Butterfly to the Soul

Chapter 5

Ava

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. As if I could see my shattered soul through my reflection.

I hate this vulnerable side of mine. I didn't want to cry in front of him. But his words, they were just too much to take. How could he even say anything like that when he knew nothing about me?

I bet he didn't know better than me about the hawk-like looks of men. As if they wanted to touch my body with their eyes. I can feel it and can never go wrong about it.

He didn't know the struggle which I put myself through just for a handshake. It was a mere handshake for him but a war for me.

I hate the touch of unknown people or people with whom I'm not comfortable. Unknown touches can even lead me toward a panic attack, which was exactly what happened in the meeting room.

Moreover, I saw that jerk checking me out. Though I pushed myself enough for the interaction but miserably failed.

"They don't go through any struggle they don't even know what it looks like. They are unable to detect it. What are you expecting from these heartless selfish people?? Do you not know about their mentality? Are you not well aware of their destructive nature?? You have promised yourself to remain strong in front of them. But no, here you are, crying pathetically." The voice in my head shouted at me.

"No, I'm going to be strong. I can't show them my weakness. I've never and I'll not." I whispered to myself.

Flashback

"Where is my little flower?" I ran out of my room after hearing his voice.

"I'm here, I'm here!!!" I screamed excitedly jumping up and down.

"There you are!! My beautiful lady. Did you miss me?? he asked picking me up in his lap.

"Yes, I missed you soooo much. I thought you are never gonna come." I said in a sad tone.

"How can I leave my little flower? Don't you know how much I love you. Look what I've bought for you." He took out a box that was wrapped beautifully.

"Is it for me!!?? What is in it??" I asked getting curious.

Suddenly he snatched the box away.

"You have to be patient young lady. This is for you, and only for you, but there is a condition to get it. You have to do something for me" He said smiling wickedly at me.

"What do I have to do??"

"Anything that I told you to do." He said again.

"Anything??" I asked innocently.

"Anything...."

End of flashback.

After that day a seven years old girl got the idea of what the word "anything" meant. Though she was not fully aware of what was happening to her but she understood that it was not good for her. It felt nasty.

She was alone, unaware, weak. She couldn't handle the situation then. She was afraid to tell anyone about that incident as she was threatened to be thrown out of the orphanage and she knew very well that she had nowhere to go. She was unable to do anything but cry.

But now, she is strong. She can protect herself. She is still alone but also doesn't need anyone's support. She can handle herself and the situation around her. So, she should not cry. Crying is a sign of weakness. She is not weak anymore.

Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand I started to wash my face with cold water. When I was washing my face, loud knock at the washroom door stopped me.

"Ava, are you in??" I heard Clara's voice outside the door.

"Yeah, give me a sec." I said wiping my face quickly with the tissue.

My eyes were swollen, nose and cheek were red. Trying to look as normal as possible I ran my finger through my hair and tried to make them set.

"Are you o..Oo my God! Have you been crying Ava!??" and I got caught again.

"No..Not at all. I just have an allergy attack. That's why I'm looking like this." I lied as calmly as possible.

"Ohh, that's why the boss was worried about you." She whispered as she realized something

"He was what??" I asked her again because I couldn't believe that I heard the word 'worried'.

"He sent me to check on you. He said to find you and make sure that you are all right."

"I'm fine now. Is he still in his office?" I asked

"No, he left 30 mins ago after telling me to find you." Clara said as we got out of the washroom.

"Then I should also take my leave now. Thank you Clara for checking on me." I said smiling softly at her.

"Not a problem. Let's have lunch together tomorrow." She said smiling.

"Of course. Take care. Bye." I said to her before leaving.

"He sent her to check on me? At first you tell people that you don't give a s**t, shatter them with your words in the worst possible way and then show that you care. What a hypocrite."

I was in the taxi and was thinking about how hypocritical these rich people could be. Now I hate them even more.

"..........it was completely your fault because you decided to choose them." His words were ringing in my head again.

The loud ringing of my phone brings me back from my trance.

"Heyy, tell me about your day. I want all the details." Didn't even get the chance to say hello.

"It was good." I said not disclosing the incidents.

"That's it???? Nothing else???" she asked as I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"What else you were expecting??" I asked her raising my brow.

"Tell me about the butterflies that you got in your stomach when you see that Greek God." Not sure about the butterflies but I'm getting the spiders for sure.

"Avaaa, are you still there??"

"My butterflies are dead Nora, I don't get them. Maybe I digested them with my food." I told her getting out of the taxi.

"HaHaHa..so funny. Now tell me." she said in a demanding voice.

"There is nothing to tell, the day was how a workday should be. Files, meetings and all."

"Yeah, of course. What can be expected from a grumpy granny?? Even if he made a move on you, you might have scared him away.' She said as a matter of fact.

"He has a girlfriend. Why will he make a move on me??" I was getting annoyed.

"Girlfriend, not a wife. Anything can happen."

"Yeah, in your dreams."

After cutting the call I headed toward my little heaven. I often come to this orphanage and spend my time here with the little angels. I love them more than anything. Their laughter, innocence, and excitement bring me out of my dark world.

"Avaaa, you are here!!" said Hector, my little devil.

"I was missing you, boyfriend, so come here to pay you a visit." I said pinching her little nose.

"Did you not miss me Ava??" a little innocent voice came from behind.

Turning around I saw Jodi, who was standing there pouting with her favorite doll in her hand.

"Of course sweetheart. I missed all of you." I said hugging her softly.

"Ava, finally you got the time to pay us a visit." Said, uncle Anthony.

He was the owner of the orphanage. After his wife's death, he turned his house into an orphanage as he don't have any children. I found this orphanage when I moved into this apartment as I was searching for one.

I try to donate small things like toys, snakes, and storybooks every month. Doing something big for them is one of the main reasons why I need to get a good job with good pay.

"I get a job." I said Anthony picking Jodi in my lap.

"Congratulations my dear. I knew you can do this. I'm soo happy for you." Anthony said in a happy tone.

"I hope I can do something for them now."

"You have already done enough Ava, no need to get worried about them. Your presence and little gifts are enough for them." Anthony said.

But he also knows I'm not going to listen. We have 7 children in total and I'm going to ensure a comfortable life for them.

After spending some time with them, I came home. Unlocking my door, I took a deep breath. Back again in the same dark world.

After making chicken soup I started to work on some files which I brought from the office as they were left unfinished by me after that incident. I was soo lost in my work when the sound of a notification broke my concentration.

"It must be Nora." I thought.

Taking the phone, I looked at it and get confused as there was a text from an unknown number.

"Sorry."

Was written in the text and I already knew who this was though the number was unknown.