Chapter One
“Rachel? Who was that?” Ethan couldn't help but inquire when he heard the voice in the background. He couldn't rely on his instincts. He’d had inklings that Rachel had been having an affair, but he always shoved the thoughts away.
“It's no one, Ethan,” she replied softly.
“Don't tell me it's no one, Rachel,” he insisted.
Instead of squabbling, she decided to make it plain to him.
“Look, Ethan, I’ve always wanted to tell you this.” A short pause followed after she spoke. He felt like ending the call, but strangely, without knowing what prodded him, he listened. “I… I don’t think I can keep on with this. I like it here in New York.”
For a long moment, the line went quiet. Rachel's words were like a sharp knife in his chest, and for a second he thought he hadn't heard clearly. “Keep on with what, Rachel?”
“This marriage of ours. I'm really sorry about this, Ethan.”
“What do you mean, Rachel? That you're walking away?” He had to be sure he had heard correctly. She couldn't end it like this.
“I really wish I had the time to talk this over with you.” She paused. “I don’t think we can keep this going.”
His breathing grew heavy as he tightened his grip on the phone.
“You’ve gotten yourself a lover, right?” She let out a deep sigh as she took in the question, hoping her mind would come up with an answer. But Ethan disconnected the line before she could say another word.
It had been two years since this happened, but the memories were still strong in Ethan's mind like he experienced it last week. And for two years and counting, it had been hard to let go. Rachel was the first girl he had ever had a serious relationship with, and it had never crossed his mind they would end up as a couple. But their relationship was filled with so much warmth and love. He could still recall their first meeting, he’d seen her a few times, but that night was different. It was at the faculty’s dinner awards night at Harvard Law School. She looked ravishing in her red silk dress and high heels, her hair tied into a French twist. She sat alone at a table, lightly sipping her cocktail. He could tell she was waiting for someone, but he didn't let that stop him. He’d heard a few of his friends whispering about how good-looking she was.
While he stared in her direction, their eyes met a few times, but only for fleeting seconds. He knew he needed to take his chance.
“Hey, you’re expecting someone?” he said as he scooted back the empty chair and claimed it. Sitting close to her, he had a better look at just how beautiful she was. Her blue eyes were the prettiest he had ever seen. Her perfume was intoxicating; it was all his nostrils could take in at the moment.
“Yeah, but it appears she’s taking longer than expected,” Rachel replied, touching and scrolling through her phone for the text message she had received.
“Oh, a she? Thank goodness,” he thought to himself.
“It’s going to be a long night; I think that’s why she’s taking so much time. So, I’m Ethan.” Despite being nervous at first, he held out a hand for a handshake.
“Rachel Matthews.” Holding his gaze with a stiffened smile, she took his palm. “But my friends call me Rachie.”
“So what do I call you?”
“Whatever is fine with you.”
And they kicked off well that night. Her friend joined them later on, but he’d already spent a good portion of the evening at her table. They rambled on about many things. As a good conversationalist, she was the kind of companion everyone liked to have around. By the time he returned home that night, he had her phone number and a glimpse of who she was.
For the following nine months, their relationship went on well. As law students, he was a year ahead of her, they studied together, went to the movies on weekends, and loved the same meals. It didn’t take him long to find out that she was the best in her year, and right then he knew they had to take their relationship to the next level. Just a few months after she obtained her law degree from Harvard, Ethan tied the knots. But moving in as couples, his expectations he had about a blissful married life with Rachel were ruined. Rachel turned out to be the ambitious career woman who cared very little about being a wife or a mother. Her ambitions and dreams to be a super successful lawyer consumed her.
“Rachel,” Ethan called softly, he could recall the night when he tried talking to her about the late hours she came home from the office. “We need to talk.”
“I'm so tired, Ethan, I had a long day at the office.”
“Look, babe, I really need to get this off my chest, I can't keep this any longer.” That caught her attention as she turned to face him from her lying position.
“What's the problem?”
He released a deep sigh, and lowered his head. “It's about your work schedule, Rachel.”
She darted her eyes as though she didn't get him. “So, what about it?”
He lifted his head and met her gaze. “Just lately, I realized that you choose to remain at the office, long after working hours are over.”
“Hold it,” she made a face that showed astonishment. “Let me get you now, so you've been talking behind my back with my co-workers?”
“Listen, Rachel, that's not the issue right now, Okay.” He gestured with his hands as he leaned forward. “All I'm saying is that you'd be drifting away from your home, if you keep on like this. We barely have time to talk, or maybe go out for a dinner date, I'm quite sure you don't even know what I've been dealing with at the office. If you should keep on like this what happens when we have kids, have you ever thought about that?”
She lowered her head, and placed a hand on her temple. “Is this what you woke me up to speak to me about?”
Ethan's gaze sharpened with disbelief. “I don't get you, Rachel. Isn't this important to you?”
“it is, Ethan, but I expect you to understand what I aspire for.”
“I do understand that, honey, all I'm saying is that you can't put off your family all because of a career.”
“I'm not putting off anyone, Ethan.” She sought to be defensive.
“Oh yes, you are, Rachel.”
A grim silence reigned for a moment, as they held their gaze at each other.
“Look babe, I never said this to hurt you.”
“Oh, please don't tell me that, Ethan.” She snapped his hand away when he tried to touch her, she yanked the bedsheets aside and stormed out of the room. She didn't come back to the bed that night. And he thought the conversation would have a little effect on her, and make her adjust her work schedule, but she stayed the same.
And it didn’t take up to six months before a serious threat to their marriage came, the very fear Ethan had. Rachel had come home that night bubbling with so much excitement, like one who had just won the lottery.
“Oh my goodness, Honey.” Grinning from ear to ear, she took a seat beside him. He couldn't help but mirror her mood, he smiled too. “Have a look.” She took out a paper from the envelope and handed it to him.
Slowly, he took it and read through it, then raised his eyes to look at her. “Wow, this is awesome,” he said with very little enthusiasm. She'd received a job offer to work at one of the top law firms in New York. It wasn’t the exact place she dreamed of working, but it was a significant step toward realizing her ultimate goal.
She noticed the sadness that dimmed his expression as he looked at the letter again. “Babe, aren't you happy?” she asked.
“Of course I am.” He put on a false smile.
“I doubt that, Ethan,” she countered. “You aren't happy, right?” Her eyes tinged with suspicion as her gaze held his. His long silence answered her question.
“Ethan.” She reached for his hand and touched it. “I know this might not be okay with you, but we both know how much this means to me. I’ll come over to San Francisco as often as I can.” She had used that promise to ease his worries about them being apart. And no amount of talking or pleading was going to stop her from moving. He knew that stopping her would only lead to her walking out of the marriage. All he could rely on were the promises she made.
But her commitment to her new job became more intense than ever. She barely had time to speak with him on the phone. Visiting San Francisco was out of the picture. There was always a case to work on, one appointment to catch. At times, he wondered if she even remembered she had a husband. He needed no one to tell him that it had all ended between them. The call that morning, when he heard her with her new lover, was just a confirmation of what he suspected.
He sat on the edge of the bed now, staring sadly into nothingness. He knew he had to move on, but could he? Would he get past his pain and find love again?
