Notes on an Unsaid Love

Chapter 7

I smacked my forehead in frustration.

Great, Phoebe. You look like an i***t.

I quickly stepped away from him. It was getting too obvious that I was jealous.

“Gosh, Phoebe! This is so embarrassing!”

“Hey, girl! What’s wrong with you?” Mika asked, staring at me with wide eyes.

I blinked.

I had completely forgotten that Mika was standing right in front of me.

Was I seriously losing my mind?

I still couldn’t accept the truth.

I was in love with Lennox.

“Girl…” I sighed heavily before speaking again. “Okay, fine. I admit it.”

I took a deep breath.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I’m in love with Lennox.”

Mika just stared at me blankly.

“Obviously,” she said casually.

I groaned in frustration.

“That’s exactly what’s annoying! It’s obvious to everyone, but why is he so dense? How come he still hasn’t noticed my feelings?!”

Mika grabbed my shoulders and looked at me seriously.

“You know what? Stop making this situation harder than it already is. Just confess.”

I swallowed.

“But… Lennox only sees me as a friend,” I said quietly. “He doesn’t even see me as a woman.”

“And are you just going to stay like that forever?” she asked. She tapped my chest lightly. “This won’t end unless you tell him.”

I lowered my head after hearing her words.

The air around us suddenly felt heavier.

I pressed my hand against my chest, where my heart was beating so loudly.

“But… what if our friendship gets ruined?” I asked softly.

Mika sighed.

“Phoebe, it’ll get ruined anyway if you keep hurting like this.”

I looked up at her.

“You know what’s worse?” she continued. “Being with him every day… listening to him talk about someone he likes… while you just sit there quietly.”

I swallowed hard.

Because that was exactly what I was afraid of.

“I can’t handle that,” I whispered. “I can’t listen to him talk about another girl… especially if he says it right in front of me.”

“You already heard it earlier,” Mika said bluntly.

I froze.

She was right.

I already heard it.

And it hurt more than I expected.

She held my shoulders again.

“Phoebe, I’m not forcing you. But if you really love him, you only have two choices.”

“What?”

“Confess… or walk away.”

Something tightened painfully in my chest.

“Walk away?” I repeated.

“Yes. Because if you stay like this—his friend with hidden feelings—you’ll be the one who gets destroyed in the end.”

I stayed silent.

I didn’t know which was harder.

Confessing and possibly losing him…

Or staying beside him while slowly breaking inside.

I sighed and stared at the classroom ceiling.

“Why did it have to be him?” I murmured.

Mika chuckled softly.

“Because the people you never planned to love… are the ones who end up becoming your world.”

I closed my eyes.

Lennox.

Just hearing his name made something ache inside my chest.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated on the table.

Mika and I both looked at it.

Her eyes widened.

“Girl…”

“What?”

She slowly pointed at the screen.

My breath caught the moment I saw the name on the notification.

Lennox calling…

I placed a hand on my chest.

“Girl,” Mika whispered, “this might be your chance.”

I quickly walked away from her so she wouldn’t hear the conversation.

Knowing Mika, she’d definitely eavesdrop.

“Phoebe.”

Just hearing his voice made my heart race again.

“Are you okay? Where are you? You haven’t replied to my messages. Did something happen?”

For a moment, I wanted to scream at him.

I wanted to ask him why he was so clueless.

“Lennox.”

“Yes?”

He sounded completely unaware of what was going on.

“What do you think of me?”

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted it.

Shit, Phoebe.

I swallowed nervously.

Calm down.

He suddenly laughed as if I had just told a joke.

“What kind of question is that, Phoebe?” he said lightly. “Of course you’re my precious friend.”

My heart shattered.

But what was I expecting?

“Why? Is something wrong?” he asked.

I forced a small chuckle.

Silly me.

“Nothing. I’m just glad you see me as your friend… your precious friend,” I said. “Anyway, I’m busy right now. I still have something to do.”

Before he could say anything else, I ended the call.

Mika walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, looking worried.

I knew the truth already.

I accepted it.

So why did it still hurt so much?

I kept my head down while Mika held my shoulder.

I didn’t know how long we stayed like that.

Quiet.

Until she softly said, “Phoebe…”

I forced a smile.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay,” she said immediately.

I sighed.

“I accepted it already. I’m just a friend.”

“That’s not the face of someone who’s okay.”

I couldn’t stop it anymore.

My eyes stung as tears started forming. I quickly wiped them away.

“I’m so stupid, right?” I laughed quietly. “Turns out I was the only one imagining things.”

“You’re not stupid,” Mika said gently. “You just fell in love.”

I closed my eyes.

If loving someone alone hurt this much…

Maybe I should’ve never started.

My phone suddenly vibrated again.

Mika and I both looked at it.

Her eyes widened.

“Girl… it’s him again.”

I didn’t even need to check the screen.

I already knew.

Lennox calling…

I shook my head and declined the call.

“Phoebe…” Mika whispered.

“I can’t talk to him right now,” I said. “I might say something I’ll regret.”

A few seconds later, a message arrived.

Slowly, I opened it.

Lennox:

Phoebe, did I say something wrong?

Why do you sound like that?

Are you crying?

My chest tightened again.

I let out a quiet laugh.

He was always like this.

Concerned.

Kind.

But not in the way I wanted.

Phoebe:

I’m fine. Stop worrying.

His reply came immediately.

Lennox:

You’re not fine. I know you.

Tell me where you are. I’ll come.

I rubbed my forehead.

“See?” Mika said. “He’s concerned about you.”

“He’s like that with everyone,” I replied quickly.

She stayed silent for a moment.

“Are you sure?”

I didn’t answer.

Because honestly… I wasn’t sure anymore either.

Then another message appeared on my screen.

I read it—and my breathing stopped.

Lennox:

Phoebe, if someone hurt you, tell me.

I’ll deal with them.

I closed my eyes.

If only you knew, Lennox.

If only you knew that you were the reason.

If only you knew the person you wanted to confront… was yourself.

I took a deep breath and lowered my phone.

“What are you going to do now?” Mika asked.

It took me a long time before answering.

“…I’ll stay as his friend.”

“Are you sure?”

I smiled faintly, but there was pain behind it.

“That’s the only thing I can be for him.”

While I was taking notes, I suddenly stopped when the classroom door opened.

A girl walked in beside our teacher.

From the way everyone looked at her, it was obvious—

a new student.

I guess I wasn’t wrong.

“Class, quiet!” our teacher called out.

The entire room immediately fell silent.

“We have a new transfer student,” she continued. “She’s in the same strand as all of you, but due to financial problems, she transferred here through a scholarship.”

The teacher smiled and turned toward the girl.

“Would you like to introduce yourself, Miss Delos Reyes?”

The girl stepped forward.

She was beautiful.

Blonde hair, pale white skin, and a soft, gentle aura surrounded her. She looked like the quiet, intelligent type—the kind of girl everyone instantly liked.

My eyes unconsciously drifted toward Lennox.

And just as I expected—

he looked amazed.

I simply smiled to myself.

So this must be Hailey, the girl his friend once mentioned.

And honestly…

she really was beautiful.

“Good day, everyone,” she said politely.

“It’s a pleasure to meet my new classmates. My name is Hailey Delos Reyes, but you can just call me Hailey.”

Her voice was soft but confident.

“My hobbies are pretty simple. I love reading books, listening to music, and—”

She suddenly glanced toward Lennox.

For a moment, I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination.

But it looked like she was staring directly at him.

“And I also love singing.”

Right there.

In that moment.

I already lost.

Suddenly, I felt like going home.

Just to cry.

“Uy! Bagay na bagay kayo ng classmate namin na si Lennox!”

Someone from the back shouted teasingly.

The entire class immediately erupted in giggles.

Even our teacher chuckled.

“Oh? You both like music?” she said with a smile. “That’s interesting.”

More whispers spread across the room.

“They look good together!”

“Both singers!”

“Perfect match!”

I lowered my head and stared at my notebook.

I forced myself to keep writing even though I couldn’t understand a single word I was writing anymore.

It hurt.

It felt like something heavy was pressing against my chest.

Slowly, I glanced toward Lennox.

And there I saw it.

He was smiling.

That familiar smile.

The same smile that made me fall for him over and over again.

But now—

it wasn’t meant for me.

“Miss Hailey,” our teacher said, scanning the classroom.

“You can sit beside Lennox. There’s an empty seat there.”

My world suddenly froze.

“Sure, ma’am,” Hailey replied sweetly.

As she walked toward the seat, almost every pair of eyes followed her.

She was beautiful.

Simple.

Elegant.

Like the main character in a story.

And me?

Just an extra.

I tightened my grip on my pen.

“Hi,” Hailey said as she sat down beside Lennox.

“Hi,” Lennox replied. “I’m Lennox.”

“I know,” she said with a smile.

The class squealed again.

I closed my eyes for a moment.

You’re not allowed to be jealous.

You have no right.

You’re just a friend.

But no matter how much I tried to convince myself—

the pain in my chest refused to disappear.

“Phoebe.”

I opened my eyes when I heard Lennox calling my name.

I turned around.

He had slightly turned in his seat to face me.

“Did you take notes earlier?” he asked. “I didn’t catch Ma’am’s explanation.”

Normal.

Everything felt normal.

Like nothing had changed.

Like he didn’t have a new seatmate who suited him better.

Like he had no idea my heart was quietly breaking in front of him.

I forced a smile.

“Yeah, I did,” I said, handing him my notebook.

He took it.

“Thanks, Phoebe. You’re a lifesaver.”

⸻

Later

“Hey! Phoebe!”

I turned to Mika, who was now staring at me with concern.

“You’ve been spacing out for a while now! Are you okay?”

I rolled my eyes lightly.

“You’re so dramatic.”

She crossed her arms.

“Don’t think about him too much. It’s bad for your health.”

I laughed awkwardly.

“It’s not like that.”

“Not like that?” she repeated. “The only person you think about is Lennox.”

His name alone made the image of him and Hailey appear in my mind again.

Honestly, I didn’t even feel like approaching him anymore.

It felt like I was just forcing myself into his life.

“Let’s not talk about it,” I muttered.

“Hailey!”

Both of us turned toward the familiar voice.

Lennox was jogging toward Hailey down the hallway.

They immediately started chatting as they walked together.

Hailey hugged her books to her chest while listening to him.

Lennox didn’t even notice me.

“Ahh… so that’s why,” Mika teased.

I looked at her.

“You’re impossible.”

“Well,” she shrugged. “Looks like he has a new best friend.”

I already knew that.

I just didn’t want to admit it.

“I expected this day would come,” I said quietly.

I gave her a sweet smile.

Even if it was forced.

“Let’s just not talk about it.”

Mika simply stared at me.

I knew she didn’t believe my smile.

“Phoebe…” she said softly.

I shook my head.

“I said don’t.”

She sighed but nodded.

“Fine. But if you cry later, don’t come to me.”

I laughed faintly.

“Drama queen.”

Even while we laughed, the heaviness in my chest didn’t disappear.

I couldn’t stop myself from looking toward Lennox again.

They were near the hallway.

Talking.

Laughing.

Hailey would occasionally laugh while Lennox showed her something in his notebook.

I lowered my gaze again.

Everything happened so fast.

It felt like yesterday when we were always together.

Now—

I felt like the outsider.

“Phoebe!”

I turned when someone called my name.

Aiden ran toward us holding a basketball.

“Hey! There you are! Lennox was looking for—”

He suddenly stopped when he noticed where I had been staring.

His eyes followed my gaze toward Lennox and Hailey.

“Oh.”

He looked back at me.

“I get it.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Get what?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “I didn’t say anything.”

Then he suddenly slung an arm around my shoulders.

“Come here.”

“Hey!” I protested. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m borrowing you,” he said while dragging me away. “I’m bored.”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Exactly.”

Mika burst out laughing behind us.

“Good luck, Phoebe!”

“Hey, Mika!” I shouted.

But Aiden kept dragging me all the way to the basketball court.

When we reached it, he finally let go of me.

“Okay,” he said, turning toward me.

“Now tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Why you looked like you were about to cry earlier.”

I rolled my eyes.

“You’re dramatic too.”

“Phoebe,” he said seriously. “I know you.”

I fell silent.

For a moment, I glanced back toward the school building where Lennox still was.

“Nothing,” I said quietly.

“I’m just tired.”

He didn’t answer right away.

He simply stared at me.

Then he smiled slightly.

“Then let’s do something fun.”

“Huh?”

Before I could react, he suddenly tossed the basketball at me.

“Hey!” I caught it. “Are you crazy?!”

“Shoot,” he said, pointing at the hoop.

“If you make it, I’ll buy you milk tea.”

My eyebrow lifted.

“Really?”

“But if you miss…” he grinned. “You buy.”

“i***t!”

He laughed.

“Come on, Phoebe. Stop thinking.”

I took a deep breath while holding the ball.

For a moment—

Lennox disappeared from my mind.

I jumped and shot the ball.

Swish.

It went in.

Aiden’s jaw dropped.

I pointed at him immediately.

“You’re buying!”

He laughed loudly.

“Alright, alright! I’ll treat you!”