Winter's Pup

Hello everyone, I am starting this book alongside The Forgotten Luna. It will take place in the Ice Howler's Pack. This book contains descriptions of abuse including: s****l assault, physical and emotional violence, psychological manipulation, power imbalance, and trauma responses, including dissociation and self-neglect. These elements integral to the protagonist's survival story and are treated with the gravity that they deserve. That said, they may be triggering or deeply distressing to some readers. Please prioritize your mental health and boundaries. This is considered a dark story. Read at your own risk. - - - - - - - - Riven The light of dawn filtered in through the window, warming up the small private bedroom that Kayn granted me. Omega’s usually didn’t get private bedrooms in the Ice Howler Pack, it was a privilege that few got outside of the ranked members. I groaned as I sat up, the lingering soreness in my body a dull ache. Kayn was rough last night, and as I pulled the soft, plush beige blanket away from my skin I saw that my thighs where he had gripped me to keep me spread for him were bruised turning beautiful shades of blue and purple. Looking up around the small room, the walls were decorated with neutral art that the former Luna, Kayn’s mother, picked out for this guest room. The king size bed was in the center of the room with two small nightstands on either side. The small lamps on the nightstands were made of crystal, breakable, but beautiful in the gleaming light that they let off in the room. While I appreciated the room, it came with downsides. Everyone knew that the only reason that I had it was to be closer to the Alpha, for his ease of access. There was little else in the room beside the fuzzy rug meant to protect my feet from the cold stone floor under foot. At least I didn’t come back bloody last night and ruin the sheets, again. That had happened before, and Kayn had punished me for allowing other omega’s to take care of the laundry the next morning. He expected me to endure his favoritism, gracefully and privately. It looks like he was rough last night, my wolf, Senna, commented softly. She blocked herself from my memories whenever Kayn called me to his rooms, making me feel utterly alone. He was, I confirmed, though I didn’t think it was nearly as saddening as Senna did. Why do you bear his summons? You could say no to him. I could, I paused, trying to explain this to her. But, this is how I survive. You know we can’t tell them who my parents were. Kayn would kill us. Senna scoffed. That would be better than being his w***e. I knew I would get nowhere with Senna. Senna didn’t understand why I agreed to this arrangement, and sometimes I hardly remember why either. My parents were runaways from their previous pack, and they had hidden who they were from Kayn’s father, the former Alpha of the Ice Howlers. Before they died, they told me and warned me to keep their secret at any cost. Kayn had begun looking my way when I started to fill out my clothes a little more at sixteen, and he started summoning me to his room when I turned eighteen about a year ago. At first he was loving, and promised me the world. That facade remained until I was foolish enough to spread my legs for the Alpha. He laid his claim on me and my body, forbade me from leaving the pack like all eighteen year olds who want to find their mates. His aggression and dominance only got worse when he lost his choice of Luna, Astrid Williams. Though her name is Astrid Elias really, her pedigree would have allowed him to take over more lands. Since his failure to obtain her, he only got rougher, and I often went to bed with bruises and sore limbs. Shaking my head to get my problems out of my head, I stood up on shaky and wobbly legs. I was still sore down there, but it was tolerable for now. The adjoining bathroom to my room was smaller than most, and I splashed water on my face to wake myself up before chaining into an outfit for training. The tight shorts covered the bruises on my ass from Kayn spanking me, and the loose shirt covered the ones on my hip and waist from how he gripped me to keep me still and pull me against him. Lastly, I pulled my soft light brown hair up into a ponytail, pulling one strand loose to frame my face. I was thankful that the bruises were easy to hide or I would be trying to cake make up on my face right now. Don’t forget your necklace, Senna warned me with a loathing tone as I turned away from the mirror to head out to face the day. I paused, knowing she meant the metallic loose, adjustable choker. I sighed, picking it up off the counter, slipping it around my neck before threading the chain through the heart shaped hole and pulling it enough to tuck the end into my cleavage. It was part of my agreement with Kayn, but I hated wearing it. People often pulled on it when they called me names, asking if I liked being choked. Thanks Senna. Even though Senna hated my arrangement with Kayn, she knew why I did it and looked out for me in her own way. I paused on the way to the door, looking in the mirror once more. Though I was showing skin, it was practical for what we were going to do in training this morning, and it covered more than some of the other she wolves would so I hoped I would be safe from the mocking that I knew was coming my way. Leaving the room was stepping into the cold hallway, the stone walls felt suffocating yet oddly endearing with how I had grown up in this place. It felt medieval, which is how Kayn and his family liked their home. The further I got into the packhouse, the more stares I got. I was used to the stares and the whispers, but the whispers would always linger around me. I couldn’t forget the way they stared at me, like I was a leech or a cockroach who had somehow managed to get into the packhouse and into Kayn’s heart. Little did they know that Kayn didn’t love or even like me, the only thing he felt for me was lust. No one understood that. “Whore.” Someone muttered as I passed the laundry staff, who were making their way down the hallway to the rooms to clean them, and someone would likely forget mine as usual. The sound of someone spitting caught my attention as the glob of spit landed on my shoe. As much as I wanted to retaliate, I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to wince from the pain. The humiliation was standard, and not unexpected given my relationship with the Alpha. I don’t feed their bullying, keeping my head down as I head towards the kitchen to get breakfast. Nothing would be ready for me like it would be for everyone else, but I like cooking. The kitchen was busy as always, the head omega Mrs. Burns barking orders at the omegas who were cooking the breakfast meal for the ranked members. “Hi, Riven.” Mrs. Burns greeted me after she turned away from the omega who was cooking the omelettes for the Alpha. “Mrs. Burns.” I nodded in a way of greeting, keeping my eyes from meeting hers as I pulled some fruit and greek yogurt out of the fridge. I preferred to eat healthy, though werewolves did have a good metabolism and often preferred healthier foods than junk food. I have seen plenty of wolves eating junk food, but our bodies wouldn’t gain weight the same way a human would. Mrs. Burns passed me some granola before turning back to barking orders that I tuned out. I lost myself in slicing the strawberries and bananas into the bowl of yogurt, sprinkling granola and some brown sugar on the top before splashing in some milk to thin out the texture. “Thanks, Mrs. Burns.” I called as I picked up my bowl, heading towards the communal dining hall. The dining hall reminded me of the cafeteria in the movie Mean Girls, everyone stopped to stare at me when I walked in and remained on my figure until I found a seat in the corner by the door. The bench was cold against my skin. I tried to ignore the stares and whispers as I took a small bite of yogurt and banana. The sugar hit my taste buds as the first whispers reached me. “Heard she bit the pillow this time.” One warrior who was assigned to guard the Alpha joked with his friends. I didn’t remember any of their names, but the table burst into laughter. Another one took another look at me then turned around. “Kayn doesn’t like it when they scream.” They weren’t wrong, but I knew better than to confirm that information. No one wanted to know the stuff their alpha was into, but everyone knew it was violent. Some of his favorites didn’t survive. “She has lasted the longest, so she must like it.” That one made my face burn, and I heard the snickering. They knew I could hear them, and they enjoyed mocking me openly. I slowly chewed through a strawberry, trying to pretend I couldn’t hear them, trying to block them out. Just because I was used to it, doesn’t mean that the whispers didn’t hurt. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. “She will never have any friends if she keeps going when the Alpha calls her, she is his dog whore.” But were they wrong? They weren’t, and I knew it. I would go if he summoned me, but they didn’t know it meant my survival. The rest of breakfast went through a blur as I finally managed to dissociate from the rumors, whispers, and speculation happening around me. I walked back to the kitchen in silence, putting my bowl in the sink and quickly making my way out of the packhouse. A lot of the pack had already made their way outside, and I was greeted by a breeze of ice cold air into my face. I took a deep breath, breathing in the cold, sharp air as my eyes adjusted to how early it was and how dark it still was. The sun wouldn’t rise for another hour yet, but we liked to get training started early. My pack members were already tousling around, wrestling in pairs in the snow. They wouldn’t invite me. Ignore them Riven. It is hard to, Senna. Sometimes I wish I could belong in the normalcy that this pack tries to pretend exists. The pack is better now, actually. Just ignore them, focus on running. I laughed to myself, earning a few looks from those around me. Senna meant running away, and I shook my head in active denial. “Look at the w***e, she is crazy.” Someone mocked. “She is probably talking to her wolf.” “Maybe the wolf is telling her to stop whoring herself, and she is refusing.” Great, now they think we argue. I told Senna bitterly. We do though, and I agree with them. Stop whoring yourself to Kayn. I put up a wall. I couldn’t deal with Senna saying that my choices were ruining me right now. I had to focus on surviving the morning with the pack members. Even though Kayn would be at training like always, he wouldn’t protect me. He would keep them from killing me, but they could bully me all they wanted. He saw that as seeing I was worthy of his attention. Sometimes I hoped he would decide I wasn’t worth it.