Hospitality Man Series II: His Magnificent Specimen

On the day that I actually felt a real love, I didn’t know that by that day, I’ll be in so much pain and sorrow and repent as well. I’ve put up a real part of myself with our relationship, having all my intension clear and simple – I want to be happy with her for the rest of my life.  Back then, I never mind other things or the circumstances that we will be going through, all I want at the moment is to be happy, for once in my life be really happy with the companion of someone I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with. But with my one flaw, she changed her heart. I mean, I didn’t really know if she did actually change her heart for me but I’m still counting on every possibility that she hasn’t. She’s the sun and my clouds in the morning and my moon and stars in the evening. Though with that as it wasn’t clear, I can admit and say that it’s actually my fault. If I hadn’t been a real d**k before we met and then later on when we’re together the circumstance comes between the two of us like a big callused palm being slap right against your face, she might be still with me, right by my side, loving me, and I so. There were days when I torment myself and putting all the blame on me because truthfully, all the blame is actually mine to take. The credits of our ruined heartfelt and mountain-moving wondrous emotional connectedness are up for me. I often go to bars, filling myself up with strong alcohol, with all the hope of my heart to just forget everything and move on. But whenever I thought of giving up and moving on, more pain and regret and sorrow just stab me, like Zeus’ lightning bolt speared just right through my chest. For a second, I never let her left my mind. I love her so much and the fact that I caused her to leave me pains me very terribly that it’s almost unbearable. I’ve died a million times every day when I woke up and she’s not with me like she used to. I hate myself for letting her go and I hate myself for not blocking her back then when she’s about to leave. That was the most obtuse and flippant decision I’ve ever done in my lifetime here on earth. I think I was just caught up in a moment but still, very dumb. Looking back at my life as to what it should actually been with her, something snapped inside me and come to notion that with all my influences, wealth and power, I will find her. I will find them. I worked out my frustration in life on my business. I’m keeping myself busy as possible physically, which, my head is already busy thinking where the love of my life is in the moment. And whenever I can’t get a hold of myself anymore, I temper my sting of loneliness with the very woman who in all matter takes a very great part and responsibility of ruining my life, she who conceived my daughter. Though we’re not actually married because not in a moment I considered her to be my wife. My heart is ripped, shredded and if not, lost and broken in the mere black hole inside my chest. I am a man with no soul I concluded from the very day forth when she left me. Because when she left, she took with her my life and soul and a piece of my heart and me only left with the very pieces that I know will not be whole again until she came back to my life. I cried before almost every night. I know that it’s not very manly thing to do but that was the only way for me to get off my frustration and depression and then hours later, I pull myself together and carry on with my life, taking a prior caution that whatever I do, wherever I am, and whoever I’m with, I will bear her inside my head, because she’s the only reason why I’m still going. I love her and I’ve made an unbreakable vow with the Divine Providence that with His guidance, I will find them with all necessary means that will be needed on the table. I love her and I wanted to see my son as much as I wanted to see his mother. It’s been five years and so of coldness and misery. I will not indulge in another five solid years and still be the same. I’ve already been tracking her since before but considering as to what I heard is true, her butler before told me that she changed her name, trying to get a low profile as everybody already knew who she is. And by which time I know, that it will take so many years before I can find her, find them. But with my company topping all over the world, permits me to have a very handful of people with great expertise to bring her back to me. I’m thirty years old now, but I’m reserved. I will find them, if not today, maybe tomorrow, and if still not, I will find them as long as I still live. That’s the very promise I dearly offer for myself, a promise that only a madly in loved man will do.  A promise of tomorrow shines along with the sun every morning. As I love her, I will cross planets just to be with her again. My measure for my love for her has no bound, it’s infinite. I dearly love her with all that is me. And with much confidence at heart and at mind, I know that I will find them soon… ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ She resembles someone, a model. She has a beautiful straight her that seemed to be a waterfalls. Have lips so perfect for devouring and her eyes as dazzling as the moonlit steel. Her face is as radiant as a spotless desert and her eye brows so shaped and refined proportional to her fair thick eye lashes. The color of her eyes play between the color of dark brown and gray. Her face is so small that I could depict as a real beauty. I devoured her lips as if like it is the end of the world. I rolled my tongue inside her mouth while hers is still. Then slowly she returned the favor. We kissed and shared each other’s saliva, sweet sticky saliva. We have the duel of teeth and tongues. Sounds can be heard from the suction of our both vacuumed lips. She pulled my tongue into her mouth, sucking hard and the pleasure tore through me that my length then again, twirled inside my slacks. Nagising ako mula sa pagkaidlip habang nakaupo ako sa white leather chair ng office ko. I’ve just had a dream, a very wonderful day dream. A dream I would wish to keep me calm all the time; a dream of my past, my very wonderful past, which I’m still not over yet. I often dream about her. hindi ko alam kung bakit, siguro, bunga lang ng parati kong pag-iisip sa kanya, about her matters, kung asan na siya at bakit parang ayaw niya akong makita. Napangiti ako sa napanaginipan ko. I remember the day the first time I lay my eyes on her. By then, all I ever wanted is to be with her, and take good care of her. Right then, I already knew that I need her in my life. My life wouldn’t be complete without her in it, that’s what I thought. But, as soon as my smile fades, a sting in my heart springs as exchange. Pakiraamdam ko ang dilim dilim ng mundo. Nabubulag ako, wala akong ibang makita except the reality that, I’m still broke. I will always be broke. But I’m finding all means to stop my misery, and with that, the only cure is - her. On the very day she left me, she left a very simple, short and straight to the point message to me. Though she didn’t actually spoke it, but as she turns away, her body said it. It’s entirely your fault. Tumayo na ako at pumunta sa may glass window sa gilid ng  office table ko. My company is a 40 stories building. And my office is at the top kaya naman, klarong klaro ko ang buong syudad. My white 3-button-opened Levi long sleeves is topped with my gray satin-like coat and paired with my gray slacks. These are the things that keep me warm in this place, in this fully air-conditioned room. Pero ang totoo niyan, di ko nga alam kung ang pagiging air-conditioned nitong office ko ang nagpapaginaw sa akin eh, or the fact that I am broke. Nakadungaw lang ako from above like parang may hinahanap. Alam ko kung ano at sino ang hinahanap ko pero, it seems like I did it by default, ni hindi ko nga consciously alam na nagsasurrey na pala mga mata ko kakahanap sa kanya eh. I sighed, kase alam kong kung nakatayo lang ako at walang gagawin, hinding-hindi ko siya mahahanap. I sighed heavily again na parang natalo ako sa pustahan sa casino. Bumuntong-hininga ako na parang magugunaw na ang mundo at ako, bilang isang tao ay wala ng ibang magawa kundi ang manatili sa lugar ko. Having that kind of thought makes me sick. Hinding-hindi ako papayag na magugunaw ang mundo ng hindi ko man lang nabigyan ng hustisya ang sarili kong pangungulila. I want to see her. I need to see her. And if ever I will find her, that’s the very time na malalaman ko din kung nasaan ang anak ko. She left for over five solid years and so and I bet, my child now is five years old. I’m so excited yet so very lost. Walang magagawa ang excitement ko and therefore it’s nothing kase limang taon na at hindi ko parin sila mahanap. Saan ka na ba? Saan na ba kayo? I’ll live for over a millennium years just to find both of you. I’m dying to meet you. Bakit ba kase hindi mo ako pinakinggan? Bakit nagpadalosdalos ka sa mga desisyon mo? Now I’m suffering so badly. I miss you pero pinangako ko sa sarili ko not to have a rugged physical strength inured by fatigue and hardships of finding you, and of losing you. Ayokong sa panahon na magkita tayo ay mag-alala ka sa kalagayan ko. I want you to see when we meet again that I’m maintaining my whole just in order to find you. After all, you fell in love with me with the factor of contribution of my very looks. Who knows, you’ll fell in love with me again with the very same thing. I hired Halter Borbon, the best I.T. I could ever find just to find her. He’s been tracking her, or them, for over 3 years. Hinire ko siya after I founded my company. The Imperial Group is the richest conglomerate company that Australia has ever had. Second of which is my great great grandfather’s company here, the Teripox Company. Actually, hindi ako ang namamahala ng company kase si grandpa Patrick ang nagmamanage nun, ang tatay ni Uncle Alexander Joax Thron. So since magkapamilya naman kami, ginawa naming magpartner ang family company’s namin including abroad. The ones from L.A. and that of London and Philippines as well. Each company holds a percentage of the total stockholdings of Imperial Group. Being the CEO of Imperial Enterprises and Holdings is just my side-job, my real job ay ang hanapin ang mag-ina ko. Being the CEO of the most successful and dominant company nationwide, gives me a lot of benefits. Everybody do as I say. Yes, I yield such kind of power. Pero kailanman hindi ko inabuso yun as far as my influences are concern. I’m up to the very good. Well, the best thing of being rich is that you can have everything that you want. The sad part is, not everything that you need can be easily acquired and abducted. It takes a lot of courage, and perseverance and faith. I sighed heavily again. Hindi ko lang talaga matanggap kung bakit naging ganto ang buhay ko. Kung hindi lang sana hinawakan ni Eurika ang kamay ko nung galit na galit si hon na humarap sa amin, sana nakapagexplain pa ako sa kanya. Siguro hinayaan niya pa akong magpaliwanag. Pero dahil sa isang nakakabwiset na pangyayaring yun, nawala lahat sa akin. If it wasn’t because of her.. If she only stepped back back then.. If only .. Pero huli na ang lahat..