RIDE YOU DOWN

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Raven

I stood outside my apartment door for almost a full minute staring at the doorknob like I’d forgotten how it worked.

My heart was still beating fast, I could still feel his presence, the warmth of his body when he was standing so close, the way his hand brushed that loose strand of hair behind my ear, the way his eyes dragged through my lips, the hunger in his eyes was not hard to miss.

I could barely hold myself back. The urge to lean in, the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him again. To taste those lips that spilled those words that left me speechless.

Oh God! I must be out of my God damn mind. What was I thinking?

I almost kissed him.

Rave!!!

That was so stupid of you!

I actually wanted to kiss him

What happened to hating men and staying away from men?

God!

I…i need to stay away from Jake.

I let out a shaky breath and rested my forehead on the wall. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I whispered to myself.

“All of this was not supposed to be happening, Jake was meant to be the annoying neighbor, the one who smiled too much, wrote stupid books about men who didn’t exist, the man I argue with almost every time we talk, not…… this.” I said to myself slowly, almost like a whisper.

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath but instead his voice found me again, “You don’t get to decide if your life isn’t worth worrying about…”

It made my chest tighten.

Why should he say something like that ?

Why would he care?

It made my heart feel safe.

I hated it.

No… I didn't… I didn't hate it. I liked it and that was the problem.

I hated how much I wanted to feel it again.

I unlocked the door and stepped inside, my room was exactly the way I’d left it; clean, quiet and empty.

I tossed my key on the counter and sat down on the couch hoping the feelings would pass, but instead, the wall separating my wall and Jake’s felt suddenly too thin.

He’s probably there.

Maybe cleaning up.

Or maybe reading.

Maybe……..

Why am I even thinking about what he’s doing?

I groaned as I dragged both hands down my face.

Rave!!!!

“Nope, I’m leaving.” I stood up immediately and grabbed my keys before I could change my mind.

There’s only one person annoying enough to listen to this mess,

Jade.

I didn’t bother driving carefully, the roads were quieter now. Normally, driving helped clear my head but tonight, it only made it louder.

Why him?

Out of every man in this town

Why Jake?

He wasn’t even my type.

He smiled and talked too much.

He believed people could change. He even wrote books about men who actually deserved to be loved.

Idiot.

I hated men like him.

I stopped at a red light and rested my head against the bike for a second.

“What is wrong with you, Raven?”

The light turned green and I drove on. Ten minutes later, I pulled into Jade’s driveway.

The lights inside her house were still on, of course they were. Jade never slept before midnight unless someone physically forced her to.

I parked my bike and stood at her front door for a moment and thought about whether coming here was a bad idea or not but before I could change my mind, I knocked and almost immediately, footsteps echoed from inside. The door swung open.

Jade took one look at me and raised an eyebrow. “…Who died?”

Stupid girl.

I brushed past her and dropped dramatically on the couch. “I’m having a crisis.”

Jade smiled dryly. “You? Impossible.”

“I’m serious.” I said

She stared at me for a few seconds. “What’s up?” She asked.

I groaned loudly and threw my head back the couch. “I almost kissed Jake.”

Jade raised an eyebrow and went silent for almost a minute.

I frowned. “Say something.”

Jade lips twitched and she burst into laughter, not a cute one, the loud and embarrassing kind of laughter.

She bent over the couch, clutching her stomach.

“Oh, my God…” she pointed at me between laughs.

“You…” she laughed even harder.

I glared at her. “I’m suffering.”

“I know!” She wheezed.

I grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at her. “You’re a horrible friend.”

I rolled my eyes. “I knew coming here was a mistake.”

“But you still came.” Jade said as she wiped tears from her eyes from laughing too much.

She pulled two bottles of juice from the fridge, carried it over and sat down beside me crossing one leg against each other.

“So….” She took a sip. “What happened?”

I stared at the ceilings, “Nothing.”

She glared at me. I knew that look, Jade wasn't going to let me go easily like that.

I sighed. “He took me to the hospital, we came back, had dinner, he got angry.”

Jade’s eyebrows lifted.

I nodded. “He said I don’t get to decide my life wasn’t worth worrying about.”

Those words felt strange coming out of my mouth.

“So…is that the crisis?” Jade asked.

“Yes, it is for me.” I answered.

She smiled knowingly. “No, Rave, it isn’t.” She leaned forward slightly. “You like him.”

“No, don’t.” I said I looked away.

She wasn’t supposed to figure it out that fast.

“You almost kissed him.” She said jokingly.

“I almost committed murder once too.” I answered.

“It’s not the same.” She replied as she laughed.

I sighed dramatically. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” She said calmly.

I looked down at my hands. “I don’t know what to do.”

Jade sighed dramatically. “Well, you can stop running anytime Jake comes close or….” She held up her second finger, “….sleep with him and get him out of your system.”

I turned so fast, I nearly spilled my drink. “Jade!!!!!”

“What, I’m serious!” She laughs.

“You’ve been looking at that man like he’s dessert for weeks.” She shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. “I have not.”

“You literally stared at him while he was eating.”

Heat rushed my face. “I noticed.”

“Shut up.” She smiled.

“You know what I think?” She said, “ Jake is the first man who’s making you question everything you’ve spent your years believing.”

I opened my mouth but couldn’t find the words because for the first time all night I couldn’t tell if she was wrong.

My mind wandered away, I leaned back against the couch while Jade reached over and stole the bottle from my hands.

Jade glanced over. “You can stay here tonight.”

I didn’t argue, just nodded.

An hour later, we were lying on opposite ends of her bed, the lights were out and the room almost completely dark.

“Goodnight, lover girl.” Jade laughed quietly.

“Oh, shut up.” I rolled my eyes but somewhere beneath that embarrassment, sleep came in easier than it had in a long time.

The shrill of my ringtone echoed through my ear as it woke me up.

I groaned loudly. “Who dies this early?”

Jade throws a pillow at me. “Answer it.”

I checked the caller ID and it was Luca.

I immediately sat up.

“Talk.” I ordered.

His voice is urgent. “We’ve got a problem.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“A fight broke out at the café near West Street.”

My legs swung off the couch. “Civilians?” I asked.

“Yes.” He answered.

I grabbed my jacket immediately and said “I’m on my way.”