Always a Friend

2. Tanner

2

TANNER

I was the family screwup. My parents and siblings would never actually say those words. They were too nice for that. But it didn’t make them any less true.

Yet, out here, with a board under my feet, I could almost forget. Almost.

I dropped down into a wave that was far from perfect, but it was the best I’d get today. Whipping my board around, I aimed for the beach as I steadied myself, willing the dark thoughts to go away.

I wasn’t a failure.

I owned a business, one that was finally on firm footing after a strong winter full of tourists and snowbirds. Sure, the only thing of value I had, other than the shop, was a scraggly dog I took in as a stray. But that had never bothered me. Not out here.

The wave petered out, and I jumped into the warm water of the Gulf, letting it swirl around my legs. I couldn’t bring myself to head out for another wave, so I trudged up the beach. Throwing my board to the sand, I sat beside it, a giant grin on my face.

I never felt better than when my legs burned and saltwater stuck to my skin.

A few months ago, my oldest brother put every bit of his savings into helping me restore the Surf Hut after it was nearly destroyed by a hurricane. He didn’t expect it back, that wasn’t who Shane was, but I hated the idea that he’d done it in vain, that I wasn’t worth his faith.

I was determined to prove I was, and I was so close.

I rested my arms on my bent knees and leaned forward as I watched the other surfers. Today, there were only two more out there. Nate Madison, Gulf City’s resident pro, and Jamie Daniels, an ex-Special Forces guy I’d come to like.

They were my two best customers at the Hut, but they also represented half of this town’s surf scene. That was why most of my sales went to tourists needing beach chairs or plastic junk that would remind them of the little town in Florida they’d visited that one year.

It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact I owned a business, that something tied me to the town I’d lived in for nearly my whole life. I’d always wanted out, always thought I could pick up and go whenever I wanted. I’d dreamed of chasing waves all over the world.

And yet, as I glanced back at the pale blue concrete side of the Surf Hut—which wasn’t really a hut—a smile curved my lips.

I’d gone through life rarely thinking of the consequences of anything I did. I was impulsive and sometimes foolish, never planning, never thinking about the future. But now, I could feel myself changing, growing.

Jamie ran from the water, board tucked under one arm. Scars stretched across his broad and imposing chest, but I knew he wasn’t as intimidating as he tried to appear.

“Hey, man.” He flipped blond hair out of his face. “Why’d you come in?”

“Waves are awful today.” I gestured to the lameness that was the rollers churning toward the beach. Summer seas were always a bit flat.

Jamie’s lips stretched into a smile. “Since when has that stopped you?”

We weren’t good friends, only surf friends. There was a difference. Jamie, Nate, and I had surfing in common and no one else quite got it, but we weren’t involved in other parts of each other’s lives.

I shrugged. “Just not feeling it today.”

“What are you guys doing?” Nate walked up the beach toward us, his shortboard stuck into the sand behind him.

Jamie gestured to me. “Something is wrong with him.”

“Nothing is wrong with me.” I scowled.

“Something looks wrong with you.” Nate shielded his eyes to peer down.

“I’m fine.”

Jamie dropped his board and sat beside me. “I’ve heard that before.”

Nate followed suit, the two of them flanking me.

“Do you ever…” I started before pausing. “Do you ever wonder if we’re supposed to be experiencing more in life?”

Neither of them answered, and I realized how stupid I was for mentioning it. Jamie spent a decade going on secret missions in foreign countries, saving lives and tracking terrorists. And Nate… He’d won some big-time surf competitions and now owned a successful gallery in town with his wife.

Then, there was me. Single in my thirties with a fledgling business, a tiny apartment, and a reputation for taking nothing seriously.

“Tanner.” Jamie gestured to the surrounding beach, the Hut at our back. “This is yours.”

“I don’t own the beach.”

“No, but you’re the reason it recovered the way it did after the hurricane last fall.”

“Check it out.” Nate pointed to the water, where a giant dark shape moved slowly toward shore.

I watched as it stopped. A few tourists in the water screamed and ran toward the beach, fearing a shark. We knew differently.

This was Florida, after all.

“I love this time of year,” Jamie said.

I nodded in agreement. When the gulf warmed, manatees made their way from the rivers into the open ocean. Standing, I edged toward the water, walking in until it was waist high and I was only feet from the animal.

A brown head broke the surface, its eyes finding me and staring. The manatee didn’t move, and neither did I.

All my doubts, my negative thoughts, washed away, and I could think clearly. I didn’t get any closer, didn’t reach out to touch it. That was a no-go for me. Sea animals deserved to be respected, observed, but not touched.

A smile curved my lips, and the manatee continued to stare.

Jamie’s voice calling to me broke the trance. “Tanner, your phone is ringing.”

Reluctantly, I turned and walked back up the beach. Jamie threw my phone at me, but I’d already missed a call from my mom. My eyes caught on the time. “Oh no, I’m late.”

Mom was going to murder me and make it hurt.

“I’ll catch you guys later.”

Picking up my board, I ran to the Hut. Water dripped across the floor as I entered. Hannah, the teenager I’d hired to help on weekends, looked up from where she sat behind the ice cream counter. There wasn’t a single customer in sight.

“Hey, boss.”

I shook out my long hair. “You good to close? I need to get going.”

She nodded. “Sure thing.”

I grabbed a duffel I kept in the storage room, left my board, and slipped into the bathroom to change into dry clothes.

By the time I was in my jeep headed toward the house I grew up in, the feeling of awe, of clarity brought on by the manatee was gone; and once again, all I could think about was how I was going to let my family down.

Parking on the street, I cut the engine and ran up the sidewalk to the front door, opening it without knocking.

The only sounds came from the dining room, so I headed that way, stopping in the doorway when I caught sight of my entire family around the dinner table.

They looked good together, like a family whose pieces fit. My two brothers, Shane and Johnny. Finley, our only sister. Finley’s fiancé and his sister, Mari.

My gaze didn’t see anyone else as it swept toward the gorgeous brunette sitting beside Finley. Mariana Morgan was my best friend, and I wasn’t sure what I’d do without her most of the time.

My mom was the first to acknowledge me. “Nice of you to join us, Tanner.”

I ran a hand through my damp hair that was wild and crusted with salt, just like the rest of me. Where my family looked put together, I looked like I’d just rolled out of bed. If that bed was in the middle of the ocean.

Mariana met my gaze, but the usual mocking laughter was gone, replaced by something sad. I wished I could get her away from everyone and demand to know what had happened to put the sadness in her eyes.

But I couldn’t, not now. So, I pulled out the Tanner everyone expected of me. “I aim to please. What’s for dinner?”

Mom sighed, but I didn’t miss her lips twitching into a smile. “Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Your plate is warming in the oven.”

I walked by everyone to get to the kitchen. Footsteps sounded behind me, and I turned in time to see Cole following me.

“Hey, kid.” I ruffled his hair.

Was it sad to say an eight-year-old was one of my closest friends?

Cole crossed his arms over his chest. “Were you surfing after Knox and I left the beach?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Then why did I have to leave?”

As bad a day as it had been for surfing, it was good for a young kid still learning to balance on his board. I leaned down, meeting his gaze. “Because your uncle is a grumpy Gus.”

“I heard that,” Knox yelled from the dining room.

I shot Cole a wink before pulling out my plate and following him to join the family.

Sliding into the open seat between my younger brother, Johnny, and my dad, I took a bite. Sunday night dinners at my parents’ house had always been one of my favorite things; except lately, being here only made me feel even worse about my failures.

“How’s business going?” my dad asked.

I swallowed. “Not bad.” It wasn’t a lie. We were doing well. I just wanted more.

“That’s good.”

My sister caught my eye, holding it for a second too long, as if she could see right through me.

“And Johnny,” Dad said, “what about you?”

The chatter died down as we all waited for an answer. It was a running joke in the family that none of us knew what Johnny did for a living. We only knew he always seemed to have money and free time.

My grandmother had some interesting theories.

Johnny grinned, taking a perverse pleasure in our interest in his life and the mystery surrounding it. “Business is great, Dad. Better than ever.”

“It would help if we knew what business,” I grumbled.

Johnny’s smile widened. “And spoil the mystery? No way.”

Whatever it was he did, he did it well. He wore expensive clothing, drove a BMW, and never seemed to worry about anything. I was proud of him, but I’d never understood why he kept such a huge secret.

In our family, few things were hidden. We’d find out eventually.