Lost

Nadia (Ch. 9)

Speaking with Marcel was different. The way he just accepted me without hesitation. I wasn't ready for that. I felt safe with him. A deep part of myself knew he was my father. I can't believe my parents kept so much from me, thinking back on my conversation with Marcel. I realize that he was the one protecting me all this time.

"I'm sorry, Nadia. I thought you'd be safe with Clare and her mate."

"What do you mean? There's so much I don't understand. Why is this happening to me? Who am I? Where am I from? Why couldn't I stay with you?" I rush out.

"You couldn't stay with me, because that wasn't part of the treaty your mother had in place."

"What treaty and with who?"

"I'll tell you if you can let me get everything out before you ask questions. Deal?"

"Okay."

"I guess I should start with when I met your mother. I was just an heir one of my father's many sons. None of us found our souls," giving him a questioning look, he elaborates, "Our soul, is what the goddesses called a fated mate. Someone who made us better. Sometimes they were human, sometimes they were vampire. You just didn't know. My mother, your grandmother was human. Father courted her until he could trust her with his secret. When she found out he gave her the option to stay human or to change. She chose the change. Since then she was the last soul to be found. As king it was my fathers job to figure out what was happening. Word spread that the fae had a way of tracking a soul and killing them before they could meet their match. This caused a war to break out.

The Fae lost numbers and so did we. I was the youngest of 18 children my father had. Seven of them sired before my father met my mother. They all rule their own covens. I lost all but 3 of my maternal brothers from that war. It was after that, that my father got word from our allies in Brazil that there was someone who could help with our soul problem. Father was spectacle about it, so instead of sending one of my older brothers. He sent me in their place." His voice carried off like he was lost in a memory.

"The first time I saw your mother, she was standing over an animal caring for its wounds. Her hands were glowing and everything around her seemed to stand still. She was living art. Pax's the Alpha of Brazil's shifter community. Told me, she was the person who would heal the damage the fae had caused. I asked him what she was, and he told me a Goddess. I thought he was joking at first. There were rumors but no one believed them. We all thought it was just a ploy by the fae. For days I watched her from a far. Making sure she wasn't aware of my presence. I feared everything Pax said was a lie. How could I go back to my father and tell him there was no reason to hope? That he would never have an heir to take over his throne. The day before I was supposed to leave. I couldn't find her. I searched everywhere, even asked Pax where she was. He had laughed at me and said I wasted my time spying on her when she already knew everything, she needed to know about me—then he showed me a trail leading to her village. Still, I saw no one, it was like everyone left. I was about to leave when I saw a shadow and followed it. I ended up in a villa alone. That's when I heard her voice. She laughed at me saying it was about time I stopped playing games and asked what it was I wanted to know. So, I did. I asked her if she was really a Goddess. She displayed her powers and said yes. As the night went on, we asked lots of questions, learning more about each other. When I was going to leave, she stopped me asking me to come back in the morning. I told her I couldn't, but she said I most not leave tomorrow, or everything would be lost forever." He's silent for a bit but I don't ask what I really want to know, if he listened to her.

"Something about her urgency made me change my flight. I told my men to continue enjoying themselves and that we would leave the next day. That morning Pax got word from my coven that the royal family was murdered in their sleep. That there were traitors working for the fae King in our ranks. Your mother saved my life. They fae thought they killed us all, but they hadn't—my trip to Brazil was planned by me and my loyalist friends. The only person in the royal family that knew of this trip was my father. I was furious. I demanded that she tell me how she knew this would happen. She told me it's both a curse and a gift to know what will happen in the future. Whether it will happen tomorrow or years from now. I didn't know what she meant. Here was this woman, who ruled a village of goddesses, had all sorts of powers and could see the future and all I could think about was the death of my family. I could see in her eyes that she understood my pain," pausing his breath catches. I can hear the pain. I even feel it. The Fae killed a part of my family I will never get to meet and for what. What could drive them to do such a thing.

"Before I left the next morning, she gave me a note. Told me not to open it until I was miles away from her. She said it was my saving grace and that I would make an incredible king. She kissed my cheek, smiled at me and said she had one more thing to ask of me. I told her I'd do anything for her, that she was an ally of the vampires for as long as I lived. She told me that my daughter would need me one day, that I would have to protect our child and lover her no matter what my future holds. Then she rushed me out of her house. Pax told me before I met with her that there was a treaty that stated sons live and learn from their fathers, while daughters stayed with their mother. Simply because the goddess gene is stronger in girls but sometimes the boys show signs of goddess power and need training. I told him there was no way she could be pregnant. She wasn't my soul and we only spent one night together, but he told me anything was possible. Especially if she told me we would have a child together. Almost a year later she called me and told me your name was Nadia, that your powers were stronger than any she's ever felt. That instead of one side dominating; both sides balanced each other. She said it was like if you took a life from feeding, new life would grow somewhere else. Everything was balanced. She said the fae would come for you. Try to sway you to destroy us all. Supernatural and human alike."

Not caring if I interrupt him anymore, I ask, "What was in the note she gave you?"

"A name."

"Whose?"

"My soul, her same is Sophia Dubois. She is now my Queen, we have three children together. Liam is 22, Samuel is 17, and Amee is 13."

"O—oh. Do they know about me?"

"Yes, Sophia and I made sure they knew about you and your mother, because if not for her they wouldn't be."

Silence stretches between us. I don't know if I want to know more. My mother saved my father, she also helped him rebuild what was lost to him. Yet there is still so much I don't remember or can't. "Did my mother have any other children," I ask.

"She did, she had a son with Pax. His name is Azul. He has what the wolves call the sight. He's also the alpha of the Brazil pack."

"Did he get the sight from mom?"

"Yes—"

"Is she alive?"

"Nadia, you have to understand. I told her I would protect you and I will, but I also promised her I would not give any details about her until it was absolutely necessary."

"I have to know, please," I beg.

"I'm sorry dear. I can't answer that for you. Sometimes I'm not even sure I met her, until Clare would send a picture of you, and I would be reminded of her through you. You look so much like her."

Our conversation continued, and I didn't push to know more. He allowed Liam to speak with me for a bit. He also explained that even though that pack here in Utah wasn't loyal to the fae, that they wouldn't do anything to shake the ground they stood on with them. When he inquired about my parents, I told him that Tobias and his men killed them. He said he would try to get me out, but his hands were tied until he got word that Tobias had left. So, for now I'm stuck in this sanctuary of sorts that I've created for myself. Until he can either convince the alpha here to help me or send someone to collect me.

I don't know who to trust. Even though I felt a kinship when speaking with him and Liam; how do I know for sure what they told me is true. He couldn't even tell me if my real mother was alive or not. Maybe he doesn't know, but someone must. She would've told someone. Someone who could've protected me before she needed Marcel's help. Maybe, I just don't know. My day is pretty much the same as the days before. I spend my time healing the wildlife and swimming. Occasionally I'll test out my powers to see how they work together. I've noticed that if I use too much of my energy I'll have to feed and rest for most of the day, but that's only when I astral and aura read together. Those take up most of my energy, unlike speed and strength which don't take much. Feeding was one of the things I talked to Marcel about.

He said blood was the quickest way to replenish myself but that I could still eat human food. It wouldn't replenish me as much as blood, but it would do in a pinch. He said animal blood was different from human. Human made everything better, I wouldn't need to eat for a few days if I had human blood. Unlike animal blood I would have to feed every other day. At that Liam chimed in saying that I should only drink bagged blood, because we don't know if drinking from the source would affect me in any way good or bad.

Here I am on another night drinking rabbit blood, while the rest of the rabbit roasts over a fire. Created a shield this large takes a lot out of me, which means I eat every few hours. Lately I've noticed a wolf visiting me, but the bears won't let it come close.

Sometimes I think it's even scared to and is grateful the bears won't let it nearby. Just like now, it's back again. Something is different about it. I can feel that he's not like the other wolves. He's something more. Being here for so long I've learned how to tell the animals and plant life apart from each other. Their auras are different, simply. Where his aura is confused, mixed between simply and complex. When I told Marcel about it earlier, he said it was probably a shifter from the nearby pack.

It made me happy that the shield I made only allowed animals near. It meant that he would have to be more wolf than human to get close, but the bears added extra protection knowing what he was they wouldn't let him closer. Tonight, though is a different story. This wolf looks battered and bloody. His breathing is shallow, too shallow. As I draw near female black bear, carries him closer. She shows me that she trusts him that he has protected other creatures and believes he would not hurt me.

I can't leave him to die. I will save him but in doing so someone else might die. It took a while for me to understand this, that even though the life was almost gone from this life. A new one would be made in its place. I've never brought anyone back from the brink of death though. I don't know who will die in order to save his life. I haven't mastered separating the two yet. Marcel thinks I won't be able to do it, but I know he's wrong. I guess tonight I will test it out. I send some rabbits out to check that no animal or human dies while I save his life.

Taking him from the bear, I walk toward the water. Descending into it, I try not to jostle him too much. Once we are submerged with only our heads above the surface. I concentrate on turning the water into a healing pool and stopping myself from taking a life. The water glows brightly under the moonlight. I can feel his soul healing, wounds mending. My energy is slipping, and even though it's easier to heal him as a wolf. I know he needs to shift back to a human to speed up the process. Before I lose control, I force him to change. Drawing my power back, I slump into the water. Almost drowning us both. Dragging his body back to shore, I call forth a bear to remove him from here before he wakes. Once they walk away, I know what I most do.

I can't stay here anymore. Once he wakes up, he'll remember where this spot was. Sadly, I look around at all the animals and our little sanctuary. I let them know it is no longer safe for me to be here and that I have to go. Some of the animals' scatter to their respected places in the woods. While a few stay to protect me as I pack up and eat the rabbit meat I cooked. It's not much but it will give me enough strength to find shelter for the remainder of the night. Before I leave, I ice over the pool and let the snow fill the clearing again. Giving it one last glance, I say good-bye to my safe place. I know I will always carry it with me, about a mile away from the clearing a rabbit stops me, letting me know that there was no death when I healed the shifter. Letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding; I smile up to the moon. Thanking whatever gods are with me tonight that I figured out how to control this power.