Always a Friend

1 MARIANA I hated surprises. Absolutely hated them. Occasionally, they turned out okay, but most of the time, they threw my entire world out of balance. I was a woman who liked order, plans. It made me a good businesswoman, but it also made me not suited for the life I built. “What are you doing here?” I couldn’t breathe. The man standing in my doorway was a ghost from the past, someone whose very appearance shocked me to the core. I gripped the door and stared at Kellan Matthews, all six feet, four inches of him. Was he still that tall or had he grown in the eight years since I’d seen him last walk out of this very house? “Mar.” He said my name on a sigh, as if he had a right to it, as if he had a right to any part of me. My jaw clenched. “I repeat, what are you doing here, Kellan?” His name rolled off my tongue in that familiar way, like it was ingrained in my muscle memory, like he was ingrained in it. Once, he had been. “I came back to town, and I guess I just thought…” He pushed a hand through his thick auburn hair. Hair I’d once loved to dig my fingers into as the golden sunlight glinted off the strands. Something dark churned in my gut, and I could tell the moment he saw it flashing in my eyes. “That’s just it, Kellan. You didn’t think. You can’t just show up here, not after all this time. What was going through your head?” “I’m sorry.” Regret flickered across his face, and suddenly I didn’t know what he was sorry for. Giving me the biggest surprise of my life? Walking away at the worst possible moment? Being here now? Maybe he was just sorry for himself. High school now seemed like another lifetime. It had been so simple back then. Kellan and I planned on being together forever, and after dating for three years, I thought we would. Then, I got pregnant, and everything changed. The day Kellan left me, I vowed he’d never again have a place in my life. I deserved better than him. But even after all this time, I found myself leaning toward him, wanting to hear him say my name again with that slight southern accent he had. He’d grown up in Tennessee before moving to our town of Gulf City, Florida, for high school. A car door slammed, and my eyes shot to the street, where two familiar boys walked toward the house. Breathing turned into a chore. Standing was nearly impossible. I reached out to grip the doorframe. “You need to go.” It was the only warning Kellan got, but I knew he wouldn’t heed it. That wasn’t like him. “Hey, Mari,” my brother called. “You’ll never…” Knox’s voice cut off as he finally saw the man standing in front of me. “You.” He rushed toward Kellan, but I jumped forward, blocking his path and imploring him with my gaze. “Please, Knox. Get Cole inside. Let me deal with this.” Cole’s eyes flicked from me to the man I never wanted him to know, curiosity in his eight-year-old gaze. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Cole Morgan.” Then, he stuck out his hand. “Knox,” I pleaded. Before Kellan did something stupid like introduce himself, Knox had Cole through the door and out of sight. I watched them disappear into the kitchen before turning back to Kellan. “Mar, he’s—” “Mine,” I said quickly. “He’s mine. Please just leave. It’s what you’re good at.” With that, I shut the door, cutting off his next words. Tears stung my eyes as memories I’d long since buried returned to the surface. Years of I love yous and planning for the future. The day I learned I was pregnant. The day I learned I was pregnant and alone. Knox appeared in the entrance to the kitchen, concern etched into the grooves of his face. “You okay?” I’d never been able to lie to my brother, but I couldn’t get the words out, so I just shook my head. Knox rushed forward to pull me into a hug. I collapsed against him, sobs escaping my throat. He led me to the couch but didn’t let go as we sat down. There’d been many years where my brother was only in town on occasion, breezing through on his way to bigger and better things. Then, months ago, he decided to stay for good, and it changed everything for both me and Cole. We went from only having each other to suddenly having a giant family, as Knox fell in love with Finley and her family adopted us. “Why was he here?” he asked. I lifted one shoulder. “We didn’t get that far.” Kellan was once Knox’s friend just as much as mine. He’d been two years ahead of me in school, in my brother’s grade, and there was a time the three of us were inseparable. Now, I was pretty sure Knox detested him just as much as I did, if not more. “Mom?” I looked up to find Cole standing in front of me. “Hi, baby.” I wiped my face and sat up straighter. “Momma is okay.” “You’re sad.” His lips tugged down, and he held something toward me. “I brought you a cookie.” My heart warmed at the thought. Since he was little, Cole and I joked that cookies could solve all the problems in the world. When he was upset, the two of us would pour a giant glass of milk and dunk them. I took it and pulled him onto the couch so I could hug him. “You’re a good kid.” “Mom,” he whined. I let go of him with a watery laugh, my gaze never leaving his face. There were traces of Kellan there, but I’d always thought Cole looked more like my mom than anyone, like he had some part of her inside him. “Who was the man who made you sad?” Cole asked. Knox jumped in with an answer. “Just an old friend of mine.” He stood. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get this sand off you so we don’t bring it with us to dinner. Mrs. Kelly would have my hide.” I watched them head down the hall, my chest loosening. They’d spent the day together at the beach. They spent a lot of days together, and it was beginning to show. Cole never had a father. Kellan saw to that. But he had men in his life who cared about him, and he tried to emulate them, right down to the way they walked. I was going to have to tell him about Kellan. The thought came swift and hard, like a sudden kick to the chest. Kellan returning to Gulf City hadn’t been in my plans. It didn’t fit into my organized life, the one I’d crafted so carefully. It was like a tornado ripping through everything I’d tried to forget, breaking the dam wide open.