After the Snow

Chapter 19 - Goodbye

Chapter 19

Goodbye

Santa's Workshop is an amazing place, let me tell you. Everything was covered with extravagant, popping colors that you just couldn't tear your eyes from. Every tiny object that caught your eye seemed to be oozing magic; it was in the spirit of the place. Standing in the middle of it, it was as if I couldn't possibly imagine this place not existing.

Anthony found my amazement very amusing, to which I pointed out that he had grown up here, among the magic, and was not seeing this for the first time. He was magic, for crying out loud! From his point of view, he couldn't see the amazing miracle that this place was. There was no doubt in my mind that this was the heart and soul of happiness. For that matter, the center of every good feeling in the universe.

Don't even get me started on the elves. As soon as you got past being a giant in the room full of small people, they were all super friendly and ready to share their toy designs with me. It was the middle of the summer, so everyone was backed up on work, but that didn't stop them from taking a break to have a conversation with me.

"They're just happy to see a new face," Anthony joked when he had finally gotten mine out of the toy shop. The only reason I had left was because he had pointed out that they still had a lot of work to do...Plus he had promised me hot chocolate.

"Oh yeah, I can imagine," I joked back, giving his shoulder a hard nudge. "Having to look at your face for all those years...Must be rough." There was a snorting sound as he returned the nudge. It wasn't even that hard, but just enough force to make me stumble.

"Oh, sorry," He immediately apologized, grabbing my shoulders to steady me. Blushing, I turned my head away, pretending to examine a frozen fountain in the center of what looked like the town square. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Fine, fine," I dismissed, waving my hand in dismissal. He grabbed the waving hand and tugged me towards him, examining my eyes. Overprotective much? "Anthony, I'm okay, really," I laughed, blushing even harder at the way he was holding my hand. He probably didn't even notice it, but I was all too aware of the physical contact.

Or maybe he did notice. After a couple of more seconds of looking into my eyes intensely, a ghost of a smirk danced on his lips for a split second. I barely saw it, and probably would've dismissed it as nothing if he hadn't kept his hand gripping firmly to mine as we resumed our walk. My heart was racing like a rabbit;'s. What the hell was going through Anthony's mind?!

"We can go ice skating if you want," Anthony said, breaking the silence. "I know a pond that no one goes to because the ice is too thin."

"If the ice is too thin, shouldn't we go somewhere else?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. I certainly didn't have a desire to go plummeting into ice cold water. No thank you. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, making no effort to hide his smirk now.

"You just found out who I am and what I can do, and you honestly don't think that I can solve a small problem like thin ice?" For a moment, I stared at him blankly, my mind almost blank, trying to remember what he was implying. And then it hit me.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, smiling widely. Had I honestly forgotten I was with Santa's son? He was a magical being, he could totally make the ice thicker! "Sure, let's go then. How far is it?"

Anthony hesitated. "Pretty far, but we can get there in a few minutes." I stopped, wondering if he had some sort of magical way to get us to this pond. Then I realized we were standing in front of a barn, which I hadn't noticed before. Probably because I wasn't really paying much attention to my surroundings.

Don't judge, you wouldn't be able either if a super hot guy, who happened to be Santa's son, which by the way was a total turn on, was holding your hand.

"Wait here, I'll go get her," Anthony said, releasing my hand. I know this sounds silly, but when he let go it suddenly seemed much colder. Ridiculous, I know, because that isn't really possible, but I just loved the feeling of his touch. Does that make me a horrible person?

Now, when Anthony entered the barn, I thought he was going to come out with a horse. That makes sense, right? Well, apparently it doesn't when you're in the North Pole. He came out, leading a monstrous beast. It looked a lot like a mouse, antlers and all, with matted fur and a horrible stench. Anthony was beaming.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, my eyes wide. "You don't expect me to ride it, do you?!"

His smile faltered. "I know she's not the prettiest thing, but she's mine. My dad's reindeer are taken a lot better care of, obviously, but Tinsel's a sweetheart." This thing was his pet?! It looked like a wild animal, not a pet! "Come on, pet her!" Anthony insisted, grabbing my hand and, before I could pull away, placing my hand firmly on Tinsel's nose.

I stiffened. It's not that I don't like animals, it's that they normally don't like me. I've had negative experiences with almost every animal you can imagine. But, Tinsel didn't snort, charge, buck, or run. She nuzzled my hand gently and took a couple of steps forward. From up close, her eyes were a sparkling, milky brown.

"See, she likes you!" Anthony exclaimed, smiling wide again. I was transfixed on the reindeer. It was like we were locked in a staring contest, but it didn't matter who won. For the first time ever, an animal actually liked me. Finally, I was able to rip my eyes away.

"Okay, fine, I'll ride her," I gave in with a sigh. Anthony, who had already suspected I would cave, hopped onto Tinsel's back and held out a hand for me. There was no saddle, and there was nothing for me to step on. Tinsel was not a small reindeer.

"I'll help you, I promise. Just jump and swing one leg over," Anthony encouraged me, squeezing my hand tightly to try to give me confidence. What if I fell on my ass? Not only would my ass be soaking wet, but I would be mortified. Taking a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes closed and jumped. "See, that wasn't so bad."

I had actually made it onto Tinsel's back the first try. A smile broke out on my face at the accomplishment, even though I knew I would've fallen if it hadn't been for Anthony's help. Anthony clicked his tongue, and Tinsel started to run full speed ahead. Wobbling, I threw my arms around Anthony's waist so that I didn't fall.

Let me tell you, reindeer's can run fast! Trees were rushing by us in such a blur my stomach was beginning to get queasy. I nuzzled my head into Anthony's neck and closed my eyes. The icy cold wind was biting at my exposed cheeks and hands was ten times worse than when we were just walking. I was so cold my teeth had started to chatter.

After five minutes of hiding my face, I decided I really should risk a look. Everything was probably beautiful, and here I was missing it because I was being a baby. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and removed my face from Anthony's neck. And then I screamed, gripping Anthony even tighter.

"Anthony!" I screeched. We were at least thirty feet above the ground. "Anthony, make Tinsel land right this second! Now!" Never in my whole life had I been so terrified. I was convinced that any second we would fall off the reindeer's back and go hurtling towards the ground.

"We're almost there, Bree, you're fine," Anthony responded, twisting his head slightly so he could see me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Why didn't you tell me we were going to fly?!" I was beyond furious, even if it was just the fear talking. He could've at least warned me!

"Be honest, if I had told you, you wouldn't have gotten on." This, at least, was true. I would've sooner walked than fly on the back of a reindeer. Now that I look back, I realize what an i***t I was. Everyone knows reindeer fly, so why hadn't I been expecting it?

"If I live through this, I swear to God, I'm going to kill you!" I was probably gripping onto Anthony so tight he couldn't breathe, but I wasn't about to loosen my grip, even if he had mentioned it. The height was starting to get to me. My stomach was feeling queasy, so I took a big gulp of fresh air and hid my face again.

No more then two seconds later, we stopped moving. Suddenly I wasn't scared anymore and was able to open my eyes without my body threatening to get rid of my lunch. I didn't even wait for Anthony to help me, I just threw myself ungracefully off the reindeer and landed in a huge pile of snow.

"I hate you!" I screeched, standing up and brushing the white fluff off of myself. Anthony was in hysterics at my way of getting off of Tinsel.

"I thought you loved me?" Anthony wheezed, still gripping is sides and laughing. Like the immature child that he is, he even stuck his tongue out at me. With a huff, I turned my back at him.

We had landed legit in the middle of nowhere. There was a small, beautiful pond that sparkled in the sunlight. There were no tree's around, except one pine tree that looked like it was about one hundred years old. It was extremely tall and beautifully covered in snow. When I turned around again, Anthony was standing there with two pairs of ice skates in his hands.

"Where did you get those?" I asked, holding my hand out for them. He hadn't brought anything with us on Tinsel.

"I told you, I like it out here. I have hiding places for things so I don't have to bring ice skates out every time I come out here." He explained.

"Oh, so does that mean you bring lots of girls out here then?" I teased, placing a hand on my hip and raising one eyebrow. Apparently aware that he was giving me grounds to yell at him some more, he just closed his mouth and shook his head. "So you're sure this ice is thick enough?"

"Yes, Bree," He sighed, pulling on his last skate and standing up. "I wouldn't let you do anything that wasn't safe. Come on," Antony took my hand again and pulled me out onto the ice. I'm not a fantastic ice skater or anything, but I can skate without falling on my ass every few seconds. Well, Anthony holding my hand and helping me stay on my feet may have helped too...

We skated until the sun went down, laughing and just having a good time. If I'm being honest, I was happier than I had been in a long time. Scott had never made me feel like I did that night. Sure, I loved him, but it was a different sort of love. He made me happy, but not absolutely gleeful like Anthony did.

When we left the ice, I was shaking from the cold, but I had no desire to go back where it was warm. Somewhere in my mind, I knew what was coming. The day was over, the sun was down, and Anthony was minutes away from telling me it was time to go home. I could just feel it. So, I decided I needed to thank him for the day because that was what I had asked for. He had given me what I wanted even if it wasn't the best idea.

I threw my arms around Anthony's neck, giving him a huge hug. "Thank you for today," I whispered, "I had a lot of fun. It meant a lot."

"I had fun too," He whispered, pulling back just enough to look me in the eyes. My stomach clenched and my heart fluttered. There was an overwhelming feeling pressing on my chest; I just wanted to kiss him one last time. After these last few precious seconds, I would never see him again. I leaned up, and I swear he was leaning closer too, and then at the absolute last second, he stopped.

"Bree," He whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. I couldn't breathe. "We can't do this. Not again. Not now. You're engaged." And yet he didn't move his head, and neither of us showed any sign of moving. It was like we were stuck between giving into our feelings, or doing what we knew was right.

And then the moment was over, and he stepped away, holding a steaming mug of hot chocolate out to me. Where he got it, I didn't know, but I knew what it would do when I took a sip of it. This was it, that unavoidable moment that I had been dreading through all of the precious moments of that day. I grasped it, uncontrollable tears slipping down my cheeks.

Anthony didn't let go, though, and took a step closer to me again, so that the only thing separating our bodies was the warm mug of steaming drink.

"I-"

"Don't say anything, Bree," He whispered. We were standing so close that I could see the tears that were shinning in his own eyes. "Please, don't make this any harder than it is. Just take one sip, that's all it takes."

I didn't understand why I had to drink it. If he would just let me stay conscious during the trip home, I could squeeze a few more hours out of this doomed relationship. But I could tell by the way he was looking at me, with so much regret, love, and passion, that he would accept nothing less than me drinking the hot chocolate.

I lifted the cup to my lips, Anthony's hands still on top of mine, and let a huge gulp slip down my throat. It was so hot that it burned and didn't taste like anything, but immediately the world around me started to spin. I was crying hysterically now.

And then soft lips pressed to mine. Short and sweet, Anthony didn't kiss me long. Just long enough for me to remember just how much I loved his touch and kisses, just how much I longed to have him hold me in his arms. I could feel my heart breaking.

"Goodbye, Bree," He whispered, kissing me one last time. And then everything went black, and I knew this time goodbye was forever.