Desired

I sit on the last stair with my suitcases packed and a book in my hand contemplating my life's choices. Well my mother's life choices anyway. I remember her coming home from work the day my life went to hell, she had stayed a whole week this time at her job. My mother, Rachel, works as a flight attendant and sometimes she's gone for weeks on end. That week in particular was no different, that is, until she barged into my room with a huge smile on her face. I had thought it weird but left it alone, until she spoke the words that completely threw my life upside down. "I got married!" She screamed in my face with excitement lacing her tone, I felt the air leave my body and my hazel eyes widen. She had to be joking, she just had to. But she wasn't, she had gotten married and didn't even think that she should at least call her daughter. I stood there shocked, my mind not wanting to grasp the meaning to her words, but it was the truth whether I accepted it or not. My mother had gotten married without even telling me. I feel the tears push their way forward as I recall the horrid day. This isn't fair. I have to just pack everything up. Everything I know and love, my best friend Mia who lives right across the street from our house and her little brother Philip. The people who are my family even if they aren't related by blood, and I have to leave them to go play house in an apartment with my mother and her new husband. This isn't fair. I was a terrible mess after my father had died and they were the only ones there for me. Mia's parents treated me like their own daughter and even got me the help I needed when they found out about my few episodes. And my mother? my mother stopped talking to me. She started drinking and partying as a way to handle the pain of my father's death, but she forgot about me and the pain I was feeling. I became irrelevant in her world. I had no one but Mia and her beautiful family and I owe them a lot for loving me and being there for me in a time when I needed it the most. I wipe away the tears running down my cheeks, frustrated by the unfairness of the situation. Mia and I cried like babies when I told her that I would be leaving, she even threatened to punch my mother in the face. I had to stop her from actually doing that....... several times. I open one of my suitcases and take out my inhaler, removing the cap and attaching it to my mouth as I breathe in. I hear a car pull into the driveway as I'm putting the inhaler back into my bag. Well here goes nothing. I think, nervously tugging on my shoulder length curly hair. I'm supposed to be meeting him today and I'm not thrilled. The door opens and I stop breathing, inwardly preparing myself for the worst. My mother walks through the door and a figure follows behind her, they both turn in my direction and my mouth drops open when I see him. What the hell? What the actual hell? Is that? No it can't be. I stare at him with wide eyes. Multiple tattoos fill every available space on his skin and there's even a small hoop piercing in his nose. His muscles bulged as he folds his arms, staring at me as much as I was staring at him. But I didn't care to be polite because this couldn't be possible. My eyes slowly make their way up to his face, almost scared to confirm my suspicion. His piercing blue eyes lock with my hazel ones and my face flushes as I immediately avert my eyes to the floor. There is absolutely no denying who he is, I've seen him on the news more times than I can count on one hand. The person standing in front of me is no one other than Elijah Alejandro, famous mafia boss of the Barksdale Watchdogs; known for their involvement in illegal drugs, gun trafficking and killing anyone who stands in their way in brutal and unspeakable ways....... and he's married to my mother. How the hell is he married to my mother? "Renée this is Elijah," my mother says happily as Elijah extends his hand for me to shake. I slowly stretch my hand to meet his and he grasps it firmly. I watch with wide eyes as his hands swallow mine. I always feel small with my skinny frame and meager height of five two but in the presence of Elijah Alejandro I feel absolutely miniature. I pull my hands out of his grip as soon as its long enough to be considered polite. "Ciao Renée," He says to me in a deep voice and I swallow the knot forming in my throat. (Translation: Hello Renée) "Is everything packed?" My mother asks and I nod my head, looking at the house that I grew up in for the last time. The house where I cried and smiled and played with Barbie dolls with Mia, the house where I loved and was loved back. The house where a happy and normal family lived, well at least until my father died. "Yeah everything's packed." Including my broken heart. I answer, my voice thick with emotion but I would not cry in front of her, she doesn't deserve my tears. Elijah reaches behind me to take one of my suitcase and I jump back startled by his sudden move. "You don't need to do that," I say grabbing it from his hands, he gives me a dangerous look and pulls it back into his hands easily. "Get in the car we're leaving," he orders in a bored tone and a slight tremor makes its way down my spine at the undeniable authority in his voice. My mother gives him a kiss on the cheek before making her way to his car. "Come on Renée let's go!" she calls and I turn around giving the house one last look as I follow her out the door. My heart breaking all the way to the car