Between Hate and Love

Chapter 16

I told Khal that I had an emergency at home the other day. He did not reply but he did not look for me either. Hindi ako pumasok ng isang araw para asikasuhin sina mama. I also made sure to talk with Gino about his attitude whenever he was drunk. Sabi niya hindi na mauulit, pero nakailang pangako na rin kasi siya sa amin noon, pero hindi natutupad ‘yon sa tuwing may tama na siya ng alak.

I left mama with some cash and also gave Atticus and Allison their school allowance. After that, I left.

Maraming beses ko nang sinabihan si mama na iwan na si Gino pero matigas talaga siya. Sabi ko sa kanya palayasin niya si Gino dahil sa amin ang bahay na ‘yon, pero hindi niya ginagawa. Sinubukan ko na rin na kumbinsihin siya na sa akin muna tumira sa Manila, pero ayaw din niya.

Atticus and Allison both wanted Gino out of our lives, pero wala rin sila’ng magawa dahil nga si mama mismo ay ayaw siya’ng paalisin.

Hinabilin ko kina Atticus and Allison si mama. Alam ko na mas gusto nila’ng sumama sa’kin, pero paano nga ba si mama kung iiwan siya nina Allison at Atticus.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t stay any longer in that house. As long as Gino was there, I would never be comfortable. Hindi ko kailanman makakalimutan lahat ng katarantaduhan niya.

I hoped our lives would become better. I just wish na matauhan na si mama at magising na siya sa katotohanan na kaya na namin nang wala si Gino.

I probably sighed too loud kaya’t napalingon sa akin si Khal.

Hindi siya natatapos sa paper works, at parang araw-araw ay mas natatambakan siya nu’n. I remembered before how much he despised doing paperworks, yet he was still doing them. Ganoon din ngayon.

Hapon na at marami pa rin kami’ng ginagawa. Halos hindi nga siya umalis sa harapan ng computer niya.

I tried to completely put my mind in what I was doing, but I couldn’t. Naiisip ko sina mama from time to time. Panay din ang check ko sa cellphone ko if ever sabihan ako nina Allison at Atticus tungkol sa nangyayari sa bahay.

There was silence inside the room and the only thing that was evidently loud were my sighs and Khal’s clicking keyboard.

It was like that since it was almost time to leave. It was five in the afternoon.

Walang pinapa-rush sa akin si Khal so I assumed I was free to go. I arranged my stuff and readied myself to leave. But Khal was still busy in front of his computer. Kanina pa nakakunot ang noo niya. Hindi siya nagtanghalian, kahit nga merienda ay wala. He only asked me to get him a cup of coffee once.

“Sir…” I said, trying to get his attention. “Uuwi na po ako,” I muttered.

Khal looked at the clock. It was five minutes passed five. “Oh… Okay, you can leave. Just tell Rebecca or anyone that’s still outside to get me a cup of coffee.”

I nodded slowly.

So wala pa siya’ng balak na umuwi?

I was thinking as I walked to the cafeteria. Mukhang balak ni Khal na manatili sa opisina niya. Why couldn’t he bring the paperworks at his home?

I bumped with Hendrix along the way. He asked why I was still in the building although it was my out already.

“Nagpapakuha ng kape si Khal, mukhang hindi pa ata siya uuwi.”

Hendrix nodded at me. “He usually stays in the company hanggang magsarado kami. Around nine in the evening. Minsan nagpapaiwan pa siya at siya ang nagsasarado ng main door.”

So he was a workaholic now?

“Nagpapaiwan siya mag-isa?”

Hendrix nodded.

I smiled widely and brought the coffee to Khal. I put it down on his desk and asked, “Is there anything more I can do, Sir?”

Wala rin naman ako’ng gagawin sa bahay at ayoko’ng isipin lang nang isipin sina mama, kaya mas mabuting manatili na lamang ako sa opisina.

“Khal looked at me with a creased forehead. “Yes, go home now,” he insisted.

“No, Sir. I thought, maybe I could help you a bit with what you’re doing. Mukhang marami pa kayo’ng ginagawa, and since I am your assistant I feel like I should do more for you. Hindi ko na nga hawang ang pag-schedule niyo at halos parang puro ako paperworks din. So, let me do more for you, Sir,” pangungumbinsi ko.

Khal slowly moved away from his desk as he pushed himself along with his swivel chair. He stared into me as he played with a pen on is hands. “Nagrereklamo ka ba, Ms. Reyes? I thought I should make you go home on time, because I respect that the contract says you’ll be working from nine to five only. Ayoko’ng sabihan mo ako na hindi ko pinapuwi ang mga empleyado ko on time, baka kulangin sila sa tulog at hindi maging efficient.”

My eyes widened with what he said. So he took it very seriously—the last time I complained about lunch.

“Sir… I only mean well. I offered to help you, kahit hindi mo na ako bayaran for the ot, Sir,” I insisted even more.

Matagal na nag-isip si Khal. Binalingan niya ang tambak na mga papeles na nakapatong hanggang sa couch niya.

“Okay, then. Check out those papers. Sort it according to the email that I would send to you. But once you’re done with that, umuwi ka na.”

I felt ecstatic dahil pumayag siya. Para ako’ng bata na nabigyan ng candy. Quickly, I put back my stuff in my mini office and then started working with what he told me to do. Sinadya ko na bagalan ang kilos ko to match his pace. I wanted to be with him a little longer. I wanted to stay with him even though we were just busy with some stuff. I wanted to hear his breathing and to be able to just calm myself with his presence.

I badly needed it.

Before, he used to calm me down whenever Gino and mama would have a fight. He would stay silent with me or sometimes offer me my comfort food. Sometimes, he would just hold my hands and that would easily bring back the color in my dark life.

He had that magical and mystery effect to me and up until now, I was still longing for that.

It was eight in the evening already. Malapit na ako’ng matapos sa ginagawa ko, habang si Khal naman ay nanatili pa rin sa puwesto niya mula kanina.

Pareho kami’ng napalingon sa pinto nang may kumatok. “Get in,” he shouted. Then, the door opened and Hendrix entered the office.

“Wala na lahat ng empleyado, Sir. Magpapaalam na rin sana ako,” Hendrix informed Khal then he looked at me. “Oh, naandito ka pa pala?” bigla niyang tanong. “Akala ko uuwi ka na?”

I shook my head at Hendrix. Magsasalita na sana ako nang unahan ako ni Khal.

“You can go home now. Thank you, Hendrix. I’ll just lock the main door.”

Hendrix looked at me, wondering why I was still at the office, but then he remembered our conversation earlier. Dahil doon ay napangiti siya.

I stood up to get something from Khal’s desk. That was when I saw how creased his forehead was. Kulang na lang yata ay may lumabas na laser sa mata niya dahil sa sama ng tingin niya kay Hendrix. “You can leave us now,” he said in a cold and stern voice.

Mapang-asar na ngumiti sa akin si Hendrix at saka niya isinarado ang pinto.