The Story Of Us

It's all about Granny

It's 4am and the house is quiet all accept for the sound of the coffee pot brewing. I love the smell of fresh brewed coffee. My husband however does not. At least at this time of morning he is asleep and I do not have to hear him tell me that stinks as would be what he would be saying.

It's auction day at the store. It's been a crazy long week so I hope that we all hold up with out falling apart before the day/night is over.

We have truly laughed all week....

A moment with Granny...(my mother)

My mother walks in on Tuesday of this week and shes laughing but is wearing a shoked expression on her face. Naturally that means she has a story to tell right?!

So she tells us she has this Asian accented male call her phone. She answers and off the bat ask this guy if he is calling for a Medicaid update call. To which he replies "No, its not about thay." To which she repondes "Ok, well go ahead."....To which he ask, "Is this Sharlene?". She naturally repondes with "Yes." This person on the other end proceeds to scream real loud in the phone and hang up.

Now, my Mom is just stunned.

Upon finishing telling me what just happened my son Marcus comes walking to the front of the store where I am laughing at my mothers expressions as shes telling her tale.

So, we decide. We need to have Marcus call this person back and do the same to him.

Marcus, gives us these expressions like we must be pranking him. We finally get him to realize we are being serious.

We have customers inside our store.

So, he heads outside.

In less than a minute qe hear Marcus scream ling and loud in the phone hes holding. He then walks back in returns the phone to his Granny and walks casually.back to work.

We, my mother and I continue to laugh for another ten to fifteen mintues as we now have to explain to the customers that all is well. We were being childish and made Marcus do what neother of us would do but wanted badly to do...right?!

So, get to Thursday. I have previously told my husband, Lionel of our funny of the day during one of our catch up conversations.

It's time for him to go hunting so he calls me at the store to let me know he is heading out. My Mother happens to answer the phone. My husband decides to scream in the phone copying the other guy....now, my Mother doesn't know it's my husband while he is screaming. She is on the work phone now and not her personal phone and she is at a loss for words.

Finally my husband starts laughing and tells her to let me know hes headed to the woods to hunt.

She spends the next hour in disbelief that my man has just done that to her.

The rest of us spend the rest of the afternoon trying to protect the store phone from my Mom.

Marcus is still walking around telling his Granny that his throat hurta and ita her fault for making him scream in the phone.

Story of the week...Its all about Granny and Marcus again.

So, my man, brings me lunch. We eat while I take a break for a few minutes. The man then gets ready to leave. I proceed to walk him out. He climbs in the truck and lean in to kiss him and giggle as I slide my hand up his shorts leg thats, you know, given me easy access to certain body parts.

In that same exact moment Marcus, whom is my oldeat son, thats married with lots of boys, comes walking up talking to my man and I.

Yep, I am caught. No Marcus doesn't realize it yet.

The man then proceeds to ask me if I found his wee wee.

Marcus proceeds to look down and sees where my hand is. His face turns red while turning to walk away.

Me and the man laugh, I kiss him once more and send him away.

I walk back in the store and ask Marcus if his face is still red and is okay to finish talking to me again yet.

Now at this point Granny, my mom, is working. Johnny, son number three is working. Both stop because now they need to know what I am laughing at Marcus for.

Now, for those of you that don't know, Johnny is married to a man. The son.in.law's name is Drew. My favorite thing to call John when he's on my last nerve is a pecker sniffer. Yeah, I am that Mother, Lord help my sons.

So, back to the story. My mother starts getting on to me for me being inappropriate.

I however think I was simply making my man smile. As his wife that is my job. We have been together thirteen years. I love watching him smile. He has one of the sexiest smiles ever!

Now John chimes in on Granny about her bad deeds starting this whole family affair as her and Grandpa created me. My mother, proceeds to denounce any part of me. Blaiming all of my angelic ways on my father. Which is probably true for the most part.

Now, I can't help but laugh as I tell them all to hush. My Mother does not. Next thing I know I have done called her a pecker licker and told her to hush.

Of course, she tells me to stop. Thats just gross. A few more pot shots are bantered about and finally, finally....I respond.

"Ok Mom. Marcus is a pecker head. Johns a pecker sniffer. You are a pecker licker. So, I guess the reality is your Grand sons act more like you then."

Too whcih my mother responds...."As long as it ain't like Marcus has cause that would be a whole lot of licking." Now my mother realizes what she has just said and is ten shades of red. I proceed to add the next layer of red by yelling "Johnyboy you are for sure your Grand mothers Grandson."

She declared she was leaving us all if we didn't hush.

(The family joke is we could have all been rich if Marcus's wife would let us pimp him out. I could never get her to agree to it tho darn it. Naturally that why we are all at work, wprking and making bad jokes!)

I wander what next Fridays weekly update will bring. Until Friday.