Sinful Attachment

KABANATA 8

As soon as Danzel and Chaos left, Chase immediately moved toward Charlotte, almost rushing just to reach her. There was something urgent in her actions, like she couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself any longer.

Chase knew deep down, na yung mga sinabi niya last night wasn’t just a random invite to live together. Hindi na siya mukhang joke ngayon. Yung words niya may bigat na, ramdam nila yon kanina pa, and now that she’s thinking about it clearly, nare-realize niya na it meant more than what she tried to show.

Huminto siya right in front of Charlotte, her expression slightly tense, parang she’s trying to figure things out pero hindi niya kayang i-process mag-isa. Halata na kailangan niya itong mailabas at mapag usapan, to confirm kung ano yung unti-unti niyang nare-realize.

Because for the first time, she wasn’t sure if she had crossed a line or simply admitted something she had been hiding all along.

“Sinundo ka niya kagabi, so hindi na rin namin alam yung nangyari after that. Tanging yung sa bar lang na eksena at yung call ang alam namin ah.” Nakangusong sambit ni Charlotte.

Chase’s heart started beating even faster after what Charlotte said. Parang biglang naging mas totoo ang lahat, at hindi na niya kayang i-brush off pa ito as something simple or madaling kalimutan.

“So ibig sabihin nga, hindi lang yung pag aaya ko na makipag live in kay Chaos ang nasabi ko kagabi?” Chase asked, mas mahina na ang boses niya this time.

There was clear worry in the way she spoke, like she was afraid of what the answer might be. Her mind keeps replaying the night, trying to remember every detail, pero lalo lang siyang nagiging anxious.

Tumingin si Chase kay Charlotte, waiting, almost hoping na mali siya, pero at the same time parang ine-expect na rin niya na may mas malalim pa doon kaysa sa akala niya.

“Alam ko na yang tingin mo, oo… May mas malala pa diyan sa live in.” Charlotte scratched the back of her head habang nagsasalita, looking unsure kung ano ba talaga ang dapat niyang maramdaman. Hindi niya alam kung matatawa ba siya, mai-stress, o maaawa kay Chase.

She looks at Chase for a moment, then umiwas ulit ng tingin, trying to think kung ano yung tamang salita na sasabihin niya. Halata naman na she needs a few seconds pa to fully process the current situation.

A small smile almost shows sa mukha ni Charlotte pero pinipigilan niya. She knows na hindi na ito simpleng nakakatawa lang. There is something real sa nangyayari, and ngayon pa lang nare-realize ni Chase yun.

Charlotte lets out a small breath and stays quiet for a moment, still unsure what to feel, stuck between amusement, stress, and concern para sa friend niya.

“So ano nga kasi?” Tanong ni Chase na mas lalong hindi na mapalagay ang kaniyang loob, kinakabahan siya na natataranta na hindi alam kung ano ang dapat gawin.

“Too cut the long story short nalang siguro?” Charlotte spoke, but Chase quickly shook her head in disagreement.

It was quick and firm, like she was trying to shut the idea down right away bago pa man ito tuluyang pumasok sa isip niya. Chase reaction clearly shows how uncomfortable she is, as if she doesn’t want to accept or even consider anything deeper than what she is already holding onto. Parang mas safe para sa kanya na i-deny na lang agad kaysa harapin kung ano talaga yung meaning behind it, kung ano man yung possible implication ng sinabi niya. Pero may part din sakanya na gusto niyang malaman.

But Charlotte doesn’t back off. Hindi siya umaatras, and she doesn’t change her expression either. She stays calm but focused, eyes still locked on Chase, like she is carefully reading every reaction of Chase. Wala nang pang aasar ngayon, wala nang playful energy, just quiet seriousness at insistence na kailangan pa rin nilang pag-usapan nang maayos, kahit pa uncomfortable pa ito para sa kanila.

Chase is still waiting for answers, and it is so obvious na hindi siya papayag sa half explanation or vague excuse this time. Para kay Charlotte, hindi na ito something na puwede lang pagtawanan or iwasan. She knew that Chase wants clarity, gusto niya ng straight answers, even if it makes things more complicated or uncomfortable for both of them.

“After mo kasi tawagan si Chaos, kinukulit mong makipag live in diba?” Panimula ni Charlotte.

“Mhm.” Tugon ni Chase.

“Kinulit mo naman siya ngayon na puntahan ka kase namimiss mo siya.” Dagdag ni Charlotte.

“Pabitin ka pa e.” Reklamo ni Chae.

FLASHBACK

“Chase, awat na.” Charlotte said while shaking her head, clearly trying to calm her down.

She gently holds Chase’s arms to stop her from continuing to insist or overthink things, pinipigilan siya para manatiling kalmado at hindi mag-overreact. Charlotte’s tone is firm but not harsh, more like she is trying to ground her friend na unti-unti nang nalulunod sa sariling thoughts at emotions dala na rin ng kalasingan.

Parang gusto ni Charlotte sabihing “pumirmi ka muna, baka pagsisihan mo yan kinabukasan,” without actually saying it out loud. Charlotte stays steady in front of her, making sure Chase doesn’t spiral any further, while still giving her space to breathe and process everything.

“Ayaw, I need Chaos right now. Hindi ko na kaya ‘to. Hindi ko na kayang tiisin at pigilan pa ‘to.” Sambit ni Chase na naka pameywang sa harap ni Charlotte at Danzel.

“She’s really drunk,” Danzel said while laughing, taking another sip of his drink as he leaned back comfortably on the couch.

Danzel’s voice is light and amused, parang nanonood lang siya ng eksena na mas interesting pa kaysa seryoso. He shakes his head slightly habang nakatingin sa direction ni Chase, clearly napapansin niya how she is getting more emotional and restless than usual, something na hindi na nila masyadong nakikita kay Chase dati.

He stays relaxed on the couch, one arm casually resting on the back, completely unbothered habang pinapanood lang niya yung nangyayari ngayon. Wala siyang urgency, wala siyang pressure, parang normal lang sa kanya na makita si Chase na ganito, even if halata na she is struggling to keep her thoughts and emotions in place.

“Baliw ka, hindi mo pipigilan?” Taas kilay na tanong ni Charlotte kay Danzel.

“Why would I? Alam naman na natin kung ano ba yung gusto niyang ilabas e.” Tumatawang tugon ni Danzel.

“Drunk people are the most honest when you talk to them.” Dagdag ni Danzel.

“Loko ka, sa tingin mo yun talaga sasabihin niyan?” Hindi siguradong sambit ni Charlotte.

“Hindi pa ba halata? Inaaya nga makipag live in e.” Tumatawang sambit ni Danzel.