Poison me, Please

My name is Mistyc D'améliorer. I'll be eighteen soon, the last day of October. Today is Halloween, a special time full of magic and intrigue... Or it would be if I believed in it, I consider myself a person of science; although a person of science does not take away the fact of being a person, a human being, so stupid as to succumb to the effects of the strongest alcohol, condemning himself to the stupidities induced by the lack of good judgment between the senses clouded by the emboldened one. - s**t ... - I said, when I returned to the place where I had already been, with almost xerophytic vegetation and a tree in the shape of a rotten banana. By now I was even more lost. Judging by how dark it was, it must have been almost midnight, but in the wild fields of Ireland and with no soul in sight. I would rather that magical creatures still existed, as in those ancient magic tales, for Druid creatures to instruct me to get out of the labyrinth of leaves and earth, even if a Kelpie carried me on his back to a pond, I don't mind not knowing how to swim... Perhaps my pleas were heard, but not in the way I expected. Then I stepped where I shouldn't have, on the edge of a hill where I fell, rolled, and my eyes marveled at finding open field. But of course, I would have been even more amazed if I could see some people in the distance, a sign that civilization is still around, but there was no one, I was even more immersed in an untamed, unexplored nature, in total solitude. In the distance are huge rocks, hills, and a stream. Using reason: Thirst was an enemy that I had to fight promptly, plus I would shorten the distance by making it my main goal to reach the water and then continue skirting the course all the way down, to lead me to where there were people who, Hopefully, would act with good will and help me. It was a good plan for a while, but as I went through the place, those rocks were much bigger, so much that the smallest had to be 3 meters high, making my height - my pathetic 1.54cm meter - considered as nothing; the same with the hills, which became steeper and steeper. As hard as I tried to maintain that imaginary straight line, my effort was in vain. The plan was just like that, ideal and nothing more, it only remained in that, in something barely glimpsed in the mind and that did not fulfill its mission. At home I had enough trouble at the end of my childhood, remembering well where I came from as well as the reason why we left, but not as a family, because they sent me to stay with my uncle and I had used good planning to face the annals of the unknown, surviving the task of subsisting responsibly. Everything had gone well, I did not have to go hungry or have any pain, I was happy and my life was going well, until I decided to give myself a moment of typical congeniality to find some good companies, but everything ended in an out of control. Is this what I get for ignoring my responsibilities just to fit and go with the flow? Maybe that's the way it should be, nobody should change a good reputation to impress people who are not worth it; but I would have liked to understand it much earlier, so it would not have ended in this situation. My grades weren't going to save me here, that hardly works in high school and not for life, my uncle was right. The loquacious speech and the languages ​​I learned are useless here without anyone to communicate with, my temperament is not good or bad; I can't find a solution even though my attitude is always tenacious and determined to continue... When you are alone, hungry, thirsty, cold, your body hurts and nobody can help you, you only wish to sleep and enter into a world of dreams where the uncomfortable feeling of abandonment does not exist. At that, I began to hear crows and, contrary to what anyone would think, I was happy. I like crows, they are intelligent birds; where there are crows there can be food, civilization, and I just have to avoid disturbing them and verify that they are flying towards a town and not some unpleasant mound of indeterminate composition in the forest. A piece of cake, because at the moment there is no unpleasant odor to indicate a bad omen. My hair seemed heavier in my ponytails, my eyes could hardly stay open, I just wanted to doze off... But there it was, the stream, my long-awaited first goal. I went over to drink water, almost desperate to calm the burning in my throat. - ~Ahh~... - I sighed. - Very timely... I laughed softly when I saw my reflection, with my hair full of leaves. Then, I stayed there, kneeling, brushing those bits of nature from my locks until I saw a glow in the water. It looked like some kind of cup, and it was like something was telling me 'take it', but I refused. - It's not mine and I'm too clumsy ... - I said to myself. More insistence rang out, almost whispers ... TAKE IT ... - I will not condemn myself for a souvenir! - I expressed reluctantly. I got up, brushed off the my grass and gritty dirt from my knees to clean my pants, and went to sit on a rock to think. - Well... Mom said something about farms and that the cows graze mostly towards the northeast, towards the town... But here, there are no cows, no farmers, no towns, nothing... - I squeezed my hands to level with my chest and started looking around, feeling even more nervous. - No moss... No signs... Nothing to guide me... I felt like crying, a knot shortened my breath and I stifled a couple of whimpers, since no curiosity in scientific knowledge or popular slang gave any indication to help me, so I clung to the amber pendant hanging from my neck. Without family... Without friends ... Without having finished studying what I wanted... Without food... Without company to share my life... What a way to die! Being lost, aimlessly, it would take a while for someone to start missing me. I hugged my legs, abandoning myself to crying. I had worked so hard, I had tried so hard, and it all resulted in a pathetic disposition like dying like a lost girl, in misfortune, in a place that is completely unknown and late night hours, where everyone had to sleep peacefully. - No! No! f*****g no! It's not fair... I don't understand anything... I don't know what to do ... Finally, I cried like a child, yes. My moans, my screams, the abrupt gasps of air mixed with screaming and the release of air in sobs... It was 100% embarrassing, but there was nothing else to do, I still had a chance to calm myself with a little crying to then see everything clearer. The crows squawked, but I didn't care. I kept crying. My parents knew it, my mother always predicted it: “If you don't make an effort to excel, you will get nowhere, or worse: you will be so clumsy that you will die for it." - Why am I so clumsy? ... I don't want to be here... I don't want to die... Not like this ... - Then how do you want to die? I rushed to shift to an alert position, looking everywhere for whoever said that. Although I did not find it, and worse still, I fell sideways like a fool, from the rock to the ground and of course the meter of distance made my butt ache. - Ouch! ...- I complained, still whimpering. - I didn't say anything, I mean... Who are you !? Introduce yourself or..! - Or what? Will you cry some more? - I'm not crying! - I brusquely wiped my tears. - Oh, I do not blame you. What else could you do, pretty girl? - If you came to make fun, let me know when you finish. - I rolled my eyes. - How about you shut up and stop crying? People will mistake you for a Banshee; just answer me. Bossy ... But, I swear: she's beautiful. A beautiful young woman, with long hair of fire, came out in the moonlight, she would attract a lot of attention anywhere ... I sniffed, trying to calm myself and crying, panicky for having made a filthy impression as a total moron. - W-what? Sorry, what? - I asked trying to keep my composure. She not only speaks my language, she speaks it perfect. - How do you want to die, darling? - She asked just as calm as she showed up, with a captivating smile. Far from being scared, she was the first person I had seen in a while, of course I was happy. I was saved! I went from being with my hands supporting my weight and my legs bent and slightly apart, to kneeling and exclaiming calmly with my hands firmly grasping the grass between my knees. - I want to die helping someone, perhaps saving one or more lives. Or old age, as in a century, having left much to the world. - I said sincerely, without knowing why, but with total security and a slight naive smile. I ended up puzzled, because it was like opening my soul for someone else and, when I realized it, I locked myself in the nerves of the moment again. She left her serious face, smiling and crossing her arms. - Oh! Typical passionate and reckless girl; looks good... I raised an eyebrow and then scowled at her. - I'm not! - I refuted. - And why did you end up here? That surprised me... And I didn't want to say it, precisely because I did not show myself as an i***t and suffer from shame. - Answer. - she insisted. It was as if I couldn't lie to those blue-green eyes. - Some girls ... They invited me to drink and made me prove my courage in, well ... - In the forbidden forest? Alone, on Halloween at almost dawn, and you, in antithesis of intelligence, pay attention to them, young lady. That sounded worse if it came from someone else. Was it a scolding? A lady to give scolding in the forest, what good service! – I-it wasn't a question of being smart ... They were also pretty, they started out being nice and I had never drink so much. She chuckled. – And are you even old enough to drink? I rolled my eyes. – Are you a cop? - I asked reluctantly. She denied, and waited for my answer with a smile. – I'm... 18. – Oh sure, let's hope so. She got closer and closer. She was in a cute little black tight dress. Or was it a coat? Maybe his outfit was a bit short ... But she didn't care, what a beautiful figure hers ... – Um ...– I articulated nervously. – Excuse me, can you help me, miss? I've lost myself and... – Shut up. – She said, crouching in front of me until she was squatting. – Look over here... I couldn't react, she took me by the face and checked me while pressing my cheeks or moving my skull in other directions, until my neck almost clicked. - Hey! –I exclaimed, surprised, moving away from the touch of her. - Well, you seem very aware of yourself and you don't seem hurt, but... Why do you have hair like this? - As well as? -I doubted what she meant. I just wished I weren't very disheveled from my bustle in the woods! – Like this... – She twirled her fingers. I took from the pigtails. – It's just like that. – I shrugged. She cornered me against another rock behind me and took me in a couple of hair loops, as if inspecting its texture and composition. – Hm, it's soft... A mouse with curly fur... – I-I'm not a mouse! She took my glasses off while she laughed. – A bookworm you have to be with these things. Oh! And they are heavy! – Give them back! I can not see anything! – I complained right away, trying to get them back. She put them on me to calm my struggles. – Easy, caramel curls... So you are 18 years old? Since you must at least be legal to drink and join passions, right? – It depends... What time is it? She looked at her watch, clock hands were perfectly aligned. – Midnight. – Ok, so yes, today I'm already eighteen years old. She raised an eyebrow and then laughed. – Happy birthday then. – Thank you... Can you help me get to the nearest town? I don't know where am I and... - Do you have family? My familiars where in another country, far away from here, and I hadn't spoken to them in almost a year, so I had no contact with them beyond the insistence in the letters that said I should finish a degree and be a professional to help to the family. I denied. – Not precisely. – Oh! They must have abandoned you. Is that so? I clung to my amber, uncomfortable. I was basically raised by my second uncle, he paid for my education and took me in, he was very serious but never severe, rather compassionate, patient and even affectionate unlike his face, among the little we spoke. Thanks to him, a lonely hermit, when he died a couple of years ago, he inherited me enough to live well for a while and I decided to enter an exchange program. I don't like to think too much or remember, I certainly had to do my part and work while I was studying, my uncle's friends and contacts always had good prospects for me and my attitude, so it was easy to win something as a host at an event, from secretary in some set of projects that needed to organize, be a delivery girl or simply managing documents in dozens of filing cabinets... But without my uncle there was no one. My uncompromising parents and I barely knew each other, my brothers and sisters didn't know more about me either but my first name, vaguely, because being like 17 years older than me, they left home before I knew how to speak. I no longer knew who to answer to, other than myself and what my uncle had taught me. – No... Not exactly, miss. – Don't lie, you can tell that you want to cry as soon as I have named the subject. Is that so? - Maybe... Technically. - I shrugged. She laughed. - You scholars, putting technicalities to everything so as not to face the problems... I will take you to my house, do not fear, we can contact someone to take you to town. – Would you lend me your phone? – I c****d my head as I asked, because I was surprised by her sudden kindness. – Yes, come here, I have nothing here but a book. – She held it up and the leather cover shone. – You're lucky that I was taking my night walk, now if you agree to come I'll help you and, if not... Well! I believe that you would not be able to die in ways that you would like. I sighed, nodding. Her dark humor did not scare me, I even considered sympathetic, I did not care about everything as long as I went to a safe place. – I'll go with you, thank you very much for your consideration. – I answered calmly. She held out her hand, quite satisfied. – Well, nice to meet you, my name is Aranea Flare. Don't cry anymore, join me. I shook my hand with hers and agreed. She asked me to go after her. She motioned for me to hold her hand, but... I admit she made me nervous... So she sighed heavily and grabbed my wrist. – So this... – She put the fabric of her skirt between my fingers and made me take it. – Just hold tight and don't let go. It is understood? I nodded. I would be lying if I said it was the best idea to go with a stranger who asks me how I want to die and drags me to another thicket of trees until there is only forest... But, considering my situation, I certainly had no other options. We arrived at a beautiful cabin with a garden full of white roses. – Do you live here? – I asked, marveling. – Yes. – She opened the door and ushered me through with her hand on my lower back. We were in the dark until she turned on the lights. They were weird, they were all like neon, between shades of white, light blue and light green. She took off the black garment and was left in what looked like a piece of dark green fabric simulating a skirt and something like a top, it was not even thick to be a brazier and it lacked shape or straps. I looked at the floor and hugged myself, holding my arm against me as he bit my thumb. Looking at her too much would have been obscene. - Well, mouse, sit down and I'll bring you something to eat and the aforementioned phone. I nodded. She gave me a slight push of her shoulders and so she sat me on the soft sofa in her living room. I sank quite a bit in that sea of ​​brown suede. She came with a plate. With strawberries, grapes, a sandwich cut into four little triangles, and a small bowl of sauce on the side. She sat next to me, very close to her, with one leg under her buttocks, her arm extended behind me on the back of the sofa, and her other hand extended a cell phone to me. – You have someone to call, right? I nodded. But it was not a surprise to me that, of the 3 emergency numbers that included a colleague, the distant aunt who received me in this place, and my neighbor from the flat, no one answered each of the two calls. That had finished lowering my spirit. I sighed in defeat, holding my head. – I'm sorry, it's useless... – No need to apologize, calm down, I'll take you to town in the morning, for now you just have to eat... I looked at her, missed. – Will you let me stay at your house? Just like that? To pure Nordic hospitality? That may be dangerous! – I scolded. She laughed heartily. – Sure, because you are undoubtedly gloomy and dangerous. Are you going to kill me, miss serial killer? – No but... – Are you a demon or something to fear? – She interrupted. – No, b... – Then you are what I see, a girl who got lost. It costs me nothing to help you. Or do you want to sleep outside with the storm? – What storm? She raised a finger and a huge thunder made everything rumble. I hugged a cushion, having screamed a little, while she laughed. – It's not funny! – I squealed. – Sorry, but I would not have guessed you were so scared. I looked at the floor. One stormy night in the middle of nowhere, no one attends to me or cares about my existence, I don't know where I am... And the young lady who plans to help me is amused by my fear of thunder. This day couldn't be worse! She attached a lot of calamities for which she had forced me not to cry, worries, desertions, ideas that maybe I was simply something unnecessary in this world... And I let it out. First, my lip trembled, but it all spilled over into tears as I moaned. The young lady was quite surprised. – Hey... Girl... Stop that, don't cry ...- She asked, uncomfortable. My clenched hands weren't going to wipe away the tears as they came out. – Easy to say! Not to do it! She sighed. – Was it that bad to laugh? – Is not that! You don't understand! My moans were the only thing that could be heard besides the rain outside. She just groaned and moved closer. – Shut up now, please stop...- She cornered me against the arm of the sofa. But I couldn't stop. – Why... Why doesn't anyone love me? It would have been better if you didn't help me... – Do you want to die?– She asked sternly and a raised eyebrow. I brusquely wiped my face with my arm. – Frankly, it doesn't seem like a bad option... And in that moment everything stopped. The light went out, the rain was barely a downpour and sounded like little more than light drips, and she... Her eyes were sparkling. She had an almost macabre smile, her orange hair was bathed in the glow of her pupils... That made me stop crying and stay very still. - I propose something to you: Let's see if dying is appropriate, with a small sample of this. – She pulled out a little test tube from who she knows where by moving her hand. – Know what it is? I sighed, more relaxed than I should have been, and nodded. – Poison. – I answered with a small voice. She wiped the smile from her. – Do you want to take it, suicide mouse? She was very severe, she was scary... But she was grateful that at least she was not amused. If I took it, I would possibly die... But considering that I didn't have a family who would ask about me, I didn't have friends who were going to mourn my death, I didn't even have acquaintances or comrades who cared enough not to leave me in the woods... I had no much why to live, and the idea of ​​becoming a "professional" to give dubious pleasure to people who had forgotten me, was not a goal to propose keep living... In that field, I had seen my "abilities" reduced to nothing. In that stream, I had contemplated that my existence was a lost channel. In that wasteland, where thousands of stars can still be seen in the sky, the galaxy screamed that I was something more insignificant than someone should be, normally, to the universe... I whispered: – Poison me, please ... * End of the prelude of "Poison me, please ..." ~