The Pawn

As Step Behind

But then it passed, like all things do.

Another move, jump, rise and fall, jump.

“Enough”

I paused, clearly feeling the sweat on my forehead as I wiped it with my sleeve. My feet ached as always and they will need a nice basin of water with ice to soak in.

“You are not concentrating, all the moves are done like they are forced.”

A huff. This is not the first time I have been told that this month, ever since that encounter. Not only the ballet, I didn’t seem to sleep well at night. And that watch ticking and ticking wouldn’t make things easier. That shiny watch.

“Artis,”

I looked up and moved my feet to stretch them again, maybe I was just making myself believe that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong.

“I'm sorry, I will try to do better.”

“No, you must do better.”

Annoying prick. It took all the force and will to not let those words slide between my lips, and they didn’t. Not like he deserved it, I am one step away from being a failure.

“It’s 10 o’clock, dismissed today, and work on concentration.”

I started changing into my trainers after giving him a short nod, and in less than 15 minutes I was out. I felt cold air hit my sweaty forehead. That was enough for me to instantly wrap almost my whole face in a scarf. You don’t want to get sick two days before the ballet show. I’m the soloist. God damn it.

Despite it being dangerous for Ballerina’s health, cold weather is the best. A dark blue hue of a December night.

Suddenly, the hair on my neck started to rise as an uncomfortable feeling was felt throughout my spine. I quickly turned around, surprised to see no one behind me. Weird. It almost felt like someone was watching me, someone was standing just a few meters behind me.

Afraid to turn back around, I stared in different directions, trying to make sure that it was just an illusion. I stopped only when the bus arrived, and when I was walking up the stairs it all felt the same. Someone was staring. This time, when I glanced back again, there was a tall figure standing on the same spot as I was.

A shiver ran down my spine. Whiskey eyes. I slowly trailed my gaze back to the front, making sure to check if my face was hidden properly in the scarf. He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t recognize it.

For instance, the thought of him entering a bus ran through my mind, but it quickly vanished when the door closed and the car started to move. I couldn’t help but glance back in the same direction.

He wasn’t there.

***

“Rome, can you come over tonight? I have some leftover pasta, I don’t want it to go bad,” I lied. Of course, I wouldn’t tell him that I was about to piss myself after today’s encounter.

So I lied.

“Dude. I’m not your food dispenser. I can’t today, my grandma insists that I spend the night at her house.”

I shut my eyes, biting down on my knuckles for a sec, I couldn’t force him.

“Hah, that is fine. There are a few stray cats here, they can sleep with their stomachs full tonight. Say hi f to Grandma Mey for me,”

I ended the call, splashing my feet in the cold water, almost making them go numb.

“Ugh, f**k,” I groaned when the toenail on my thumb started to hurt, guess we have to say bye-bye to the baby. Reaching for my nail cutter, I bit down on my shirt before shoving the toenail between the blades.

*cut*

“MMph, s**t,” It was done. A wrapped bandage around it, securing it carefully, it will be okay in the morning.

I emptied the basin in the shower, dried my feet completely, and with my favorite fuzzy socks, my back laid on the bed.

*tick tick*

I glanced at my stand, the familiar watch continued to do its job, yet every tick reminded me of him.

A buzz felt next to my pillow, a message?

My eyes widened, I suddenly sprang up, moving to my apartment’s door to make sure it was locked. No, No.

I stared back at my phone, praying that this time, I was really imagining things. I wasn’t.

**unknown**

‘Did you miss me?’