Things She Didn't Know

Kyle POV 'Knock-knock' I glance up at the doorway overlooked by my computer, only to meet the cocky face of my beta. Without hesitation, I carry on with my report. It needs to be completed today. "Hey, man! Oh, look! You're still in here, great!" Gary says with an eye roll as he walks into my office. He knows me too well. This means he also knows I'll just keep the right one going with what I'm doing. "I ran into Patsy in town this morning. She had some pretty interesting information." He says in an attempt to peek my interest. "Not working, bud." I said flatly, still pounding away at the keyboard. Shaking his head, he carried on, "She caught me up to speed with the issues River Wind has been dealing with on their borders as well. Theres a few things I think we should discuss." Informing me as he takes one of the empty office chairs and moves it closer to my desk. I glance up for a second, and I can already tell I'm not gonna any of what he's got to say. "Sounds like a few other packs have also been experiencing the same occurrences over the past week." He adds, and I can feel the tension starting to form from his stare. "Man, are you hearing me?" "Yes!" Jax growls coming forward. We both tend to have a short temper being rushed or interrupted. I'm smacking the last keys as I finish up the report I've been working on. Removing my hands from my keyboard, I lean back in my chair, closing my eyes. Feels good for just a moment until I hear the slight tapping of his shoe. I peek an eye open to see him long faced and annoyed. Sighing, I sit up, bring my arms up to stretch, and then run my hands through my hair. Trying to rub away the days stress that seems to be never ending. It's been a long day. s**t it's been a long week. "Tell me what you've got." I respond without a trace of enthusiasm. "If you don't mind, I'm going to send a few of our men out to check the surrounding pack's boarders." He adds with a frustrated sigh." I need you to sign off on the order." His disappointment was written all over his face. He feels I'm withdrawn, and I get it. I keep to myself a lot these days. But I'm focused. What he doesn't know is that this issue, this very issue at hand, has stolen many of my nights. It's become the main reason I've been held up in my office the last three days. Reaching out to contacts and digging into research has been consuming most of my attention.. There is also this liguring guilt to deal with. Mainly that I have put too much of a burden on my Beta's shoulders with all the tasks at hand.. regardless of me knowing he's more than capable of handling it. Honestly, it's a big part of any beta's duties. However, in our circumstances, I'm not sure it's fair. I'm at a loss here. I check the corner of my computer screen to see if I'm now 45 mins late or training this morning. "Gary, why are you not at training?" I interrupted him, catching him off guard. " I, well.." he scratches below his left ear, giving me a bit of a grimace. "You what Gary? Awww, man, don't tell me. I honestly don't even want to know who or what you 'f*cked up with'. That's all you. good luck with that." I said, shaking my head in digust. Gyys like the energizer bunny fir goddess sake! Leaving those nasty thoughts, I printed my report, added my John Hancock, and put er in the filling bin. Looking over to Gary, I see him deep in thought before he makes eye contact and gets more serious. He continues.. "I'll check in at the training grounds when we are finished here, but Kyle, this is important.." He lets out a frustrated breath, "I was informed today that there's a group of warriors meeting up on Friday. They have been assigned and sent out from each pack to investigate." He pauses for a moment.. " I figured we might as well extend ours, too." Leaning forward in his seat, my Betas face clearly wearing the look of concern, " I'm not sure what other course of action there is to take right now or what else to offer, Kyle, but we definitely want.." he pauses slightly before adding, No, we just need to stay proactive here." I nod in agreement while leaning back in my chair thinking. He's not wrong. I've received several emails from other Alphas expressing their thoughts. Some are trying to argue it's all superstitious. While others are leering on the side of caution as I am. I can't help but shake my head, grabbing the last contract, needing my signature for the day. Werewolves have been considered meer myths for as long as we have been in existence. There have been too many stories to count. All foreseeing us in a different light. Yet here we are, real as the dirt under our feet and the sun shining bright in the sky. It all falls under superstition, doesn't it? Werewolfs, fairies, vampires, ghosts, and goblins. Even witches. Crazy thought there, too, seeing how they're way more common. Regardless, we werewolves are the myths. We are a superstition, the myths and the folklore to the rest of the world, yet here we have Alphas trying to blow this off as if it couldn't be true... As far as I know, goblins don't exist, but that's not the point here. Their ignorance won't keep me from keeping my borders safe. I'll do the best that I can to help others do the same. "Have you heard about Jamie?" Garys voice brings me out of my thoughts, I acknowledge with a low growl.. he instantly pissed me off. Jax, on the other hand, is up front and center. " Patsys says Jamies has been distant lately, staying to herself more.." I can feel him baiting me here, making my blood start to boil. "Apparently, there has been some talk, and it sounds like she's planning on leaving." The pen in my hand snaps, falling onto the desk in front of me. All I can do is watch the ink leak out, covering the file with the land economics report along with the contracts needed for this afternoons meeting. I wasn't expecting the growl that Jax unleashed.. followed by a thoughtless response on my part. "And!?" which Jax responded to me by clawing away at my insides." F*ck Jax!" scrunching up my face, letting out a groan. The instant pain casuing me to ball up my fists. I shoved my wolf all the way back, reminding him of who's in charge here. Taking a deep breath and letting the irritation pass, I open my eyes, breathing a bit hard, I can feel my nosals flaring like a freakin cartoon character. "Damn it, Gary! Worry about what you're supposed to! I can't do this with you right now!" I growl out. "Go piss off someone elses wolf, would ya!" There! I think for a moment, Im pissed, he's pissed, f*ck now we're all pissed! Just lovely! Growling, Gady stands straightening his pants in an attempt to calm himself. Looking up from yet another mess I made, I lock eyes with his stormy ones. " She's lost right now. She doesn't have anyone to lean on since.." his voice trails off.." You're both lost right now, Kyle.." he says, looking down. I know my best friend is holding his emotions back. But this problem, I can't fix it. "We both know how this ends." He states flatly, taking a few steps towards the door before stopping adding in a low, angry voice, "We both know if you choose to continue as you are, Alllppha. " He spits my title in a way only my best friend could without receiving a broken nose or worse. "You won't ever be whole, man." Gary shakes his head in disbelief. "I know what you've tried to do here, Alpha, I mean, we all do! But damn it! It hasn't worked. It's not going to work!" he takes a deep breath, and instead of giving up and leaving, he walks to the window over looking our pack lands. Putting his hands in his pockets to show control over his emotions, Gary adds, "When man, when are you going to see that this doesn't work, Kyle?! When are you going to put this pride, or should I say stubbornness to the side? This pack needs more than its Alpha and Beta." My whole existence feels numb to this conversation, like a void. Im just so over not knowing the answers. It's like, there is this huge heaviness sitting on my chest, blocking me from.. actually feeling? It's like I'm staring at a blank piece of paper being told to draw what your heart most desires yet not having a pen. It just stays empty.. void. I've carried this heaviness since what should have been the best day of my life. The day our wolves look forward to the most. Meeting our mates. When I saw her for the first time, I was shocked to realize it was her, yet it was like the Sun and the Moon were dancing. They were one together. I could feel the pull and the static in the air from our bond. The realization of knowing who she was hit me right away, but I didn't care. I was always drawn to her. Watching her, intrigued by her.. I had only known of her for about a year. She was strong and smart. Never seemed to let anything keep her down. I saw her in passing nearly every day. When my wolf scented her, I followed it down to the woods line, just across a field from one of my fathers old cabins. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was...couldn't believe she was mine.. She was just sitting there picking up clovers. Mending flowers and clovers into something I couldn't quite see.. I just stood there staring at her for what could have been hours until she looked up at me. That's as far as I let myself get in those memories before the last takes over.. because she wasn't mine. Not really. She didn't want me. When our eyes met, she looked right through me and saw nothing. She saw me. She looked right at me.. AND NOTHING. She felt nothing. She rejected me right there in those moments. My mind whirls around on how this could happen. I did my best to keep those pricks away from her. I hated to see her being picked on or laughed at. Goddess, does she hate me!!?? Her wolf didn't acknowledge mine.. I felt my insides being pulled, NO, more like toren into pieces! My heart broke that day.. But I never went after her. I never questioned her about her choice. Never wanted to feel the pain of hearing, why, why she blamed me. I know Jax was taking on most of the pain, trying to keep me strong. An alpha without his fated Luna can become week. Wolves are destined from the moment the Moon Goddess gives them life to find their other half. Jax, our souls' purpose is meant to find, love, and cherish their mate. We both are now incomplete, without her. I feel the stinging in my eyes as my anger flares. I wish she knew everything I've done for her, no one would ever dare hurt her again. even if she doesn't want me. Gary clears his throat as I tilt my head back letting the warmth of these emotions simmer away. "The only way things change here, is if you make something change, Kyle." He turns towards me. "I just hope that when you realize it, it won't be too late for the rest of us too." He takes a moment then adds "On another note, I need you to sign off on those orders today before the meeting, and okease, just about what I said." And with that, he turns and walks out of my office.