Detoxify

Chapter 11

Fading

Avery's Point of View

Dahil sa nangyari kagabi, literal na hindi ako halos nakatulog. As in, every time na ipipikit ko 'yung mata ko, bumabalik sa utak ko 'yung eksena. 'Yung bigat ng katawan niya sa akin, 'yung amoy niyang naghalong bar at mint, at syempre... that kiss.

First kiss ko 'yon, mga ate. FIRST. KISS. Like, do you understand how big of a deal this is? Hindi siya basta-bastang kiss lang sa random moment dahil ito 'yung tipong dapat cinematic, slow motion sa utak ko, tapos may invisible background music na parang OST sa k-drama.

Pero bakit siya? Bakit sa gulo ng lahat, sa dami ng possible na unang halik sa mundo, kay Elliot pa napunta? Oh my gosh, universe, what kind of plot twist is this?

Hindi ko rin alam kung seryoso ba 'yung ginawa niya o dahil lang lasing siya kagabi. Kasi kung lasing lang siya, edi wala lang sa kanya 'yon, tapos ako lang 'tong tuloy-tuloy na iniisip 'yung kiss na 'yon hanggang ngayon. Unfair much.

Pagmulat ko ng mata kaninang umaga, ayun siya sa kabilang kama at mahimbing pa rin ang tulog, parang walang ginawa kagabi na naka-shake sa buong emotional foundation ko. Nakalatag pa rin 'yung kumot niya, buhok niya ay medyo magulo, tapos mukha siyang anghel kung titignan mo. Pero alam ko, hindi 'yan inosente. Hindi ako magpapaloko.

Pinilit kong umiwas ng tingin. Ayoko siyang titigan nang matagal baka ma-hypnotize na naman ako. Bumangon na ako, dahan-dahang tumayo para hindi siya magising, at kinuha ko na agad 'yung tuwalya at damit ko para makalabas na.

Habang nagbibihis ako sa banyo, paulit-ulit sa utak ko 'yung tanong na shet, Avery... panaginip lang ba 'yon? O totoo talaga?

Bumuntong-hininga ako, inis na hinilot ang sentido ko. Alam kong totoo. Ramdam ko pa rin sa labi ko 'yung init ng halik niya. Jusko, 'wag na lang sana siyang magising habang andito pa ako.

Paglabas ko ng kwarto, diretso akong bumaba papunta sa kusina. Kailangan ko ng kape. Strong. Para mabura lahat ng kaganapan kagabi sa sistema ko o kahit bawasan man lang 'yung kilig na ayaw magpaalis.

When I got to the kitchen, I saw Edward busy cooking. He looked so focused, moving the pan like some pro chef, when he suddenly noticed me. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Good morning! You're up early," he said, almost suspicious, like it's such a rare sight.

I chuckled at his reaction. "Morning too! Oo nga, eh. I guess I couldn't really sleep well." I tilted my head, eyeing what he was doing. "So... what are you cooking?"

"Ahh, omelet and bacon," he replied with a small smile, the sizzling sound from the pan making the whole kitchen smell heavenly.

"Wow, that smells so good and mukhang masarap, Edward," I said sincerely, and he smiled wider, obviously pleased with the compliment. I smiled back before stepping away, deciding to go out for a short walk before breakfast. Maaga pa naman.

The cool morning air hit me the moment I stepped outside the dorm. I stretched my arms, letting my body wake up fully, then wandered a bit around the area. That's when I saw it, this tiny, ridiculously adorable puppy trotting aimlessly near the sidewalk.

My heart melted on the spot. It was a fluffy white Pomeranian, with the softest-looking fur and big round eyes that could make anyone say "Awww" out loud. The little fluff ball's ears perked up when it saw me, and to my surprise, it came running in my direction like we'd known each other forever.

"Hi, cutie!" I laughed, bending down to scoop it up. The puppy instantly relaxed in my arms, resting its tiny head against my hand as if claiming me right there and then. No one seemed to be looking for it, so I sat down on the bench right outside the dorm with the puppy on my lap.

I gently scratched behind its ears and it leaned into my touch, closing its eyes in pure bliss. My heart? Gone. Totally stolen.

"You are so, so cute," I cooed, almost in baby talk. Then my eyes caught the small silver collar around its neck. I held it up and read the little tag.

"Kiff," I read out loud. "Oh my gosh, ang cutie mo naman. Kiffy ang atake." I giggled, pressing my cheek against its fluffy head.

"Baby Kiff," I said in a sing-song tone, "I think we're gonna be best friends."

Habang nag-e-enjoy ako sa paglalaro kay Kiff, scratching his tiny belly, watching him wiggle his little legs like he's the happiest creature alive ay narinig ko ang isang boses ng lalaki na tumatawag ng, "Kiff! Kiff!"

Agad akong napatingin sa pinanggalingan ng boses, at halos mapahinto ang mundo ko for a split second.

Oh, my God. Si Kiefer.

He was jogging lightly toward us, slightly catching his breath, but still looking like he just stepped out of a lifestyle magazine shoot. White shirt, grey joggers, hair slightly messy pero in a good way, and that smile. Oh, that chill, mabait-boy-next-door smile.

"Thank God, I found you," sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin at kay Kiff, relief written all over his face.

"Hey, Avery, right? Thank you for keeping my dog," dagdag niya, sabay ngiti. And I swear, his smile was like... warm sunny mornings and overpriced coffee in hand kind of vibe. Grabe, ang gaan talaga ng aura niya. Parang ang sarap kausap.

"You're welcome," sagot ko, still holding Kiff like he's my own. "By the way, dito ka rin ba naka-dorm?" tanong ko, curiosity kicking in.

"Ahh, oo. Malapit lang dito, pangatlong street mula rito," sagot niya, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead.

"Nice! Malapit ka lang pala rito!" I grinned, handing Kiff back to him. "At least may bago akong kakilala rito."

Nagtawanan kaming dalawa, and for a second, parang ang gaan lang ng moment. No drama, no tension and just a simple, feel-good exchange.

"It's really nice to see you again, Avery," sabi niya, this time locking his gaze with mine.

Parang may double meaning. Or maybe my imagination's just overthinking again. Pero iba 'yung look sa mata niya, like he's hinting something more. Still, I decided to play it cool and kunwari dedma, kahit deep inside, medyo nag-echo 'yung sinabi niya sa utak ko.

"Kain na tayo. Pasok na!" biglang sabi ni Elliot, at halos mapatalon ako sa gulat. Hindi ko man lang napansin na nandito na pala siya sa tapat ng dorm, nakatayo at nakakunot ang noo. His voice was firm, bordering on uy-sinusundo-kita-kaso-galit-ako tone.

Halatang seryoso ang mukha niya at parang gusto na lang niyang kuhanin si Kiff at ibigay sa kamay ni Kiefer at itapon ako sa loob ng dorm para tapos na ang usapan. Out of instinct, tumayo agad ako, almost dropping the puppy in the process.

"Ah, sige, mauna na muna ako, Kiefer. See you!" sabi ko, forcing a smile kay Kiefer kahit medyo ramdam kong may weird tension sa paligid.

Kiefer, ever the gentleman, just nodded at me with that warm smile. "Yeah, see you around, Avery," sabi niya bago sumulyap kay Elliot na hindi man lang nagbaba ng tingin o kumurap. Yikes.

Naunang umalis si Elliot papasok sa dorm, and like the dutiful follow-the-leader girl that I apparently am, sumunod na rin ako sa damuhong 'to. His stride was quick, almost deliberately faster than mine, as if he was making a point.

"You don't have to do that," I blurted out habang sinusundan siya.

"Do what?" tanong niya na hindi man lang tumitingin sa akin. His voice was calm, pero 'yung calm na 'yon? Scary. Alam mo 'yung tipong I'm so not fine pero I will pretend I am tone?

"Tsk!" Napapadyak ako sa inis. "Hindi mo kailangang sigawan si Kiefer. Para tuloy bastos ang dating mo," sabi ko, crossing my arms like I was his strict professor calling him out in class.

Bigla siyang huminto, causing me to almost bump into him. He slowly turned to look at me, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw tensed. "Edi dun ka sa lalaki mong hinog," malamig niyang sabi bago siya tuluyang naglakad palayo.

I blinked, standing frozen for a moment. Lalaki ko? Wait, what?

"Abnormal ba talaga 'tong kurimaw na 'to?" I muttered under my breath, watching his broad back as he walked away.

Pero habang naglalakad kami papasok sa dining area, hindi ko mapigilang mapansin na masyadong tahimik si Elliot. Usually, he'd have some snarky remark at ready 'yung mga hirit niya na tipong nakakainis pero nakakatawa rin in a weird way. Ngayon? Wala. Zero. Silent treatment levels.

Umupo kami sa mahabang dining table. Edward was there, plating the omelet and bacon, looking all cheerful like it was the most peaceful morning ever. If only he knew.

"Morning ulit!" bati ni Edward sa aming dalawa.

"Morning," sabay naming sagot pero sa tono pa lang, ramdam mo na agad na magkaibang-magkaiba 'yung energy naming dalawa. Ako, trying to sound normal. Si Elliot, parang galing sa board meeting na may nalugi sa stocks.

Kumain na kami, and tapos na palang kumain sila Edward. Ganoon ba ako katagal sa labas? At ngayon napapansin kong si Elliot... hindi halos lumilingon sa akin. Parang lahat ng attention niya nasa pagkain niya lang.

And that's when it hit me, hindi kaya... nagseselos siya? Assumera much 'no?

I mean, hello, sino bang biglang sisigaw ng "Kain na tayo!" na parang nananakop, out of nowhere, habang kausap ko si Kiefer? Plus, that anglalaki ng hakbang niya at iniwanan ka sa corridor walk? Classic lowkey jealousy move.

Pero syempre, clueless pa rin kunwari ako.

"Elliot," I called out softly, leaning a little towards him.

"Hmm?" He didn't even glance at me.

"Are you mad?" tanong ko, testing the waters.

"Nope." Sagot niya, short and clipped, like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"Then why are you acting like someone just stole your toy?" I teased, my lips curving into a small smirk.

Finally, tumingin siya sa akin at grabe, 'yung tingin na 'yon? If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under.

"I'm not acting like anything," he said, pero halatang defensive. "I just don't like... people hanging around you."

I almost choked on my bacon. "Wow, and why is that, Mr. Enrique?"

He shrugged, looking away again. "Because some people... aren't who they seem to be."

Napatawa ako, pero deep inside, my heartbeat picked up speed. Was he talking about Kiefer? Was this some sort of lowkey confession or just him being a possessive weirdo?

"Don't worry," I said, poking my fork at my omelet. "I can take care of myself. I know how to spot a bad guy."

He raised an eyebrow at me, that half-smile playing on his lips again. "Oh really? And what if the bad guy is... me?"

My breath caught for a second. "Then I guess..." I met his gaze, forcing myself not to blush. "...I'd have to figure out why he's bad before I decide anything."

He smirked, clearly enjoying this little verbal sparring match. "Careful, Avery. You might not like what you find."

"Or I might," I shot back, surprising myself.

For a moment, we just stared at each other. Me, pretending this was all just casual banter; him, probably trying to read what was in my head. Wala ang tatlo sa hapag at naghahanda na para

Still, habang tinatapos ko ang pagkain ko, ramdam ko pa rin ang titig ni Elliot sa gilid ng mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong game ang nilalaro niya, but one thing's for sure... the guy was definitely jealous.

And maybe, just maybe... I liked it.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ni Elliot, umakyat ako sa kwarto para magbihis. Kailangan ko ring ayusin ang schedule ko for the day, pero somehow, parang ang bigat ng hangin sa pagitan naming dalawa mula kaninang breakfast.

Pagkababa ko, nadatnan ko si Tyron na palabas ng dorm.

"Musta na, Tyron?" bati ko, sabay ngiti. Medyo na-miss ko rin 'tong kausap dahil matagal-tagal din kaming 'di nagkaka-interact dahil sa kung anu-anong activities.

"Okay lang naman," sagot niya, diretso pero may kasamang maliit na ngiti.

"Bakit parang 'di ka namamansin lately, hmm?" tanong ko ulit, nakataas ang isang kilay.

Napakamot siya ng batok. "Masyado ka lang kasing busy, kaya 'di tayo nagkakausap. By the way..." May inilabas siya mula sa bag niya, isang makintab na gold ticket. "...nakuha tayo sa audition natin sa Performing Arts Dance Club ng school, 'di ba?"

Agad ko itong kinuha at binasa, eyes scanning over the printed words.

[Welcome to the Performing Arts Dance Club!

You passed the audition. We'll have a meeting this Saturday to vote for the new president. See you there, and congratulations!]

"Omg! Sana ikaw na lang ang mapili, Tyron. Ang galing mo kaya!" sabi ko, halos mapatalon sa saya. Napangiti siya, saka ginulo ang buhok niya na para bang nahihiya sa compliment.

"'Di naman. Mas ikaw 'yun. First time ko nga maka-encounter ng feminine dance style sa Hendrix University, lalo na't all-boys school ito," sagot niya, may halong genuine admiration sa tono niya.

Napatawa ako. "Oo nga, 'no? Pero ikaw pa rin dapat ang president. You're the best."

Nagkatinginan kami sandali bago kami parehong natawa.

"Tsk! Parang kayong dalawa lang ang tao dito, ah." Biglang boses iyon ni Elliot mula sa gilid, kaya napalingon ako. Nakatayo siya sa may pinto, nakasandal sa frame, braso'y nakacross at 'yung tingin niya? Classic I'm not jealous but I am look. "Lumakad na nga kayong dalawa, 'wag puro satsat," dagdag pa niya.

Napaka-hambog talaga ng ugok na 'to. Pero okay, aaminin ko... may konting kilig sa pagiging ganito niya.

"Ingetero. Palibhasa walang talent," bulong ko, sapat lang para marinig niya.

Agad siyang lumapit, may bahagyang smirk sa labi. "For your information, I'm the captain ball, not just in basketball but also the president in the sports club, too." May diin sa bawat salita, parang sinasabi niya na hindi lang ikaw ang may accomplishment dito.

Napatawa na lang ako, kahit gusto ko sanang mag-retort pa. Kasi alam mo 'yon? Hindi siya yung tipong magpapaapi sa banat mo, at 'yung confidence niya? Nakakainis pero at the same time... nakakatuwa.

Habang naglalakad kami palabas, naramdaman kong bumagal siya para makasabay ako. Hindi na siya nagsalita pa, pero 'yung presensya niya? Para bang sinasabi na kahit ilang Kiefer o Tyron pa ang kausapin ko... siya pa rin 'yung laging nandiyan sa tabi.

At doon ko na-realize na kahit gaano siya ka-hambog at ka-prideful, there's a part of me that likes seeing this protective, borderline-jealous side of Elliot.

⌞ Kinabukasan⌝

Excited akong gumising kinabukasan. Like, legit, parang bata lang na may field trip. This is the day na mamimili kami ng president para sa Performing Arts Dance Club. The moment I opened my eyes, parang lahat ng antok ko lumipad na. Nagbihis ako agad, and of course, dahil gusto kong magmukhang presentable pero comfy, I went for my cropped cream cardigan, high-waisted beige pleated skirt, and my white sneakers na sobrang linis pa and freshly wiped last night, thank you very much. Paglabas ko ng CR, ayun na naman si Elliot, natutulog pa rin, nakatagilid with one arm under his pillow, at parang sobrang tahimik ng mundo.

Hays... mukha talaga siyang mabait 'pag tulog. Like, kung hindi mo siya kilala, you'd probably think he's the sweetest guy alive. Pero alam ko naman na the moment magising 'yan, back to default mode niyang hambog, sarcastic, and annoyingly smug. Pero okay, fine, medyo cute siya tingnan ngayon... pero slight lang. Kaya binalewala ko na lang at hindi ko na tinuloy ang pag-stare sa kaniya, kasi ayaw ko rin ma-realize ng utak ko na may something charming sa ganitong moment.

Kumatok na lang ako sa kwarto nila Tyron. Hindi nagtagal, bumukas ang pinto at lumabas siya na bagong ligo, may patak pa ng tubig sa buhok. Ang linis niyang tingnan sa white oversized t-shirt na tucked in sa slim-fit black trousers, plus white sneakers na parang bago. May bitbit pa siyang maliit na black duffle bag, siguro andoon lahat ng pang-rehearsal niya. At grabe, sheesh, ang pogi rin talaga ng isang 'to mga ate! 'Yung tipong kung hindi mo kilala, maiisip mong model siya ng local men's fashion brand.

"Sasabay ka ba sa 'kin, Avery?" tanong niya, sabay ayos ng strap ng bag niya. For a moment, I swear, na-distract ako sa jawline niya na parang kayang maghiwa ng yelo.

"Uh, oo. Tara na, sabay na tayo," sabi ko nang mahimasmasan. Sinabayan ko siya palabas at habang naglalakad kami papunta sa hall, I could feel na parang both of us are lowkey excited. Siya dahil makikita niya 'yung mga kasama sa club, at ako... well, dahil big day 'to.

Pagdating namin sa meeting room, lahat ng club members were already there, seated in a semi-circle. Ma'am Jessica, our club adviser, stood in front, holding a clipboard. "Before anything else," she started, "let's talk about our expectations as Performing Arts dancers." Isa-isa kaming tinawag para mag-share. Sabi ng isa, gusto raw niya ma-improve ang technique niya sa jazz. 'Yung isa naman, gusto raw makasali sa national competitions. Ako? I said I wanted us to create performances that really tell a story na hindi lang basta steps and music, but emotions and meaning. Some wanted more exposure sa school events, others gusto lang daw mag-enjoy and make friends.

Na-excite talaga ako when Ma'am Jessica mentioned na as members, we're part of all official school events from opening ceremonies to inter-school showcases. Plus may chance din kaming sumabak sa regional and national competitions. Like, hello, big deal 'to. This isn't just some extra-curricular na for fun lang because this could actually put Hendrix University on the map for something other than sports.

After the expectations talk, dumating na ang nomination for president. Tahimik ang lahat na parang may silent tension kung sino bang gusto nilang mag-lead. Nagulat ako nang biglang magtaas ng kamay si Tyron, walang kahit anong pag-aalinlangan. "I nominate Avery for president," sabi niya, diretso at confident.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya, eyes widening. The way he said it, parang sure na sure siya na kaya ko. Pero bago ko pa masabi na hey, wait lang, may iba pang nag-nominate — si Angelo, 'yung isang magaling sa hip-hop section, nag-nominate kay Lucas, tapos may isa pang nag-suggest ng sarili niyang pangalan. So, tatlo kaming nominees in total.

Pagboto, lahat kami ay nagsulat sa maliit na card at inilagay sa wooden box na nasa harap ni Ma'am Jessica. Then we waited — mga five minutes lang naman 'yun pero parang ang tagal talaga. Alam ko naman na kailangan naming mag-elect ng officers ngayon kasi magiging super active na ulit ang club ngayong academic year. And it is a tradition na every year, bagong set of officers ang uupo para fresh ideas, fresh energy.

Honestly, hindi na bago sa akin ang mag-lead. Back in Grade 11, I was student council president, and kahit sa homeroom officers, ako lagi ang napipili. Pero iba rin kasi 'tong Performing Arts Dance Club. This isn't just leadership, this is creativity, representation, and pressure all rolled into one.

Pero habang naghihintay kami, bigla akong napa-what if. Like, what if ako nga ang manalo? I mean, freshie pa lang ako sa Hendrix University, tapos magiging president na agad ng isang established club? Baka isipin ng iba, wow kapal ng mukha or baka 'di niya kayanin. Paano kung mag-fail ako? Paano kung hindi magustuhan ng members ang style ko? Pero at the same time... what if kaya ko? What if maging sobrang solid ng performances namin under my lead?

My mind kept going back and forth. Excitement and doubt fighting in my head hanggang sa marinig ko si Ma'am Jessica clearing her throat, ready to announce the results.

"So, I think we have a new president. Congratulations to... Avery!" Sabay abot sa akin ng isang box. My hands felt cold as I slowly opened it. Inside was a beautiful yellow gold which I think will be our club uniform with matching shoes and it's shimmering under the room's lights.

"Ang kulay ng iba ay silver," paliwanag ni Ma'am Jessica, "pero ikaw lang ang naiiba dahil ikaw ang president nila."

Napangiti ako, my mind spinning with thoughts. This is going to be a crazy ride but in the best way possible. Leading dancers, handling events, competing... lahat ng ito, ready na ako. Or at least, I hope I am.