Who You Are

six | release your tentacles

When I wake up, the morning sun is starting to peak through the windows and the clock on the wall reads 5:52. My alarm is supposed to go off at 6, so to avoid it, I turn it off and head to get ready. The warm water hits my body as I shower the previous days' grime away. I let it cascade down me and hang my head low, hoping the headache that I get daily will subside and I'll be able to function normally. Picking out an outfit for today is proving to be harder than I ever thought it would. Do I do casual? What about dressy? Thinking that I'm not a dressy person, I grab a short-sleeved teal shirt to go with dark jean shorts and strappy white sandals. My disastrous mane that settles atop my head is dried and thrown in a messy bun. Swiping mascara, and lip gloss, I grab my light jacket and backpack and make my way downstairs.

Greta waits with French toast, and sets my medicine alongside. I eat it vigorously, trying to ingest as much energy into my day as possible. I know I will waste most of it on the way to the school, just in over analyzing and over thinking everything about the situation. I chew my food and try to settle my mind, not succeeding. Thankfully I'm released from my thoughts as my phone pings from beside me. An unknown number sitting atop the screen.

Need a ride to school?

Who is this?

Kade.

Uhm, are you sure?

Positive. Be there in ten.

My heart races inside my chest, and I have to force myself to ingest the rest of my breakfast. I let Greta know that he's coming for me, and with a smile she walks away and wishes me a good day. I rinse my plate in the sink before setting it into the dishwasher and grabbing my backpack. The front door opens onto a small dark wooden porch and I sit on the step below to wait.

Not two minutes later a large black truck pulls into the driveway. The gloss shines in the early morning sunlight and he hops down from the drivers seat. My chest becomes a series of powerfully winged butterflies as he walks around the front and walks towards me. His black motorcycle boots pound the pavement below a snug pair of dark washed jeans, a dark grey t-shirt that makes way for his perfectly chiseled face. His hair is swept to the side in a haphazard way and sunglasses cover his eyes. If that didn't make my pulse race already, he sports a small smile as he shoves his hands in his pockets and lifts his shoulders, coming to a stop just a few short feet away from me.

"Good morning," he says, in his deep, raspy voice. Heat races across my arms and face as I listen to the melodic tune of it.

"Good morning," I reply softly, breathlessly. I struggle to a standing position with my shaky legs, and nerves catapult my whole system. I'm going to be alone with this beautiful being for more than a few minutes and I'm internally freaking out.

"Ready to go?" he asks, removing his sunglasses to the top of his head. Giving me a perfect view of the crinkle below his grey eyes. I nod, knowing I wont have the strength to speak a coherent sentence. Not with his piercing gaze. I lift my bag from the step beside my feet and go to lift it to my shoulder. "Let me get that."

I look a him again as his hand grazes mine to take it from me. I see sparks fly, wondering how we haven't already come aflame from the burning intensity of our graze. We hold eyes for a beat of a moment before he clears his throat and smiles. He motions his arm for me to walk in front of him, and it takes so much will power to make my legs move and close the distance between the passenger door of his truck and the step I just occupied.

He reaches over me, taking the door handle in his hand and opening it for me. "Thank you." I reply, not looking at his face. The truck sits higher in the air, and I wonder if I'll even be able to crawl my way into it. I look at the truck then finally look at him, eyebrow raised. He smiles back. "Should I getting a running start?" I say quietly.

A loud laugh envelops from deep in his stomach, and my mouth twitches at the corners. He shakes his head, smile still prominent as he clutches me around the waist and lifts me into the cab. I let out a small squeak and he deposits me into the seat. He doesn't say anything as he sets my bag at my feet and closes the door. Rounding the front he hops in his side, using the handle bar atop the frame. He turns the engine over, shifting his shades back over his eyes and sticking the gear into reverse. I watch as the muscles in his arms constrict against his flesh, and I have to force myself to take a deep breath and look away. I'm confused by these feelings he invokes in me. I haven't felt anything but fear and loneliness in a very long time. It's a little disorienting trying to decipher the emotions that course through me.

"Are you excited for your first day?" he asks suddenly, looking at me briefly before looking back at the road.

I shrug my shoulders. "Is anyone ever excited to start school?" I reply.

He chuckles. "No, I guess not."

I hesitate for a moment. "Are you?"

He looks back at me, teething showing behind his lips. "I have a feeling this year is going to be one for the books."

"Oh?" I question. He just continues to smile at me. Our topic is interrupted as he pulls into the parking lot of the brick structure that will house my academics for the next year. I grab my bag from my feet as he pulls into a parking spot closer to the back. As he shifts into park, I notice our surroundings. Molly, Grace and Travis sit against a very lifted Jeep Wrangler, talking animatedly at each other. They look in our direction as we exit the truck and walk their way.

"Willow!" Molly yells, wrapping her arms around me. "Finally, you're here."

Looping her arm through mine and holding my elbow she smiles at me and starts on her more ramble about the school and what to expect. She doesn't give me any chance to speak a word, and I'm learning that the only thing to do is nod and smile. I look over my shoulder and send the rest of the group pleading eyes. They all chuckle, but leave me to tend for myself.

"Do you have your schedule?" she asks. I nod and take it out of the pocket I stuffed it in this morning. She rips it out of my hand and stops walking, peering over it while she mumbles to herself. "We have third, fourth and sixth period together."

"Hmmm." I mutter, smiling softly.

"Kade, give me yours," she demands. She rips his out his hands in the same manner and lines it up next to mine. "You guys have all but fifth together."

Kade looks at me and smiles, cheeks deepening as dimples form. I blush deeply and have to look away before I pass out from the sheer beauty of him.

"So then that means I have first, second and fifth with you," Grace pipes up from beside us. She gives me thumbs up, before blowing a kiss at us all and walks away. "I'll meet you two there, I'm gonna go talk to Stanza."

We all watch Grace walk away, before being interrupted by a high pitched squealing voice from the side. I look up and over to see a tall, bare legged blonde with vibrant blue eyes make her way over on her six inch heels. The button at the top of her silk blouse nearly pops at the extent of pressure that her chest forces upon it, and her makeup is flawlessly done.

"Kade, baby! I missed you!" she says, throwing her arms around Kade's neck and kissing his cheek. He looks at us with wide eyes as he tries to pry her arms from around him. It only makes her tighten her hold.

"God Dahlia, release your tentacles," Molly says from beside me. My eyebrows jump to the roof of my forehead. I look at her with a bewildered expression, seeing her wink at me then look back to Kade. Who steps away from her and forcing her arms to retreat. She turns to glare at Molly, while still inching closer to Kade as she does.

"They let you out of hell again Molly?" she says, menace lacing her tone.

"Someone's gotta drag you back," Molly fires instantly.

"Oh please, you know my cage sits in heaven," Dahlia, I guess is her name replies. She flips her hair over her shoulder and inspects her perfectly manicured nails.

Molly booms with laughter, "Darling, your cage sits so deep in Hell, you make the Titan's look like saints."

She scoffs, "you are such a dweeb."

"At least I'm not a self-absorbed, puta tonta," Molly says, stepping closer to Dahlia as she says it. My eyebrows have probably reached the heavens with how high they've cascaded.

Dahlia pauses for a brief moment, "a what?" she asks, furrowing her brows.

Molly just smiles before moving around her and walking away. "Google it!" she yells over her shoulder. I watch her walk away, wanting to join her as she goes.

"You're going to let her talk to me that way. Kadey-poo?" Dahlia says, pouting.

"I don't let her do anything, and don't call me that," he replies, moving closer to me as he does.

"But-" she goes to say.

"Oh Lord, can you not take a hint?" someone says. All four of us crane our heads to the girl standing behind Dahlia. She's shorter, darker skinned and incredibly beautiful.

"Excuse me?" Dahlia screeches.

"Retract your claws Regina, he's obviously not into you," the girl replies, narrowing her eyes.

"What did you say to me?" Dahlia yells, stomping her foot. I watch the interaction with amusement, and for once a real smile graces my face.

"Are you deaf?" new girl asks, "HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU!"

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

New girl throws her palm to her forehead, shaking it as she does. "This is going no where. He's found a new girl. Pick up what's left of your dignity and walk away."

Dahlia whips her head to meet Kade's amused stare. Her eyes then flit towards me and narrow. "Kade, baby. What is she talking about?"

Kade steps closer to me as she steps closer to him. "She got the point across pretty clearly Dahlia, I'm not interested. Haven't been for a very long time," he replies. "And I've told you several times to not call me baby or kadey-poo, or any of your other ridiculous pet names."

He takes my hand and storms away. Travis following behind us with a loud snicker. I stumble behind him, trying to keep up with his pace. My heart speeds in my chest, and I'm starting to freak out.

"Kade, dude. Slow down, she can't keep up," Travis yells. Kade listens, slowing his pace and looking back at me.

"I'm so sorry Willow," he says softly, gripping my hand tighter.

"It's okay," I reply softly, trying to calm the pattering in my chest.

"It's not okay," he replies, "she just brings out the worst in me."

"She brings out the worst in us all," a petite voice says from behind us. The same one that stood her ground and didn't shrink away.

"That's she does, peanut. That she does," Travis says from beside her, throwing his arm around her shoulder. 'Peanut' glares at him before throwing his arm off her.

She turns to me. "It's nice to finally meet you, Willow."

I look at her curiously, finally looking at her fully. I recognize her from the pictures on Greta's wall and vaguely remember Greta telling me about her. "Chloe,"

"In the flesh, I'm surprised you know who I am," she says, smiling brightly.

I blush slightly, looking towards the ground. Hand still in Kade's. "Greta's talked about you."

She laughs. "Well, with our grandma you never know if it's always good."

"Nothing bad, she just told me that you're Uncle Matt's daughter," I reply, looking back at her.

"And you're the lost daughter of Uncle Axe," she replies. "We've been looking for you for years."

I stiffen slightly. Not comfortable enough to talk about it with her. "Yeah," I say softly, dragging out a deep silence. The bell interrupts us from our awkward tension.

"You got first with Sheffield?" Chloe asks, walking into step beside us. I look at my schedule, that somehow still sits in my clutched right hand. I nod my head to see her do the same. "Cool. I'll sit with you guys." And she does. She follows us, fitting into the group Molly dragged me into the moment I met her at that Mexican restaurant. I follow alongside Kade in all the classes we have together. Sitting beside him, making small talk with him. Listening to the sound of his voice and feeling the heat that radiates from him. I sit next to him at lunch. Surrounded by all his friends. Caught in the middle of their bickering and laughing. Not knowing what they're talking about or who they're all talking about.

But he doesn't make me feel left out. He includes me in the conversations. He sits close to me, shoulder to shoulder and talks to me in between. He pays close attention and hangs on my every word. He shows such amazing focus and smiles at me so brightly, I'm not sure I'll ever get enough of him.

I'm caught in the moment, not wanting it to ever end. And I'm so utterly blessed to feel such strong emotions, because I was so sure I'd never feel anything again. I just have to figure out if it's going to be a good thing. Is it good to open my walls and show a sliver of my heart? Is it dangerous to let him leak through the cracks and fill them like he already has?

Only time will tell I guess.