ON HOLD Perfect Suffering: The Eternal Lovers Vol. 1

Her Majesty

Answer me,

A bird trapped knows only dread

Answer me,

A bird caged only knows confinement

Answer me,

A bird freed knows no bounds

Answer me,

Answer me,

Answer me,

A bird that’s free, answers to no one.

—

“From the moment of engagement. A bride is not to be seen until her wedding day.” Elvira, who’m I’ve grown to trust reiterates. “And the town will see her glory as pure from the beginning. You’ve told me this since he’s declared me his bride.” I laughed as she stuck the 100th hairpiece in my hair. “You need to know this if you’re going to be his queen. Plus, this is the first time I’ve seen the king truly happy since our fair ladies passing. She would have made a beautiful bride. Just as you will.” Her knuckles caressed my chin. I gave her a warm smile touched by her kind words. “Also, Arthur is insistent on having a word in hopes your memory comes back.” She sighed knowing I wanted to hear nothing of the royal guard. “You tell Arthur until I am wed, I want nothing to do with answering to him.” I huffed knowing why he wanted to talk. “I understand. It’s just, cooperation is customary. You’ll figure these things once you’re queen. Darius doesn’t say anything as to not upset you.” She sighed and I turned to her, “If Darius has issue, he can take that up with me. I will not be made to receive a punitive for my boundaries.” I maternally scolded her and she submitted. “Yes, your majesty.” She continued on my hair. “Elizabeth we must speak urgently!” Arthur came bursting through the doors in a heavy breath. “Her majesty has already made it clear-”“Leave.” I gave her a sharp glance and she nodded briskly exiting. He closed the door behind him as he began pacing. “I didn’t want to believe my ears when I heard. I thought ‘maybe you bedded him to stay here longer. For me’” He rambled on and I scoffed. “For you? For you?!” I immediately became heated. He was full of remorse and regret as I continued to turn down his subliminal advances. “I had it all planned; once I got you back, I’d kill the king, seize the thrown, and give you everything. Instead you’ve tortured me. Tormented me with the declaration of your love for another. I’m the one who must hand you over to him!” His eyes welled up. “You have strong nerve to talk about torture. I laid locked away in a deathless bed while you’ve become royalty. You took our dream and left me. I sang to you only to be met with cold darkness. Don’t speak to me about torture.” I spat removing my robe. I stepped into my waist carriage and he pulled my skirt up tying it. “My intentions were never meant to be cruel Elizabeth.” His voice was shaky as he laced the back grabbing my corset. “And if I still didn’t love you, I’d have the guards in here right now as I screamed assault.” I was cold and careless. He paused then continued lacing my corset. “By moon fall, you will become greater than me and everyone in the kingdom. You’ve won.” He finished the bow turning me around. “I’ve won nothing but a second chance.” I stared him deeply in the eyes. I took his face in my hands, “Once this kingdom falls. Only we will remain. Then you’ll have your second chance. Until then, don’t come into my room unless ordered by the king.” I brushed passed him sitting back at my vanity. “Elvira!” I shouted which was his cue to leave. He promptly left as he fixed his posture.

—

“ON THIS DAY OF OUR LATTER DAY SAINTS. I INTRODUCE HER MAJESTY, QUEEN OF HEAVEN EARTH AND ALL THY LORD’S LAND. HONOR YE!!!!” Arthur blared through a large bronze horn as he took a knee. His words could be heard for miles. Following him, the royal guard and every soul kingdom fell to their knees. My veil was lowered as I entered the chapel. I was gentle in my steps, savoring every moment. That was until I realized how ‘hungry’ I now was. I could hear the heart beat of every morsel and my mouth watered profusely. I swallowed my saliva causing my string of pearls and crystals to tighten. I gracefully passed by commoners whilst they threw various confections while also harmonizing various hymns. My gaze turned upwards as I was first greeted with the parting of the royal guard. As they kneeled proudly pointing their swords, Arthur stood perfectly centered. His tear stained face was stoic as he extended his decorated arm. I knew my indifference was necessary. I could not trust him let alone allow myself to show weakness like he has. He turned about face as I hooked my arm. I then was finally met with the gaze of my lord. A lions pelt painted bright red, purple, and with various jewels draped him proudly. His crown looked as if it could buy the world as the vein popping from his neck showed. I tried my best to properly curtsy which was met with a few giggles. I looked back compelled to snap at those who laughed, but Arthur tighten his grip pulling me back into the moment. “My lord..” Arthur also bowed as our arms unlocked. I approached Darius as our eyes remained glued to one another. A small pillar was then rolled in with a silver cloth covering the elevated surface. Elvira approached and I gave her a warm smile as her presence eased my nerves. Arthur began his hefty bellowed speech, but I was too focused on the silver cloth to hear. He waved his hand signaling Elvira to remove the cloth. A crown studded with yellow, red, and ocean blue jewels appeared. Gasps filled the room and the light from the glass mural’s refracted it’s beauty across the congregation. I made sure I sat up correctly as not to tilt the crown on accident. Elvira carefully approached while also mouthing instructions on how to wear it. I slightly nodded as the crown was placed. My collarbones wobbled as I tried off setting the weight with my spine. This moment was crucial. A crown that toppled signified an unfit queen. A crown that was still and silent signified a dutiful queen. I closed my eyes as silence engulfed the chapel. I don’t know if it was my lack of breath and heartbeat, but I felt as if I’d be transformed into a marble statue. Muffled cheers filled my ears as horns and horses cried out. I fluttered my eyes open as Darius took my hand again. We proudly stood and everyone bowed their heads. Everyone expect Arthur, who’s eyes met mine. I knew he wouldn’t sit back and comply in such an intimate moment that wasn’t ours. I knew this was just the beginning of his advances. I knew his love for me wouldn’t die, as well as my love for him.

—

“Your nervousness is confusing my lord. You’ve already had me.” I grabbed Darius’ hand tightly as we stood in front of his sleeping quarters. “Your innocence is effervescent.” He held a torch lantern shining it on our faces. “Even after already having you, you still carry yourself in such a pure nature. Sorry, if I’m stunted by that.” He kissed my forehead before pushing the door open. I was met with flower petals flowing between my toes as the smell of vanilla and lavender kissed my nose hairs. The warmth of his fireplace engulfed me as he closed the door behind us. He snuffed out the lantern placing it down before taking me in his arms. He started by removing my hair pieces slowly which caused the tension between us to rise. Next, he removed my bodice carefully. He was already scantily robed which took pressure off of me to do the same to him. “I’ll kill a thousand men for you. I’ll worship the ground you walk as if I were nothing but a peasant. I’ll kiss the ground you walk on as if it were the last thing my lips tasted.” He kneeled in front of me as he pulled my skirt and cage down. I could feel his bated breath between my legs sending chills over me. “I wouldn’t want anything less my lord.” I warmly held his face while he wrapped his arms around me. I was lifted off the ground and carried to the bed. “Kingdom’s will fall..” he rested me gently, “..because no other queen.” My legs were slowly separated, “Will lead a king the way you lead me.” He removed his robe in a single swooped, his harried muscular frame danced in the warm light. He climbed on top of me not breaking our eye contact. Up until this moment, the only other man I gave fully my body to was sitting obsessively outside the chamber window. His bleeding heart screamed in my ears, and I simply tried my best to block him out. “Do you wish to have me?” Darius was practically breathing down my throat while our lips teased each other. Without a word, I ran my tongue across his mouth blending it into a passionate kiss. Like clockwork, his c**k was thrusted inside me and I tried my best to give a convincing wince of pain. He hadn’t been fully inside me before, and I didn’t count his c**k in my mouth before as an equivalent of this moment. As our kiss broke, he leaned up reaching for a chalice of wine. He took too big gulps before starting his long strokes. My entire body was warm and on fire. I ran my hands over his chest which felt like an stone wall. As he increased his momentum, my nails dug into him aggressively. He loudly groaned before collapsing forward. “You’ll be the death of me.” He whispered even more aroused by the scratches. I wrapped my arms around him as he wrapped his around my ass. I licked his blood from beneath my fingers in order to satiate my hunger enough to not rip his throat out. I kissed his neck and tightened the grip of my thighs. I flipped us over assuming my rightful position on top. He took my hips in one arm as he attempted to guide me. I didn’t need assistance, rocking myself back and forth causing the 1,000 pound bed to even shift an inch. “My..queen..” his now submissive voice vibrated and I could feel him trying not to c*m. This was my moment. My moment to be the ‘one’. The one the kingdom belonged to. The one calling the shots. “Ahhhhhh..” he buried his face into my chest as our c*m spurted from between our crotches. We simultaneously threw our heads onto bed cushions in a sweaty mess. I leaned over him grabbing his chalice throwing down the rest of the wine. “How am I gonna quit you?” I seductively spoke laying in his chest. “You’ll have to kill me to quit me, my love.” He stroked my hair and I finally admired his beauty instead of being blinded by my success.

—

SOMETIME LATER.

“Your majesty. When was the last time you bled.” Elvira ran the sponge over my breasts and stomach. “Excuse me?” I was caught off by the question. “I’ve bathed you every day for a full moon. Yet you haven’t bled once.” She ran her hand over my lower abdomen. I didn’t respond which prompted her to enter my toiletry. She came out with a bucket of my urine and a iron rod. She then took a sharp chisel and began scraping iron powder into the urine. After a few moments, “Congratulations my queen. The king has given you a son.” She tilted bucket forward showing a frothy white foam collecting. “That’s..impossible.” I looked down knowing the truth, knowing I couldn’t bare a child. “We cannot control these things. It’s a blessing from the heavens. You’ve secured our kingdom for another generation.” She happily dumped the urine back then came back, continuing to bathe me.

After my bath, I walked to Darius’s wing holding the iron rod and chiseled behind me. I was determined to prove to myself I wasn’t pregnant. Thankfully, he was still sleep as I entered his quarters. I made my way to his toilet taking the tools in hand. I did exactly as Elvira, scraping the sparky powder into his urine. “See. Pure hocus pocus.” I said to myself as I watched the obviously non-fertile urine froth. “Morning nausea?” Darius cleared his throat from a far and I hid the iron and chisel. “Yeah..something like that.” I looked over my shoulder pretending to wipe my mouth. I put the items in a crevice beneath the toilet as I fixed myself. I exited the room met with Darius looking concerned as he sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s the matter?” I nervously approached him. He looked down for a second before grinning. “I’ve witnessed you.” He says blankly. My motionless heart dropped, “Witnessed what?” I came closer. “Look at you, my love. The way you hold yourself?” He mimicked me holding my stomach. “Your guarded self-protectiveness.” He got up taking my face, “And now..morning sickness and ‘that’? I saw Elvira sneak food into your chamber this morning. Are you with child my love?” His eyes filled with joy as he was certain I was. I didn’t know what else to do or say besides nod. He embraced me, “Thank the gods!” He declared spinning me around. “We must alert everyone of such good news.” He put me down prepared to leave, but I took his arm. “I don’t want the people to know yet! I’m worrisome of such a thing.” I held my stomach backing away slightly in ‘fear’. “Of course. Child birth can be deadly. For the both of you. You don’t need such stress.” He placed his hand over mine and I was moved by his endless compassion. I felt sick, not from my hunger, but from the knowledge that I was carrying a lie that could expose who I am to the world all over again. A barren queen with everlasting life is something out a dark folklore, and I was living proof. “I promise our child with grow to either be the finest prince or princess to grace this land. He leaned over kissing my navel. “Indeed..” I held him. What have I done?

—

“It’s hurts.” I laid in a fettle position as my stomach growled profusely. “I’ve already given you so much green sage and poppy. You have to go through the pains my queen. It’s all apart of growing life.” She stroked my sweat soaked hair. “I don’t want sage or poppy! I need..” I trailed off as my lungs painfully took in air. “What? What is it you need?” She leaned in worried. I turned away dismissing my words. Even though I’d trust her with my life, she was too much of a liability to reveal myself to. I began writhing as the pain grew. A heavy knock could then be heard from the door. “ENTER.” I painfully allowed. “The king has ordered me to the queen’s bedside. You are relived for the night.” Arthur rushed in with a bucket of boiling water, a cloth, and golden goblet. I took note of a passing glance between the two as Elvira exited. I couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy in me even I was the one playing the game of adultery. My love for him was still undying. After she left, I quickly sat my weak body up. “I need to feed.” I held my stomach not able to witstand the smells around me. Arthur looked reluctant as I pleaded. He then carefully scooped the boiling ‘water’ with the goblet which was actually warmed blood. “It’s from a 14 year old prisoner. They died from tumors, but I boiled the blood for safety.” He explained and I fanned it away to his dismay. “Don’t look at me like that. You may feed on penniless prisoners, but I need something pure and directly from the source. I refuse to drink blood from the catacombs.” I got up chucking the tainted blood into the fire. “That’s hard to come by without suspicion.” He began removing his light armor. He took the goblet back as he dug his sharpened nails into his palm. I stopped him before he could pour it, “It’s the only pure blood you’ll have until I find the proper subject.” He explained and I shook my head. I held his wrist over lips as his dripping palms filled my nose cavity. In a swift motion, my teeth were sunken in. My eyes rolled back as the warm mercury flavored honey swam down my throat. As quick moments passed, Arthur became agitated, “That’s enough, you’ll kill me!” He tried moving away, but my strength grew immensely. “Elizabeth please.” He tried talking me down from my high. I eventually let go as we both collapsed on the bed. My face was bloodied and my body satisfied. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve tasted such beauty..” I licked my lips as the cascade of the fireplace danced through my hazed eyes. “And..I am gratefully sorry to have robbed you of such a pleasure.” He took his bloody hand into mine. I was too out of it to turn him down, but truthfully, I didn’t want this moment to end. “It’ll be a moment before you can feed again. I’m took weak for another. I need to find someone pure and willing.” He got up walking over to a cold wash bin. “No.” I simply responded. He looked back confused, “This will suffice. You will come to me once a week. Between that it is up to you to maintain your strength. If you die while I feed, that is on you.” I explained as I finally came down. He looked as if he wanted to protest, but was relived I was allowing him in my presence. “As you wish my queen.” He bowed before swiftly leaving and putting his armor back on. I rolled over as these past weeks settled into me. I went from being the daughter of a prostituted witch, to the queen of the most powerful nation in the northern hemisphere. What kind of a blessing owed for such a cruel being as me?

~~~~~