When He Falls Harder

If you had asked anyone in their neighborhood where Daniel was, there was a good chance they would point you in his direction and add, “Look carefully. That little girl must be somewhere around him.” And they would be right. Because wherever Daniel went, Amara followed. If Daniel was playing football with the boys, Amara would sit on a nearby pavement, cheering louder than anyone else, even when he missed a goal. If Daniel was sent to the market, Amara would suddenly remember that she needed something from the same market. If Daniel sat beneath the old mango tree behind their houses, Amara would appear with a bottle of cold water and a smile that could light up the dullest afternoon. And if Daniel tried to escape to somewhere she couldn't follow, she would find him eventually. It was almost a talent. A very annoying talent, according to Daniel. They had been neighbors for as long as either of them could remember. Their houses stood side by side, separated by a short fence with a broken section in the middle. That broken section had become their unofficial gateway. Daniel had been the first person Amara played with as a child. He had taught her how to ride a bicycle, how to climb the mango tree without tearing her dress, and how to whistle using two fingers. He had also been the first boy to make her cry over something as silly as refusing to let her join his football team. But even then, she always came back. She had loved him long before she understood what love meant. At first, it was simple. Daniel was her favorite person. He made her laugh, stole the fried plantain from her plate, and sometimes defended her when the neighborhood children made fun of her. Whenever she fell, he helped her up. Whenever she was scared, he told her there was nothing to be afraid of. And whenever other children chased her away from their games, Daniel would sometimes take her side. Sometimes. Those little moments became precious to Amara. She collected them quietly, like beautiful things she was afraid someone might take away. As they grew older, however, something changed. Daniel became taller, more confident, and increasingly aware of how other people saw him. He made new friends, developed new interests, and began to care about things that had never mattered to him before. Girls, especially. Amara, unfortunately, remained Amara. She still waited for him after school. She still looked for him whenever she stepped outside. She still remembered the smallest things about him, including his favorite snacks and the fact that he hated being disturbed whenever he was in a bad mood. She noticed when he got a new haircut. She noticed when he stopped wearing his old wristwatch. She even noticed when he started smiling at a particular girl who lived three streets away. What she didn't notice was how much Daniel had begun to resent her presence. Or perhaps she noticed, but she refused to believe it. Because how could someone who had once held her hand while crossing the road suddenly find her hand embarrassing? How could the boy who had spent years calling her his little shadow suddenly wish she would disappear? She would soon find out. --- Their first year of high school was supposed to be exciting. A new school. New classmates. New experiences. For Amara, it was another opportunity to spend time with Daniel. They had both gained admission into the same school, and when she discovered they would be attending the same institution, she had been so excited that her mother teased her for talking about it throughout dinner. "At this rate, Amara," her mother had said with a laugh, "you will follow that boy into his university." Amara had blushed. "Mommy, we're just friends." Her mother had raised an eyebrow. "Of course." Amara had laughed along with her, but deep down, she knew her feelings were no longer the same. She liked Daniel. Not the way she liked the other boys in her class. Not the way girls giggled whenever a handsome senior walked past. She liked him in a way that made ordinary things feel important. If he smiled at her in the morning, her day became better. If he spoke to her a little longer than usual, she would replay the conversation in her head before falling asleep. And if he ignored her, she would spend hours wondering what she had done wrong. It was a foolish kind of happiness, the sort that depended entirely on another person's attention. But Amara didn't know that yet. On their third day at school, she arrived early and found Daniel standing near the basketball court with three of his friends. "Daniel!" He turned. Her face brightened as she hurried toward him, adjusting the straps of her schoolbag. "I saved you a seat in class. The one beside the window. You said you liked sitting there, remember?" One of his friends, Michael, laughed. "Guy, your wife has arrived." The others burst into laughter. Amara's cheeks warmed. "Stop it," she murmured, looking down. Daniel didn't laugh. He didn't smile at her, either. He simply turned back to his friends. "She's not my wife." "I know, I know," Michael replied, grinning. "But everywhere you go, she follows. Are you sure you people aren't secretly dating?" "Michael, shut up." The sharpness in Daniel's voice surprised everyone. Especially Amara. She stood there for a moment, clutching the strap of her bag, unsure whether she should laugh along or walk away. Daniel finally glanced at her. "What are you still standing there for?" She blinked. "Nothing. I just—" "Go to your class, Amara." The words weren't particularly cruel. But the way he said them made her feel like she had done something terrible simply by being there. She nodded quickly. "Okay." Then she walked away. She didn't cry. Not immediately. She waited until she was inside the classroom, sitting in the seat she had saved for him, before she allowed the tears to gather in her eyes. She wiped them away before anyone could notice. Perhaps he was having a bad morning, she told herself. Perhaps he was embarrassed because his friends were teasing him. Perhaps tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow, she decided, she would try again. And she did. --- For weeks, Daniel's behavior continued to change. Sometimes he spoke to her normally, and those moments gave her enough hope to endure the days when he acted as though she barely existed. Other times, he deliberately walked ahead of her when they left school. If she called his name, he pretended not to hear. If she approached him while he was with his friends, he would find an excuse to leave. And whenever she asked whether she had offended him, he always gave the same answer. "I'm fine, Amara." But he wasn't fine. He was tired. Tired of the teasing. Tired of his friends calling her his girlfriend. Tired of turning around and finding her standing behind him. At least, that was what he told himself. He never stopped to consider why her absence bothered him when she was gone for too long. He never wondered why he sometimes looked toward the school gate in the mornings, expecting to see her arrive. And he certainly never admitted that, despite his complaints, he had grown accustomed to her being there. To Daniel, Amara was simply a part of his life. Like the road leading to his house. Like the mango tree behind their homes. Like the familiar sound of her mother's voice calling her inside every evening. She had always been there. And because she had always been there, he had never imagined a life in which she wasn't. Until the afternoon he finally said the one thing she had spent years hoping he would never say. It happened on a Friday. School had closed early, and most of the students were already leaving the compound. Amara found Daniel near the gate, laughing with a girl from their class. Her name was Vanessa. Vanessa was beautiful in the effortless way that made other girls straighten their backs whenever she entered a room. She had long braids, a confident smile, and the kind of personality that attracted attention without demanding it. Amara had noticed Daniel looking at her several times. She had also noticed the way his voice changed whenever Vanessa spoke to him. Still, she approached them. "Daniel, are you going home now?" He glanced at her. "Yes." "Oh, okay. I'll wait for you." Vanessa looked between them, amusement flickering across her face. "She's your girlfriend?" "No," Daniel answered immediately. Amara's smile faltered. Vanessa laughed softly. "Then why does she follow you everywhere?" It was meant to be a joke. At least, Vanessa seemed to think so. But Daniel's expression hardened. "That's exactly what I'm tired of." The words fell between them. Amara stared at him. "What?" Daniel exhaled impatiently, running a hand through his hair. "Amara, can you just stop?" "Stop what?" "Following me everywhere!" His voice was louder now. A few students walking past turned to look. For a moment, Amara could only hear the beating of her own heart. Daniel shook his head. "I'm serious. I'm tired of it. Everywhere I go, you're there. Every time I'm with my friends, you're there. I can't even talk to another girl without you showing up." "I wasn't—"