His little complication 18+ ddlb

Chapter 14

JACK

I spent the entire Saturday at my apartment, lying in bed specifically, ruminating about what could very well be the last full day of my life.

Tomorrow's the deadline – the very last deadline – that Vinny Mac has set for the sixty grand that I owed. I don't have even a fraction of that amount. My fate's practically sealed.

It was pointless to escape. I had nowhere to go. Vinny Mac's crew was part of a huge network whose reach extended everywhere. No matter where I tried to hide, they'd find me. I'd just be delaying the inevitable.

Besides, if I did try to hide, they'd just go straight for my sister... and God knows what they'd do to her and her precious family. I couldn't allow that to happen. Never! I'd rather die than allow any of them to get hurt. This predicament was of my own doing, not theirs. This was my sin to suffer for.

I wondered how I'd die, though, if they’d decide to kill me.

Slow and tortuous?

Or would Vinny Mac actually show some mercy and make it quick?

I'd be lying if I'd say that I wasn't afraid of dying.

I was terrified of what awaited me...

The end to everything...

Of the life I've grown to love...

Of the dreams that I always hoped to achieve...

Of the things I'd no longer be able to experience...

Of the opportunities I won't be able to explore...

Of that one great love which many have searched for but only a few have found...

Of Luke...

Luke...

Oh, how much I hate that motherfucking son of a b***h! He came into my life without warning, with all the damn baggage he brought with him... issues which I helped him sort out. In so doing, I got to know him. A lot. And I fell in love with him.

I actually fell in love with him...

Shit.

The timing couldn't be worse. He gave me a kind of happiness that I've never felt before. And for what? Just to enjoy it for a few days before I'd get slaughtered by a gang of violent thugs? It's life offering ice cream to someone who's about to be diagnosed with diabetes, only a thousand times grimmer. A taste of unbridled joy of what could be but couldn't.

A knock on my door caused my heart to race.

No one – absolutely no one – knocked on my door, save for the pizza delivery guy and my landlord. I didn't order any pizza and I've paid my rent. I had no f*****g idea who was outside my room.

Could it be Vinny Mac? But why? I still had today, damn it! Couldn't I just spend the remainder of this day in peace? Couldn't a dead man walking be entitled to such a simple request?

I approached the door with wary steps. I didn't have a peephole so I just rested my ear against the wooden surface, listening to what was transpiring behind it, trying to garner enough clues as to the identity of my visitor.

Another series of knocks sent me reeling backwards, the sound painfully resonating inside my ears.

“Yeah, who's there?” I had no recourse but to ask.

“Jack?” a familiar voice replied, causing my heart to soar and my stomach to drop. “Jack, it's me... Luke.”

What the f**k was he doing here?

And how did he know where I lived?

I unlocked the door and opened it... and true enough... he was there, standing just outside my room, huffing and puffing as if he just came from a marathon.

“Luke?” I uttered his name in disbelief.

“Sorry, I didn't get to text you before I got here,” he apologized while he was still catching his breath. “I should have, I know. But it completely escaped my mind. I was too... uhm... preoccupied with other things, I guess.”

“How did you even know where my apartment is?” I was compelled to ask.

“Oh. I asked Billy,” he answered curtly.

“Billy? From the club? The bouncer?”

“Yeah. That guy. He's actually nice. Very accommodating. He gave me your details, among... uhm... other things.” Luke's voice softened towards the latter part of what he said, as if he suddenly realized that he just uttered something that he shouldn't have.

“Well, you look beat, man,” I told him. “Come inside. You want a beer?”

“No. Water will be fine,” he said as he entered my place.

“So... what've you been up to?” I queried as I proceeded to the fridge for his refreshment while he settled on the couch. “I want to guess that you just came from a workout but you're not in gym clothes,” I remarked, referring to the sweat-drenched polo s**t he was wearing.

“It's just been a... stressful day,” he replied rather hesitantly, seemingly unsure about the words he was using. “I had to hop from one place to another... stuff like that.”

“You work on weekends?”

“Work? Oh... no. It wasn't for work. And, uhm...” he paused as he became visibly downtrodden. “I... I don't have work anymore.”

I gave him a stunned look. “What?” I expressed my shock. “What do you mean?”

“Well... I... I've quit. Or I've been fired. Depends, really, on whose perspective it is.”

His response made me even more confused. “Luke, you're like engaged to the future owner of that place,” I reminded him. “What do you mean you quit? Or fired? Or whatever?” I walked towards him and handed over the glass of water he asked for.

“I guess that's how it goes,” he said before taking a sip. He took some time to savor it before continuing. “You know... my employment being co-terminus to my engagement to the boss' daughter.”

I froze where I stood.

Did he mean what I thought he meant?

“So... you and Sarah?” I mumbled my question.

“Yep. We're done,” he told me as took another gulp.

“And the wedding?”

“It's off.”

“But... why?”

Luke smiled. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Just to be sure I'm hearing things right,” I countered.

“The wedding's off,” he stated. “Sarah and I are done. I told you I'll fix things. For myself. And... And for us...”

“And... how do you feel about it?” I still couldn't believe what I was hearing.

He tipped his head a bit before answering. “Sad, actually. Sarah and I... we've been together for quite some time. Goodbyes are always hard, more so with the kind of parting we had.”

“Messy, huh?”

“Not really,” he clarified. “What needed to be said were said. What needed to be known were made known. In that regard, the breakup was clean. The reasons were clear. But... she didn't really take it well.”

“Who would? Things like that are always painful.”

“Painful?” he repeated my word. “Nah, not painful. I don't think Sarah's the type who'd allow herself to get hurt,” Luke chuckled. “She's too proud for that. And I think that's what bothered her about our breakup... her pride couldn't accept it.”

I sighed. “Dude, I don't wanna vilify her completely,” I said. “I'm sure there's some goodness in her, enough for you to have stayed with her for... five years, is it?”

“Yeah, five years. And yes, we had some amazing moments. Sadly, now I've come to realize that those moments couldn't really outweigh the reasons why we weren't good for each other.”

“I honestly don't know what to say, man,” I told him, feeling sad about what he just went through. It was clear that Luke was still reeling from the experience. “I know I was the one who gave you the idea that your engagement's probably why you've been feeling miserable... and maybe I did suggest, albeit indirectly, the you and your fiancee – or your ex-fiancee, rather – weren't really a good match... but still. Jesus, Luke! A breakup's a breakup and I could only imagine what you and her are going through right now.”

Suddenly, Luke lifted his head and smiled. “Thanks, Jack,” he said. “Yeah, I'm going through a lot right now, but I'm also feeling alive and excited and happy and relieved... things that I haven't really experienced in a long, long while. Ending my relationship with Sarah... it's sad, yes. But it's also liberating in a way... like I've finally come to free a side of me that's been bottled up for so long.”

“Like the side of you that wants to be in control?” I asked him.

“Yes, the side that you helped me discover,” he confirmed.

And I smiled back.

Then I realized that I was only wearing my boxers... as well as my diaper underneath. Luke's arrival was a total surprise. I didn't even have time to dress up.

“Oh crap!” I remarked. “Sorry for my getup... or the lack of it. I wasn't expecting any company today. Lemme dress up for a bit and -”

Before I could even leave for some clothes, he held my hand and prevented me from moving.

“No need,” he muttered.

Then his face approached mine. His lips reached for my lips.

I wanted to indulge myself with the kiss he was proposing. Every inch of my body has been craving for him. And now, he was in front of me, in the privacy of my own place, and we were free to do whatever we wanted to do.

But no.

It wasn't right.

It would be selfish.

We could be together, but what's the point of that? Tomorrow, Vinny Mac and his goons would be gunning for me – figuratively, and quite possibly, literally as well – and Luke would just lose me so soon. I didn't want him to go through that.

“I... I'm sorry, Luke,” I told him as I pulled myself away from his touch. “I can't.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, confused and seemingly embarrassed.

“Listen,” I quickly tried to explain. “It's not because I don't want to, okay? Oh God! If you only knew how much I want it... how much I want you. But... I... I can't. Not right now. And perhaps, not eve-” I stopped myself from continuing. “I just can't, Luke. I'm sorry.”

“No, no... I understand,” he reassured me. “Yeah, I shouldn't have come here. I just broke up with Sarah and going straight to you wasn't really the right thing to do. I don't want you thinking that you're the primary reason why our wedding's off. This must be very uncomfortable for you, Jack. Awkward too. I'm sorry.”

“Oh, no... it's not that,” I quickly refuted. “It's just... uhm...” I deliberated on whether or not I should tell him the truth. I decided not to. “I just can't. I'm sorry,” I repeated what I told him earlier.

“Yeah, I understand,” he replied. “But Jack, please believe me that I just went here because... well... I'm worried about you and we don't have that much time to fix things.”

“Eh? What're you talking about?” I feigned ignorance.

“Your debt,” he reminded me, though I most certainly needed no reminding. “It's due tomorrow, right?”

Oh well. I guess it's pointless to hide that matter from him now since he already brought it up.

“Yeah,” I acknowledged with intentional nonchalance.

“You're not concerned about it?” he wondered, shocked.

“It is what it is,” I replied dismissively. I didn't really want to talk about it.

“You don't even seem slightly bothered by it,” Luke persisted, this time with an angry and frustrated tone. “Your life's at stake and you're acting like this is nothing?”

“Like I've said, it is what it is,” I reiterated. “At this point, there's nothing I could do about it. We've talked about this. I've told you that there was no escaping this predicament. It's either I'd pay up or I'd suffer the consequences of failing to fulfill my obligation. I... I can't come up with that kind of money, Luke. Not within the period they gave me. So yeah, I'm resigned to my fate.”

“Just like that?!” he continued to question, enraged by what I said. “You're giving up just like that?!”

“There's no way out of it, Luke,” I informed him.

“You won't even put up a fight?”

“For what?”

“I don't know. For yourself, maybe? For your sister? For whatever you feel is worth living for?”

Myself? Nah. If it was just me, this s**t would be easier.

My sister? Yeah, it would be better if I'd be there for her. But she's doing good now, surrounded by people who love her. I didn't want to involve her with this f****d up mess I was involved with.

Something worth living for?

Hmmmm.

I could only think of one.

“Luke... I want to live... for you,” I told him. “For us... wherever this us would lead you and me. But it's too late now. I've dug this hole and I'm not gonna drag you down with me.”

“So... I'm worth living for?” he asked, his eyes swelling like he was overwhelmed by a sudden surge of powerful emotions.

I paused before I answered, wondering whether I lie and lessen the suffering that my pending demise would cause or tell the truth and cause him more pain come tomorrow.

I decided on the latter.

He might as well remember me as an honest man.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, you definitely are. But again, it's too late now.”

He cleared his throat. “Actually... it's not.”

“Huh?” I was perplexed by what he said. “What do you mean?”

“I... I told you I'll fix things, right?” he reminded me with a bit of hesitance.

“Yeah. And you did. You fixed things with your fiancee.”

“That's not all that I did, Jack. I... well... I also fixed your predicament.”

I felt like a boulder was dropped in my throat. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

“Luke... what did you do?” I asked, raising my voice, demanding to know.

“I fixed your problem,” he repeated, his own voice breaking as if he was scared about my reaction. “I... I paid your debt.”

“You did what?!” I responded with so much rage as I stood up and kicked the couch where we were sitting.

Luke got up and tried to pacify me. He placed his hand over my shoulder but I pulled my body away from him.

“Jack... I did what was right,” he explained. “Your life was in danger. That debt had to be paid. So I paid it.”

“With what? The money you were supposed to use for your wedding?” I questioned sardonically.

“Well, in a.... very... small way, yeah, I did,” he admitted. “But it wouldn't have been enough to cover what you owed.”

“Then where did you get the cash?”

“I... errr... I received an unexpected sum from work,” he answered softly, almost murmuring.

“From work? The same work you just left?”

“Yes.”

“Why would they even give you money if you won't work for them anymore?”

“Let's just call it a kind of... severance pay.”

I shook my head, still mad at how things turned out. I paced around the room, breathing heavily as I did, trying to calm myself.

“Jack, I did it for you,” Luke pleaded for my consideration.

“The f**k you did!” I lashed out. “It's not your problem. It's my problem. My problem!”

“No, Jack. It's our problem,” he attempted to correct me.

But I'd have none of that.

“You don't have the right to clean up my own f*****g mess!” I yelled at him.

He lunged towards me as he tried to hug me but I pushed him away. I pushed him quite hard that he fell backwards a few feet and almost crashed against the wall.

“I don't have the right to help you?” he asked.

“No, you don't!” I shouted.

“I don't have the right to keep you alive?”

“No, you f*****g don't! This is my life! My goddamn f*****g life!”

“And I... I don't have the right to love you?”

“N-” I wasn't able to even finish the first word of my reply.

Love?

Did he just say that word?

Was that what prompted him to do that stupid thing that he did?

I fell silent. My anger simmered. My body loosened up. I felt shame... for how I reacted, for how I treated him, for being so self-absorbed that I failed to appreciate what he has done for me.

He saved my life.

Luke noticed my sudden change of demeanor. He began to walk towards me, gently extending his hand like I was a stray dog and he was trying to determine my temperament.

“I did what I had to do, Jack,” he repeated once again. “I did what I had to do because I love you.”

Oh f**k!

Without even thinking, I grabbed his nape and pulled his face closer to mine. I pressed my lips against his, desperate to show him how much I wanted him... how much I needed him... how much I desired him.

He didn't resist.

We kissed for quite some time, our tongues clashing like rapiers in a sword fight.

Eventually, our mouths parted. He was smiling, and so was I.

“Remember when we first did this?” he asked. “Right after I got so worked up because you told me I was gay?”

“Yeah. You punched the f*****g wall and your fist hurt like hell,” I chuckled.

“And now, it's your turn to get all worked up, huh?”

“I guess.”

“Does anger have to precede our kisses?” he wondered, amused.

“Well, some say that the best foreplay involve the most intense emotions,” I attempted to be witty.

That, however, made him gulp.

“F-Foreplay?' he muttered, seemingly surprised by my usage of that word.

I wanted to tease him about it, but then I remembered why I got mad. “You shouldn't have interfered with the s**t I was in, Luke,” I told him.

“So, I should've just done nothing and allowed you to die?”

I shook my head. “You met up with Vinny Mac?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Amazingly, he wasn't as barbaric as I thought he'd be. He was actually... professional.”

I clicked my tongue. “How did you even know where to find him?”

“Oh. I asked Billy for that info as well.”

Of course! Billy knew everyone in this damn neighborhood. He knew how things worked in this godforsaken part of town. He's been a bouncer at the club for like three decades now.

“Still, it wasn't your problem,” I insisted.

“Well, sorry to tell you, Jack... but it is,” he countered. “I don't want to lose you.”

I turned my back on him as I was still feeling frustrated and angry about what he did. “So, what now, huh? I owe you sixty grand?”

“You don't owe me anything, Jack,” he said.

I couldn't accept that.

“Don't be a jerk about this,” I warned him. “You blew sixty grand on me. I'll pay you back. I'm not some f*****g charity case, Luke. I don't need anyone's pity.”

“I didn't do it out of pity,” he corrected me. “Like I said... I did it out of love.”

And again, I felt my heart melt.

“But if you insist on paying me back,” he continued, “I have something specific in mind.”

“Hmmm. And what could that be?” I wondered.

“Go to bed and take off your boxers,” he ordered... confidently... firmly... resolutely... a complete turnaround from how he usually was.

“Oooohhh. Kinky,” I coquettishly remarked.

He didn't reciprocate my attempt at a playful banter.

“Go to bed, take off your boxers,” he repeated instead with intensified resolve, “and be the baby that I want you to be.”

Now, how could I say no to that?