Chapter 34.1
1211 Words
“Your daughter has a hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. This is a condition where her heart muscles are thickening which make it harder for the heart to work properly.”
I stared at my mother’s facial expression as the doctor break the news to us. My mother is the toughest woman I know. She’s so strong that I thought she can handle the news. But as I see her face contort in pain and her tears slowly fall down from her eyes to her cheeks, I cannot help but to cry with her.
“W-What can w-we do t-then doc?” my mother who’s crying rivers already, tried her best to still speak. With every word she says, I can feel her breaking into tiny pieces.
“Unfortunately, this disease has no cure,” the doctor answered.
“What do you mean doc?” Uncle Loui asked because my mother is nowhere near in speaking anymore.
“There’s no cure for Erina’s sickness, I’m sorry. However, we can administer to reduce the symptoms she’s experiencing such as chest pain and arrythmia,” the doctor tried to explain.
“We can prescribe blood thinners and beta blockers to help reduce how strong the heart muscle squeezes and slow the heart rate so that the heart can pump blood better,” the doctor explained further.
My mother was silent while the doctor explained the symptoms and the treatments we can do regarding my weak heart. Uncle Loui was busy tending to my mother. It pains me to see the people I love and care about wail because of me.
I feel pain too, I feel my heart tightening, I have difficulty in breathing. I’m also lightheaded and I can feel my ankles swollen even though I’ve been lying in this hospital bed for days now. I feel all this physical pain, but these felt like nothing compared to what my family is going through.
And I hate it. I hate seeing them suffer. I’d rather choose to suffer myself, but please don’t mess with my family.
“D-Doc……...”
Everyone in the room turn their head at my side when I decided to finally speak.
“Honey?” my mother was immediately at my side. She took my hand, grip it tight and kissed my forehead while crying. “How are you feeling, huh? Do you need anything?” she asked as she caressed my hair.
“M-Mom,” I said in the lowest voice possible that my mother has to bring her ear near my mouth just to hear the words I say. “Don’t cry,” I whispered.
But for some reason, instead of hushing, she cried even harder. I was supposed to talk to her when the doctor insisted to check my vitals first.
The next few days were uneventful. I’m slowly gaining strength which made my mother very happy. Angelo also visited me yesterday, but Uncle Loui decided to stay at home with him today because Angelo is still studying, and we want him to concentrate with his studies.
“D-Doc,” I decided to call the attention of the doctor who was talking to my mother about my medication.
“Yes, Miss Lee?”
“Aside from medications, is there something we can do so I can still live a normal life?” I bravely asked. Because I just realized that I want to do so many things. Things that I thought I still have a lot of time to do. But since that little bubble of mine is destroyed by my weak heart, then I have no choice but to do them now. Before I die.
“What do you mean Leila?”
“Mom, I don’t want to live if I’ll be strap to a bed all day. I don’t want a life like that. So, if there’s something, just anything that we can do so I can still stand up and do things on my own, then I want to do it,” I explained.
“Uhm…….”
We both look at the doctor when he said something.
“We can actually do a septal ablation,” what the doctor said made me curious, so I asked him about it.
“What does it do, doc? Will that help me?”
“Septal ablation is a procedure that destroys the thickened heart muscle with alcohol. The alcohol is injected through a long, thin tube, a catheter into the artery supplying blood to that area.”
“Is that a type of surgery, doc?” my mother asked the question on my mind.
“Actually no. It’s non-surgical and it only takes one to two hours in the lab. This procedure can treat symptoms and even prevent future complications,” the doctor explained further.
“Let’s do it!” I excitedly said as I looked at my mother. I was startled when I saw the worry and hesitation in her eyes.
“Mom?” I looked at her s I held her hand.
“Are there any complications to this procedure doc? How about the risk?” my mother asked as she held back her tears. But the gargle in her voice says it all. She’s worried. And I can’t blame her for that.
“Of course. Every procedure has its risk. And also, complications. Possible complications include disruption of the heart's electrical system, which requires implantation of a pacemaker.”
“Leila……” my mother showed tears now when the doctor confirmed her suspicions.
“But,” I was startled when the doctor spoke again. “The benefits Erina will get is far greater than the risks, so I advise you to take this,” the doctor said then excused himself which left me and my mother alone in my hospital room.
“Mom…...” I cried as I hugged my mother who’s already wailing and drowning in her own tears.
“Leila, I’m already so worried honey. I don’t think I can take any more, please. “
“Mom……… I want to go back.”
“Go back?” she broke the hug then looked at me with her confused eyes. “What do you mean Leila?”
“I want to sing again.”
“You can sing here! What are you saying?”
“I want to go back and be a singer again,” I wasn’t even finish talking when she stood up from the bed and held her head in frustration. “Please mom,” I begged.
“Leila! Honey you’re sick! And you want to go back in that hell? You’re sick! How can you think that?”
“Mom, I’m sick! And that’s why I want to go back. I love singing. And I want to do it even in my last breath. Mom please……...”
- Writer
