Butterfly to the Soul

Ava I was in the middle of darkness. Black and heavy fog was wrapped around me like a blanket. Soft music was coming from a distance which made my heart skip a beat. It still had its effect on me after so many years. I could hear my name, the same voice from my haunted past. Without thinking much, I started running. I had to save myself. Suddenly I bumped into someone. Not a stranger, but a part of my miseries. Holding out a blood-red rose he gave me a taunting smile. Taking a step backward I could sense the music was coming closer. My heart was beating like a drum. Suddenly I felt a hand on my waist which was dragging me into the darkness. The music became louder. As if it was stabbing me with a knife. I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed to make everything stop. I jolted up from my sleep, drenched in sweat, panting heavily. With my shaky hand, I took the water bottle and emptied all the content. Again the nightmare welcomed another day for me. After calming my breath down, I slowly woke up from my bed. moving the curtains from the window I moved the window glass. The soothing breeze of rain touched my burning face. Burning, everything was burning. Another deep cut was given to my soul. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath took the smell of rain as if it was the only remedy to calm my inner storm down. Suddenly a wave of rage and anger flew throw my veins. I could feel my eyes tearing up and my breath became ragged. Angry tears rushed down from my face as I clutched the curtain with all of my force until I felt my nails digging into my palm through them. I wanted to scream and smash everything in my room. Rushing to my dressing table I was frantically searching for the chain, which my mother gave me before the accident as I was told. Taking the chain, I touched it carefully. Then I slowly put the chain around my neck. It always calms me down. Taking a deep breath, I looked myself at in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was flying here and there which gave me the look of a mad woman. My eyes were swollen from my previous crying session. Wiping my tears with the back of my hand I stared at myself. As an orphan, I've never experienced the bliss of pure love and joy. My life became a living hell after the death of my parents. I'm 24 years old and I can say that I already have the experience of 50 years. Life is an enormous sea for me where I was thrown forcefully when I don't know how to swim. I am weak and fragile on the inside. But I can't show it to others. You have to mask your emotion and feelings to seem stronger. Because if the world somehow becomes aware of your weak state, it would not waste a second to tear you apart. Every day I cry, but in front of the world, I pretend that tears never have touched my eyes. I'm broken and shattered from the inside but represent myself as a stone who is unbreakable from the outside. I don't live, I survive, I pretend to live. The loud ringing of my phone brought me out of my trance. Seeing the contact name, I tried to make my voice normal. It was Nora, the only friend I have. We met at our university. Let's just put it this way she didn't run away from me, even though I barely showed her any emotions as I usually do to others. She was always there. She is able to find my words through my silence. And deep down I know I can't handle myself without her. But sometimes I think I don't deserve her friendship. "Morning" pressing the phone in my ear I wished her in minimum words. "You are getting grumpier day by day; you know?" Chuckling at her comment I replied, "I was always like this, you know?" "Yeah yeah, whatever. What are you doing by the way? You have an interview today, remember??" Taking a deep sigh, I looked at my table clock. "Yeah, I remember. I was getting ready for it." "Are you crying Ava??" she asked suspiciously. I saw that coming. "Not at all" I tried my best to make it believable. "Don't lie to me when you can't" she huffed. "No Nora I'm not crying. I was getting ready, why would I cry in the middle of that?" I tried to state it as a matter of fact. "Nightmare again, isn't it?" she asked calmly. She caught me again. "Hmm...don't worry I'm okay now" I tried to convince her. "You sure??" I could sense the concern in her voice. "Yeah, over sure" "Anyways, as you are getting ready, let me ask, do you have the proper dress?? For the interview??" said Nora emphasizing the word 'proper'. I already knew where it was going. "Yes Nora, I have." "I think you are not getting my point grumpy granny" I could hear the mischievous tone in her voice. "It's an interview Nora, not a seducing session." I was going to give an interview for the post of personal assistant of Alexander Scott. The elder son of The Scott family. They were very well known for their money and power and had a strong business network all over the world. On the other hand, this man, Alexander, was every women's dream. Some of them (including Nora) referred to him as a Greek god, by throwing the bucket of exaggeration. He is the hot topic of magazines and news. I've seen him a few times on TV shows and in magazines. He is good-looking indeed but not enough to tempt me. Maybe his wealth and power make him look unattractive in my eyes as I have a strong hatred towards snobbish rich and powerful people. Because I was shattered twice by them. "Hey Ava, are you daydreaming again?" Nora's shouting brought me back from my thinking. "I'm listening Nora" I said sighing. "Come on Ava, why are you like this?? So practical, no fun". "Because I have to be Nora. Okay I'll call you later, I'm running late." "Okay keep giving me updates" she giggled. "Of course" I chuckled. Taking a quick shower, I wore a black pencil skirt with a white full-sleeve top, styled my hair in a tight bun, and kept my makeup minimal. After rechecking my file and interview letter I locked my door, wished myself good luck, and headed out for, my destination. After 30 minutes of driving, my taxi finally stopped outside a huge building covered with blue glasses. A . SCOTT was written on the top of the building as if it was screaming who owned this place. "Typical rich people" I thought. Setting the view in my head I finally stepped into the building. A busy surrounding welcomed me as I expected. People were walking swiftly from here to there; the furious sound of typing could be heard. Rubbing my palms in my skirt I stepped forward to the reception. I saw a blond lady who was busy on her phone. After finishing talking she finally noticed me. Eyeing me up and down she gave me a judgmental look and asked rudely "What can I do for you?" I was used to this kind of behavior. Ignoring her rude attitude, I gave her a soft smile and said "Hi, I'm Ava Smith. I'm here for the interview." "Oh, take the lift which is on the left corner, and go to the 26th floor" she answered. Giving her a little thanks I took the lift and pressed button 26. From the glass elevator, I could see the busy floors as it passed through every floor. The door of the lift opened with a ping and there I was, standing in an enormous lobby. I saw more candidates who were sitting on the sofa and making some small chit-chats. A girl at a large desk at the corner of the lobby noticed me and I walked towards her. "Are you here for the interview??" she asked softly. "Yes," I answered her nodding my head. "Your name please?" she asked again. "Ava Smith," I said. "Hi Ava, I'm Clara, nice to meet you. You can sit in the waiting area with others until your name is called" she informed. "Thank you, Clara. nice to meet you too" giving her a small smile I went towards the sofa. While I was waiting I saw my other competitors around me. Most of them were dressed up like they were going to a party. Tight-fitted dresses and heavy makeup. "Focus on yourself. You are not here to judge others" a voice in my head screamed at me. Leaning on the sofa I rest my head behind the wall and closed my eyes taking a deep breath to calm myself. Suddenly the door in front of me burst open and a crying lady swiftly walked out from the door. "Typical get-out story" I thought scoffing. "Ava Smith" Clara shouted my name. Here goes my job, now I've to face the unnecessary anger of that snobbish brat. "Ava, it's your turn, please hurry up sir is waiting" here, she shouted again. Giving her a curt nod I stepped forward the door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door softly. An angry "come in" came from the other side. Tantrum already had started. Slowly pushing the door, I entered the room and met a muscular person who was typing furiously on his laptop. I walked towards his desk and stand behind a chair. "Sit" he commanded. Dragging the chair very carefully I sat on it. He was still typing and didn't spare a glance at me. I lowered my gaze because I didn't want to give him the impression that I was staring at him. So I decided to examine the floor until he spoke. I could still hear the sound of typing. After a solid 5 minutes I heard the sound of a clearing throat and when I look up a set of blue eyes were already staring right into mine.