The Chaotic Madness

I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling trying to fall asleep. I kept playing with the hem of the duvet. I stared at the ceiling as I remembered how I and mumma painted that. The ceiling had a moon and was full of stars. Me and Mumma both loved painting and we were pretty good at it. Whenever I couldn't sleep I always stared at the ceiling, which was the most beautiful memory I had of her. Ever since my mamma died I couldn’t sleep at night no matter how hard I tried. She had lung cancer- stage 4. When they found out it was too late. The doctors tried everything but nothing seemed to work. Ever since I was 6, she had always been in the hospital. Every day after school my brother- Neil used to go to the hospital and talk to her about our studies and tell her everything. We laughed and teased each other. Mumma always scolded bhaiya whenever he scolded me. Everything was perfect until that day. Her lungs started filling with water, the cancer had spread across her chest. The cancer eventually won and stopped her heart. I still remember what she told me in her last days “Ahana, no matter what happens promise me that you and your brother will always be together. Promise me that you both will never leave each other. And always remember dear, Mumma and Dadda love you and will always love you. I will always be with you. Your Mumma is always with you darling” I felt a tear roll down my eyes. I didn’t realize when I started crying. It’s been 5 years but still, her voice echoes in my ear every night. I always felt that mumma and dadda were hiding somethi- I heard a soft knock on my door snapping me out of my thoughts. I glance at the time- 3:07. Who can it be this early? I slid down from my bed and walked towards my door. I slowly twist the knob and open the door. It was Neil. I looked at him in confusion and tried to see if something was wrong with him. He never comes into my room like this. I frowned when I saw his eyes were puffy and red. “Neil bhaiya, are you okay? What happened?” I asked him cupping his face in my hands. “Can I come in Ahana? Please?” he asked me in a very soft tone. I nodded as he walked into my room sitting on the bed. I closed the door slowly and sat beside him. “What happened Bhaiya? Why were you crying?” I asked taking his hands in mine. “Can you-… can you massage my head? I can’t sleep. I tried to sleep but when I closed my eyes all I could see and hear was mom’s voice. I’m sorry I disturbed you but I need your help. My head is aching so badly and I feel like it will explode. Please Ahana can you massage my head?” His voice broke at last and I saw a tear falling down his eyes. I pulled him closer to me taking him in my embrace and he buried his face in the crook of my neck. My one hand gently caressed his hair and the other rubbed his back telling him that it was okay and everything would be fine. “Yes of course bhaiya. You don’t need to apologize, I wasn’t sleeping either. It’s okay and I’m glad you came to me.” I said rubbing his back as he relaxed a bit. I pulled away wiping his tears and he smiled at me sadly. “Thank you pumpkin” he whispered and I chuckled at the nickname. He always calls me that. I felt better when I saw a genuine smile on his face. I moved to my bed sitting in the middle with my back resting on the headboard. I settled a pillow in my lap and nodded at bhaiya. He slowly moved placing his head in my lap as he looked up at me. I smiled at him and started caressing his hair gently. He sighed and closed his eyes as he moved a bit. A smile crept on my face when I saw him relaxing. Neil bhaiya is 2 years older than me. But he looks the younger one and acts like he is a small baby around me. He is the best brother. He might seem like a baby in front of me but he is the CEO of my father’s company. He puts a mask on whenever he is outside which makes him look scary and grumpy. He was always there for me whenever I needed him and we had the best bond. We shared everything. Whenever he has a bad day he tells me to massage his head. But what he did today was quite surprising. I wonder what he is suffering from. He looked like he was crying all night. But I am happy that he is sleeping now. I rested my head against the headboard closing my eyes making sure not to stop massaging his head until I made sure he was asleep.