A Wife's Regret

Chapter 13

CHASE KARSON MANJARES' POV

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"Won't you eat your favorite cookies?" I asked her habang nasa loob kami ng jeep papunta sa school niya.

She was just quiet. I lied to her na nag-usap lang kami ng mommy niya, and we didn't fight, but I guess she didn't buy it.

"Ninang bought this for you..."

She was still frowning. Binuksan ko ang jar at tinikmam ang cookies.

"Hmm, tastes good."

Binuksan ko pa ang ilang pastries na binigay sa kanya ni Riel and tasted it.

"Come on... try them."

Ilang sandali itong tumitig sa akin habang ngumunguya ako bago niya tikman ang mga iyon. Napangiti ako nang bahagya habang pinapanuod siyang kumain. I knew hindi niya iyon kayang tiisin.

Naiwan ko ang hinanda kong pagkain para sa kanya, mabuti na lang at nailagay ko na agad ang tumbler sa loob ng bag niya. Mabuti na lang din at nagdala ng pastries si Riel for her. May kaakinin siya sa break time.

Marahan kong hinaplos ang buhok niya.

"I'll pick you up at lunch. Sabay tayong mag-lunch, you want that?"

Tumingin ito sa akin at marahang tumango.

"Let me see your arm..."

Marahan ko iyong kinuha at tiningnan iyon. Mayroon ilang gasgas, marahil sa pagtusok ng kuko ni Lia roon.

Parati akong may dalang first aid kit kaya naman napahiran ko pa ng gamot ang mga iyon bago kami makababa.

I kissed her bago ko siya hayaang pumasok sa loob ng campus. Mababa pa rin ang energy nito and I felt bad.

I was just thinking of her sa buong trabaho ko before lunch.

Ginamit ko muna ang sasakyan ng customer para puntahan ito tutal ay kailangan din naman iyong i-test drive.

She looked so excited to see me. Kasama niya si Xeri dahil malulungkot daw itong kumain mag-isa kapag iniwan niya. It was totally fine.

Masaya akong pinapanuod sila habang kumakain at nakikipag-kwentuhan sa akin about witches.

"Your Mommy's bad, right? Maybe she's a witch," Xeri said.

"No, Xeri. She's my mom. She's not a witch."

"Okay... sorry, Eli."

"It's okay. My mom is so pretty to be a witch."

"Yeah!"

Marahan kong hinawi ang buhok nito. I knew she would always love Lia kahit gaano siya maging malungkot because of her.

Napansin kong maraming baong pagkain si Xeri. Ang sabi niya, dinadagdagan ng Ate niya ang babaunin niyang pagkain for lunch para ma-share niya rin kay Eli. She also told me na masarap akong magluto dahil sine-share din ni Eli ang foods niya sa kanya.

I was just so happy that Eli found a real friend. Kahit paano nararamdaman niyang talagang bata pa siya.

"Can you buy us ice cream, uncle Chase?"

"Of course."

"Yey!" Agad tumayo ang mga ito at nagtatakbo na sa harap ng ice cream machine.

"Daddy, we need help here!"

I chuckled at nilapitan din silang dalawa. Hindi nila abot ang machine kaya ako na ang naglagay ng ice cream sa cone.

Their laughter of happiness made me feel better. Sapat na iyon sa akin. Maiksi lang ang oras ng lunch break nila kaya hinatid ko rin sila agad sa school. Kahit paano nagawa kong mag-focus sa trabaho.

Nakatanggap ako ng message kay Riel bago matapos ang trabaho ko sa talyer. Ang sabi niya dadalasan niya ang pagbisita sa bahay. I really appreciated her help eversince.

Madaldal na ulit ito nang sunduin ko siya sa school. Nakita nina Kaloy ang gasgas nito and they were upset again to me thinking na hinahayaan ko lang si Lia na saktan siya.

I no longer wanted to explain. Basta alam kong ginagawa ko kung ano ang tama, that was enough.

Tinulungan ko siyang gumawa ng homework niya at nakipaglaro pa ako sa kanya. She knew kung anong oras ang trabaho ko kaya siya na mismo ang nagligpit ng mga laruan niya and went to bed.

She also knew I won't leave hangga't hindi siya natutulog.

"Good night, daddy. I love you so so so much!"

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I love you so so so much, too."

I just prepared for work nang makatulog na ito. Hindi na ako nag-overtime pa sa trabaho. Umuwi rin ako paglampas ng ala-una.

Nakita ko si Lia sa living room pag-uwi ko ng bahay. Hindi ko na ito gustong pansinin pa pero siya ang kusang lumapit sa akin at nag-abot ng papel.

I looked at her for a while bago ko iyon kuhanin. Binukat ko iyon at binasa kung anong nakalagay doon. It was from Eli's school. Bill ng tuition fee niya.

Lia was paying her tuition semi-annually, which cost her 95,000 sa first bill. The next bill would be next week na 95,000 ulit.

"You think you really can handle everything?" she asked, looking straight into my eyes without emotions at all. "Pay for her tuition fee."

Kusang humigpit ang hawak ko sa papel. Alam niyang wala akong gaanong kalaking pera para ipangbayad sa tuition nito.

"Pay for everything starting now because you can no longer ask anything from me. Let's see if you can handle it all."

"I don't know why you are doing this," malamig na sambit ko. "Is it because of your pride? You want to see me struggle so you'll feel better? So you'll feel superior and feel na mas may kaya kang gawin para sa kanya?"

"You wanted to leave with her, right? Why do you seem scared now?"

"I am. I'm sacred for her. She would have to to stop her studies kapag hindi ko nabayaran 'to."

"So be it. A year late won't hurt."

I really couldn't believe her. She was really showing me how much she didn't care.

"Friday next week is the deadline. Pay for it and I will let you two leave."

Hinayaan ko na lang manikip ang dibdib ko habang pinapanuod itong humakbang palayo. Pinigilan ko ang sariling lukutin ang papel.

Hindi ko nagawang makatulog pa. Nakaupo lang ako sa couch habang nakatingin sa papel.

Limang libo nga wala ako, 95,000 pa kaya? Kahit magtrabaho ako sa loob ng isang taon hindi ko iyon magagawang ipunin.

Sinubukan kong manghiram kina Kaloy pero wala raw silang maipapahiram na ganoon kalaking pera. Sinubukan kong manghiram Kay boss na may-ari ng talyer pero hindi ako pinahiran nito. Maybe he was thinking na wala naman talaga akong maibabayad.

Sinubukan ko rin sa may-ari ng bar na pinapsukan ko pero hindi rin ito nagtiwala sa aking makakapagbayad ako.

Bawat araw nakakaramdam ako ng bigat sa dibdib ko knowing na wala akong ibabayad sa tuition nito.

Nawaglit ako sa malalim na iniisip nang makarinig ako ng busina sa tabi ko. Napalingon ako roon and saw a familiar car.

Binaba nito ang bintana ng sasakyan niya.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Sa... munisipyo."

"Come on, ihahatid na kita."

"Hindi na, it's out of your way."

"Okay lang. Wala naman akong gagawin today. Actually I'm bored. Come on..."

It took me a before I decided to enter her car.

Ngumiti ito nang malapad sa akin bago paandarin ang sasakyan niya.

"Hmm, may I know kung anong gagawin mo sa munisipyo?"

Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko ba rito or what.

"I just wanted to know... if they are offering scholarships for kids."

"Hmm, why? For Eli?"

Hindi ako sumagot. Nagpatuloy naman ito sa pagmamaneho hanggang sa makarating kami sa munispyo.

Mahaba ang pinila ko just to know na hindi sila nagbibigay ng scholarship for kindergarten.

I didn't know Reni was waiting for me outside. She asked me to enter her car again.

"Bukas na 'yung deadline ng payment, right?" she asked while driving. She heaved a deep sigh. "I guess their school... doesn't offer scholarship sa age range nila. I doubt you can get a scholarship din from the government or other institutions knowing na pumapasok siya sa international school. Maybe... you have to transfer her to a public school or a private

one with few thousands tuition fee para makakuha ka ng scholarship for her."

I couldn't say anything. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat tumakbo sa isip ko.

"Okay ka lang?" Maya-maya ay nag-aalalang tanong nito. "Namumutla ka na. Mukhang mahaba nilakad mo kanina. Ang init pa naman sa labas."

"I'm fine..."

"You know, I think kumain muna tayo. You look weak already. Kailangan mo ng energizer."

Hapon na at nakalimutan ko na ring magtanghalian sa dami kong iniisip.

Nagpahinto na lang ako rito sa isang karinderya malapit sa bahay para maglalakad na lang ako pauwi. I just didn't expect na sasama pa ito sa aking kumain. I was worried na hindi ito kumakain ng mga pagkain sa ganoong lugar, but I was relieved nang um-order ito ng maraming pagkain at mas naging malakas pang kumain kaysa sa akin.

"Xeri will be so sad kapag hindi na makakapasok si Eli sa school next week."

"Do they... accept promissory note?"

"Yeah, I think so. Kaya lang the interest is not good."

"I was thinking-- I was thinking of letting her finish the school year there and..." Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil napaubo ako.

"Here..." Inabutan ako ng tubig nito. "Hindi ka nga pumasok sa trabaho, you let yourself get tired naman looking for scholarship. You have to take care of yourself din kasi Eli loves you so much. Malulungkot 'yon kapag nagkasakit ka."

"I never got sick."

"Baka you never showed her."

I wasn't feeling well simula pa kanina. Siguro ay dahil lang sa init ng araw at haba ng paglalakad.

"Don't worry. I'll help you find a scholarship for her. I'll ask mom and dad since sila 'yung maraming kakilala rito."

"You've helped too much already."

"Maliit na bagay lang 'yon. It doesn't even require too much effort," nakangiting anito.

I had to takk to Eli that night. I wanted to let her know para hindi na siya mabigla.

I just told her na hindi maganda ang kita ng bakeshop, so I had to pay her tuition fee.

"I'll try my best tomorrow para makapasok ka pa rin sa school mo until the end of the school year, but after that... maybe I would need to... to transfer you to a different school. Is that okay with you?"

"I'll be sad, daddy..." malungkot na anito. "I'll be sad that I won't see Xeri anymore every day, but it's okay if it's for the better. I understand that we don't have money, daddy. I can study anywhere and work when I grow up, so you don't have to work anymore."

Marahan kong hinaplos ang pisngi niya.

"But I promise you... hindi kita pababayaan. I'll still try na dalhin ka sa magandang school."

"Matagal pa 'yun daddy, right?"

"Hmm-mmm, you'll still see Xeri. We'll still try to visit her."

Ngumiti ito sa akin. "Okay, daddy. I'll enjoy evey day with Xeri then."

Naghanda agad ako kinubukasan para kauspain ang sinumang in charge para magbaka-sakaling payagan itong tapusin ang school year. I was willing to sign a promissory note. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng ibabayad pero bahala na.

Ako ang nagmaneho ng sasakyan ni Reni because she requested it. Ang sabi niya sasama siya sa dalawa sa loob ng campus dahil may concern siya sa office and asked me to wait in the car at siya na lang din daw ang magtatanong about the promissory note.

I was expecting na aabutin ito ng isang oras pero 30 minutes lang ang lumipas nakabalik na ito ng sasakyan.

Inabot niya sa akin ang isang maliit na papel.

Wala sa loob na kinuha ko iyon at tiningnan.

I stiffened when I saw that it was a receipt. She paid 95,000.

Hindi ako makapaniwalang tumingin rito.

"W-Wala akong ibabayad dito."

"You can pay it 5 years, 10 years from now o kaya kahit kapag maputi na Ang buhok mo."

I still couldn't believe that she paid for it. Siya ang nag-iisang taong hindi ko man lang naisipang hiraman ng pera.

She chuckled. "Isipin mo na lang I paid for it kasi hindi ko gustong maging malungkot 'yung kapatid ko. She loves Eli so much na hindi nawawala sa araw-araw niyang kwento. Isa pa, you won't really like the interest. Binayaran ko na so you have zero interest."

I was speechless for a while. I was happy, but nervous dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya babayaran.

"'Wag kang masyadong ma-pressure. Mom and Dad have friends na maraming sasakyan. I hope masiraan sila so I will ask them to call you instead. They are rich. I'm sure they will pay you big."

"I... I really don't know--"

"Isipin mo na lang it's not a big amount at all. You can do a lot for us. I heard ngre-repair ka rin ng iba't-ibang gamit and pati pagiging tubero kayang-kaya mo. You could give us home service. Maraming sirang aircon sa bahay. You could also drive the car just like now para sunduin at ihatid kami ni Xeri sa school. I'll list my eveyday payment to you. Baka Hindi mo maramdmaan na you're paid na and remember that this is your start date."

"I really don't know how to thank you..."

She smiled at me. "You're welcome."

"I promise... just call me. You'll be my priority."

Lalo pang lumapad ang ngiti sa mga labi nito. "I hope you'll be more comfortable with me. Sorry ha, wala kasi akong friend."

"Gusto mo bang sumama sa talyer? Ipapakilala kita sa mga kaibigan ko."

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "Let's go! Dumaan tayo du'n sa kanto, let's buy boxes of chicken wings and a lot of foods. I would love to eat with them."

I remained looking at her nang makapasok kami sa isang restaurant habang nagtuturo siya ng maraming pagkain kahit nakabili na kami ng marami sa kabilang tindahan.

I just realized... she's too genuine.

She really deserved... a friend.