Lost

Today, I turn twenty-two. Today, I graduated early from Portland State. Today starts the peak of my powers. Today revenge will reign. I was just like any other college student. I had a loving home, great friends, good grades. Heck! My life was perfect. I got to travel everywhere, see things other people could only dream of. Everything was perfect. At least on the outside it was. No one knew the real me, they didn't know what was happening inside me. Not even I really knew, but I knew the time would come when it changed my life. I knew one day everything wouldn't be so perfect. It doesn't matter, I will get the answers I need; I'll learn the truth and move on from there. That's all I could think about as I walked back to my apartment I shared with my best friend Rose. We've been friends since I was 7 years old. She was the first person to talk to me at the playground. While everyone just started at me. I knew I was different, I didn't have blonde hair like my parents. Mine is curly and deep red, often being mistaken for black. It's a huge contrast to Rose's ash-blonde hair. That wasn't the only difference I had between my family and the people around me; where I'm honey in color, they are all fair toned with different shades of blue eyes. My eyes are an intense gray color with green accents. I think the only reason why I never got teased or bullied was because the King of our lands son was my boyfriend. Just thinking about Tobias brings a smile to my face. We've been together since my sophomore year of high school. I don't know what I would do without him or Rose. They've made life in our community bearable. Crossing the street, I saw Tobias's Audi R8 parked next to my mustang. Which is strange, since he told me he had classes all day today. Maybe he got out early or Rose probably told him that I was taking my last final this morning. Still smiling, I entered our building, and took the elevator to the 8th floor. I'm so excited that this is my last day of college. Tomorrow, I'll be leaving for a camping trip with my parents. Nothing can bring my mood down. The dinging of the elevator signals to get off. Strolling the hall, I hear loud noises. That couple sure is enjoying their time together. Getting to my door, I realize the noise is coming from my apartment. Opening the door slowly. I'm shocked! Totally and utterly baffled. I noticed when I entered the apartment, the clothes littering the floor. Rose's voice screaming for more and harder, followed by Tobias' name. The sounds they are making are sickening. I could barely continue walking down the hallway. This can't be happening, not today of all days. At the end of the hall, Rose's door is wide open and from where I stand, I can see her bed clearly and what a sight it is. Tobias ponding her like from behind. Taking a step back, the floor makes a slight creek. Rose lifts her head and makes eye contact with me. An evil smile graces her face before she moans "Tobias", my hand slams into the picture of us on the wall. I can feel the blood dripping from the cuts I know have. Sliding my hand away, makes the picture crash to the floor drawing Tobias's eyes to me. There's not one ounce of remorse on his face. Just pure relief. Running his hand up the base of her neck, he pulls her head back and kisses her. Nail meet coffin. He planned this; his actions say it all. They faced the open door, the clothes leading to the hall. All of it. If looks could kill, they would be dead twice over. Turning away from the scene before me. I walk out leaving the door to what was once my home open. Let the neighbors hear them. f**k! They probably all knew what those two have been doing. Every smile, touch, kiss, has been tainted by this. I can never reminisce about our relationship without seeing Rose's t**s bouncing in my face. The elevator finally arrives, when the doors close. The space feels smaller than it did a 10 minutes ago. Resting my head on the wall everything keeps running through my mind. Gods, how long has this been going on. Was I blind to everything happening around me? What else in my life isn't real. A panic attack starts to take me. Leaning forward, I inhale and exhale on a count of ten. I must stop think about it. If I don't, I'll only drive myself mad. Getting off the elevator, my brisk steps lead me to my cola-red mustang. Sliding in, white knuckling the steering wheel. All I can see is Tobias righteous face and Rose's triumphant eyes. Turning the ignition, I pull off and head for my parent's house. Blasting My Boy by Billie Eilish, the whole time. I lied to myself this is the worst day. What would normally be an hour and half ride, easily becomes two hours. I can't face my parents. Did they know, if they did why not say something. Where the signs there and I just ignored them. I can't drive all night; my vision is clouded with rage. I'll have to go home at some point. Driving a few more minutes, I take the next exit. A red light breaks into my aimless driving. AGHHHHHH!!! We had all these plans. Tobias even asked me to marry him, our wedding was going to be the finest this community ever attended. How could he do this to me. No, I won't go down this new road and torture myself. All I need to know is that everything was a lie. He never loved me; she was never my friend. Neither of them was ever honest with me. Driving past all the places Tobias took me on dates. Only adds fuel to the fire. The park Rose and I would play at comes up on my left. Everything around here reminds me of them, everything. My parent's street comes into view, turning my car onto their street. Getting closer to their house. My dad is in the driveway messing around with the RV. He always tinkers with it, especially now. Getting it ready for our annual summer camping trip. Pulling up behind the RV, tapping the horn to let my dad know I'm here. Before getting out I pop the trunk. It's a good thing I packed all my stuff up the months leading to today. Sliding out from under the RV, dad dusts himself off and comes to help me. Removing my bags from the trunk Tobias ringtone sounds the space around us. Looking at his name flash across my screen, I ignore his call. The nerve of him to call me mere hours after I saw them together. Picking my bags back up, "Thanks, dad." Pecking me on the cheek, "Of course sweetie," grabbing my other belonging, "Everything alright, Nadia?" "It will be dad. Just wanted to come home early," smiling at him, I do my best to hide the fact that my anger has reach a new high. Walking toward the garage, the feel of his eyes on me. Makes me turn to him and smile. Anything to put him at ease. I know he can feel my tension. He's always been extremely sensitive to the emotions of those around him. Its why he spends most of his time tinkering with machines. He's worried, but he won't push me. At least not until my anger becomes unbearable for him. Our original plan was for me to come home Thursday, but I pleaded with my parents to let me stay at school till Monday. Giving me time to spend with Rose and Tobias, but after what I witnessed this afternoon. Those plans were shot to hell. Funny how things happen. Now I'm home a whole six days ahead of schedule but that's not the problem. Knowing my dad everything in the RV is ready. It's getting my mom ready that will be the problem. In the garage I see everything all piled up on the side ready to be backed up. Holding the door to the mudroom, "Those two bags can go into the RV dad." "Okay, sweetie. If your mother asks, just tell her I'm packing up the RV." Smiling at him I enter the house. My mother's singing leads me to her. Leaning on the frame to the kitchen watching mom sing and dance around brings a smile to my face. It makes the events of today somewhat bearable. Watching her is the balm I needed to ignore, the hurt and betrayal I'm feeling from those who were supposed to love me. Lost in my own thoughts, my mom sliding next to me goes unnoticed. Her arms wrap around me, giving me the strength to breathe easy. She won't say anything but that's the thing, she doesn't have to. She always knew when something was wrong. No matter how much I've tried to mask my feelings. "Honey," giving me a squeeze, "I'm so happy you're home but early, but why are you here instead of celebrating with Tobias and Rose?" "Nope, they are still in class," I hate lying to her, but I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. Smiling, toward the stove I remove the cover and smell her delicious soup. "Mmm! When will dinner be ready?" "As soon as your father comes in from tinkering with the RV." Batting me away she covers the pot. "Okay, he said he'd be in after putting everything inside." Turning to head up the stairs, "Oh, one more thing he said that we would leave as soon as you're ready." With those parting words I run up the stairs chuckling to myself. I can hear my mom fretting around in the kitchen. Mumbling to herself about my father. In my childhood room, I drop my duffels into my closet and head into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I wait for the water to heat up. Looking at the mirror, I see all my differences. My gray-green eyes are almond shaped. My hair is a dark red with spiral curls down the middle of my back. My skin is a caramel tan color. Huh, turning I walk back into my closet and pull out some pajamas, strip out of my clothes and shoes. Grabbing a towel, I head back into the bathroom, hop in the shower, and wash this s**t day off me. Around 7pm my mom calls up that dinner is ready. Sitting around the table we talk about our day and my parents tell me they are so happy that I've finished my classes early. Being with them makes me forget all my worries. Heading to bed I kiss my parent's goodnight. Excited to talk more about the plans for our trip. The next day I wake up refreshed. It's like yesterday didn't even happen, until I look at my phone and see twenty missed calls from Tobias. Ugh! Did he really think I would have anything to say after I caught him with her. The shine of the ring he gave me catches the light causing me to look at my left hand. He never loved me and now I know. Sliding it off my finger I leave it on the dresser, leaving my room. Downstairs mom has the coffee going and dad is telling her that everything will be finished tonight. That's great we can finally leave here as early as tomorrow morning and I won't have to come back here until the end of summer. Then I can deal with the fall out of Tobias and the betrayal of Rose. Entering the kitchen, mom gives me a sad smile "What's wrong?" "Oh sweetie, nothing." Smiling tightly at me. With a gruff dad says, "Tobias, is trying to put a halt to our trip. He claims that you're trying to play runaway bride and get out of marrying him." "Are you shitting me!!!" turning to leave, mom grabs my arm. "Nadia, I know yesterday you were very angry. I also know you wouldn't have come home so soon if something terrible hadn't happened," looking at my father for support, "Please sweetie, come sit down and tell us what happened." So that's what I do, while sipping my coffee. I relay every detail of yesterday all up to the tragic end where I walk in on Tobias f*****g my best friend. "There you have it, I caught him cheating on me and who knows how long they've been doing it for, but I just had to leave." My father is livid, and mom just looks sad. I just can't take their silence anymore. "So...what problem are we facing?" "The king called asking for your fathers' help on the council," mom says, "Apparently, the wolves and vamps are teaming together to gain more territory," he finishes. Folding my hands on the table I ask "Are you sure? I mean this all seems really sudden." Wringing my hands, "Why would he ask this now? We are leaving in a few days." "Sweetie, it'll be fine. I'm just going to remind him that we were planning to leave today for our trip." I know he's trying to reassure me. I'm anything but reassured. This has Tobias written all over it. As if just thinking his name conjures him up. My phone chimes with a text. Unlocking it I see a message saying "You can't leave me. I won't let you." After Tobias text me, the rest of my day seemed to blur together. Father kept trying to reason with the King, but he wouldn't budge. Which caused mom to become antsy as the days moved forward and our trip was delayed. She hates not being on schedule and all these strange requests are making her worry. On top of that they are both worried about me. I refuse to leave the house. I won't risk running into Rose or Tobias. I know what he said to be true, if he wanted he could ask his father to keep us here permanently; but for now, he's only playing a game and delaying us. A week after I caught them together, Tobias showed up begging for forgiveness and asking me to dinner. Slamming the door in his face. I turned into the living room only to be met with my mother's annoyed look and her asking why I didn't accept. "I don't understand why you would want me to accept his apology- he cheated on me. Threated me and is preventing us from leaving!" facing my mother, while pacing our living room. Standing, she came toward me, cutting me off, "Nadia, I know what he did, and I understand your anger; but if you forgive him maybe he will lay off and we can leave." Flopping on the couch, "Fine—if this will get us out of this town early then I will go to dinner with him." Looking like the cat that ate the canary, "Thank you dear." Walking out the room and up the stairs, I could hear mom telling dad her grand plan. With my phone in hand, I text Tobias telling him I would love to go to dinner.