugh from him, and we both chuckled like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It hit me na isang buwan na pala ako rito. Ang bilis. Parang dati, every conversation namin may kasamang sarcasm at pikon. Now, we could actually sit next to each other without trying to bite each other's heads off.

"Tsk. Hirap mo pa lang kausap," bigla niyang sabi, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I turned to him, brows furrowed. "And why is that?"

"Wala. Finish your coffee," he said, a faint smirk tugging at his lips before turning away.

I took another sip. It was still hot, the steam brushing against my face, but it was the kind of heat that blended perfectly with the cool bite of the morning air. My lips curled into a small smile until I noticed he was staring at me.

"Sarap, 'di ba?" he said. "Sarap ko talaga."

My head whipped to the opposite direction instantly, my heart doing that stupid little skip.

"I meant... the coffee I made," he clarified quickly, though I caught the way his ears turned slightly red. Uy, Mr. Elliot can actually look shy. Cute.

"May gusto akong itanong," I said, my tone more serious now.

He leaned back a little, meeting my eyes. "Go on."

"Do you think I'm pretty?" I have no idea why I asked that. Maybe it was the calm, maybe it was the coffee, or maybe I was just in that weird moment when you want to know exactly how someone sees you.

He was silent for a beat longer than comfortable. "I don't know. Maybe... not."

The "NOT" was sharp enough to stab my ego. My shoulders stiffened as I dropped my gaze to my mug. That stung more than I wanted to admit.

"But... yes," he said suddenly, almost like he regretted the first answer. "You are. Pretty, I mean. But in a way that's... simple. Effortless."

I looked up just in time to see him push himself up from his chair. He didn't give me the chance to respond and he just walked back inside, leaving me sitting there with the rising sun.

Kinikilig ba ako? Damn it, Avery, why are you smiling like an idiot?

I wrapped my hands tighter around the mug, savoring the last few sips. The horizon was glowing now, streaks of gold and pale pink spilling over the sky. The air was crisp, the kind that makes you want to take a deep breath and hold it in just to remember how it feels.

In that moment, I didn't care about the noise waiting for me inside, or the unspoken tension between me and him. I just wanted to freeze this morning—this quiet, unassuming peace where everything felt suspended, like nothing could touch it.

If only life could always be like this.

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng dorm, agad kong naabutan sina Edward, Tyler, at Tyron na nakaupo sa sala, parang may morning talk show na hindi ako invited. Lahat sila may hawak na kape, relaxed, at ang saya ng energy nila.

"Good morning, people!" bati ko, trying to match their vibe.

"Morning," simpleng bati ni Tyron, kasabay ng isang maliit na ngiti.

"Good morning, ganda," singit naman ni Tyler, may matching ngisi pa talaga na parang may ibig sabihin.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Thank you, pangit!"

Sabay sabog ng tawa ang tatlo.

"Biro lang, pogi!" dagdag ko agad, para hindi siya magdrama.

Tyler's eyes lit up like nanalo siya sa raffle. "Did you hear that, guys? Tinawag ako ni Avery na pogi!"

"Yeah, oo na. Congratulations," sabat ni Edward, halatang hindi impressed.

"Hi, Pres," bati ni Tyron out of nowhere.

"Pres?" kunot-noong tanong ni Edward, obvious na curious.

"Yeah. Si Avery ang bagong presidente ng Dance Club," sagot ni Tyron, parang proud pa.

"Wow! Congrats, ganda!" dagdag ni Tyler, sabay thumbs-up.

"Libre ka naman!" hirit pa ni Edward, parang automatic reflex ng barkada kapag may nanalo sa buhay.

"Fine, ako na bahala sa dinner mamaya," sagot ko na may tawang pilit pero excited din secretly.

"Good," ani Tyron, parang casual lang pero naramdaman ko na happy siya for me.

"Tsk, ikaw talaga!" biro ko sa kanya, sabay tawa ulit. The room was light, comfortable until...

"You look so happy," a voice cut through the air like cold water.

We all turned at the same time. Si Elliot. Nakatayo siya sa may hallway, one hand in his pocket, and may expression siya na hindi ko ma-figure out—parang half-smile pero hindi warm.

"Manglilibre kasi si Avery," sagot ni Tyron, trying to keep the atmosphere light. Pero ramdam ko na may bahid ng lamig ang ngiti ni Elliot, like he was holding back something.

"Okay," he said slowly, his eyes flicking to Tyron. "Hmm. Just... be careful, Tyron. Some cliffs look stable until you're already hanging by the edge."

Napakunot ang noo ko. What does that even mean?

I glanced at Tyron at nakita ko kung paano nag-shift 'yung expression niya, from amused to tight-lipped irritation. May spark sa mata niya na parang sinasabi, Seriously, dude?

"Avery, you should get ready. You still have class,," dagdag ni Elliot, his tone back to neutral.

Tumango ako, partly because I didn't want to witness round two of their silent war. I climbed the stairs, but a familiar presence followed.

Paglingon ko, it's Elliot. His steps were unhurried, but the air between us felt heavier.

"Bakit ganyan mukha mo?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. His jaw looked tense, and honestly, it was giving away na may pinipigil siya.

"Ano na naman 'yung kanina? Inaaway mo na naman si Tyron," dagdag ko, crossing my arms.

He tilted his head slightly, expression unreadable. "You call that picking a fight? Ikaw ba si Tyron? Bakit ka affected?"

That jab hit quick. "You do realize there's a way to be honest without making the entire room tense? Hindi kailangan laging may tension sa hangin. Basta, ayoko ng ganito. Ang awkward sa dorm kapag nag-aaway kayo," I said, keeping my voice level pero firm. I wasn't in the mood for another petty exchange.

"Eh 'di 'wag kang makisali. And you do realize you don't have to defend him every time I speak," he shot back, cold as ice.

I stepped forward slightly, not backing down. "I wasn't defending him. I was calling out behavior na pwedeng i-handle better. Pwede namang pag-usapan nang maayos, 'di ba? Hindi 'yung nagmumukha kayong magkakaaway sa iisang bubong. Nakaka-drain kaya 'yun."

His lips twitched into something between a smirk and a sneer. "Tsk. May gusto ka lang kay Tyron kaya pinagtatanggol mo. Or maybe you just like having him in your corner."

I froze mid-step.

Ang bigat ng sinabi niya at parang may tumama diretso sa dibdib ko.

Wait... what?

My thoughts scrambled. Did he really just say that? Out loud? And in that tone? It was both an accusation and a challenge, and hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong ma-offend, magalit, or...

Nope. Definitely offended. But beneath it, there was something else. Something that felt dangerously close to a flutter I didn't want to admit.