The Alpha in her Dreams

Walking up the steps to her apartment, Laurel felt Henry’s hand slide from her side to cup her butt. She slipped the keys into the door handle as he moved behind her, brushing her hair to the side as he kissed her neck. “Henry, it’s late and we have to work tomorrow,” she objected half-heartedly. Things had felt different with Henry the past few weeks, and Laurel was unsure of what it meant or what she should do about it. It felt wrong that Henry was unaware of her doubts. He nibbled her ear teasingly before responding. “I know, sweetheart, but I can’t get enough of you. We’ll sleep much better if you invite me in.” The tingles from his teeth against her ear lobe encouraged her to invite him. Tossing the keys in the bowl by the door, she grabbed Henry’s hand, smiling seductively at him before leading the way to her bedroom. He locked the door behind him, and she let her head fall back to rest on his shoulder, savoring the sensation of her growing desire. She moved her hips against his hand like it was a slow dance partner and when her movements became more needy, Henry removed his hand and twisted her around. Frustration at the sudden lack of stimulation drove her forward, kissing Henry passionately and forcefully. She lifted her arms as he pulled her shirt off, pausing the kiss when he slipped it off her head. “God, Laurel, you’re so beautiful. I want you so badly,” he rasped, his hungry eyes taking her in. Henry and Laurel had been together long enough to know one another's bodies, one another's needs and when they finally laid back on the sheets, sweaty and exhausted, their labored breathing filled the room. “That was amazing,” Henry said breathlessly, rubbing his thumb along the small of her back. “I’ve always enjoyed being with you, but this last month has been extraordinary. Not that I’m complaining, but what’s gotten into you?” She rolled over and stared at the ceiling for a moment before answering. “I’m not sure.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Laurel had felt the change as well but couldn’t explain it. The past few weeks she felt as if s*x with Henry was something different than it once was, as if she were trying to fill a space deep within her. And though the s*x was amazing, she had to admit that something was missing. Even in Laurel’s unconscious state, she realized that she was dreaming. Mostly because the dream was familiar to her now. It felt different from other dreams, though. Somehow more important. In her dreams, she was always focused so intently. It was always the same- She’s maneuvering through a busy street, the same street she walks every day to work. But the faces on the busy sidewalk are blurry and she barely notices the frequent brushes of other bodies against hers. She’s searching for something, someone. Suddenly, her heart rate quickens. She stops, and everything seems to move in slow motion until she sees him. She can’t clearly distinguish his features, but she knows he’s the object of her anticipation. As he gets closer, she takes in his towering frame, broad chest, and strong build. She is sure that no one has ever worn a suit as well as this man. He’s walking purposefully towards her, and she knows he is seeking her out, as if he senses her as well. She wants to run to meet him, but her legs feel like lead. He gets closer, and Laurel feels her core tighten. Coming to a stop in front of her, he reaches out to brush her cheek and sparks emanate from his touch. She studies his strong jaw, his high cheekbones, and pouty lips. His earthy scent invades her nose, and she knows regular air will never be as satisfying as this. She’s lost in his eyes, a deep forest green. They seem to know every part of her soul, and she feels herself ache for him. He leans in… Laurel awoke with a start, sighing in frustration. This is where the dream always ended. Rolling over, she saw the clock and groaned. She must have turned off her alarm while she was dreaming. Who could blame her with a dream man like that? If she hurried, she could still get to work on time. She’d taken the job at the consulting firm when she graduated college with her business degree. She was an administrative assistant, although she’d gotten somewhat of a promotion when one of the big wigs requested her in his department. Still, this was not what she dreamed of when she was in college. It had been the riskiest and most frightening thing she’d ever done when she left the comfort and familiarity of her Aunt Lucy’s cabin in the woods of Oregon and headed to school in California. She’d lived with her aunt since she was thirteen, after her parents died in a car accident. Lucy was single and lived about 30 minutes from town. She enjoyed being alone in the woods. “Forest therapy,” she called it. But she’d welcomed Laurel and never gave her any indication that she wished it were different. Although the loss of her parents never left her, Lucy taught her how to work through her grief. She also taught Laurel the importance of being able to take care of herself and being accepting of change. She was incredibly grateful to her aunt, which made it even more difficult when she headed off to college a month after her high school graduation. When she arrived, the first thing she did was get a job at a local restaurant and find an apartment. On a campus bulletin board, she found a handwritten advertisement on bright pink paper that read, “Looking for a cool and trustworthy WOMAN to share a space with. Must be okay with clutter and loud laughter.” And that was how she met Susanna Roberts, or Susu as Laurel called her. They were fast friends and had remained so even after college when Susu moved to New York with Laurel. Susu’s degree in Philosophy didn’t land her any job opportunities and she’d said that she could work at a coffee shop there just as easily as she could in California. Laurel was incredibly relieved. An introvert by nature, she valued the relationships she had and was glad for a friend in the new city. She and Susu had become even closer since making the move to New York, and though their schedules were often conflicting, they spent time together every chance they got. Dressing quickly, she checked herself for a moment. She’d been spending a lot of time indoors over the past few years and her freckles had lightened from her years in Oregon and California. She was thankful for her good complexion as she pulled her hair into a low ponytail and grabbed her messenger bag on the way out. She’d never thought too much about her appearance. She chose timeless clothing, easy hairstyles, and wore minimal makeup. A trim, 5’7” frame made buying clothes easy. Her wavy, red hair reminded her of her mother, and her brown eyes were precisely the shade of her father’s. Although she knew her body and features weren’t perfect, she never struggled to make peace with her appearance like other girls she knew. The death of her parents had helped give these things their proper place of importance in her mind. As she joined the throng of New Yorkers making their way to work, she thought of Henry. They had a standing lunch date on Mondays since that was generally a late work night for him. She’d met him shortly after moving to New York when he accidentally interrupted her interview and then waited by the elevators for her. Intelligent, confident, and charming, he’d introduced her to the city, to all the good spots to eat and drink, and where to enjoy a show. She’d found the quiet spaces in the city herself. Those places didn’t fit Henry. He was a mover and a shaker and enjoyed being around people and activity. They had been together for almost three years, and he’d been hinting they should move in together, but she wasn’t ready. Even though she loved Henry, she hesitated to take the next step. He was a gentleman, but she often felt like he wasn’t listening when she spoke. He was quick to dismiss her frustration that she hadn’t progressed beyond a glorified secretary, even though her degree and skills showed she had the competence for a higher-level job. She watched men with similar backgrounds and less time at the corporation advance ahead of her and yet Henry never understood her feeling slighted, saying that “everyone has to climb the ladder.” His suggestions that they take the next step in their relationship were becoming more insistent. She sighed as she remembered their conversation the prior weekend when Henry had asked her what was holding her back from moving in. She couldn’t give him a satisfactory answer. She just knew she wasn’t ready. And then there was the dream that had begun the previous month. Just twice the first week, then three or four times the following weeks. This last week, it had been nightly. She was too practical to put much stock in the meaning of dreams, but its unabating nature made her doubt the frivolousness of it. She shook herself free of her thoughts as she came to her office building, a plain 10-story building with two sets of revolving doors, surrounded by other office spaces, all heavily trafficked with individuals orderly filing in to go to work. It was an efficient city. She’d always appreciated the way so many people lived in such a relatively small area with so little difficulty. A familiar feeling rushed over her as a slight opening in the crowd widened. Everything around her slowed down as she anxiously searched for the source of her erratic heartbeat. And then she saw him, the blurry edges of his silhouette sharpening as he came closer. She could feel his eyes on her. Though she couldn’t yet make out the features of his face, she knew him. She’d seen him so many times over the past month. She felt unable to move even if she wanted to. And she didn’t want to. He was closer now, her brown eyes locked with his dark green ones, an intensity between them that she didn’t understand but didn’t want to end.