Erina's Curse (ENGLISH VERSION)

“Silas Kim! Silas, Silas, Silas Henry Kim!” He really is a star. I felt like my eardrums were going to burst any second because of the unwavering cheers of his fans. Women and teens are mostly willing to sacrifice their voices just to shout his name, patiently waiting for him to notice and spare them just one glance to compensate for all their efforts. I felt jealous. I wanted to shout too. I want to shout his name and let the world know how much I love him. I want to support him and tell him how truly amazing he is. But I can’t. The mere sight of me would make his bright smile vanish and I can’t erase those smiles. I can’t ruin his life again. It’s been a year now. One year has passed, but I still receive hate comments on my past YouTube videos. One year has passed, but I still can’t go out without having to hide my face and my identity. One year since, he last smiled at me, laughed with me and loved me. “Annyeonghaseyo! I’m glad to see you again and I hope you enjoy today. Please refrain from pushing and bumping each other, I don’t want any of you hurt,” he said with real concern on his face. Because of what he said, people inside the mall rumbled in cheers. He’s doing mall shows across the country for the promotion of his new big screen movie. Yes, I know his schedule and everything that’s happening in his career because I stalk all his social media accounts all day every day. It’s the only thing left that I can do to convince myself that I still know him. That he’s still my Silas, my love. I am not allowed to go out but I braved my way here because I miss him terribly. I just wanted to have a glimpse of his face. Just a glimpse and I’ll have the motivation to continue living this miserable life. “Baby….” I whispered while trying to stop my tears from falling. “I’m sorry….I love you…Fuck, I miss y---” “s**t!” His eyes! I met his eyes! I wiped my tears with the palm of my hands before turning my back to leave. I can’t, I just can’t face him. It hurts how his eyes changed from being shocked to being angry in a second. It hurts so much knowing that the person you love only feels anguished towards you. I ran and ran until I reached the fourth floor parking lot. I almost slipped because of rushing to get away from the place as soon as possible. Why are you even running, Erina? Do you really think he’ll waste time running after you? Delusional. I internally hit myself. Erina…..you are nothing but a bad memory, not even worthy of remembering. When I reached my white Lexus, I struggled to find the key in my bag because I was trembling so badly. I just wanted to get away from here. I badly wanted to go home and cry myself to sleep. Again. “So you still use that car, huh?” I stiffened. I know that voice. The same voice that used to say how much he loved me. That soothing voice, that even with the tinge of pain and sorrow, I still can’t help but to fall in love with. “Will you face me? Don’t act coy and shy now, because we both know you’re not that kind of person”. I can almost feel my heart breaking with every word that came out of his mouth, but I still tried my best to face him with a blank expression on my face. He still looks as dashing as ever. His face looks the same, but the way he looks at me isn’t the same way anymore. “I know that I do not own this mall and I don’t have the right to stop anyone from entering the premises, but you seem to forget that you promised not to appear before me ever again. That’s the least you can do after everything but you can’t really keep your word, huh?” he said every word with conviction and anger laced in his voice. “I’m sorry”, those are the only words I can say without breaking down in front of him. “I’m not saying that I’m okay now and that I’ve moved on from everything because clearly I’m not, unlike you. So please, will you stop appearing to my face like you’re the one whose hurting? Because I’m the one who is hurting here, Erina! You left me, remember?” He turned his back on me, unable to see how he broke me. Again.