Offenders

My name is John Ndlovu, I am 40, and I am an offender, oh well, perhaps I am forced to be one and that have always been my life, as much as I hate to say this I am at the top of the food chain and I am the most dangerous human being the planet have ever produced, maybe so, maybe so. I know too much to say the least and when I say too much I mean everything you could possibly imagine, throughout my life I have chewed more than bargained for and I have spend most of it punching above my weight. A lot of people do not know what I do, too many barriers have blocked their way into considering who I really am, and maybe that’s because of my smile or my light skin colour, perhaps my beautiful tattoos. Many will always say I am attractive, those are a lot of which will feel cosseted and secured around me, I have always told myself around them that one day they will look at me as a dark cloud and shroud in fear, for I am terrible, and today I engrave in this piece of paper as my confession to who I really am. I have never appreciated the things I do; I never have been conceited of any of the things that I have done. I always say a dark cloud is following me. Only three days ago I have completed two missions and I got paid Ten million Rands, and I call it quit or I could thought that much, here I am today, I am still trapped, and I am therefore here and ready to die for the truth. So if your reading this letter, be alert that this was the last part of me, and this is the place where I died for the people and things I have always live for in this trade I tussled hard for but came to the finale that I will never own. Thanks for your time John 59 hours earlier… My eyes were glued on the TV screen for every single reason, from the post covid-19 national disaster financial crisis breakdown to the presidential scandals and it looked like South Africa was heading for the greatest fall, and pity the president was talking on national TV and from the look of things the reason for his speech could be everything he don’t have any idea of, like he had no plan to pick the nation up, he was just reading what was written for him to read on the speech, R500 billion were borrowed from the national bank with no clue on how to return it, for instance tax could be high and everyone should pay leaving the poor poorer and the richer poor whereas jobs were lost, over 8 millions of jobs to say the least. I took a sip on the wine glass I was holding on my hand one more time before I stood and burry my left hand on my pair of jeans. Once my eyes were off the TV screen, problems of mine floods into my skull, it all came back that I was in the middle of something. I was in one of the last floor of the rooms in Burger‘s Park hotel, it was around 7pm and my ears were sheltered by the ambulance, police vans and cars sirens teeming by the road stacked between the hotel and burgers park lawn yard, I can’t hear what anyone was saying but all I could see was the red lights hopping along with the blue and yellow ones on top of this cars, illuminating the faces of their owners, at times the prospect was being enlightened by the drivers uninformed of the danger occurred exactly at 6:30 PM, only to be instructed to use the alternative roads by the noticeably all decisive law enforcement. Most of these cars took a short right alternative street, crowding it in this dark night, making most use of this normally fallow street. The misfortune included few cars, four at least which had smack on each other and police investigating team in-circled the first of the cars, which was the chief cause of the accident with the “CRIME SCENE, DO NOT CROSS” ribbon only permitting the standing by touring cars to get rid of three of the other cars implicated in the tragedy. The owners of these three cars all escaped the thump with least or no scrape at all and they were all okay excluding for the one contained by the police tape, who died instantly. Maybe before the accident took place, a forty plus years old man was gunned down by the bullet that was instructed to struck him from this same Burger’s Park hotel room, the bullet went from the M40 sniper rifle through the window in search of death, it found the car windscreen, sliced it asides and found its target, penetrated through his chest, search for his life, took it and exit from his back and hide on the seat of the driver whose lifeless body was all over the place and that’s when the car stopped instantly so the rest was just details. Only me and God knows what have killed Dr. Pienaar, I sat on by the table after I have carefully planted the gun in the middle of the bed base, the upfront task which have been geared up for this specific occasions days prior to the hit, the extension silencer on the M40 barrel made the incident trapped between the walls of this room and nobody knew where it came from, except the few of us. Tears were flowing down my eyes, I knew I was not made for this, no one was made for this, I am not a killing weapon and I therefore see evil in taking someone’s life and the sting kept hurting me so much that I pray to the Lord that I will get out of the trap one day, but this is the life that I live, I am a hit man and I therefore don’t direct everything I do, I am just a pawn, but no matter how hard I try to come out I always wakeup in this fissure. I don’t know this people I toil for neither the one I executed, the only glue putting us together is riches, people want to hire a hit man and then when the job is done they are grateful to pay a lot of wealth, they remain uncontaminated and my hands are polluted, its money on job so my hands gets dirty and they remain clean, or so they think, we are all the same, it’s all rooted out in money, money is the origin of all evil, the root of all miseries in the world, inside this root you will find joy and power, sometimes blood and death, sometimes tears ,some families have open wounds that cannot be healed while some have grown heats of vengeance, whereas some, perhaps most, have died trying to get money, some say when you have money you have power, it’s always in the eyes of the holder, its life. As for me, doing this was neither about money nor pride but was about reasons, whenever I tries to walk away, someone will come up with a reason, even though I have always say there was no motivation worth to take one’s life, I have always say I could take one to bank mine and the few individuals I adore. I walked from the window and looked back at the TV screen where the president was still making his speech, a South African flag on his left as he takes his time to say whatever he was saying. With all this thoughts having the luxury of menacing my system I was all but hauled in to reality by a knock at the door, or should I say someone was pounding on the door and that was a sure signal that I needed to clear out my thinking somehow. As I opened the door a Goliath looking guy, chubby tall and dressed in a knee-length jacket glazed at me, behind him was a black bald headed man dressed in a black suit and a blue and white striped tie that was matching the same outfit dressed by his master. This man’s name was Michael Van der Spuy, Van der Spuy was a pale skinned light brown bearded man on his sixties, his voice was soft but hiding venom that was only filled on his spoken words, he was a straight talker who pursued power from any known way. This man could do anything to get the things he wants, money, positions and recognition, he stormed in to the room, leaving his body guard on the door and closes the door behind; it was me and him face to face in the room, he glazed at me with the green colour planted on his pupils and he could tell right away that I have been in depth of thoughts as he stood there for a tick, took one deep breath as his chest lifts up and came right back to its place, he put his right hand in the jacket and take a black furry glove, he took few steps deep into the room and looked at the colour lights coming from the cars from downstairs through the window and then came back to the middle of the room. “I value your situation.” Van der Spuy said, he fixed his green eyes on my face, ‘he don’t know my circumstances, no one does know my position’ I said this to myself right away, I had a lot to say but I was not in any mood to talk to Van der Spuy nor anyone especially those who engages me to dirty work, we were not associates, they gave me money and I did their work and then we branch ways then that was that and apart from that we are just dissimilar solo universal items having to survive on the same planet. “I did what you have asked me to do.” I told him as he put on his gloves on his hands then he glance me on my eyes in marvel, he didn’t expert that retort and I can tell as he put his hand in his jacket taking out an envelope and gave it to me. “All sealed in there your five million rand, and you can cash it on my command to the bank of your choice.” he said as I took the envelope looking at his face, I took a deep breath before I put it in my leather jacket. He beamed at me taking out a cigarette and nibbles it and then took out a lighter, he tried it twice without success. “If you have put a cent less of our agreement capital in the envelope I will kill you before you take off.” I said that taking out a lighter from my pocket and lighting his cigarette, he took one blow and looked back at me before he smiled once and let go. “People like me don’t just die John,” he said, cigarette smoke comes out in word counts as he spoke “and I understand what is like to kill a man,” He said that scuffing his bearded chin with his banana big hands “I have been in your position one, too many times ,more than I can even reckon but trust me Dr. Pienaar was facing a death penalty and he have been existing with the bullet following him for a more than enough time, he was fragile, too fragile for our organisation, his leadership was taking everyone of us to our graves” “I don’t know that dead man down there,” I said as I pointed to the floor, my voice was too spongy but with toxin hidden behind it, with this blaze of anger waiting to detonate, my eyes were bleeding fire, though I was doing everything to manage my tense “and I don’t know your organisation, I don’t want to be concerned or to know all I just did was what you commanded and paid me to do, score settled, we are even now, I don’t owe you and you do not owe me.” I continued as I started, ended with almost a smile that faded right away like a smoke in the wind. “I feel your shoes…” he said. “I am a man and I will handle myself” I interrupted right away. “You and I have a long way to go, a lot to consider and you in particular have a lot to identify.” he flanged the cigarette to the floor. “I am not killing another man Van der Spuy,” I hoisted my voice “I am a changing man and you should show that some respect.” “Then run,” He said in what he was performing as an astounding smile opening his eyes and his whole face was enlightened by his fog white teeth and almost wide open eyes “run away from the police, run away from my precious job, one that could be your last, run away from the treasures the wealth that I’m about to present to you then I will look at you and confess that you are a coward, that you are feeble,” he took two steps closer to me “if you do this I give you the money you want and you will never have to see me again, I will arrange for your flight overseas, me personally and will buy you a mansion in the destination you choose, Dubai, England, Los Angeles , Cuba, Las Vegas, your call.” he said this gapping his palms at me. “It don’t take money to induce me,” I seized one step nearer to his face too “ I am rich, I have money, I can take off to a country of my choice, whichever in the world, I can buy anything I want, I can give this money right back to you and I can buy you your everything you have ever work for in your life” my voice came out strong and firm “all I want is peace, peace that I now know I will never found in this world.” I said that and resentment embraced me, I felt like my life was descending bottomless into the dark hole, I have been blackmailed by Van der Spuy for some time now into engaging into his organisation Evil raid’s dirty work, they knew my covert, therefore they stressed me to do their muddy works, menacing the two people I love to the death, Martha, the one woman I admire, Martha and I grew in the orphanage house, we were taken by my uncle together and she was raised as a Ndlovu, she was Martha Paterson by I came to think we share same blood, she was beautiful and sexy but at time I didn’t see that, not that I didn’t know but she was more of a sister to me, the other person who was on the firing list of blackmailing me was my uncle, the man who raised us. It was not the first time this come about, they always come after a family to climb into me or if they want to, they will say that they will they takes my secret to the Hawks intelligent unit for investigation and annihilate everything I have ever work for and by everything I mean everything because they were ready to clean me up if I turn my back against them, we all have dirty secrets but once they sip-up it’s all down to this. “The President is resigning tonight,” he said looking at the TV screen, “and the deputy president will have to face our wrath for the coming days, we will distract him from the throne and we want someone of our own to take that seat.” “And what do you want me to do?”I asked without thinking. “We want your voice to be heard and we want you to control the president once he is in place,” he looked at me with his hawk sharp eyes “someone will give you full details of what unfolds tomorrow at dawn.” he said that burying his two hands in his knee length jacket as I swallow this in my ears as I kept my eyes stacked on his face, that same time I took out a cigarette of my own from the pack on my shirt pocket and buried the rest back in the pocket. “It’s not my fight and I am smart enough to know when to stop,” I said winding the lighter and taking the cigarette off my mouth “I won’t promise you to do it.” “I am not here to talk you into doing anything,” he said again “your choices are entirely yours.” “What do you mean?” “There’s no need for you to worry about anything, we always have a way to find you” This was the time when the President was announcing his resignation, the reasons behind his resignations were not specified and the stepping down was immediate, and this played in my mind as a dream as I collapsed to the couch. “Oh my God,” I said taking a deep breath “what is happening?” “We are taking over in the government John, it was always the plan and Pienaar couldn’t allow us,” he settles besides me and looked at my eyes “you cannot say no to this offer and you will have to be with us or you become our enemy.” “It’s too much for me Van der spy I am not prepared.” I said without thinking, in reality the truth don’t need to be given a second thought. “There is no time to prepare,” he placed his hand on my shoulder “tomorrow the presidency have to be the entire new story, presidents are not elected but placed on that seat, there’s always someone behind it and this time it’s us and we know the state and everyone living on it will have to act, this includes me and you, the citizens, the unborn and everyone who love or hate this country, you included.” he stood as he said this. “No” I said this as he stands. “It’s an offer John,” he said looking at me “take it or you will have a bullet following you.” As he walks towards the door I didn’t look at him, I sat holding that cigarette as it breath that sharp smoke to the ceiling dying before its reach its destination. “I know you have five hundreds of gold bricks that belongs to the Tshwane royal family, they did found out, they will be coming after you, you need allies thus you and your family need to chose your friends carefully now, or your were supposed to be friends will fast become enemies standing in the other corner.” I looked at him at once; I might have been waiting for this moment forever. “What do you mean?” I said this standing and walking closer to him. “It’s time to choose the better devil, what do you take me for John,” he turn and looks at me “I am from ‘Evil raid’, we know everything, we know the world, we know all the corners in the world and we know all the pillars supporting the world, we know even the numbers of flies and mosquitoes in this planet, we drive this world to the directions that we want, we have fancy cars and hot girls you have never dreamed of, we are invisible, we know every secret of this world this includes secrets hidden in your heart,” he look at me with a smirk “ if you stick with me you will go places, I will give you peace of mind, I will even let you know everything you wish to know about the Tshwane royal family, I will blackmail them and left them for dead on your finger tips, if you can’t do this for yourself then its time you find peace for everyone they savagely killed in your family, your parents who they burned alive at their gala, they took everything you should have inherit and leave you in the street, you are a hit man leaving in the dark, the world is yours you should be owning it but look at you, you are the unknown; do this job I will give you all the answers, if you want me you know where to find me, you are a call away from reality and truth, and it’s all up to you.” He concludes as he unlocks his eyes from mine and turns to the window, and looks down again, ambulance and police lights colours his face in reflections from the window provided by the cars on the streets. I have to seat there processing this, whatever they were asking me was not going to end well, it was possibly war against the nation, I am smarter than this and I was not prepared to lose everything over this bad blood , one which I have no idea where its coming from. Unless that it comes with a price, someone killed my parents, siblings and everyone I knew and takes everything that belonged to me, that was 15 years ago, I don’t know who that was, here was an offer from Van der spy, the someone who wants to tell me who that was, that’s if I can makes it to the finishing line.