Déjà Vu

I startled awake. Groaning, I slid out of bed. Walking over to my closet, I picked out the outfit I had to wear today. Great. I get to wear yet another hoodie. It’s not like I had a choice though, if I don’t do as I know, who knows what will happen. Good god. I sound like the Mad Hatter. What I mean is that if I don’t follow today as it’s supposed to, my sensitivity could start up again and no one (mainly me) wants that. Gathering up the courage to have a conversation I already had, I walked into the kitchen. “Morning Mom,” I said. Now she’ll offer me cereal or a banana. “Morning honey. Do you want cereal or-” “A banana is fine, Mom. And don’t worry about my lunch today, I’ll just grab something from the cafeteria. Bye!!!” I hated making my mom feel useless, but I can’t differ from what I’ve seen. Let me explain: I don’t live everyday over and over, nor do I live the days twice. That’s just the best way to explain it. What really happens is I live everything as it is about to be, right before it happens. Like seeing the future, but in the present. It’s exhausting, but I can turn it off with a little concentration, and a headache the size of King Kong. Back to what I was saying. Once I’m at school, the route is always locker then class. No stops, no breaks, and certainly no talking to anyone. I mean, who would I even talk to? I have no friends, but that’s how it’s supposed to be as far as I can see. And as far as I can see is till today, at lunch, right after someone walks into the cafeteria and I faint. Todays the day, and I’m not sure I’m ready.