The K is for Karma

1.

-Dakota "Kota"

The nurse came into the room shortly after Tommy left, "Hey sweetie, how are you doing? Your friend is really nice, he said he would be back in a few hours. Do you need anything?" She said as she was connecting the monitor back to my chest. My chest hurts and it's still a little hard to breathe. I said looking her in the eyes. She was a beautiful light-skinned woman with long black hair. Something about her was so loving, it was almost as if she really cared if I was doing okay or not. It was like she knew me. "Well I was also wondering if I could be released from here today, I don't want to be here longer than I have too," I said to her. "Well Kota, I think you should just stay here at least one night. Honey, you are so skinny and so very dehydrated, let me put the IV back in and get you some nutrition shakes to drink for the night, I promise I'll see about getting you out of here tomorrow. Where will you be going?" she asked.

"If you really think I need to stay here then I will. I just want to feel better, I am pretty hungry now that you mention it. Um, do you mind if I ask you a question? I asked her as she got the things she needed to reinsert my IV. "Yes sure anything," she said as she set the tray up. "Well just a second ago you called me Kota and you've been so nice to me since I've been here it's almost like you know me or something. I mean you could just be doing your job but it feels like more than that," I said looking down at my fingers again. These last three years really made me a different person, getting beat almost every day for things I had no control over really did a number on me and my confidence, it was basically gone. I felt ugly and emotionless at times, she really damaged me beyond repair. The confidence I once had in myself was now gone I felt alone most of the time even when I was in a room full of people. I flinch when people just move by me. 

"Well.....she began to speak. I was going to wait to tell you this but I knew your father, I'm not sure if you knew what kind of work he did but it was very dangerous at times and I was the nurse that took care of anyone on your father's team when they got hurt. T brought you here because he knew that I was familiar with this, I never knew your mother though. Today was my first time seeing her, honestly forgive me for being blunt but I don't know what the f**k your father saw in her. The man I knew would never allow this kind of s**t to be going on. A lot has changed since he's been gone I see. I've known you since you were a baby Kota, your dad has shown me pictures, you are so beautiful, but honey you are so thin and you aren't healthy right now at all. Please tell me what has happened to you so I can help you." she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away just as quick as it fell, she was a sweet woman and if my dad trusted her I felt like I should trust her also but something in me was guarded when it came to people, I couldn't just let anyone in even if she was just trying to help me. For now, I wouldn't say anything because really what good would it do for me to tell her all my business and the things that have happened to me at the hands of the one person that is supposed to protect me and love me no matter what. It was a hard concept for me to grasp when it first started happening, I forgave her so many times but after a while, my heart turned cold, I hated the air that she breathed. Wishing her dead was a daily occurrence for me. 

"Thank you for helping me, but I'm really sleepy and still kinda hungry do you think you could get me something to eat please," I said turning my head looking out the window. The dark sky reflected my feelings as the rain began to hit the window, the sound of the rain took me away from my current thoughts. "Yes of course honey I'll be right back," she said as she got up from the edge of the bed walking to the door, she looked back at me one more time before she fully disappeared out of the door. I had gone so long without eating a decent meal when she brought me the food I ate it so fast I caused myself to get a stomach ache, she gave me some medication to help me sleep through my IV before I knew it I was fast asleep not long after her putting it in my IV drip. 

I woke up in a panic because I was having a dream my mom was in here and she was trying to kill me, my entire body was covered in sweat, my breathing was labored, I must have set the machines off because the nurse was rushing in the room like it was an emergency. "I'm okay I promise I was just having a bad dream," I said to her before she was able to get a word out, I looked around the room I saw Tommy had returned and was sleeping on the couch that was on the other side of the room and it was now bright outside it had to be morning now it was a long night but I slept through completely, it had been a while since I've had uninterrupted sleep it felt nice honestly even with me having a bad dream I thought.  "Okay honey let me remove those leads from your chest and let's get you in the shower your hair is soaking wet from sweat." She said as she began to slowly remove the exposed sticky tabs that were all over my chest. "T brought you a change of clothes and a toothbrush, he called me last night, I didn't know your size exactly but I'm sure it's close. Just like I promised I got the doctor to sign off on you leaving this morning. T told me you were going to be staying with him, I told him you were welcome to stay with me but he insisted on you staying with him because he could keep a better eye on you at his house." she said as she made her way over to the bed. She started removing the sticky pads from my chest one at a time, it didn't hurt it was just a little uncomfortable. She removed the IV from my arm and helped me to the bathroom to take a shower. "Um, why do you call him T and not Tommy?" I asked her as she shut the door behind us. "He told you his name was Tommy? she said laughing a little. He must like you he doesn't let anyone call him Tommy, his real name is Thomas but everyone on the street calls him T." she said as she untied my gown from my back. 

She turned on the water and let it get warm, I saw the clothes folded up on the sink. I couldn't help but wonder why he was being so nice to me. I let the gown fall to the floor without a second thought but soon regretted it. "OH MY GOD Dakota, look at your body," she said as tears formed in her eyes. I tried my best to use my hands to cover my naked body. I was so ashamed of the way I looked. I had bruises all over my stomach and chest, I had a long scar on my back from the time my mom thought I was sneaking food, she threw a plate at me and it cracked over my back cutting it open. "It looks worse than it really is I promise I said to her breaking the silence. "Dakota I wish you would talk to me and tell me what has been going on with you. Please just let me help," she said basically begging at this point. "Please just leave it alone," I said raising my voice a little. I was more so embarrassed than anything, I just wanted her to stop talking about it. Hopefully, that part of my life was over and I could move on. But with her constantly reminding me how awful I looked it wasn't helping at all. She remained quiet as she helped me shower. I washed my hair in the shower with just water because there was no shampoo or conditioner, I used to it though because my mom wouldn't let me use anything while I was in the shower but water. I let my long blonde curly hair flow down my back as I dried off the best I could. I slipped on the sweats and hoodie he had gotten for me. He also got me a black pair of slides to put on they were a little big but that was better than what I was used to. The nurse left me to get dressed alone so I could have a little privacy. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't believe the reflection I was seeing. I was so thin, my once juicy face was now so skinny you could see my bones. My stomach was so thin my ribs were showing, how did it get this bad. I was bound to die if I would have kept on living with her. I didn't see how bad things were getting,  I wouldn't even have made it to see my father get out of prison at the rate things were going. I smoothed my hair down one last time as I stepped out of the bathroom. Tommy was now up and talking to the nurse I stayed quiet as they finished talking.

She came over to me and handed me a little piece of paper folded up. "Here Kota here is my number if you ever need anything please call me, I will come no matter the time or day." She said as she hugged me gently. Tommy looked over at us from across the room, he slowly made his way over to us. "You ready to go?" he asked in a softer tone than he had the day before. I couldn't look him in his eyes because he made me far too nervous and here I was getting ready to go live with him. I really hoped I wasn't making a huge mistake. "Here are your discharge papers Kota,  please remember what I said." She said to me handing me an envelope of papers. "Thank you again, umm wait you never told me your name," I said to her looking up at her. "My name is Tesha honey," she said as she gave me a little smile.

Tommy started walking out the door so I followed him slowly, it was still painful to walk but I was feeling a lot better than I had when I got here. We walked outside, he walked up to a black car. I was unsure of whether or not I could get in the front so I just stood there, Tommy came around from his side and opened the passenger door for me. I got in the car and put my seatbelt on, my hands were in my lap. I looked down at them as he started the car and began to drive, I was nervous so I stayed quiet the whole time. "Kota you don't have to be quiet, you can talk ya know. Here I got you a phone yesterday I forgot to give it to you." He said handing me a new iPhone. "Thank you so much T I really appreciate you helping me," I said as I gently grabbed the phone from his hand, he still had his eyes on the road the whole time I tried my best to figure the phone out. I was extremely book smart and was in all the advanced classes but I had no idea how to work this phone. "Yo why you calling me T? I told you that you could call me Tommy," he said I could feel his eyes now on the side of my face looking at me. There was no way I was going to look at him. "Um, I'm sorry Tommy, Tesha, um the nurse at the hospital was calling you T and I guess it just stuck with me. I'm sorry though, it won't happen again," I said in a very low hushed tone. "Yo chill with all that I'm sorry s**t you don't have to be like that with me, you don't need to be afraid of me, I promise I will never hurt you, Dakota." He said as he lifted his hand off the steering wheel. My instant reaction was to flinch, he returned his hand to the steering wheel. "I wasn't going to hit you, but I understand if you don't want me touching you, that's my bad. I don't live much further we will be there soon," he said. The rest of the drive I stole little looks at him, he was very cute but I knew better than to say anything. There was no way someone like him would interested in someone like me.

We pulled up to a complex, I hesitated a little but then he told me that we were here. Getting out of the car I followed him inside and up to the door. They looked like little houses, they were really nice townhouses. I wondered how old he was to have his own car and house like this. He opened the door and it was decorated so nicely I wondered if he did it all by himself. "Your room will be upstairs, you wanna go see it now, or do you want me to show you around first." He asked. "Um you can show me around first, that would be nice, I said quietly."

He showed me around the townhouse, stopping in the living room first he had a huge plush white sectional with a beautiful gray fluffy rug to cover the dark espresso hardwood floors, and literally one of the biggest t.v's I've ever seen hanging on the wall above a fireplace, there were two bathrooms on the first floor along with an office and a spare bedroom, the kitchen was in the back of the house and was just as beautiful as the living room.  he showed me my room and every other room in the upstairs of the house. He also told me I could help myself to anything in the fridge and anything else in the house. "Aye Kota, I gotta go make a few runs I'll be back in a few. I put my number in the phone just in case you need me. But no one knows I live here so you'll be fine just make yourself at home iight." He said. Okay Tommy I'll see you later I said to him as he walked out the front door. I heard the door lock, I felt a little scared to be all alone in this house. My stomach growled and I found myself in the kitchen seeing what he had to eat. I decided on something simple and quick. I made myself a sandwich but as I was making it I thought to make two because I was extra hungry. It had been so long since I made myself some food, I sat in the living room in silence as I ate the two sandwiches. I cleaned my plate and went to go sit back in the living room until he got back home. I laid down because I was starting to feel a little pain in my chest again the pain medications that Tesha had given me when I first woke up must have been wearing off. Maybe when Tommy got home I could ask him if he could take me to the pharmacy to fill my scripts, I wouldn't be able to deal with this pain plus Tesha told me how important it was to take the antibiotics or if I didn't then I could get a bad infection. I thought maybe If I took a little nap it wouldn't be so bad I closed my eyes and let sleep consume me fully.