Between Hate and Love

Chapter 17

The Cityscape’s view from Khal’s office was majestic. We couldn’t hear the noises of the streets from above the building, but we could see the beauty of the citylights. The different color of lights embraced by the city speaks an enchantment to the eyes.

It was peaceful and serene.

But I knew that the city had more than just beautiful lights. Sometimes it was a facade. No matter how astonishing these lights were, they were a depiction of human becoming blindsided by what was shining, and was eyecatching.

Mapang-akit ang liwanag sa dilim, marahil dahil sa pagkaligaw ng tao sa gabi kaya’t niyayakap nila ang hiwaga na mayroon sa mga kalsadang balot ng panlabas na dekorasyon at paggabay.

Gaya ng pag-ibig.

I felt like I had thought deeply that I didn’t notice that Khal was already standing beside me.

“Your mom… How is she?”

My eyes widened as I look at him. So, he read my e-mail? He purposefully didn’t reply to it. And his question had certitude. I didn’t specify in my e-mail what was my personal emergency, but he knew my life more than I do sometimes, so he knew.

“She’s… fine. You know how hardheaded she is… Sir,” I replied, trying not to get so happy because he was having a conversation with me. For goodness’s sake! Kanina pa kami nasa opisina pero ito lamang ang oras na kinausap niya ako nang hindi tungkol sa tambak niya na mga gawain.

“How about your siblings?” he asked.

Gusto ko nang mag-lupasay sa tuwa dahil sa pagtatanong niya. Pero ramdam ko rin ang bigat ng bawat katanungan. Those questions, coming from him, was just giving me so much confidence that he truly still cares for me — more than being his mere assistant.

“Are you asking me Sir, because you think I would not function very well as your assistant if I have these… problems?” I asked, facing him.

Sa tingin ko ay tapos na siya sa mga balak niya’ng gawin. Pasado alas-nuwebe na rin kasi. Nagpumilit pa siya kanina na umuwi na ako, pero nagpumilit din ako na manatili. Sabi ko’y sabay na kami na umuwi.

Khal averted my eyes. He faced the view before us and put his hands inside the pocket of his navy blue slacks. “Yes. Just answer my questions, it’ll be for your own good.”

Para ako’ng sinaksak sa sagot niya. Nag-assume na naman ako. He cares because I was his assistant, and not anything more than that.

“You know very well Sir, that I am not the type who slacks off whenever I have problems. Rather, I do very much well under problematic circumstances.”

Khal nodded. “Yeah… I know. So, how are your siblings?”

The small conversation got me. I told him everything… just like before. I told him how concerned I was, how my mother didn’t wnat Gino out of our lives, how we managed to fix things, and how Venera helped me.

That was when it hit me.

Five years had passed and I still had the same problems. The circumstances were different now, but it was still my messy family that still kept me up all night.

Khal listened… like he used to. But this time, without holding my hands. He was just there, occasionally looking at me, and just letting me speak my heart out.

And when I was done… he proceeded to ask me that one question that always gets me to pieces.

“And how are you?”

Sometimes, all we need was that question to break apart and realize how f****d up we were. Sometimes, that one question was enough for us to fall weak and crumble into pieces as we stare at our broken selves.

But just like before, I swallowed hard and tried not to make it so obvious. I tried my best not to show any hint of cracks in my voice. “Well, this is life. What can I do?”

Khal didn’t seem to like my answer. He looked at me with his brows almost aligning. He wanted to say something, but he stopped himself.

“Let’s go, it’s late,” pag-aaya niya.

I nodded and took my stuff. We walked out of his office quietly. All we could hear was the noise that our shoes were doing as it kissed the floor.

Sinigurado niya na nakasarado ang main door at saka naglakad papunta sa parking lot. Hindi ako sumunod sa kanya kaya’t napalingon siya. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Gonna wait for a taxi,” maikling sagot ko.

Mukha siyang nainis at saka naglakad papunta sa parking lot. Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Hindi ko siya hinabol, medyo wala na rin ako’ng gana para sa araw na ito. At least, I was able to be with him for a long time and at least we had a shor conversation. That was more than enough that I could ask for for today.

Taitim ako’ng naghihinaty ng taxi nang tumigil sa harapan ko ang kotse ni Khal. He opened the car window and told me to get in.

Akala ko’y nag-walk out na siya kanina kaya medyo nainis ako. So, I shook my head. May pride rin naman ako paminsan-minsan and when it was acting up, nasusunod ito.

“Come on, Ms. Reyes get in. Ayoko’ng mapahamak ang empleyado ko,” pagpupumilit niya.

Hindi ako sumagot. I crossed my arms and walked forward, trying to get his car out of my sight. But he followed me. Bumusina siya ng ilang beses at saka tumingin sa akin nang may pagtitimpi. “I am your boss, Ms. Reyes. Get in the car, ihahatid na kita,” utos niya.

I shook my head. “Sorry, Sir. Lagpas na ng working hours, so you’re just Khal to me now. At saka nasa labas na tayo ng opisina,” pagdadahilan ko.

Now he looked more pissed.

Agad-agad siya’ng bumaba ng sasakyan. Binuksan niya ang pinto sa shotgun seat at saka lumapit sa akin. “Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo,” sambit niya at saka ako binuhat nang mabilis. Hindi ako nakapagreklamo! He brought me like a sack of rice at saka ako diretsong isinakay sa shotgun seat.

My mind immediately went blank.

“Gusto mo talaga kapag pinipilit ka minsan,” bulong niya na narinig ko.

My cheek flushed in an instant at hindi na ako nakalabas pa ng sasakyan nang i-lock niya ang pinto.

“Parang hindi ka ganon…” sagot ko na pabulong din.

I didn’t know if I was imagining it, but I saw him smirked in my peripheral vision.

Heavens! He smirked! And he looked so goddamn good!