Detoxify

Chapter 17

Psycho

Avery's Point of View

Few weeks had passed since the incident that almost broke me. And honestly, parang every day after that felt different. Changed. Tilted. Off. I don't know if it's just me overthinking things which, let's be real, is my talent but I could feel it. The shift.

Edward and Tyron... they became overly caring, almost protective to the point na nakaka-weird na minsan. Every step I took, it's like they wanted to shadow me. Like kahit simpleng punta lang sa CR, someone would volunteer to walk me there. I mean, hello? Hindi naman ako bata. But at the same time, I couldn't get mad. Kasi deep down, I knew it came from a place of genuine concern. And honestly? It was sweet. Nakaka-flatter, kahit nakakailang.

Tyron especially. He had this quiet kind of intensity, like he was watching me all the time, not in a creepy way, but in a please don't fall again, please don't scare me again kind of way. And Edward? He was gentler than usual, softer even, almost like big brother vibes but with an extra shade of... something else. Something I couldn't name.

And then there's Tyler. Poor Tyler. Lagi na lang siyang napapakamot ng ulo, parang naiipit sa invisible competition happening right in front of him. It's like, every gesture of care from Tyron or Edward needed to be matched or outdone. And me? In the middle of it all, tanghaling tapat pa lang, I was already confused as hell.

Sino ba talaga ang pipiliin mo kung pareho silang sweet, pareho silang pogi, pareho silang may sariling charm? Jusko, Avery, ano ka, bida sa K-drama? Why does my life feel like a love triangle, or actually, a love square na sobrang messy? Oh, what a life!

But you know what's even worse? It's not even them that bothers me the most.

It's Elliot.

Ever since that day he saved me, parang biglang na-reset 'yung character niya. He wasn't the Elliot I knew. Not the annoying, arrogant, smug, and playful guy who always had something to say either a tease, a jab, or a random unsolicited comment about my hair or my shoes. No. He was different. Detached, distant and cold.

Parang wala na siyang energy to spar with me. Ni isang hi or pang-aasar, wala. And it wasn't just silence because it was deliberate silence. Like I was air. Like I was a ghost he could see but refused to acknowledge.

And that? That hurt more than I expected.

Because here's the truth... I didn't realize how much I'd gotten used to his presence, to his banter, to his irritating little comments, until it was gone. And now that it was gone, ang sakit. Like something inside me went hollow.

Was it me? Did I do something? Was he angry that I thanked him? Or was it the opposite? Maybe he hated that he had to save me in the first place? Maybe I became some sort of burden?

What if... what if I died that day?

What if he wasn't there? Would my parents have received a phone call in the middle of the night saying, "We're sorry, your daughter didn't make it"? My mom, crying in the kitchen. My dad, pretending to be strong but actually breaking down when no one's looking, and my brother is planning a revenge for whoever did bad to me.

God. The thought alone makes my chest ache.

And then my mind circles back to that mysterious guy. The one with the voice that felt so familiar, the one who whispered "don't panic" right before I blacked out. Who was he? Why did he sound like someone I knew? Bakit parang boses siya na narinig ko na somewhere, sometime, but I just can't put my finger on it?

What if he's connected to me? What if he's been watching me? What if... he's someone from my past? Or worse... what if he's someone closer than I think?

My head is a mess. Ang dami kong iniisip pero walang sagot. And the more I overthink, the more I feel like I'm drowning in questions na walang kasiguraduhan.

And Elliot? His silence doesn't help. It only makes me wonder more.

Did he distance himself because he knows something I don't? Or is he protecting me in his own weird way?

All I know is the more he ignores me, the more I feel his presence everywhere. And that's the cruelest part.

"Miss na kita, hambog ka," I whispered to the sky, lying on the grass at the school garden. The words just slipped out of my mouth, and it hurt because I realized I was talking to someone who wasn't even there. Elliot. Of all people. The one who refused to look at me lately, the one who built a wall so thick I couldn't even scratch it.

My chest felt heavy, but I forced a smile. "Ano ba, Avery? Drama queen much. You're talking to the clouds like some hopeless romantic na rejected sa pelikula."

But then—

"So? What do we have here?"

That voice. Pamilyar. Too pamilyar. I turned fast, almost choking on my own breath.

"Kiefer?"

And there he was, smiling like nothing in the world was wrong. "Yah, the one and only! Hahah!"

My brain glitched. Wait lang. Kiefer? Here?

"You study here?" I asked, though obvious naman. His uniform screamed Hendrix U.

"Yeah, as you can see," he chuckled, like it was a joke. "Ba't parang nagmumuni-muni ka r'yan?"

I rolled my eyes but tried to act casual. "Wala. Nag-iisip lang. About life, you know." But inside? My heart was drumming weirdly. Like a beat I couldn't dance to.

"About sa nangyari last time?" he leaned closer. His tone dropped lower.

I froze.

"Narinig ko nga raw may humabol sa'yo. Buti okay ka. Kumusta na sugat mo sa tuhod?"

And just like that... my whole body went stiff. Like may ice water na binuhos sa spine ko.

Wait. Wait, what? Did he just say—

"P-Paano mong nalaman na nasugatan ako sa tuhod?" My voice cracked. No one knew. Walang nakakaalam. I never told anyone. Not even Elliot. Not even my so-called protective squad.

Kiefer's smile faltered. He lowered his head, suddenly silent.

My breathing went shallow. I slowly stood up, knees shaking. "W-Walang nakakaalam na nasugatan ako sa tuhod, Kiefer. Hindi ko sinabi kahit kanino." My words trembled like broken glass.

And then... he laughed.

"Ay, oops. Mukhang nahuli ako roon, ah." The way he said it—chilling. His laughter wasn't human anymore. It sounded cracked, broken, like something inside him wasn't aligned.

My whole being screamed danger.

My mind went wild. This can't be real. No, Avery, maybe coincidence lang. Maybe narinig niya sa ibang tao. Maybe he guessed. Or maybe... no. Don't lie to yourself. He knows. He f*****g knows.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" My lips quivered.

He looked at me with a grin so sharp it could cut glass. "Don't worry, my baby," he whispered, stepping closer. "I won't hurt you. Mahal na mahal kita para saktan ka. Hahaha!"

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Napaatras ako, pero parang naka-glue ang mga paa ko sa lupa. Move, Avery, MOVE! my brain screamed, but my body betrayed me.

I stumbled, falling back on the grass, and in one terrifying second, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

I could smell his perfume—except it wasn't perfume anymore. It was laced with fear, danger, obsession.

"Get off me, you pervert psycho!" I cried, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. My voice cracked, desperate, but no one was around. No one could hear me.

He laughed louder, manic, almost theatrical. "Awww, don't cry my baby. Hindi bagay sa'yo ang malungkot."

And I thought—God, is this how it ends? Sa kamay ng isang taong hindi ko naman minahal? Sa kamay ng isang taong ginawang horror movie ang buhay ko?

"B-Bakit mo ginagawa 'to?" I sobbed, hugging myself tight like it could shield me.

His tone shifted, darker. "It started two years ago. Nakita kita sa bar. Ang ganda mo. The way you moved, the way you laughed. Hindi kita makalimutan. Araw-araw kitang iniisip. Ni hindi kita kilala pero obsessed na ako."

Every word hit like a bullet.

"And when I found out you're studying here," he continued, his smile deranged, "I transferred just to be near you."

My knees buckled. I couldn't breathe. Two years? All this time? Someone was watching me and I had no idea?

"But... bakit ako?" I managed, my throat raw. "I'm trans... h-hindi ako tunay na babae."

His face twisted, eyes burning with something I couldn't name. Rage. Desire. Madness.

"So what?" he snapped. "You're more beautiful than most girls. Your voice, your skin, your soul. I love you, Avery!"

My lungs refused to work. Tears blurred my vision. Why me, Lord? Why me?

I tilted my head up, whispering so soft only the heavens could hear "Lord, tulungan N'yo po ako..."

Then he stood, looming above me like a shadow I couldn't escape.

"You may go, my sweetheart," he said, smiling like the devil himself. "But always remember..." He leaned closer, his words laced with venom. "I'm a psycho, and I can kill."

And he laughed. Loud. Maniacally. As if the garden belonged to him. As if my fear was his entertainment.

I stayed there, trembling, broken, tears streaming down my face.

This can't be real. Hindi pwedeng totoo 'to. This is a nightmare. Please, someone, wake me up.

But no one came.

And the silence after his laughter? That was the loudest sound of all.

This can't be real. Hindi pwedeng totoo 'to. Hindi pwedeng may isang taong... obsessed sa'kin.

I mean... sure, I know I'm pretty. I know I stand out. Hello, obvious ba? Trans or not, I've always carried myself like I belonged, like I had a place in this world. Pero never ko inisip na ang beauty ko would be... a curse. That someone would look at me and not just admire me, but claim me in their mind like I'm theirs to own.

I hugged my arms tighter, my chest rising and falling too fast. My thoughts scattered like broken glass.

Is this the price I pay for being seen? For choosing to live unapologetically? For being loud and proud and present? Kasi kung ganito, bakit parang parusa?

I kept replaying his words in my head, "I transferred just to be near you. Every night, you're the star of my dreams."

Oh, my God. Sino ba gumagawa ng ganito in real life? This is stuff I only read in creepy w*****d horror plots at mga psycho stalker movies. Pero ngayon, ako 'yung bida. Ako 'yung pinili. Ako 'yung sinusundan.

And instead of feeling flattered, because let's be real, ang ibang girls ay baka isipin pa na kakilig-kilig 'yon pero ako? No. I felt sick. My stomach twisted. My skin crawled.

How can someone love me and scare me at the same time? How can someone say I'm more beautiful than most girls, pero the way he looks at me makes me feel less human, more like prey?

I bit my lip hard until I tasted blood.

And then another thought hit me, sharp and cruel that what if no one believes me?

What if I tell Tyler, Edward, Tyron, or Elliot about this, and they just laugh it off? What if they say I'm exaggerating, or worse... they think I'm just craving attention?

"Damn it, Avery," I whispered under my breath, pacing the room. "What did you get yourself into?"

My chest tightened. My knees almost gave in again.

Hindi ko rin matanggap na ako pala... ako pala ang naging obsession ng isang baliw. I mean, I know maganda ako, confident ako, but never ko naman naisip na that kind of beauty could attract danger. I thought it would open doors, give me power, make me untouchable. Pero ngayon? Nakakatakot pala 'yung idea na may taong kaya kang pagplanuhan, sundan, angkinin just because they think you're perfect in their eyes.

My reflection in the mirror of gymnasium caught my attention. I stared at myself, eyes red, lips trembling, hair messy.

This is me. The same Avery who laughs too loud, who flirts for fun, who walks hallways like a runway. But right now? I don't even recognize myself. My beauty didn't save me. It cursed me.

And that was the cruelest part.

And maybe that's the scariest part of it all knowing that the monster wasn't a stranger in the dark. He was someone I knew. Someone who smiled at me. Someone who blended in.

Pag-uwi ko sa dorm, derecho ako sa kwarto, hindi man lang ako nagbihis or nag-ayos. My hands were still shaking. My knees still weak. Parang my whole body was betraying me. Every corner of the dorm felt like shadows were alive, like may nakatingin. Like someone could just step out and whisper in my ear again.

God, bakit ganito? Why do I feel like I brought the darkness home with me? Para akong sinundan. Hindi ako mapakali.

I sat on the edge of my bed, hugging myself. "You're safe here, Avery. Safe ka rito. You're with them," I whispered under my breath. Pero kahit anong convince ko sa sarili ko, the weight in my chest didn't go away.

Ayaw kong sabihin agad sa apat what happened kanina. Not yet. What if they don't believe me? What if they think I'm overreacting? Worse, what if they confront him and something happens? I couldn't take that risk.

So, I did the only thing I thought might help which is to distract myself. I decided to prepare dinner for everyone. Maybe filling the dorm with warmth and food could ease this horrible fear.

I called Edward to the kitchen. "Hey, help me cook?" I tried to sound cheerful.

He smiled, and even if I was faking, he didn't question it. While chopping veggies, he hummed, made silly faces, teased me about burning the rice. Simple things, pero nakatulong. Just talking to him made me feel a little lighter. At least I wasn't alone with my thoughts.

This is what I need right now. Companionship. Noise. Something normal. Kasi kung ako lang mag-isa, I'll spiral, I'll keep hearing his voice, I'll keep smelling that perfume that suddenly turned rotten in my memory.

By 7 PM, the table was set. Plates steaming with food, glasses lined, laughter waiting to happen. I told myself. This is normal. This is family. Maybe this can make me forget for a while.

I needed to call them. So, I started with Tyler.

"Tyler, kakain na!" I knocked. He opened the door, looked at me briefly, then walked past without a word, straight downstairs.

Okay... that was weird. Hindi ba siya gutom? Or maybe he's tired? Or maybe... okay fine, Avery, don't overthink. Not everything is about you.

Next was Tyron. I opened the door since it was unlocked. He was asleep and uniform still on, sprawled like a tired kid. Honestly? He looked so peaceful, halos angelic.

Wow, kung sino pa yung suplado sa amin, siya pa yung mukhang pinaka-vulnerable ngayon.

But then a mischievous thought hit me. He should eat with us. Hindi excuse na tulog siya. Kaya ayun, tumakbo ang utak kong pasaway. I climbed onto his bed and jumped, landing square on his chest.

Boom!

"Grabe ka!" he gasped, eyes snapping open. "You're so silly," he added, staring straight into my eyes.

For a second, I froze. His gaze lingered, intense, almost too close. My heart skipped, but not in a way I could handle. Instead, I panicked. Why does this feel... dangerous? Why does this remind me of Elliot, of the kiss, of the things I've been avoiding?

I scrambled to stand up, heat rushing to my cheeks. "K-Kain na tayo! Baba ka na lang, ha." My voice cracked, and I ran out before my thoughts got worse.

And then came the last door. The heaviest one to face.

Our shared room. Elliot's.

When I walked in, his bed was empty. But I heard water running from the bathroom. My throat went dry instantly. Should I knock? Should I wait? Should I leave? Avery, decide before it's too late.

I reached the door just as it opened.

And then my world stopped.

There he was. Fresh from the shower. Hair dripping wet, skin glowing, towel wrapped low around his waist. His chest... his shoulders... his everything—Greek god level.

I literally lost my breath. My hand flew to my chest, as if holding my heart in place. Oh my god, bakit parang kulang na lang ay bumagsak ako rito sa sahig?

He looked at me with his usual cold expression. "What are you doing there?" His voice is steady, low, unbothered.

"I-I just want to tell you na luto na 'yung dinner," I stammered, words tripping over my tongue.

"I'm not hungry." He turned away instantly.

It was like a bucket of ice water poured over me. My heartbeat that was flying high moments ago crashed straight to the ground.

I grabbed his arm without thinking. My hand shook. He looked back at me, serious, eyes piercing. I let go immediately.

"Please... kahit ngayon lang," I said, forcing a smile. But it wasn't real. My lips trembled, my chest ached. Why am I begging? Why do I care this much if he eats with us? Why does his coldness hurt like a dagger?

He paused. Looked at me. Then sighed. "Okay. Wait for me downstairs." His tone was still cold, but at least he agreed.

I stepped out of the room like a ghost, barely knowing how my feet carried me. My mind was numb, my chest unbearably heavy.

Why does it feel like every word from him cuts me deeper than Kiefer's threats? Why does Elliot's silence hurt more than the psycho's laughter?

And as I reached the stairs, one truth lingered, stabbing me harder than anything else.

And it was killing me.