Detoxify

Chapter 19

Different

Avery's Point of View

Tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face as I sat there on the edge of the bed. My chest was so heavy it felt like I couldn't breathe, like every sob was another crack forming inside me. I hated myself. I hated the situation. I hated how everything seemed to collapse the moment I entered their world.

I ruined everything.

That thought kept echoing in my mind. Parang paulit-ulit na plakang hindi ko mapatigil. I destroyed the bond they once had. I broke the unspoken rhythm they shared. And now... now I was nothing but a burden.

Hindi ako mabuting kaibigan. Hindi ako mabuting tao.

The guilt was suffocating. I curled under the blanket, trying to hide, trying to shrink away from the reality I created. If only I never transferred here, if only I stayed where I was. Maybe then they wouldn't have drifted apart. Maybe then, they would still laugh together like they used to.

And me? I wouldn't be sitting here with swollen eyes and a trembling heart, convincing myself that I deserved every ounce of this pain.

Because I did. I deserve this.

The sound of the door creaking open snapped me out of my spiral. My breath caught in my throat. Ayoko. Ayoko siyang makita ako na ganito. Not him. Not Elliot. Of all people, he shouldn't see me broken like this.

The silence that followed was deafening. But I knew he was there becauseI could feel the weight of his presence, the air shifting as he stepped closer. The bed dipped, and suddenly, the mattress beneath me shifted. He lay down beside me.

My heart raced.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

I froze. His voice... it wasn't the same as before. Wala na 'yung malamig na tono. Wala na 'yung distansya. Instead, it was warm, careful, almost fragile like he was afraid to hurt me more.

"Oo," I whispered, but even I could hear how fake it sounded. My voice cracked. My answer betrayed me. I couldn't face him. I couldn't let him see my swollen eyes.

"Stop lying, Avery," he murmured, moving closer. I felt the space between us shrinking until our backs almost touched. His nearness was both a comfort and a dagger.

My chest tightened. "Okay... so what? Kung aminin ko man na hindi ako okay, may mangyayari ba?" My voice broke, trembling with every word. "Mapapatawad ba ako ni Tyler? Matatapos na ba lahat ng 'to? Will this pain ever stop?"

And then the tears came again, faster, heavier.

He didn't answer right away. The silence stretched, broken only by my muffled sobs. Each sound seemed to hang in the air like it was refusing to die down, echoing between us.

Finally, he spoke. "Wala akong magic, Avery," his voice steady, honest. "Pero may paraan ako para gumaan kahit papaano ang pakiramdam mo."

My breath hitched. "P-Paano?" I whispered, too weak to even hope.

Still no answer. Instead, I felt it... his arms wrapping tightly around me from behind, pulling me close in a firm but gentle embrace. A hug that wasn't forceful but full of intent. A hug that said, I see you. I hear you. I'm here.

And for a moment, the chaos inside me stilled. The storm quieted.

The pain didn't vanish, no. But it lessened, like someone finally carried half the weight I'd been dragging alone. My tears slowed. My breathing softened. And the warmth of his chest against my back reminded me that maybe... just maybe... I wasn't as alone as I thought.

I closed my eyes. Hinayaan ko siya. Hinayaan kong yakapin niya ako, kahit sandali lang. Maybe for minutes, maybe for hours I couldn't tell. Time blurred when comfort was rare.

But deep down, a truth was gnawing at me.

This is temporary.

Because as much as I wanted to stay in this bubble, to believe that his arms could keep me safe forever... I knew it couldn't last. This wasn't permanent. Hindi ito ang solusyon.

So I made a choice.

I pulled away, slowly breaking the warmth of his hold. My body ached at the loss, but I forced myself. Facing him, I gave him the bravest smile I could muster. It wasn't genuine, but it was all I had left to give.

"Thank you," I whispered, and before I could stop myself, I reached out and pinched his cheek lightly. Something I'd always wanted to do. Something silly, almost childish but maybe this was my last chance.

He didn't pull away. Instead, he caught my hand, pressing it gently against his face. I could feel the heat of his skin, the faint rhythm of his pulse beneath my palm. My own heartbeat thundered in response.

And then it hit me. Do I like him?

The question scared me.

Because if I did... then what? What would that mean? For me, for him, for everyone else already on edge because of me?

No. I couldn't. I shouldn't.

I yanked my hand back as quickly as I could, turning my back to him before he saw the panic in my eyes.

"Goodnight," I muttered, my voice small.

Inside, though, my mind screamed.

Confusion. Guilt. Pain. Affection I wasn't supposed to feel.

And in that darkness, one thing became clearer than ever.

I was breaking apart.

Edward's Point of View

Ako si Edward. Hindi ako kadugo nina Elliot, Tyron, at Tyler but it never felt like I wasn't part of their circle. Since high school, magkakasama na kami. Kami ang "apat na haligi" ng Elites, sabi nga ng iba.

Pare-pareho kasi kaming may pangalan, mayaman ang pamilya, kilala sa campus, pero higit sa lahat, magkaibigan talaga sa totoo lang. That's what made us solid. Hindi pera, hindi power, kundi loyalty.

Kaya kahit outsider ako by blood, it never felt like that. They treated me like family, and I did the same for them. Sometimes, though, I wonder if being treated like family is enough to silence the things I feel inside.

Because kahit ganoon kalapit kami, may mga bagay na hindi ko masabi. Secrets I bury deep, hoping no one ever digs them up. I built this image of being chill, the guy who laughs things off, the one who never gets affected, but the truth?

The truth is... sometimes I want to explode. Sometimes I want to scream. But instead, I keep it locked inside my chest, pretending na parang wala lang.

And then came Avery.

The moment I saw her, something shifted. Hindi ko alam kung paano, pero the first time she smiled at me, it was like my walls cracked. The kind of smile that burns itself into your memory even if you try to forget.

Hindi ko man sabihin nang diretso, pero matagal na akong may gusto sa kanya. I catch myself watching her too long, memorizing the little things. The way she tucks her hair behind her ear, the way her laugh fills up a room.

But the longer I stayed, the clearer reality became. I wasn't the one she wanted. I wasn't the one she would choose.

And I accepted it. Kasi alam kong hindi niya kasalanan. She doesn't even know what she does to me, how she wrecks me without trying.

Kung aamin ako ngayon, baka masira lang ang natitirang koneksyon naming dalawa. That's the risk I couldn't take. I'd rather be her safe place than lose her completely.

So I kept it all to myself. All the unsaid words, all the what-ifs, all the moments I wanted to hold on to but never did.

Ako rin ang kumuha ng candid picture niya and posted it on the school's bulletin board. I just wanted a keepsake, something for me alone, but it became something bigger. Campus crush agad, everyone knew her name.

I didn't mean for it to happen that way. Honestly, I thought people would just glance at it once and move on. But Avery had that effect na kahit hindi mo siya pansinin, she pulls you in anyway.

And deep down, I knew it wasn't just the photo. Kahit hindi ko siya kuhanan ng litrato, tao pa lang siya... magugulo talaga ang mundo.

Now, things are even more complicated. The bond we once had as four brothers is strained, and she's caught in the middle. Part of me hates that, but another part of me knows... she never asked for any of this.

So where does that leave me?

I am Edward, the chill one and the secret-keeper. The guy who smiles when he's breaking.

And the guy who loves her in silence.

"F*ck!" Elliot's voice echoed from the other room. Halos mabasag ang pader sa lakas ng mura niya. My chest tightened instantly because whenever Elliot loses it, it always means something heavy.

Lumabas ako agad at nakita ko siyang halos wasakin ang cabinet niya. Everything scattered on the floor... clothes, books, even random papers that should have been organized. His face was pale but filled with rage.

"Hey bro, okay ka lang? Pumasok na agad si Avery?" tanong ko, trying to keep my voice steady. Pero wala, hindi niya ako pinansin. His eyes were wild, like he was searching for something more than just missing items.

Sa hagdan, biglang lumitaw sina Tyron at Tyler. Pareho silang gulat, parehong hindi makapaniwala sa nakikita. For a second, parang lahat kami naghihintay ng paliwanag mula kay Elliot.

"Anong meron?" tanong ni Tyron, his voice tense. His usual calmness was gone, replaced by unease. Kahit siya, ramdam na ramdam ang bigat ng sitwasyon.

"Wala pa akong idea pero mukhang may mali," sagot ko, though even as I said it, alam ko na rin deep inside. Something was off. Something was wrong.

Then Elliot stormed past us, bolting out of the dorm, tumatakbo na parang may hinahabol na multo. The slam of the door echoed, leaving us all in shocked silence.

I swallowed hard. Umakyat ako sa kwarto nila Avery. The air was colder there, emptier. Parang wala na 'yung energy niya, the kind of warmth she always carried.

My heart sank the moment I saw her cabinet... empty. The absence was louder than any sound Elliot could make.

"Sh*t. Nasaan si Avery?" I muttered under my breath, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. My pulse was pounding, and I hated how powerless I felt.

Bumaba ako agad, halos madapa pa sa pagmamadali. I found Tyron and Tyler downstairs, parehong tahimik pero halatang tensyonado. Their eyes were already locked on the direction Elliot had run to.

"Oh, anong meron?" ulit ni Tyron, this time mas seryoso, mas mabigat. He needed answers, and I was the one who had to say them.

"Avery is gone. Umalis siya," I finally admitted. The words felt like a knife in my mouth. I could see the shock on their faces, the disbelief.

Tyron froze, his jaw clenching. I could almost hear his mind racing with possibilities. He was always the protector, the one who'd never allow Avery to slip through his fingers.

Si Tyler naman... he couldn't even look at me. His eyes were fixed on the floor, guilt radiating from every angle of his body. There was something unspoken there, something that happened the night before.

And that made my chest heavier. Kung may alam si Tyler pero hindi niya sinasabi, then things were more complicated than I thought. This wasn't just about Avery leaving... this was about why she left.

Inside, I was breaking. I wanted to chase after her, to find her before anything worse happened. Pero may parte ng utak ko na nagsasabing baka siya mismo ang pinili 'yon. Maybe she thought leaving was her only way out.

But if that's true... bakit hindi niya ako kinausap? Out of all of them, I was the one who never judged her. I was the one who stayed silent but present.

My fists clenched. I hated this feeling—helpless, uncertain, scared. Edward, the chill guy, the reliable one, reduced to someone who couldn't even keep the person he cared for safe.

And deep down, a darker thought whispered that what if this is my fault too? Kung hindi ako nag-post ng litrato niya noon, kung hindi ko siya inilagay sa spotlight... would she still be here? Would she still feel safe?

The silence between us three was unbearable. Tyron's glare was sharp, Tyler's avoidance was obvious, and me? I was stuck in the middle, piecing together the fragments of a truth I wasn't ready to face.

Something inside me screamed to move, to act, to find her before anyone else could. Pero sa ilalim ng lahat ng takot na iyon, may mas malalim pang tanong na bumabagabag sa akin.

Did she leave... or was she taken?

Elliot's Point of View

Two weeks. Dalawang linggo na mula nang umalis si Avery. Walang text, walang tawag, hindi man lang nagparamdam. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nagpunta, at iyon ang nakakabaliw. Every day, I replay the moment in my head, the way she smiled at us last before turning her back. The silence that followed has been heavier than any fight we've had.

But I keep hoping. Umaasa pa rin ako na babalik siya. I tell myself na kilala ko siya, she wouldn't just abandon us like this. Avery isn't the type to cut ties without a reason. And yet, here I am, waking up to another day of empty seats and unanswered questions.

Pagbaba ko sa dorm, nakita ko sina Tyron, Tyler, at Edward nakaupo sa mesa. Tahimik. No one dared to start a conversation. Walang imikan. The air between us felt suffocating. Even the clinking of a spoon against a plate felt too loud. Every morning without Avery felt like a routine designed to remind us of what we lost.

I left without saying anything. Sumakay ako sa kotse, started the engine, and drove straight to campus. As usual, I told myself I'd go to the library, maybe distract myself with the endless rows of books. But as I walked through the garden, something caught my eye. A familiar silhouette... that soft sway of hair. My heart skipped.

"Avery!" I called out, sprinting forward. I grabbed the figure's arm with urgency, almost desperate.

The person turned, and my chest dropped instantly. "Bro?!" It was a guy, clearly surprised by my sudden hold. He had long hair, delicate features that almost like Avery's. Napahiya ako.

"I'm... sorry," I muttered, letting go immediately. My hands trembled a little. "I thought you were someone I knew."

He smiled awkwardly before walking away, leaving me staring at nothing. I pressed my lips together, angry at myself. How pathetic... even shadows were starting to play tricks on me.

By the time I reached our classroom, my energy was drained. The hallways felt colder, the walls seemed to echo with the absence of her laughter. Pagpasok ko, tahimik. Everyone was seated, busy with their notes or phones, but for me the silence screamed. My eyes went straight to her seat and it's still empty. Like a void in the room.

Minutes passed, each second dragging longer than the last. Then, the door creaked open. Lahat ng tao napatingin. The sound was slow, deliberate, as though time itself was announcing the moment.

And there she was. Avery.

For a moment, the entire room blurred except for her. She looked... different. Her aura was heavier, her posture more guarded. Mas maganda siya ngayon, mas mature tignan, as if the two weeks away had carved something sharper into her soul. But there was something missing... the warmth in her eyes, the softness of her smile.

I stood frozen. She walked with grace, her steps calculated, every movement distant. She didn't look around, didn't acknowledge anyone except the person she approached. She smiled faintly, but it wasn't for me.

"Finally, you came back," our nerdy classmate said, looking almost relieved.

"Ahh, oo. Kailangan na rin," Avery replied, her smile polite but forced. Parang maskara lang.

My chest thudded violently. She was here. My Avery was back. But at the same time, she wasn't. Without thinking, I pushed my chair back and stood. Each step I took toward her felt surreal, like I was floating. My heartbeat was so loud, I thought the entire class could hear it.

"Avery, dito ka dapat umupo," I said, reaching for her hand. My fingers brushed against hers, and for a split second, the familiarity burned. I tried to gently pull her toward her old seat beside me.

But her answer cut like a knife.

"No." Her voice was cold, flat. Walang kaemo-emosyon.

I froze, the rejection hitting me harder than any punch. It felt like ice water poured over my entire body. My hand lingered in the air as she pulled hers away.

"Ano bang problema, Avery?" I demanded, my voice trembling between anger and pain. "Ikaw na nga tong umalis nang wala man lang paalam, ikaw pa yung may ganang magalit ngayon?" My words came out sharper than I intended, slipping naturally in my frustration.

Her eyes locked on mine, but they were unrecognizable. Empty. Detached.

"I don't have a problem," she said coolly. "I just want a fresh start. Wala ka nang magagawa doon. Kaya please, Elliot... tigilan mo na." The tone was savage, final, and it crushed something deep in me.

I couldn't move. My hand fell to my side as she pulled hers completely away. I stared at her, searching for the Avery I knew, but she wasn't there. This was someone else. Someone who wore her face but not her soul.

"She's not the same," I whispered under my breath, though no one else heard it. My lips curved into a laugh, but it carried no joy. It was empty, bitter.

Two weeks. Two long weeks of waiting, imagining her return, convincing myself that everything would be okay. And yet, this was what I got. This coldness, this stranger standing in front of me.

But no. Hindi pa tapos 'to. I clenched my fists, my heart burning with determination. I will not let this be the ending. Avery may think she can push me away, but I know her... and I will not give up.

Because the Avery I know is still there. Somewhere behind those walls she built. And I'll find her, no matter how long it takes.