Her Destiny

“What is the problem?” Siddhartha questioned softly, looking deeply in the eyes of that only person for whom he can change himself for good. In a way in which he will not lose both himself and her. At that very moment, he wanted her to read him, feel his emotions that he is not willing to lose her no matter what. Because she was that first-person who taught his icy heart what is love, how it feels to be in love, and how it feels when someone cares and is present there as support for you. “You.” she said with a stony face trying to make him believe that she has also become emotionless like he was. There used to be days when she wanted him by her side and spend as much time together. But now the time and situation both have changed. She closed her eyes and turned away to leave. So that she can hide her tears and twitching lips from him, but what she didn’t know that Siddhartha already noticed them. He held her hand tightly and made her turn towards him. Her tear-stained face was in clear view to him, which was not at all helping him. His hold on her tightened even more as if she will get vanish if he leaves her. He wanted to hug her tightly, looking at her condition. But it’s not the right moment for it. At first, he needs to clear this wall of misunderstanding between them and then made her realize her importance in his life.   The moment she turned around her eyes fell into his bloodshot eyes, which were clearly stating how much her words and actions were hurting him, his rapid breathing showed her that he was trying his best to keep himself composed. She found him staring at her as if he was trying to see the reasons behind her unusual behaviour. And then she felt something wet on her face. But she was not crying, and then she looked up and found it was raining. It is one of her favourite weather from her childhood days she loved this weather. The basis of her liking was never clear to her. Yet today she was grateful for a reason, that now she can allow her tears to fall freely without worrying about them getting noticed by him. The rain was getting heavier and heavier; it seemed as if nature was weeping for them, showing her pain by these heavy water droplets, which served as her tear, liberating her from the pain. “Explain.” he told her with a stern voice. “ Listen to it carefully because I don’t know how you are going to take this. but it’s the truth of us.” She said without looking in his eyes. Siddhartha remained quiet and observed her. No one knows what is going on inside him. He is a person who doesn’t express his emotions openly. Whether he is happy, sad, angry, tensed, or irritated, He always has an emotionless look in his face, irrespective of the situation. But today, he showed his feelings because he trusted her. He knows she will never judge him like others. Because she believed that our emotions are not our weakness, but our strength. “We are not right for each other Siddhartha because we differ from each other in many ways. Whenever I try to have a conversation with you, we end up arguing.” still not meeting his eyes. “But isn’t it normal between couples.” Siddhartha tries to make a point. “Is our relationship like other couples? Do you consider us like others? Because whenever I tried to eliminate this distance in our relationship. I wasn’t able to because you didn’t want it, and it was always me who makes the effort you never did. There were a few times when I needed you the most; your care, your support, and your presence, but you were nowhere around. So it's better if we end this relationship.” She ranted all this out in one breath, holding her tears back. Because if she stopped within saying all this. She would have broken down to tears and wouldn’t able to complete herself. When she was saying all these lines, she felt a sharp pain in her heart all this while. As if someone has thrusted a sharp knife inside her heart, making her bleed. At the minimum, she expected a reaction from him. But he gave none. Finally, she gathered some courage and lifted her head, and looked in his face. She found him standing still with a calm look, breathing softly, deeply immersed in his thoughts and staring continuously the dark sky which has stopped pouring now. The aura which he was emitting was cold, sending chills to her. She remembers this aura because it is the same as the first time she meets him, his sharp look, and this cold aura, which can make any person shiver in fear. She took his silence and absence of a response as a clue to leave. She turned away from him and started taking small steps with a heavy heart. She doesn't know where her feet were taking her. But at that very moment, she wanted to run away from him, from this situation. Her minds were full of questions like; what will she do now, will she stop loving him, will he stop loving her or the worst will he move on with another girl. All these questions were eating her up. All this while she was busy with her thoughts. His eyes returned to her back and were staring her intentionally, observing her behaviour. And there he was confirmed with his motive and decision. So he called out her coldly. “Navya” The moment his voice rang on her ears, she stood rooted in her place. During their whole conversation, this is the first time he called her out with her name. She stood in her place silently. She didn’t turn towards him. “We are.” Siddharth interrupted her coldly, and his voice clearly showed her how angry he was. “We are not over Navya. We are not, because I will never let you go from my life, especially like this. You were a part of my life, you are, and you will always be a part of me. We will meet again, I promise.” He said all this so confidently like he has all read made his mind. “We will never meet again, and I will make sure about it.” She said this sternly to him and went away from his life. Navya jolted up in her bed after coming out from the nightmare. It has been a year since she met him, but still every night she thinks about him and have this same dream of their last meeting. This memory haunted her like a nightmare every single night. She knew that its nearly impossible for them to get back. But still, somewhere deep inside her heart, she wants him back in her life. She was sweating profusely, resulting in her sweat-soaked shirt. She was also experiencing a headache. “Hello madam, same nightmare again.” Ekta entered my room, holding two cups of steaming freshly brewed coffee. Yep, I needed this the most right now. This headache is killing me. Ekta passed a cup to me and sat in a chair beside my messy bed. “Want to share something Navya.” I tried to ignore her talk and made myself busy with my coffee taking small sips. She huffed and continued. “Look, I know you don’t like to talk about this. But we can't let you have nightmares, and wake you up drenched in your sweat like this every morning. We need a solution to this.” “I have one, don’t worry.” now me, Navya Sharma will never look back to the past.